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Re my subject line: I know the cheese is supposedly a reference to money, but c'mon JC, that's not at all grammatically correct!

How is everyone?!? It's Saturday!! Yesterday was a cluster fuck at work. Apparently, at around 8am, our software that normally texts our patients to remind them to call to schedule new orders was upgraded, or something was "fixed," and it sent out a text to patients with orders. ALL orders. It didn't matter if that fucker was 3 years old, it texted people that there were new orders available to schedule.

We noticed this when our queue suddenly jumped from it's average, like 10-15 suddenly spiked to 30. Then 50.

We were getting calls from. people that they had received this text, and we'd go in their chart, and there'd be no orders at all or there'd be an order from early 2025 that had been done elsewhere. It was puzzling, but it kept happening. And the number kept climbing.

The system had sent off the text for everyone who had an order. Didn't matter from when, didn't matter if it had already been done under another order number. Nope, they all got it. 6,000 people got an early morning text. And they all called at once, eager to make their new appointment.

It was chaos. It was much different being a PAS III than a II. I was watching the increasingly frantic messaging and taking calls to try to help, but by the time the queue hit 110, it was obvious that one person was not going to make a difference.

The lunch time bitchfest was mostly us sitting there staring at each other while shell shocked. Apparently, we weren't the only ones who were getting slammed.

In the meantime, our shiny new phone system continued to be wonky, at one point merging two patient calls. Thankfully, the pt's couldn't hear each other, but the agents could hear each other. It was very strange.

I offered to work today, just in case. I can take escalations and support the team if there's any problems, and take calls if it gets crazy. Hopefully, it won't, but we're prepared for the worst.

After work, we were going to go to get chair massages at the grand opening of the massage salon, but traffic was absolute hell, so we ended up going straight to get Yoda. We made a brief stop at the Amish Market, since we're not supposed to pick him up til about 5:30, I picked up some ribs that looked amazing, and some sweet stuff. I have molasses cookies! They're so tasty.

Then, it was off to pick up a small dog. They assured met that he'd been a good boy, and the one dude actually seemed sad that he was leaving. He 100% had them wrapped around his little furry paws. All he wanted was snuggles and love. We have so many pictures of him with his head shoving into their hand for more. More pets, plz.

But he was a very good puppy, and apparently "So sweet and such a pleasure to work with!" He was so excited to see us. He barked and wagged and was just adorable. Then he cried halfway home, because he had to stay in his seatbelt and not climb in the front seat into my lap.

Once he finished running around and being cute, he immediately flopped on the sofa and passed out. It's so hard to be a sleepaway camp puppy.

Then, we had game, which was so much fun. I needed that after the day I had at work, even if it cut into my sleep time.

Today shall be the day of making Yoda's food. I should be able to get two batches done today, I think. I have work, and then one game. I'll just start the process before I start work. Then, I'll take a wee break from work to transfer the meat out and add in the grain and vegetable, and then it'l be done when I'm done wor. It can cool a bit during game, and then we bag it and start again.

( Your daily vacation musings. )
Today, we have Marchen at 12:30 (yay!!!) Then we shall go to the bank and to pick up Yoda's pills where we forgot them at the daycare. After that, we shall see. I have a new dresser to put together. The box has been sitting here for at least 4 months, mocking me, so I might try to get that put together, so I have somewhere to put the overflow of clothing that we have. This way, we'll have somewhere to put some of the heavier clothes, and leggings, and maybe even a sock drawer.

Tomorrow will be for relaxing a bit, I think. We do a have game with

poisontaster at 6:30pm, so that will be lovely. Maybe, if I'm very ambitious, we'll go out for lunch. We'll gird ourselves for the longest 3 day workweek ever. Maybe, if I'm very ambitious, we'll go out for lunch.

Okay, time to start getting myself in gear. Everyone have a super Saturday!

Just remember...

It's also Fri-yay, which is a lovely thing. Work should be mostly quiet, we'll have our midday bitchathon meeting, and then I'll be free for two whole days, which should be lovely. Once I'm off, we're going to drive up to the Healing Path's grand opening and get some chair massages, then off to get the puppy from his camp. I don't know who's going to be happier, Yoda or us.

It seems like he's had a really good time at camp. There was a picture of him last night where he looked like he was givign them a little play bow. It was hecking adorable. The updates are always fun, too. I'm glad he likes it. That makes me feel better about leaving him for 12 days. Even so, I'm going to feel guilty about it being so long.

The weekend will be awash in games, which is exciting. I'm looking forward to playing a lot. Especially after having to cancel a bunch of games last weekend due to the stomach bug/Mounjaro combo pack.

My stomach has settled down a bit, so Mounjaro may continue to be my friend, after the cruise. If it does the job, a day and a half of feeling not great may be an acceptable trade off until I acclimate.

I got an email yesterday, sending me a welcome to the Pan Pacific Hotel, and getting any dietary restrictions or accommodations that we might need. I replied, and mentioned that I wasn't sure which type of club room we were in, City or Harbor View. The concierge said it was city view, but as they had some harborview suites still available, he could upgrade me for free if I wanted.

Did I want? Fuck yes. So now, we will be waking up to the sight of our ship coming in on Saturday morning, and it's going to be awesome.

Pan Pacific Harborview Room

I'm sorry we don't have more time in Vancouver. It's such a beautiful city, and we're basically going to be coming through in a whirlwind. We'll just have to go back, I suppose. What a hardship.

( We're under a week! )

Is it 4:30pm yet? I want my massage and my dog back. I'm really proud of my dog. He's done so well, and I'm so glad he's relaxed a bit at the sleepaway camp. I'm looking forward to picking him up and getting screamed at, even. He's going to get SO many cuddles this weekend as we try to store up for the long vacation. I was so convinced that this was going to be traumatic, and it really hasn't been. He's been good, and letting them give him love. Oh! Actually on his first report card yesterday, they mentioned that they took him on a nice walk, and he kept sitting down during it and giving "his little Yoda look" until they stop and pet him. I know this look well. It says "Pet me and give me a treat." He's got them wrapped around his furry little paw. I mean, he is very> cute, but normally such a little asshole.

I know Assistant Manager J is out, but I think everyone else should be in today, so I probably won't have to watch teams at all. Shame, I kind of enjoy it.

Lately we've been getting a lot of appointment requests that are just bonkers. "I'm have a horrible, life threatening diagnosis, and I need this appt to move forward with surgery, but I can only come on the second and fourth Friday of the month, between 10am and 2pm at the busiest site you have." I have facepalmed more than once looking at these requests. I'm good, but I am not a miracle worker. There are limits!

I need to do so much cooking this weekend. At least three separate batches worth of Yoda's food. I'm going to try to do one today, and if I do one on Monday or Tuesday that gives me a little bit of wiggle room to only do two on the weekend.

I have so much goat, lamb and chicken gizzards in my fridge and freezer. This dog better know how loved he is.

My house is going to smell so bad for the next few days.

6 days, y'all! I am so excited! The next week is going to drag. Especially Wednesday! I'm going to be useless at work. Just checking the clock every three minutes to see if it's 4:30 yet.

Okay, time to start figuring out my day. Everyone have a beautiful Friday!

Well, fuck. The nausea wasn't all the stomach bug. Some of it was the Mounjaro. I gave myself the shot on Tuesday afternoon and by 10am yesterday I was feeling nauseous and now I've added the repeated bathroom runs. This is no bueno, and Mounjaro will not be coming on vacation with us. I'll just skip it for a week and restart when I come back. Because apparently, side effects will ease up in a few weeks, but I am not feeling like this on my vacation. Just hell no.

Once we get home, I'll restart and give it a couple weeks to see if it settles down. I'm going to be on a ship with unlimited free food. I am not spending the week nauseous.

We've got Jess mostly packed. Being nonbinary frees up a lot of luggage space apparently. They don't have to worry about dresses or which shoes to take. They've got a pair of tennis shoes and a pair of crocs for the pool and that's it. We have a couple of more shirts to pack once they're washed today, and after that, I think they're done. Their suitcase topped out at a whopping 30lbs. Mine for comparison is 43. They'll have to pack their carry on bag but knowubg Jess that won't be very much stuff either. Fancy night is much easier when you don't have to pack a ton of extras.

We've all got very bright or saturated colors for our bags to make them easier to see on the baggage claim. Mine will probably be toughest to see, as it is a very pretty gunmetal/navy color. Jess' is a bright teal, my sister's is dark purple and the BIL has forest green. We should be good, I hope.

Yesterday was very busy. I spent most of the morning frantically paddling through the pile of messages and emails, and then moved to shifting people into the slots that were open. It was a good day for that. I had no less than 3 people tell me that I was their favorite person. One nearly cried with relief that we could get them in to check the breast mass.

After work, I was going to go pick up meats at the punjab market, but I felt assy. I think I'm going to order from instacart to get the meat for Yoda's food. Cooking it will be a fresh bit of hell, because it smells bad and icky when my stomach is in top form. I don't think it'll be any better with an upset stomach.

Tomorrow night, we go to get Yoda. THe pictures continue to be adorable. Yesterday, he apparently got a poopy butt, but they're taking care of it. We have lots of good pictures, and it sounds like he's doing well. It's been really quiet in the house. I even miss him barking at our neighbors. We also have an open house at a newly opened spa. I probably won't stay long, but if I can get a seated massage, I'd be happy. Of course, that is contingent on how I'm feeling on Mounjaro.

( Holy Shit, 7 days )We have games set up all this weekend. I've got Blades on Friday, then Marchen on Saturday, and then

poisontaster is running Prophecy of the Nine Omens, which is always super fun. I'm also going to be doing a lot of cooking, so that Yoda will have food for our trip.

I'm really proud of him for being such a good little gentleman. Every other report card we get talks about how sweet he is, and how he's a pleasure to work with, which is lovely to hear. He can be such a little asshole sometimes, but it's nice to see that someone else sees the good side. I really can't wait to pick him up tomorrow. I've missed him horribly. I'm not looking forward to putting him back in 5 days later, but he really needed a couple of stays for lead up to vacation, and after the pet sitter decided he was "too wild," we didn't have much time to do it in.

One of his report cards says that he's really opening up to them, which is good to hear. I want him to be comfortable and as stress free as possible.

I plan to get a visit package, so that he can go for a few days here and there after we're back. I feel like that would be good for him. And he'll spend the night when we go to see Rocky Horror and Weird Al.

I mentioned in the cut part that if anyone wants a post card from Canada or Alaska, I bought some postcard stamps. Just send me a message with your info and I'll do my best to send you one. If you have a specific city you want it from, let me know. We're going to Seattle, Vancouver, Juneau, Ketchikan and Skagway.

And now, I shall go forth and get myself together. Everyone have a wonderful Thursday!

It's Hump day! Thank goodness, we're halfway through the week. This week and the three days next week are just going to drag on forever.

Yesterday was a quiet day. I spent most of it trying to fill a cardiac MRI, but I swear, no one wanted it. Fortunately, one of my coworkers finally filled it in, because I was ripping my hair out. I swear, I called over 45 people. Half didn't answer the other half felt like July was just fine for their heart scan. After that, I tried to start filling the Cardiac Schedule for Columbia, but the stystem wouldn't let me, so I'll need to wait a bit for that to get fixed.

After that, with everyone's stomachs behaving themselves, I ran out and got some Italian food from a place that opened nearby. The food was very good but lord, we have so many leftovers. I'm planning to have my short rib ravioli for breakfast. Sadly, I ate the shrimp scampi appetizer, but it was SO good.

We got another good report card for Yoda, which was nice. I really like this place. They send twice daily "report cards" which are usually kind of cutesy and positive, I'm sorry pawsitive. Even the corny, cutesy stuff makes me inordinately happy. He seems pretty good, but I've been a little worried that he was stressed, and that's why he was being such a total love pig to the staff, because we hadn't seen a full body picture where his tail was up. well, yesterday's pictures alleviated that worry with this picture.

He looks so happy! I nearly cried. I'm missing him something fierce, but that did help to settle my nerves that they're the right people to leave him with.

Then, we sat down and watched the rest of the video series of the British couple taking the same trip we are, which was very nice and relaxing.
( Yup, she's about to spew random vacation thoughts again )
Tonight I have to go pick up some meats so that I can make the dogs food. I've got lamb and goat and chicken gizzards and livers. The stinkier the better for Yoda. I'm going to go on a cooking spree over the next few days, so that we have enough food for his kennel stay. I need 24 packets, and I usually get 7-10 packets our of a batch, so I've got at least three or four cooking sessions between now and Tuesday. I also need to make more of the food to hold him from Friday night til Tuesday. By the time we take him on Wednesday morning, I will need to have made at least 36 packets minimum on hand. IT might be slightly less, because I still have some in the freezer from the last time I cooked.

So tomorrow, I'll start cooking and vacuum sealing. They like us at the daycare, because we bring pre-portioned food that makes it easy for them to dump and go. Also because we have "the sweetest dog," who is "a pleasure to work with." Go figure.

The good thing is that aside from sealing, the cooking isn't that labor intensive. Throw meat into pot at 7:30am with water to cover. Boil until 10am, when you pull the meat and bones and then throw in veggies and rice. (he's especially fond of sweet potatoes or butternut squash and green beans) Boil them until tender/done and put the meat back in at lunch time. Cover, and portion and seal it after work.

On Friday, a spa that we have gone to is opening a new location near us, so after work, we're going to go visit, and have free seated massages. Then, it'll be off to get a dog who will. yell at us.

We're going to have a quiet weekend, and tie up any last little things that we need to do before we leave.

Okay, time for me to hop off and get myself ready for work. I've only got 6 more work days before we go. They're going to feel super long and dragged out, I know. Everyone have an amazing Wednesday!

It's Tuesday! We all survived Monday! It wasn't horrific, even though we started the day down by 3 managers/semi managers (like me). As a result, I was not on the phone. I spent the first four hours of my day on the Teams chat, answering questions. In the past, this led to people questioning me, but yesterday it wasn't bad.

It didn't hurt that they were relatively easy questions, and it made the morning fly by.

The afternoon was a wee bit slower, but we got through it.

Unfortunately, my sister also has the stomach ick, which necessitated cancelling a work trip. I feel horribly guilty, but less so since she was really not excited about going. And this will make it less likely that she'll be sick for vacation. The score is now Plague 3-Humans 0. I'm still having some occasional queasiness. It's not bad, but once in a while it still pops up. Usually it only lasts for a minute, but it is there.

After work, I had my psych appt. That was as usual, a nothing burger. Ten minutes later, I was on my way, and we were good to go.

Yoda is at the kennel all this week. Twice a day they send us pictures and report cards. Today, all of his pictures was him snuggling up with the staff for pettings and love. There were some seriously cute pictures, too.

Is that not the smugest damn dog ever?

His most recent report card mentioned that he is the sweetest dog and how it's a pleasure to get to work with him.

I'll draw your mind back and note that this is the dog who flunked out of another daycare. The dog who made the in home sitter say "No, he's too wild," and cancel his second meetup. My dog is awesome, I love him dearly, but he's an asshole. He barks at other people, dogs, sounds in the hallway like it's his Olympic event. But not for them! No, he's the sweetest dog. I can't even.

I'm glad he's happy. I'm paying an exorbitant amount for him to be kenneled this week and for the vacation because he's in his own little suite. No crate for our little prince. He gets a room to himself with both a dog bed and a four poster bed. It has a camera in there so we can watch him while he naps. He gets multiple enrichment sessions per day. (Which for him seems to be cuddle sessions, fuck that lick mat in particular.) And those life giving updates, where the kennel workers jot down a few sentences and send them to us. We live for those. It'll be easier on vacation, when were doing stuff. But while we're just sitting at home, it's hard to be without the baby.

I know it's needed. He needs to get more social, and he needs to get used to being boarded for multiple nights, so he knows we'll come back for him, but it's tough on us while he's away. The house is too quiet. No jingling tags, no barking. It's quiet. No walks, which has honeslty been a blessing for Jess while they're sick. Between my knee acting up and the stomach bug, I haven't taken him out in a week at least.

We are officially down to single digits til vacation. Things are ramping up, and the excitement is rising. Our boarding passes downloaded to our phones, so that's another step towards the cruise!

( Cut for more babble about vacation, much of it a repeat, I'm sure. )

Today, hopefully work will be quiet, and it'll be a good day. It would be nice if everyone is back, but we'll see. I can't remember if I set up my away message yet, so I should do that so that I don't forget. I've already put in mail holds and Fedex holds, so we should get minimal packages while we're away.

My stomach continues to improve. Yesterday, I ordered from a nearby Jewish Deli so I could get Jess and my sister some matzo ball soup, which was so good and salty and delicious. I had some and also got myself half a brisket sandwich, all of which settled. Dinner was chicken noodle and latkes from the deli. I liked the matzo ball soup better, but the chicken noodle was also good. Depending on the state of tummies today, I may be ordering more.

Jess, I think, is on the mend. They're still a bit queasy, but not the full blown nausea of Sunday night. My sister is currently in the throes of full nausea. We'll see how they're both feeling today before we decide between soup and crackers or something else a tiny bit more adventurous, like grilled chicken.

And on that note, I'm going to hop off and start getting ready. Everyone have an outstanding Tuesday!

And somehow we’re back to Monday, all over again. Ew. I feel like I lost most of my weekend to being sick, which is annoying. Worse yet, I spread it, and now Jess is sick too. They spent yesterday nauseous as hell, and ended up dropping out mid-game. So far, it's just been the nausea, but we'll see how it progresses. We have ginger ale! I feel horrible that I gave them my ick, while at the same time I'm kind of grateful, because it means that it's probably not the Mounjaro that caused my distress. I'm going to take the Mounjaro shot today and hope for the best. If it makes me nauseous, that just means that it's not coming to Alaska. I can take Rybelsus for 10 days if need be. By pushing it to Monday from Sunday, it means that I would only need to take 1 shot. (I'll still take two just in case of trip delays.)

On the other hand, I'm feeling mostly better, though still not 100%. Mostly now, I'm just a little more tired and my back is still tender from all the upchucking. I apparently came within inches of throwing my back out, judging by how sore it was Sat night into Sunday. It's improving as well.

Yesterday at noon, we took the puppy in for his longer boarding before the big one. He'll be there 5 days, and his humans are already lonely as fuck. I know it's important that he get accustomed, but it's hard on his parents, too. He's in one of their penthouse suites, which is a small room with a doggy bed and a four poster bed for his use. It's very nice and I hope he has a good time. The couple of times I've looked in, he was either in the bed, or laying by the door. It's an important step, but it sucks. I want my dog. But in 9 days, he's going to have to spend 12 days there, and I want him to be comfortable, and know that we're going to come back for him, even if 5he's there awhile. Still, it's very quiet in the house and I don't like it.

( More vacation babbling, cut to spare those who don't care about the minutia. )

Today shall doubtless be busy, and I'll be on the phone a lot. The new phone system has not been as bad as expected, though sometimes there's definitely some lag. I did what they suggested and am using an ethernet cable to connect, because they swear that wifi isn't sufficient for their precious systme, Which is a failure of their system if you ask me. They sent us new headsets, which I hate. They squeeze my ears more than the old one. As a result, I'm still using the old one, which works perfectly well.

Lots of shit going down at work, though. I know we're losing one person, and I think a couple of others are on thin ice, which will suck, because it takes a couple of months to train a person to do our job, so even if they hire people right away, (which they won't. Hopkins is slow.) we'll be short for a while.

My friend starts on May 11th. Right when I'm out of town, so I'll make sure to ask my other friend to send her a welcome message. And I'll send one before I leave as well. She's already set up on Teams and email.

Hoping Jess feels a little better today. I know they felt miserable last night.

I have my psych appt this evening, which will be a nothing burger. I'm stable on the meds I'm on now, so that should be a 5 minute appt if that. I suppose in honor of that, I'll actually put clothes on. I've been working the last few days while I was sick in a nightgown.

I need to call today to get our disposal looked at. A shot glass fell down there, and I didn't realize it, so I turned the disposal on, and now it's not working. Figure it's a good idea if they come while Yoda is out of the house, so as to make life easy. Hopefully, it's an easy fix and I didn't bork the whole thing.

Tomorrow, I shall make Yoda more food, maybe. I don't want my entire weekend to be cooking. But if I need to, I shall. But I'm hoping to cook a couple of times this week, and then once on the weekend to get enough food to keep him fed for his vacation. I will probably have to order more meat, as I think I'm down to ground meat which doesn't work as well for him. The chicken liver and Lamb seemed to be good for him, the liver kind of went powdery, and it made a really nice stew-type. The others have been a little less wet. He doesn't seem to have a preference, as long as it's stinky.

Mostly I expect the next 10 days to drag unmercifully. Especially the Wednesday before we leave. Work is going to be SO annoying that day. I could be repacking, or getting last minute stuff! I think I've got everything I need except hand sanitizer, but you never know. I have a suitcase, a carry on and a personal item full of things I might need, but it's better to over prepare.

And on that note, I'm going to hop off and get myself together. Gotta work to keep Yoda in the manner he's accustomed, with his homemade food and penthouse suite. Everyone have a fantastic Monday!

Well, I'm cautiously optimistic. My stomach doesn't feel too bad this morning and I didn't throw up after eating yesterday, so that's a bonus. Jess was a little nauseous yesterday, so now I'm wondering if indeed it's a stomach bug that just is slow moving because of Mounjaro. In short, I have no idea. I'm terrified to take my Mounjaro shot today, just in case it was that. If it turns out that it is, I'm going to have to hold it for the cruise. I'll go back on Rybelsus for two weeks. It won't do a ton, but it also wont make me barf my way through the cruise.

We're down to 11 days. Aaah! I feel like I'm mentally running in circles with my arms in the air, just yelling. It's so close! And it still doesn't feel really real, but it's starting to. Especially since the Boarding Passes dropped yesterday. Even feeling assy, I immediately printed them out and tucked them safely in my luggage. As I mentioned yesterday, I don't trust the wifi in the terminal or my BIL's grasp of technology, so I have them saved 3 separate places.

I think, if my stomach maintains behaving itself, we're going to pack Jess' suitcase today. I also need to shift a few things in mine. I moved most of what was in my now personal item into my carryon, and I want to shift a few things from the suitcase to the personal item, and maybe add a lightweight fleece or rain jacket in there, just in case Seattle/Vancouver are having weather. Right now, it's calling for mostly cloudy, but that could change quickly. I have a very light rain jacket that packs tiny, so I may use that. I've already got my rain hat in there. I also want to pack my bathing suit, in case I use the balcony hottub before our suitcases arrive. I don't expect that to be a problem, because most Pinnacle Suite people get their luggage pretty quickly.

For Jess' luggage, we're starting from scratch. But I'll make sure they have enough of everything. I am the (over)packing queen. As a comedian said, "I pack like I'm expecting to shit myself twice a day on vacation." For me that means underwear for the trip, plus 2 extra.

I know we have free laundry for the trip, but the bag isn't very big, so we're going to have to ration who washes what based on what's dire. I've got 7 pairs of leggings, which shouldn't need washing, and 7 tops which might. Bathing suits will probably be okay unless the pool is especially chlorine-laden. Socks might need laundering, we'll see.

I did get a new bathing suit that I'm wearing at the very least on our balcony. It's a goth/industrial bikini top, and high waisted shorts. I don't know if I'm brave enough to wear it to the thermal spa, but we'll see. Jess says it looks hot, but they're biased. I'll probably stick with a regular suit if I go to the pool. Mostly because I don't trust a bikini to stay put if I try swimming.

I definitely am overpacking on bathing suits. I've got 3, which may be excessive. Or not, who knows. I only packed one for Disney, and we swam a lot in the evenings. The pool is only open til 9pm or 10pm, so we'll have to make our evening swims early. I'm not a huge nightlife person, though I do plan to hit the Rolling Stone Rock Room and the Billboard Onboard dueling pianos at least once each. Mostly, I plan to relax, though. It's going to be a nice easy cruise, without a ton of plans. We have one excursion per port, and nothing strenuous. We'll check out the towns a bit, and then go on our excursions, and then come back to the ship and take it easy. I know the sister and BIL are psyched about the BB King Blues Club, so they'll probably be frequenting that. I appreciate that once we're on the ship, there will be different activities, so they won't be in our back pocket the whole time. I'm sure we'll do some things together, but generaly, they'll be doing their thing and we'll be doing ours.

Some of the stuff is showing up on the app as far as daily programming, so that's cool. Right now, it's a lot of promotional stuff, but more is showing up as the time passes. I can't wait for them to start posting some of the enrichment programs. They have programs that give you information about the ports, and things to see and do that I'd like to go to. They also have nightly movies near the pool, though most of those look like family friendly stuff, and not my thing.

Mostly, I want to watch the British Columbia and Alaska shoreline go past. I plan to spend as much time on the deck as possible. We've got this amazing deck that goes on forever. It's got a table and chairs, some more chairs, and then the small jacuzzi and a couple of lounge chairs. It's going to be cold, so some of this might need to be adjusted. I don't know if I'll be able to have my coffee on deck as it may be 30 degrees. Or maybe I will. I've got fleece leggings and a nice jacket and I am stubborn. I can sit out for a while, then jump back in bed and steal Jess' warms.

And now, a meme:

Getting to know me meme swiped from

dine via

maevedarcy

Origin of your username: I picked it up while I was in Metallica fandom. I wrote a fic about a lonely banshee finding love, and it's a misspelling of the Gaelic version of banshee. I picked it up soon after, and it's stuck. Before that I was PHRHiannon in wrestling fandom.

I always order this food: If a restaurant has short rib, I will be all over that 9 times out of 10. Lately, I have been on a Fish and Chips kick, though.

Current overused emoji: Probably the laughing til you cry face. I use that a lot on Discord. That and hearts of varying colors.

Current favorite show: Tough one. I don't watch a ton of TV. I've watched exactly one Heated Rivalry and one Pitt episode, but I liked both. I just don't have a ton of spare time when my sister's not in the living room. I recently watched Amazing Digital Circus on YouTube and enjoyed that. The short episodes suit both my ADHD and the right time commitment.

Current favorite book: Always Feed, by Mira Grant, with His Magesty's Dragon by Naomi Novak. Both are my comfort reads. I also love anything non-horror by T. Kingfisher and John Scalzi.

Current favorite video game: I don't really have one. My computer is a Macbook, so that cuts me out of a lot of games. I enjoy listening to Jess watching Let's Plays, but that's about it.

Song on repeat: Probably either Hear my Hope fromt he Hazbin Hotel Soundtrack or something by Ghost. I'm predictable.

Last thing you really got into: What qualifies as "really into?" I haven't been in a fandom since Supernatural, and I quit that after season 4-5, so that's a good 17 years ago. I was tangentially into Marvel for a while after Winter Soldier and into The Old Guard for a hot minute. I think D&D is still my fandom of choice, honestly.

Oddly specific thing that brings you joy: Giving Jess hugs while they're still sleep-warm. It makes me happy.

phone wallpaper: Lock screen is an awesome picture of Jess from our Disney vacation. We're on the pier near sunrise getting ready to take the boat to the Magic Kingdom, and they look happy and relaxed. I'm hoping to get a new one in Alaska that I can update it to one sans boobs. The regular wallpaper is the Aurora Borealis over Alaska. It's very pretty and soothing.

What smell makes you happy: I love the smell of cooking bread, especially when I make it. I also love the smell of sandalwood and amber. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab has some wonderful perfumes that make me happy. Current favorite is Black Rider.

Morning, night, or other type: I love my early mornings before anyone is up. It gives me a few minutes to chill and wake up before I have to people.

What’s your work/profession: I don't even know what to call what I do these days. It's part call center drone/part schedule sniper/part sort of supervisor? It's an interesting mix that I'm still kind of figuring out.

And on that note, I'm going to hop off and drink some coffee and see how that settles. Everyone have a stellar Sunday!

Today's is probably going to be a short one, because the stomach bug came roaring back yesterday and I feel like ass. I was up and down all night trying to expel everything I'd eeaten during the dya. It was not pleasant. This morning, I'm still running to the bathroom, plus I'm nauseouse as fuck.

So, short one. Up until about 7, I was feeling better. I was able to eat some bland food and I kept it down, but towards the evening, I started to feel kinda crappy. Then, blech.

Work wasn't bad. The phones weren't super bad, I learned that I too can creep on people with our new phone system. They gave me access to the dashboard where you can see what everyone's doing. Part of my job will to make sure that they're not fucking around when they're supposed to be on the phone. It's a little bit creepy, but sure, I can do that.

We had our weekly meeting, but we all were so burned out from the week that it was very quiet and short. We were off the phone in time for my normal lunch.

After that, we relaxed for a bit, and then I started feeling cruddy. I had some dinner, which was a mistake, and then the tummy troubles started.

I think once I finish this, I may go lay back down, since my sleep was very disjointed. I'll take a zofran and maybe a weed and nap. We'll see.

We're supposed to have a game tonight, but I'm thinking that may need to be moved.

Tomorrow, we also have a game, but hopefully, since I don't run that one, I'll be up to playing.

Still no boarding passes for our trip, which is annoying. I want my boarding pass!! Maybe later today it'll come up.

And on that note, I'm going to go take a nap. Everyone have an amazing Saturday!

Well, that was a fun day. The stomach woes continued yesterday, coming to a head around lunchtime, wehn I went full exorcist. I ended up calling off work early so I could be a giant lump. I slept most of the afternoon, getting up to throw up again around 5, and then going back to bed. Still not 100% sure whether this is somach bug or Mounjaro, but I'm leaning towards stomach bug, but I suppose time will tell.

Yesterday, I felt poorly enough that after I finished posting, and doing my morning things, I went back to bed. I may do that today as well.

I'm still queasy, and lower digestive tract is not happy either. I've been running to the bathroom this morning. I skipped my early morning coffee in favor of a ginger ale, which is how you know I must feel bad. I may actually drink some tea!

I've got a game tonight that is on entirely shaky ground right now. We'll see how I'm feeling after work. Right now, I would say cancel, but it's been waiting forever and a day, so I hate to push it. We're pretty near the end of the module, so it would probably be a short session. I'll see how things go.

Still no boarding passes yet. I am waiting patiently for those to arrive. But the meal choice on our flight to Seattle was ready to pick. They had some good things. I (and everyone else but Jess) opted for Parmesan chive eggs, bacon and potatoes. Jess is getting the Bananas Foster crepes, which sound delicious. If it weren't for needing protien, I'd have considered that one.

Tomorrow will be 14 days til the boat, so I'm assuming that we'll be getting the boarding passes then. On the other hand, it's now 13 days today that we leave.

I'm a bit anxious about the cruise. I've never done one, and we are a sold out, or near sold out cruise. How will I do with the people. How fat friendly is the boat? Will I do okay with all the walking. If I'll get seasick. If everyone will have fun. I hope so! I'm definitely going to have to adjust my sleep cycle, which will suck, but I'll get there. The first day, we're going to be awake for nearly 22 hours. Hopefully that'll reset us to PST. Coming back, we span an entire day in one six hour flight. We leave at 10am PST and land at 6:30 EST. Fortunately, coming back I'll have access again to my weed stash, which should help me to go to sleep early. I'm going to miss the relaxing peppermints while we're away. It's going to suck. I wonder about that, too. How well will I sleep on this trip. I'm hoping that most days I'll be too tired not to sleep, but I'm a little nervous about it.

Tomorrow, whether I feel better or not, I need to do some packing adjustments. I went ahead and bought a small carry on suitcase, so I need to move a few things from my personal item and from my suitcase to bring the weight down a touch. Plus, then I'll have access to a fleece if I need one. RIght now, it looks like Seattle and Vancouver are going to be in the 60s's, so even with getting in early, a light fleece will be plenty. I know on the way back, I may get hit with the $100 overweigh fee anyway. It's a very small suitcase, so it's not going to hold a ton, but I will try to switch a few things over to lighten it. I do need to add a dress to the carry on, just in case our bags are late getting to us. Though, since we are the Pinnacle Suite, they'll probably come fairly early.

Apparently uber to the game is super pricey, but the hotel shuttle will drop you at the light rail, which seems to go from SEATAC to the Stadium for a reasonable price. Need to do a bit more research on that, though. I'm debating between joining him to go into Seattle proper and grabbing lunch and sightseeing vs having a quiet day at the Cedarbrook Lodge. Both sound enticing. I guess we'll see how much we get done in Seattle and how well we like it as to whether we want to venture out.

I can't say I wouldn't enjoy a second shot at Pike Placie, on our own time, when the limo isn't waiting. We might be able to hit that French restaurant that I really want to try for a late lunch/early dinner. The last day on the cruise should be pretty chill, so I might feel like a little excitement.

I just plan to have all our documents printed out and in hand when we board. The BIL is not great with technology, so I don't trust him to pull up his boarding pass in terminal. I've got an itinerary with all the phone #s of the vendors and hotels we're using in case anyone needs to get in touch with us. (Mostly the BIL's family.) But it's going to be a great vacation, and no one is going to need anything from us. BIL's mother is going to be fine, his sisters are going to be fine and on our end, Yoda is going to be fine at the daycare/kennel.

I just need to re-figure dinner for the day before the cruise, since apparently people from the Facebook group would like to get together before we go on the cruise, so I'm down for that. It'll probably mean going to a boring restaurant, which will suck, but I started the group for this sailing, so I feel like I should probably be there. Maybe we can sneak in something in Chinatown for lunch. We'll just do Granville Island Public Market for second breakfast. Or first real breakfast for Jess, since they don't like eggs and probably won't have many options at the hotel breakfast.

We'll be on the boat on Sunday, so no Sunday brunch in Chinatown. But we will have the Alaska Brunch. I think we'll finish up our game by then. Let's see, we'll be starting at 9 PST, and finishing about noon. I think the brunch goes til 1, so we might have time for that. I may see if we could start a wee earlier, so we have a little more time. That'll be in the main dining room, which may be the only time I go there. Though I may go there for Tea our last sea day. That would probably be nice. We can have tea delivered to our room every day of the cruise if we want, but since we'll be at port some days, that isn't likely to happen.

I'm planning to take a ton of pictures and hopefully some video of everything we see. It'll all get uploaded to my Alaska folder on Google Photos. If anyone would like to follow along, please feel free. I will probably also be posting some of the best, most exciting pictures on here in the mornings, but I'll put them behind a cut so as to not spam anyone who's not interested. Hell, you might see the occasional afternoon post pop up with "I saw a whale!" If you follow me on bluesky, you're also going to get occasional pictures there as well. I'll save the spam on facebook until we get back, since that's under my wallet name and I'd like my home unburglarized.

So, y'know, my apologies if you see the same pictures repeatedly.

I can't believe that this time two weeks from now, I'll be sleeping in Vancouver, dreaming of Granville Market the next morning. It still seems like a completely made up idea, a scheme that would never actually happen. But I have the airline tickets and luggage tags to prove it, and that's just weird.

The next week and a half at work is going to seem SO long, especially Wednesday. Wednesday is going to drag. I'll have another 6 hours of PTO, so I may leave at noon, so I can flit about the house and watch the clock instead of doing it at work. I know I'm going to be packing my pills and a daily pill case to put them in that night. They recommend taking the bottles. I can fill another daily pill case for the night and morning pills that I'll need before we go. Then in the morning, I pack the cords for the phone, since I'll want it to charge over night. I'm still debating on whether to take the portable charger. On one hand, it could be useful. On the other, fire risk on the plane. Maybe I'll wait and buy an inexpensive one in Canada, and then toss it before we come back. That might be a good plan.

The other day, we were watching a video about the steakhouse we're going to first night, Hy's. It looked so good, even in my vaguely queasy state. It's super expensive, but we're going to live it up. I'm torn between getting the tableside prep of Steak Diane, vs the ungodly expensive 20 oz dry aged ribeye. It's a tough call, because I do love ribeye steak, but tableside flambe also sounds good. It's sure to be tasty no matter what.

Okay, I've babbled enough for one day. Everyone have a most excellent Friday!

I am not having a happy morning. My stomach woes continue, and this morning, I am not only still a touch nauseous, I'm also running to the bathroom every five minutes. Stupid body. I still have no clue if this is a tummy bug, or Mounjaro. I'm really hoping for the tummy bug. But the Mounjaro would definitely be a possibility. Stomach issues are one of the top side effects. I just need for it to settle the fuck down before work.

When my PTO for this weeks check dropped, I finally had enough time to put in for the Monday after we get back, so my vacation is completely covered, even if I cut it a bit close. I wish I had enough to call out on the Wednesday before we leave, but that's probably not going to happen. I do have 4 hours left of PTO, so if the stomach continues to protest, I might leave early today. We'll see how it settles down.

Once vacation is done, it's back to hoarding PTO like Smaug hoards gold. I have other places to go that I'll need it for. If I'm correct, I should have 9days of PTO by the time October rolls around and another 10 days by April when we're planning to go to Hawaii for a total of 19. OF that, I need 15 days between Animate!Philly, CONfab and Hawaii. So I'll definitely need to be careful of how many days I take off. I just need my body to remain illness free for a bit longer.

Today, we start with the new phone system at work. I offered to come in early, so that I can help out with the clusterfuck of getting everyone signed in and on the phones. It's likely to be a mess, though I did sign in yesterday and test everything, so at least my system will be working.

Apparently, we're going to be firing someone in the near future. They've been stealing a lot of time, so they are going to terminate them. HR is just processing the paperwork. This is the first time I've tangentially been involved in this, and it's weird to see if from the other side. I keep telling A. that if they backfill, I've got a list of people from IKEA who will be happy to apply.

Yesterday was a day. Nothing particularly exciting, aside from the whole firing thing. Oh, and I got to write, coordinate and post a scavenger hunt for Administrative Professional's Week. Also the first time I've been on that side of morale improvement stuff. It's kind of fun. Whie I was working, I had Yoda's dinner on simmer. At break, I pulled the meat out and added some sweet potatoes and some brown rice. Boiled that into submission and then re-added the deboned lamb and the chicken livers. It looked kinda gross, but he loved it. After work, we fired up the vacuum food sealer and made up a bunch of bags. It made 8, so that's a another four days worth.

Our disposal is currently not working, so cleaning the pan could be tough. A tiny shotglass fell down it, and I didn't know. I've cleaned it out, but there must be something still in there. I'm going to wait, and call in maintenance next week when the dog is in daycare.

Today, aside from the utter chaos of Talkdesk, it's going to be a nice boring day. Hopefully the stomach settles a bit.

The trip begins in just 14 days!! This time in 2 weeks, I will be sipping coffee in an airport lounge, waiting for the time to walk to our gate and board Alaska Airlines and wing our way off to Seattle.

I think all the important things are locked in. The itinerary looks pretty solid if I do say so myself. Not overly scheduled, but not under scheduled, either. We've got stuff to do in every port. I don't know if we're going to make all three of our stops in Seattle. Pike Place seems like it might be difficult to do in a short time, so we may end up devoting most of our time to it. The park sounded like fun, but it might get dropped. Of course, adding to the difficulty with Pike Place, we're probably going to be there right around lunchtime rush, so it might be very crowded. The nice thing is, if we miss something, we can just uber back the day after our cruise and visit a second time!

I've got reservations in Vancouver the first night, and as long as we finish in Seattle by like 3pm, we should be good to get there. We land at 9:51, so figure 40 min for luggage, and we're in the car by about 10:45. We get 3-4 hours in Seattle. First shall be the Space Needle then Pike Place. We leave around 2:30, we can get to Vancouver in 3 hours, and have an hour to relax before it's time to go have our dinner at Hy's Steakhouse.

That day is honestly the one that has the most moving parts, so we'll have to see how it goes. Oooh, the food option has come up on the Air Alaska app. Now I have to decide what I want for breakfast on the flight. Decisions!

Okay, time for me to go forth and get myself together. Everyone have a Fantabulous day!

It's Wednesday! We're halfway through the week! I am a little less sleepy today, which is nice. I've not quite made up my sleep debt yet from the last couple of nights, but it's definitely better.

Work yesterday was quite busy, but I'll admit, I loafed a little bit in my tiredness. A, the head of the call center, was having a bad day, so I was talking to her a good chunk of it. That woman needs a vacation in the worst way. It's just been a bear of a month for her. New health diagnosis, the phones have been psycho, we're switching our telephone systems tomorrow, and then the whole thing with the Bethesda office has been a fucking mess. I'm trying to talk her into taking a week off and go sit somewhere on a beach, or in the mountains and just relax and dissconnect. She's a great boss, so I'd hate to lose her to burnout. I still did some other work, but mostly I was trying to convince her to put her own oxygen mask on first. I will definitely be texting her pictures of vacation in an attempt to help relax her while I'm gone.

After work, I promptly gagged on a pill and felt nauseous the rest of the night. It was not fun. I have soup and plain chicken skewers for breakfast, as I just couldn't take more than a spoonful of soup. Feeling much better today. As with all my new digestive foibles, I'm blaming them on Mounjaro.

Today, I shall do work, and then cook dinner. I've been looking forward to the halibut for days, so I'm definitely going to cook it tonight before it goes off. Then, I shall nap again.

Tomorrow, we get our new telephony system. It's a VOIP, so they're insisting that all our connections are wired. This is going to mean running a ton of ethernet cable from the kitchen to the living room. I guess that'll get done tonight as well, so I'm up and running tomorrow morning. I'm fairly sure that this rollout is going to be a shitshow, but we'll see. We're the 4th rollout, so we'll see if they've learned from their errors. Supposedly they did figure out how to trigger pop ups with patient information, so that's something. The customer puts in their phone # and DOB, and as it works now, the system cross references the two, and will throw up a pop up with their info, that we then will verify. When the pt is new, or mistypes their info, we'll get a blank pop up. Those are the times when you're really praying that the caller doesn't have a thick accent. When they do, I spend a lot of time praying for a name I know how to spell. Shah, Nguyen,Patel, Li, Sanchez please. And if it's not, please let them be pleasant. I know how much it sucks to have to spell your name repeatedly every time, but work with me here. After that, I'm sure I'll be exhausted, so we'll see if I fix anything for dinner.

Tomorrow will be exactly 14 days til vacation. And Saturday, we might get our boarding passes! It's very exciting. It's still surreal. It's been so long since we had a proper vacation that ut feels unreal. There's a great song in the Lost Boys Musical called "skip to the good part," and that's where I am with vacation. I want to skip ahead to the vacation and get to do all the things I've been planning since last April. We have so many adventures to go on, and I want all of them.

I saw a video of some whales returning to Alaska for the season, which made me happy. We may not see hummpbacks, but the killer whales are back, and I'm more excited about them. I have seen Shamu, in his tiny pool, but I want to see one wild and free. And I want to take the White Pass train up into the mountains and see all the amazing scenery. And I want to walk Creek Street and maybe visit a historic brothel. I want to buy ALL the souvenirs. My bag is definitely going to be overweight, though. I might need to invest in a second carry on suitcase to keep it under weight. Or use the one we have. We'll see. I kind of want one of the cool ones that have a fold up cup holder. Then I'd be able to pack one of my coats in there and save me some weight. The limit is 50lbs and I'm already at 43, so there could be more wiggle room.

We have laundry service on the boat, but the bags are very tiny, so I want to bring at least 6-7 days of clothing, plus cold weather gear. I will do some looking and see what I can find. The one we have is an Amazon Basic, and it is indeed very basic.

Might be time to get rid of what we had. I'm sure that one of the thrift shops would take it. They were great when we were driving to Disney, less so when we're flying. We'll see what we end up with. I also could then pack our emergency meds in the carry out. My standard meds will be in my personal item, but I ordered an emergency pack from a company called Jase. For a fee, they'll make up a personalized kit of medication for travel. It's various antibiotics, anti nausea, antifungal and cortisone cream to cover any medical emergency. Since cruise medical care is ridiculously expensive, it's a little peace of mind that I'm covered if my tooth starts acting up again, or if anyone has any problems. I was going to put it in my checked bag, but if I take a roller bag, I'll probably put it in there.

I'll see what the options are for something that will get to me before we leave.

I've downloaded SO many books for the flight. I have the RSS feed of Smart Bitches, Trashy Books on my dreamwidth, so I get a ton of recs for books that are on sale, or even on kindle unlimited. I was trying to wait to read any of them, but I started one called Dreadful that seems pretty good so far. I've got books by both Ursula Vernon and John Scalzi, so that'll be good. And for Jess, I think the new Murderbot book comes out on 5/5. I've already preordered that for them. Something to read on the flights if you can't sleep.

The flights are the part I'm not looking forward to. 3 hours in the BWI terminal, plus another 6 hours in the air, assuming everything is on time. When we land, it'll already be 1pm our time, but only 10am in PST.

The first day is going to be a lot. We'll be getting up by 2:30am and not laying down til nearly midnight our time. We're all going to be falling asleep in our steak dinner.

One of the people from the Facebook group reached out to me about doing dinner the Friday before we get on the cruise, so we might be doing an early dinner with them before going to the movies. We'll see how organized we can get in 2 weeks. He's really nice, so I'd be okay with that. When I mentioned going with my spouse, referring to them as they/them, he reached out to let me know that Holland America does Pride meet ups, usually on the first night of the cruise. He's traveling with people from his softball team.

I'm really looking forward to both Pike Place Market and the Granville Island Public Market. It looks like they have some cool stuff and good food. Mostly good food.

Okay, time to go forth and get ready for work. Everyone have an absolutely outstanding Wednesday!

Day 3 of some sleep issues. I feel like the Mounjaro is slowing down my digestive tract more than the Rybelsus did. I'm finding that I'm getting full quicker and also staying full longer, which means that if I ignore it and keep eating, I feel uncomfortable longer. I'm learning, but it's not easy to catch that full feeling before it tips over. Especially for dinner, when the ADHD meds have worn off, and I tend to be more checked out of how I'm feeling. Yay mild dissociation!

Today shall be another busy day, and afterwards, I shall make the halibut that hadn't quite defrosted last night. I'm still debating on seasoning.

This morning, I checked the countdown app, and it rudely informed me that the trip is in 2 weeeks, 2 days. WTF? How did it come up so fast! I know I've been obsessively checking the app and had watched that number dropping, but somehow 16 days sounds so soon. And now I'm wondering how I will get through the next two weeks until we can run away. I know I'm going to be losing my mind by Wednesday. That day of work is going to feel like it takes forever. I need to look at my big suitcase and see if there's anything that needs to be added or subtracted. I think subtracted is probably the case. I might have a few too many pairs of leggings and what not. And maybe I don't need as many dresses. I will think upon it. I apparently do not have to take an empty Sharps container for my fingerstick lancets and my Mounjaro needles, the cruise line will provide that, so that's aother corner of my luggage that will be open. We'll see what else I need to take. I think I need to put a couple of night gowns in the bag still. I'll figure it out soon. I think the jackets take up the most room, but they're also vital with Alaska's May weather. I need to get busy on making him food for the 12 days Yoda be in the boarding place. Not to mention for when he goes next week for 5 days.

Why yes, I am having one of many minor panic attacks this trip has caused. Why do you ask? It's starting to sink in that in just over 2 weeks, I'll be on my way to the airport to start an adventure I started planning over a year ago. After all the videos, and work, it's almost here.

I'm going to fly 2335 miles to the other side of the country, and then drive another 200 miles to Vancouver, and then another 1900 nautical miles. That's a lot of distance covered. And then back home to Baltimore. I can't wait, but I'm also nervous. Having trouble turning off the part of my anxiety that is telling me that something is going to go wrong, but I know that's just brain weasels.

It's going to be an amazing bucket list trip, and things are going to go well. All the little moving parts will work, and we'll be peeping the Pacific Ocean in no time. In another couple of days, we should have boarding passes that can be printed out. That'll be a definite milestone, and I will tuck them into my carryon to be doled out when we reach the cruise port. The BIL is not good with technology, and since I don't know what the port wifi is like, it seems better to have a hard copy just in case.

I know objectively that I am as prepared as I can be, and that if I left right now, I'd have everything except my nightgowns, but anxiety is gonna anxiety. Plus, I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself. I want things to go smoothly. I want my well organized plan to work exactly how I imagined.

In other news the Animate!Phillly convention just added a new guest--one of the voice actors from the Amaing Digital Circuis. This means that there's still hope that they add someone else Jess really wants to meet. I'm holding my breath for Michael Kovach who voices their favorite character, Jax. That would be awesome. A picture of Jess holding their Jax plushie with the dude who plays Jax.

I'm debating getting a picture with the person they just added. They play Ragatha, who is a stuffed Raggedy Ann style doll with a tendency towards anxiety and overthinking and people pleasing. "I don't like you, but I want you to like me, is that weird?" Just at me next time.

Today, I shall relax after work and throw on the Halibut and have a nice dinner. Still waffling about the seasoning. Do I do the one with a bit of spice, or go mild. I'll think on it.

I've been looking at the Marchen campaign, seeing what I need to have ready for our next game on 5/2. I've got the maps for the first few places they're going to be going to, so I think I'm covered for that. I do need to make some characters that they might meet in case they end up having combat, but aside from that, I think I'm good for at least the next session. Might need a couple of other things for our game on the boat, but that's still a whole 19 days away. And honestly, we might not even get to it. The whole setup for this game is roleplay heav, so things may take longer than expected. I'm excited to play D&D on a cruise ship. It should be awesome, as long as the wifi is up to the task. The first session went so well that I want it to continue to behave.

Okay, time for me to get myself in order for the day. Everyone have a fantastic Tuesday!

Today's subject line is courtesy of the lovely

dine 's daily post, which reminded me how much I like this song. My body decided that 3am was an appropriate wake up call, which no, body. It is not. I'm still working off the sleep debt from the NYC trip on Saturday, so 3 is pushing it. Oh well, I'll deal.

It's going to be psychotically busy today at work, though it's been psychotically busy every day lately. There's just no breaks to the calls. It's just back to back calls the moment you log in.
We need ore people, but the higher ups just think we need more efficient people, and won't give us any more people. Hell, they wouldn't even backfill my job, which is why I get to spend part time on the phones. I'll admit, as I'm settling into the job, I'm doing less and less time on the phone, especially in the later part of the week where we'll have slightly less call volume.

I have to decide what I want to have for dinner tonight. I'm considering the halibut, but I need to decice what to put on it. I have a great tasting blackening seasoning, but it might be a litlte spicy for me. I'll think upon it. Probably will be the fish and maybe some baked potatoes in olive oil and seasonings. I've got some great Hawaiian blends from Kaulua Seasoning Companywho I know I've mentioned before. We got more seasonings to try. Some of it is rather spicy, but some of them are just really flavorful. But I'm leaning towards just sprinkling the blackening seasoning lightly on one corner for me, because I think Jess and my sister would enjoy it. Or there's a lemon fisherman's seasoning that might be even better. The halibut might be too delicate for the other.

Yesterday was a good day. We picked up the dog from daycare, and he was SO excited. He barked and yelled at us for a while. It was very sweet. He came home and was a little clingy for 0.5 seconds, and then he sighed and flopped on the couch and fell asleep. It was great. He was so very tired.

Then, we had a couple of hours to relax before we had to get ready for game. First up, was my slightly delayed Mounjaro shot, which continues to burn like a sonofabitch. I think the new dose started working immediately, because I got full much faster and with more finality, and then I stayed full for a long time. I'm going to have to watch what I shove in on the boat, because otherwise, I will feel like ass if I overindulge.

As per usual for an early game day, I put in the order for some dumplings to come at Biobreak. I was vibrating before game, just so eager and nervous to start the new session. Finally it was showtime, and we started. It went really well, despite not all of my players feeling their best, but it was a lot of fun. My players bought into the characters and the world, and we had an awesome time. Everyone was generous and let each player have the spotlight, and they have such awesome characters!

We have Hollie, a rogue whose children were recently kidnapped, and she is trying to find them. There's Dalton, a paladin who did bad shit in the past, and now is a pacifist. We've got Rowan, who is an unpredictable shifter, and we've got Nix, who is a total sociopathic pied piper bard. It's going to be fun bringing the party together and seeing what changes will occur as they find family and friendship. (The answer may be that they murder each other, but we'll see!) This session was mostly set up. I did the same thing I did for Crooked Moon, where I gave each character an introductory vignette, which worked really well. I had them send me music that would represent their character, and played that softly as they were introduced and had their little set up scenes. I felt like it gave the player a chance to get into the character's headspace, but it also introduces the other players to that character, so they could buy into them and the game. By the time we got to introducing the characters to each other, everyone was just full into it. Even the player who wasn't feeling up to snuff perked up and was able to somewhat forget about it for a few hours. I think it's going to be a really fun campaign. I have no idea how they're going to react to some of those side quests. The players were still in the discord chat talking about the characters and the game 4 hours after it was finished, so I'm guessing it went okay.

After that, I was so tired that I laid down for a couple of hours to nap. It wasn't 100% sucessful. I mostly dozed and had nightnaresm but I at least got a little rest. I dreagged my ask out of my bed long eough to sit for a couple of hours and nibble some appetizers for dinner, then went back to bed, took sleepy pills and crashed out for a nice sleep. Kind of a short sleep, but it happens.

17 days to vacation. The cruise app has begun to add things to the daily program, and soon the boarding passes will drop (at around 2 weeks, but I check every morning.) This weekend, I need to look through my bags, and just verify that I have everything. I believe I need to add either my orange dress, or the orange cardigan to the bag for Orange Night on the ship. Being that Holland America is not shockingly of Dutch heritage, they have a night each cruise to celebrate that heritage wiht Dutch food and orange clothes and Dutch flags. It should be super fun, whatever night they end up doing it. I think I have everything else in there. I need to find room for our sound machine, and my pills, and whatever orange thing I want to take. There's a couple of other dresses that I kind of want to take, but I'm going to be good and not put my suitcase over 50 lbs.

I confirmed with the car that's picking us up on during our Saturday NYC trip before they dropped us off. So we are all set for a 3:30-4am pickup on 5/7. And then, it shall be off towards Seattle.

I'm looking forward to and nervous about our first day in Seattle/Vancouver. We're getting up at probably about 2 am to leave at 3:30am. Then, we shall fly to Seattle, and thanks to the time difference will be landing at about 10am Pacific time. For us, it'll be 8 hours later. Hopefully, I can sleep on the flight. After that, our car service will whisk us away to the Space Needle and Pike Plade Market, and possibly a nice park to get pictures of the skyline. Then, it's off to Vancouver, arriving in around 5:30-6. After that, we have reservations at Hy's Steakhouse for our celebratory "Yay vacation" dinner. By the time we get back to the hotel, it'll be roughly 9am, or midnight our time, making it a 22 hour day for us. That seems like I a lot.

The next day shall be all sightseeing in Vancouver. The hop on, hop off bus will whisk us through the area up til 5pm. After that, we shall split up and go to our respective dinners. Ours shall be an AYCE Koreak BBQ. I don't know what theirs shall be. There was talk about a seafod and chop house.

Then, we shall see Mortal Kombat II and have fun. And then we shall get on the boat the next afternoon.

IT's getting so close. It seemed so long when I put the deposit down. Over a year ago. And i've watched the clock slowly count down and here we are.

Okay, time to get myself woken up and prepared for the day. Everyone have an outstanding Monday!

It's Sunday and in an hour or so, we can go get Yoda home! I'm very excited about this, because the house has been too quiet. It seems like he's done really well looking at the little report cards that they've generated for him and the pictures. Mostly it seems like he's been pestering the staff for love. They take hin outside, and he explores a bit and does his business, and then he'll just go sit with the staff for love. The pictures have been great, and it has relaxed my mind about Alaska. He goes next week for 5 days, from Sunday to Friday, and then it'll be the main event.

After he flunked out of the other doggy daycare, and it was such a shitshow with the pet sitter, I was worried that we wouldn't be able to find anything. But this is good. He seems to be having fun, and they understand a small anxious dog. They've let him guide them every step of the way, and I'm loving it. I feel so much better about leaving him to go on vacation. He's even eating all his food for them!

After we get him and have some major cuddle time, we will play our first game of Marchen. I'm nervous as always when I'm starting a new game, but I think I'm ready, and the players are so enthusiastic that it's going to carry me along if I'm not. One of my other players, who we went out with yesterday gave me a huge compliment. She said I always seem prepared for game, or I'm very good at faking it, because she never feels like I'm winging it." Since half my DM style is "review the book 15 minutes before game," that's really awesome. I always feel like I'm scrambling, but I like it that way. I live for the improv.

Yesterday was awesome, but I am so sore today. I'm not used to that much activity and socializing. We got up early and got ready for the day. I dressed kind of cute in one of my new skorts, and a soft t-shirt, and Jess put on one of their new dressy tops. The car showed up at about 9:30am and soon we were on our way. The drive to Philly wasn't bad until we were in Philly proper, and we got Chaneen without any problems. Of course, once we hit NYC, the traffic slowed way the fuck down.

We were getting close to show time, so we had the driver let us off a little distance from the theater and walked rather than sitting in bumper to bumper traffic. We got there about 15 minutes early, and found our (very good) seats pretty quickly. The Palace is a nice, slightly older seater. This mean wider seats, which was very good for us.

The show started on time, and was awesome! They had some banger musical numbers, and the two leads who played Michael and David were amazing. I'm happy to report that they not only didn't remove the gay subtext, they punched it up so much that at one point, I looked at Jess and whispered "This is the gayest thing I've ever seen." Seriously, David had the hots for Michael in a big way. And they made Sam queer as well. Special mention to the dude who played David. He more than lived up to Keifer Sutherland's performance. He had a great, deeper, resonant voice that drew you in. And even he had a little character arc about wanting to belong and have a family.

The show was much more about that then the movie was. Family, found and blood, and the need to belong to something and to find your place. Also, the song Wild remained a banger, though it's been joined with Lose Yourself and Have to Have you as favorites as well. They kept the comedy of the movie to some degree, with skateboarding Draculas and the the Frog Brothers. Also awesome, at intermission I went and got some merch and a drink. Normally I just get water, but they had slushies, so I asked for cherry. "With or without alcohol?" Well, I wasn't driving, so I got it with a shot of vodka. It was great, and I am making plans to go to Seven 11 and get a slushie. First, I need to hit a liquor store and get some vodka. Jess suggested vanilla vodka, and that sounded amazing.

All in all, super fun and I highly recommend it. Lost Boys is definitely worth a look if it ever goes on tour.

After the show let out, we went to Langan's for dinner. They had excellent food. The starter was a pile of Ricotta with honey and spices and little crostini to put it on. It was really tasty, and I enjoyed it a lot. I also had French Onion which was pretty good. Entree was the fish and chips for me. Very tasty, especially with some malt vinegar. Jess got short rib pappardelle pasta, which was amazing. We both have leftovers for lunch today. Then afterwards, we hiked to Junior's to get some carry out cheesecake, which will probably be breakfast. After that, our driver picked us up, and we headed home.

We dragged in around 11:30pm, and I crashed immediately. Not sure why my body insisted that 5:30am was a great time to wake up. As mentioned today I'm very sore, but I'm sure it'll improve with ibuprofen and a little relaxation. This afternoon, I should make more of Yoda's food, but we'll see how I feel. If not, I'll make some tomorrow while I work.

It doesn't take much work, but I do need to wash out the pan, which is difficult, since it's an enormous enameled cast iron pot. Last time, I made enough for 11 packets, which I think is probably the limitation of the size of the pan. I need to make at least that every couple of days until trip so we'll have enough food for the 12 days that he'll be in the kennel. Not to mention the five days next week. I need to get cracking.

Or, I may just become one with the couch after game, I haven't decided. Dinner is definitely going to be carryout or delivery. I am far too tired to worry about food. It's supposed to be rainy this morning to early afternoon.

18 days to vacation! Soon we will be getting up obscenely early to get on a plane that will be winging us towards Seattle.

It still feels a little unreal, but soon we shall be on our way, and then maybe it'll sink in. But now that the dog is settled, it feels a little more solid. Like it's going to actually happen. Soon I shall be on a ship where my every whim is catered to.

Okay, time to get myself together to go get a puppy. Everyone have a stellar Sunday!

It's Saturday and I managed to sleep a whole hour later than my normal alarm. I guess that's good? It still means I'm up at 5:30am. I'm going to be tired when we get in at 10:30 tonight. It'll be a long day for me. An awesome, fun day, but also a long one.

I'm actually glad that I'm up about 4 hours before we leave. That gives me time to have coffee early so I probably will not have to make our poor driver hit a dozen rest stops on the way. He's due to get here between 9-9:15am, and then we shall go pick up our friend Chaneen, and then. off to Broadway. We should get there around 1pm and the matinee starts at 2pm. We're going to see The Lost Boys Musical, which looks super cool from the bits I've seen on TikTok. The music is definitely solid from the songs I've heard. Once that finishes, it's dinner at Langan's and a short walk around the corner to Junior's Cheesecakes to get a few slices for carry out. Then, the car will pick us up, and we'll be heading home.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. We took Yoda to the Kennel/daycare to be boarded for two nights. I swear, this place is SO nice. We took a blanket for him and his food. (Not that I expect him to eat much.). At 11 and 5:30, they upload report cards and pictures. His first set of pictures had him loving all over the kennel worker, just shoving his head in her hand for attention like he does to us. That made me feel good. The report card was very complimentary, that he'd had a good morning and enjoyed lounging in the sun and getting cuddles. The second one, at 5 was a dude, and Yoda can he iffy with dudes. But he talked about taking him on a walk, and that they had a good cuddle once he took him on a walk and got acquainted, because "You have to earn Yoda's trust." I nearly cried at that one, because they understand what he needs. I'll be waiting eagerly for his updates today. I'm also looking forward to picking him up early in the morning tomorrow. The house is too quiet without him around.

. There he is getting pets and being a total little love pig.

Work was busy, but not horrible. I got a fair number of people in for their appts. But then I had a 2 hour slot that I just could not give away. I called like 6 patients and no one freaking wanted it. Hey, I did what I could! We had our weekly meeting/bitchfest. I still feel like I'm a bit of the outsider, but it's getting better. I made some suggestions, which were well received, so that was nice. Mostly it's just fun to rubberneck on it. Not much of it is directly relatable to my job, but since they've had me working the Help Chat now and then, it's good that I know it.

After work, we watched the 7th and 8th episodes of Amazing Digital Circus, which were fun. Now I have to wait til June for the final episode in the theater. They're going to re-show the 8th episode and then the hour-long 9th episode. Excited!

Since we didn't have to worry about leaving the dog alone, we went out to dinner to Kung Fu 12 and had some amazing Szechuan food. The waitress recommended the beef filled Scallion pancakes, which were so good. We also had pan fried pork dumplings and crystal shrimp dumplings. For entree I had Mu Shu Pork and Jess had Taiwanese 3 cup chicken. My sister got the Orange Beef, and everything was excellent. I ate til I was stuffed, and enjoyed every bite. Even the Jasmine tea was good. We have so many leftovers, because the portion sizes were huge. I do need to get some plum or hoisin sauce for my leftover Mu Shu.

Despite being full to the brim, we made a stop at Rita's Italian Ice and got Jess and my sister some rainbow sprinkled custard and me a cotten candy ice. I could only eat a bit of it, but it was so good.

Then it was home to relax and eat our Rita's and then bed. Amazingly, the Jasmine tea did not mess up my sleep cycle, whoohoo!

Tomorrow, we shall fetch a dog who will probably be a bit barky and clingy. Then, we shall start our new Marchen campaign. I've sourced some of the maps, though I still have a lot to go. I've at least got maps for the first couple of sessions, so that's a start. It's definitely straining my map-sourcing abilities. Though I do have a couple of Wizard tower maps that will serve as Baba Yaga's hut, and I'm good on woodland clearings. I need to source some castle maps though I could probably make those if need be, as there's a modular map maker that just came out of beta. Hopefully it's a lot of fun, and grabs the players as hard as Arvandor did.

I told Jess yesterday that I felt like if something had happened after the Arvandor finale, and I had never been able to play D&D again, I would have felt satisfied. It was such a fun module, and the players were so engaged and the role play was so good that it just scratched that D&D itch so well.

I'm hoping to craft an ending for Frostmaiden that'll be just as satisfying.

T-minus 19 days until we leave for vacation. Things have started to show up in the daily program. Not everything, but we're getting there! I can't believe we're getting so close. That's just bonkers. I'm running through all my prep and our plans, just to make sure nothing has slipped through the cracks.

I confirmed with both limo companies for our rides, they assure me that we're good. I've confirmed our dinner reservations on Thursday and Friday nights. I'm looking forward both to Hy's Steakhouse and Dae Bok Bok Bon Ga Korean BBQ. I'm checking Holland America every morning to see if the boarding passes have dropped, but nothing yet. I just want to print them out to have them ready. From what everyone has said, the wifi in the port terminal is spotty, so it's best to have paper rather than relying on being able to pull it up at check in. Both pre and post cruise hotels are confirmed.

I'm really curious to see how the Pinnacle Suite is going to work out on the ship. I know the perks on paper, but it'll be interesting to see how we're treated. The info that I've gotten says that we'll have our pictures distributed to the staff of the ship so that they can recognize us on site, and we'll get extra attention. I want to see how that works in practice.

As I've said before, I know I want to talk to the Concierge right away and set up our pastry and coffee delivery for the mornings. Oh, also, we get free mimosas, so we'll order them as well. Might as well! I'm not a huge drinker, but I do plan to have some alcoholic beverages on board. Though they also have some amazing sounding mocktails that I'll indulge in. We have the drink package, so I can get up to 12 drinks per day. That's a little excessive, but once you factor in specialty coffees and mocktails and a drink or two, it'll add up. I don't think I'll make it to 12 every day, but we'll see.

I'm really looking forward to our tours of Seattle and Vancouver, and also to our port stops in Juneau, Ketchikan and Skagway. I think it's going to be a lot of fun, and I hope we're not too early in the season to see some wildlife, especially some whales and dolphins. I would like to see a killer whale in the wild. I've seen them at Seaworld, and they were just sad, so I'd like to see them wild and free and stalking seals. If we see a humpback that would be amazing, but again, we're a little early in the season, so we'll see. I'm also hoping to see a few bald eagles and ravens in Juneau. We're probably too early for bears, but you never know.

Mostly, I just want it to be a fun, relaxing trip. I did drop my other class, so I won't have to work on vacation. I'll restart school in July when we don't have so much shit going on, and I'm not still adjusting to a new job that has been stripping any brain power or post work motivation to study.

Oh, yesterday I got the cutest pleated skort from Snag tights. They also have amazing tights and pantyhose in a variety of sizes, which fit really well and are awesome as well as chub rub undershorts to wear with dresses. They're not cheap, but the products are really well made and understand what fat people need. I'm planning to wear one to the theater today. It'll be somewhat diminished by my tennis shoes and socks, but it'll look cute anyway.

Okay, time for me to take a quick shower, and get ready to go. Everyone have a wonderful Saturday!

It's Friday! I'm trying to wake up enough to pack Yoda's bag for his visit to the doggy daycare/kennel. I'm dropping him off at 7, and we'll pick him in the morning on Sunday. I've got every finger and toe crossed that it goes well. We're taking a blankie that we've all slept with, so he'll have comforting smells, and I'll pack his food, and maybe a few treats and then I'll send him for his first sleepover. I'm a little nervous, but after his daycare experience went very well, I'm feeling a little more confident.

It's going to be weird to not have him to work around for a whole two days. No one barking at you because they want your to go lay on the bed and submit to being snuggled. No dog to walk. Though to be fair, my knee's been so pissy that it's all been on Jess. They are amazing and have done so much.

Once that's done, I'm going to come home and do work, and afterwards, we'll maybe color my hair, maybe not, we'll see how I feel. We'll definitely watch some videos, as aforementioned dog will not be a nudge while I'm trying to do it.

Yesterday was pretty busy at work. I got to pull a coworker off the phones and show her how to use a particular, somewhat convoluted website we have with our doctor's schedules on it. Some of the breast cancer patients want the same doctor to read their mammogram from year to year, so we have access to what is probably the least user-friendly system possible. I'm pretty good at tech, so I know how to make it sing. The coworker had sent a message about a patient wanting to see a particular doctor, and she couldn't find it, so I sent her back the dates the doctor was there. She asked if I could show her how I found it. So I took initiative and posted in the rad leaders chat that I was going to pull her for a 5 minute Qgenda tutorial if that worked. Once I got the thumbs up, I sent her a message and we had a little meeting where I showed her some of the tips and tricks. Afterwards, I felt very accomplished and worked to get some info on a patient's potentially metal implants, and fit a few more people into slots I had held.

We immediately got two requests for every one I filled, so my work is going to be cut out for me this morning. Hoping for a few cancellations so I can help some people. I've got one who needs a specialized study for a very time sensitive problem, so I'm going to be looking for something for them.

Then, I watched an episode of Amazing Digital Circus (Jess do not thank me again for watching your show.) I continue to enjoy it, and am now down to just two more episodes to finish before the finale comes out in theaters in a month and a half. I have not watched the trailer yet, because I want to watch all the episodes before I do. I know Cinemark is flogging that movie hard. I've gotten no less than four emails since the tickets dropped last week. I know they've sold out a bunch of showings, so I don't know if they've added more.

The trailer for Street Fighter dropped yesterday. Good lord, that movie looks like hot garbage. OF course this means that I'll be in the theater on opening weekend. I'm a sucker for a fun trashy action movie. It's the reason I'm going to see Mortal Kombat II while we're in Vancouver. I must see it opening weekend.

I made Jess watch both trailers, and they agreed that they looked like delightful dogshit, but the entertaining kind. Not like the last few Sony/Marvel movies. Matt Smith was delightful in Morbius, but good lord overall that movie was trash of the not fun kind. I couldn't gett through Kraven or Madame Web. Just wasn't happening.

We were discussing movies on our one server yesterday, and I was stating my love of cheesy action movies. I cited Losers and Pacific Rim as personal faves. Losers just had the best cast, and everyone seemed to be having so much fun. It was like Summer Camp for actors. And Pacific Rim was on it's face a movie about big robots punching kaiju, and it certainly was that, too. But it also was a story about grief and belonging and non toxic masculinity and found family. It's one of my comfort watches. I can listen to Idris Elba cancel the apocalypse any day. Also a great cast. Hellboy 1 & 2 also comes in high in the list, while we're on Guillermo del Toro movies. I love me some Ron Perlman and Doug Jones.

We are below 3 weeks til vacation. I'm just about done packing. I added my coats and my new leggings to the suitcase. Going to have to be super careful about souvenirs, because that fucker is already 42 lbs. I could technically get a 2nd suitcase, but that seems like a giant pain in the ass. But if I need to get a bag to check in Alaska or on the boat, I can. We have two free checked bags, so I can take advantage of that if needed.

I also added a few things to my carryon. I've got a few more things to add that have to wait til closer to our departure, but I've got my clothes and our shipboard luggage tags ready. Some of it has to wait until the last minute like pills and the white noise machine. though I may be able to pack some pills, since I'll get them refilled towards the end of the month. I also have another bathing suit coming, which I'll need to slip in there.

Tomorrow, it's off to the wilds of NYC for the Lost Boys Musical. I'm very excited. I recently have decided that I rather like some musicals, so I'm going to two of them in three months.

Sunday will be for starting a new campaign. I'm more nervous about that than the dog going to be boarded. I just want it to be a good set up to the game. The afternoon shall be about relaxing and recharging for another Manic Monday.

I'm still making the dog's food. At least once or twice a week, I'm dumping a bunch of meat into a pot and boiling it into a nice broth. Then the meat comes out, veggies and rice are added, and then the meat goes back in, having been divested of bones. Yesterday I made Goat and chicken with sweet potatoes and brown rice. It may have been the most successful yet. He gobbled it down. IT made 11 packets, enough for 5 days. If I make more on Sunday, maybe I can add another 10 or so to the total. If I keep doing it every 2-3 days, by May 6, I should have a stockpile to hand to the nice people at the kennel to keep him in the style he's accustomed to. I'm definitely keeping the Halal butcher in business feeing him. But I do love my little vaccum food sealer. I need to start using it when I get meat, so I can label it. A lot of times, it just comes in tied up plastic bags, with no labels, so it can be challenging to figure out what the meat is. That's how he got goat and chicken last night. I thought it was all chicken, oh well. He was happy, my kitchen/office smelled horrible. I am not a huge fan of goat or organ meat from any type of animal. But Yoda loves it, so I suck it up. I make it, then Jess helps me bag it and put labels on it, so we know what it is. They have much better handwriting than I do.

I suppose I shall go forth and get Yoda's food together for him. He probably won't eat this morning, because he doesn't like to eat until about 10, when he'll already be in daycare. I'll see if they can give him a snack. Everyone have an outstanding Friday!

Happy Thursday, y'all. We're sliding towards the weekend! It's going to be a busy one for us, but I wouldn't trade it.

For some reason my knee is still hella pissed off at me. I think I must have stepped wrong somehow and tweaked it. It's better than yesterday, and def better than it was Tuesday night, but it's annoying. I did get a cane to take with us to NYC on Saturday and also to take on vacation, just in case. It's bright blue and matches my fanny pack.

Yesterday was a quiet day, yet I was still tired out. I did most of my day either on the phone or calling patients to fill in slots, up til 12. At 12, J asked if I could take over the teams help chat for an hour from 1-2pm since one of the other PAS III's were out. Sure no problem. I manned the chat for an hour after my lunch, and had a few weird questions, but none that I couldn't handle. Once I hopped off, five minutes later, J asked if I could go back on so that Jason could work on RADSETS (scheduling errors). Sure, why not? Not two minutes later, I have a coworker arguing with me about an answer I gave. I was very good, and did not reach through the screen to smack her.

Mostly it was fine. The chat varies between dead and three questions at once, so it's alternately boring and stressful. I kind of enjoy it. It tests my knowledge of weird esoteric topics. Usually it's "How long should these MRIs take?" or "Can we do these tests together." But once in a while it's things like "Breastfeeding after an MRI, can the pt do it?" (Yes, you can.)

Today, I think the 3rd of the III's is back, so I'll probably have a much easier and quieter day. Now that I've said that, I've probably jinxed myself.

Last night, Jess was telling me that there's a convention in Vegas in a couple of weeks that the voice actors from both Hazbin Hotel and the Amazing Digital Circus are attending. I don't think we can manage that, but I did some research, and there's one in Philadelphia in October that has almost the entire Hazbin cast. They're still adding people, so hopefully they get a few Amazing Digital Circus people.

I immediately ordered two passes, plus photo ops with the guys who play Alastor and Vox, and one with the people who play the Vs. That means meeting Christian Borle who plays Vox twice. What a hardship. I'll keep an eye on the con site in case they add more people that Jess would want to meet. I want to as well, but y'know, I want Jess to have a blast. They deserve nice things.

So, the weekend of October 2nd, we'll be heading up to Philly. We'll see if we're able to do dinner with friends while we're there. It'll be another day that I have to take off, but that's okay. Totally worth it.

This weekend is going to be so much fun! On Friday we need to drop the dog off for his big overnight visit. It'll be quiet in the house for a couple of days. But, at least on Saturday, we won't be there. We'll be heading up to NYC to go see the Lost Boys Musical. The car should pick us up about 9:30am, and then we'll go up and pick a friend up in Philly, then off to New York. After the musical, we're going to dinner at Langan's, which is directly down the block from the theater. I'm profoundly grateful that past me decided to do the car service, so that I won't have a ton of walking on my janky knee. Even with the cane that could be tough. I have to decide what to wear. To dress up a little bit or go in leggings and a t-shirt? It's a matinee, so I don't need to dress up that much, but maybe a skirt or dressy pants and a nice-ish shirt. It's supposed to be 62 in NYC on Saturday, so that will be nice. Cloudy, but that's fine.

Sunday, we shall pick up a puppy and get barked at. Then, we shall have the inaugural game of Marchen. I'm super looking forward to getting this started and taking it out for a spin. I think it's going to be a fun world to play in, and I hope my players enjoy it as much playing as I have writing it.

We are down to T-Minus 3 weeks until vacation. I'm tidying up the various details and making sure that I have everything locked down. In another week, we should get our boarding passes, and the choice of what we want for breakfast on the plane. I've been watching all the videos about Pike Place Market and Granville Public Market. There's so many things I want to eat, and so little time. The nice thing is that we will have from noon onwards on the day the ship docks to go play in Seattle, so if we miss something, we can do back on the last full day of vacation. Granville, there's no do-overs, but they have less vendors.

The first night in Vancouver, we're going to a steakhouse with all four of us. The second night, we're splitting up. Jess and I are going for Korean BBQ and a movie, and I think my sister and BIL are going to a seafood bistro. It looks very good.

I've started packing. I should have everything but the stuff that can't go in til the morning of ready by the end of the week. Yesterday, my short sleeved tops came, also with more leggings. Tomorrow, I may start packing Jess's suitcase, just to have something to do. As time goes on, I'm getting more and more excited. I think I have one or two more things to come in, but after that, I'll be done. I hate this part. It's so close, but I've planned out everything, and there's nothing more to do. I'm not particularly patient, so waiting is very hard.

We've got so many things coming up that I feel like it's an embarrassment of riches. And I keep adding more things to it! Right now, I think the only months there isn't something planned is August and Sept. But that's made up for with two things in June and October. That overnight bag is going to get a serious workout. I think December is still clear, though.

Jess feels a little bad about torpedoing so many weekends for games, but I'm okay with it. For 5 years, we've barely had a weekend we couldn't play. Now that we're able to, I want to grab every bit of life we had to pause because of taking care of Dad. I saw a reel that said "Gen X is taking vacations like it's our job, because we saw so many Boomers who never made it there." I feel that on a deep level.

Aside from overnight or two night trips, we haven't been anywhere in 3 years, which was the Disney trip. And we felt guilty about that, since Dad was just back from the rehab and not doing well. In retrospect, that was the beginning of his down slope. After that round of Covid, he never fully bounced back. That was 100% on him. If he'd worked in that first rehab, maybe he would have lasted longer. As it was, his primary care physician said that the only reason he lasted another 2 years was because we broke ourselves to keep him as healthy as possible. And he's not kidding. We broke ourselves mentally, emotionally, physically and financially to keep him going. And he did almost nothing during that time to help himself. He wouldn't keep up with physical therapy, he didn't want to get up, even while he was physically able. He ordered us around like servants, and criticized everything we fed him. Honestly, it's amazing that none of us smothered him with a pillow.

And we were worried about leaving my sister with Yoda, but now we have an alternative! Yoda can board and we can go wherever. No worrying about my sister on the stairs with a small pulling dog. No wondering how he's doing. I'll just get daily pictures and report cards. And, we're able to just up and go if we want to. It's a lovely feeling.

Okay, time to go forth and get ready for work. Everyone have a lovely Thursday!

It's Wednesday and now the week should slow down and stop being so damn busy. I'd appreciate that.

I spent a good bit of Tuesday trying to reschedule people, because things were amess. I did not fistfight my coworker though, which was an accomplishment. We've got a lot of patients on the STAT list who need longer MRIs. Like complete spines or specialized views of extremities. So when I saw an opening for the next day for two hours, I grabbed it. As I was grabbing, a patient call dropped, and I just put a generic "Hold for add on" and my initials. I was finishing up with the patient, and Josh started calling with updates on Bethesda's STAT policy, so I took that. It was maybe 5 minutes for the pt call and 13 min for the meeting. I came back and this chick had scheduled two appts in my hold, then removed the hold so that it looked like there never had been one. The first appt, she had nominal permission from one of the other III's. But there was a lovely hour held in the morning that she could have used. I don't think the other III looked at the schedule, or she would have had her schedule then, and not in my 2 hour 3T spot. I was so pissed. My grand 2 hour appt shrunk to a useless hour in the span of 15 minutes. And the second patient she slipped in there was not a STAT at all. I was so pissed, but I only bitched about it to A.

After that, I tried to get some slots, but no one wanted to pick up their phone, so it was a futile attempt.

I do hope that I can get this one patient this morning to maybe help out another patient, even I can't clear a big spot.

I spent a fair amount of time on the phone with Oncology, trying to help them with our patients. There's one scheduler who is a total bitch to most of the team, tries to bully them into making spaces for our patients. She's fine with me, so I called her back only to find out that because she didn't schedule with the coworker and then see what we could do, information got lost, and so the spot I had wasn't good for the pt, due to metal in her body. Oh well, I added that info to her STAT request and I'll see what I can do. I did let her know that it's better to schedule to avoid stuff like that, so hopefully, she'll listen. She likes me, since I'm the one who calls with appointments.

After work, we watched another episode of the Amazing Digital Circus, which was fun. I wasn't sure after watching the first episode, but it turns out that I really enjoy it. The 2,3 & 4th episodes have a lot more emotional resonance, and they're a lot of fun. Jess has struck again on their string of getting me into new things! They weren't sure I'd like it, but they tried and I appreciate that. If you decide to try it, at least give it two or three episodes to see if you like it.

Then it was off to get my hair cut. It's nice and buzed on the sides, with only a little bit of gray hair. Then, the top it a bit longer, giving me that good Pete Wentz haircut from 2005. I like it. My hairdresser is possibly moving to the Netherlands in the future, which would make me happy for them, as they are trans, but also sad for me. I did set Jess up an appt on Tuesday to get their hair cut pre cruise.

Today should be must less annoying, though. I'm going to go in, hopefully shift a few patients, and have a nice relaxing day. I may re-dye my hair, with Jess' help after work. I'm only going to color the top part with the longer hair. I like my sides and back being gray, with the shock of purple at the top. Then I shall cook dinner. (the lobster from the Farmer's Market, and some perogies.) We got little dishes with three compartments for fondue and hot pot, and I'll use those to put a little bit of butter, a little bit of sour cream and then some sauerkraut for the peroigies. It's kind of a "Whatever is in the fridge" type of meal, but I'm sure it'll be delicious. I'm looking forward to the fresh caught lobster tail. It looks lovely. Plus it's an easy meal.

My knee (the good one) is acting up. Two days ago the other was giving me some mild discomfort, but the right one must have decided that the left wasn't giving me enough pain, because whew. It's really sore, and it took an extra relaxing peppermint to get it to chill out enough to sleep. It was not great. Today It's still sore. I did do the intelligent thing and get myself a cane for vacation, just in case I need it, which I might. Especially walking long distances.

I've got four packages coming today. One is a set of doggie stairs to make it easier for Yoda to get on our bed, and the others are things that we needed for the trip. I checked my bag with what I packed so far, and I'm at 34lbs. I've only need to pack a few more things, so I will probably make weight on the flight two, but once I start getting stuff in port, no guarantee I won't have overweight luggage on the way back, or need to get another suitcase to spread it between. We shall see how it goes. I'll definitely have room in this suitcase. It's not even 2/3 full, probably just over half. I got some more leggings in, so I'll be finishing packing those. I had already packed the fleece leggings, but I did not have enough to pack the short sleeve. Of course those are supposed to come in on Friday, so I might wait to pack until then. After that, I'll be packed for the vacation, just 22 days early.

I bought a couple of more tickets yesterday, including the Vancouver Tower, which is Vancouver's answer to the Space Needle. And I got the hop on hop off trolley tickets, so we're good on those. I think I'm going to get the BIL a ticket to see the Seattle Mariner's play on the 16th when we get off the boat. We should be getting into Seattle around 1pm, so he'd have plenty of time to make a 4pm game, and it was something he mentioned wanting to do. Ticketmaster is down at the moment, so I'll see when it comes back up.

We're at T-minus 22 days til we get up at an ungodly hour for our flight. At least on the way back our flight's at 10, so we can sleep slightly longer. I'm going to be a total border collie about things. I did book dinner for the BIL and Sister for the night we're going for Korean BBQ and seeing Mortal Kombat, so they're sorted. They're going to Joe Fortes Seafood and Chop House which will hopefully life up to the reputation. I think I've mentioned before that the BIL can be a pain when it relates to food, as he's very much a meat and potatoes kind of guy. Once we get on the ship, it'll be fine. They have steak pretty much every night, so he'll be happy. Plus there's the buffet that has plenty of American staples.

I personally am going to be trying new things, and stretching my palate. The nice thing about the dining room is that you can order more than one dish. So I can order two appetizers if they both appeal, or two dinners. Or two desserts. It's not like I'd do it every night, but it's nice to know that if I can't choose, there's options.

We have two nights that we'll be eating in speciality restaurants. One is the Pinnacle Grill, which is their steakhouse. The whole family will be eating there. Then, there's a pop up night where the Asian restaurant turns into Morimoto at Sea, which we'll be going to while the BIL goes to the casino.

In port, I'm looking forward to having fish and chips made with freshly caught halibut. Possibly some King Crab legs. We'll see on that one, since there's a little food truck enclave near that location, and I love me some food trucks.

We'll have plenty of time to get something in Juneau and Skagway, but I'm not sure we'll be up to eating anything after the crab feast in Ketchikan.

I really can't wait to get this moving.

First, in three days, we have the Lost Boys musical, which should be super fun. We've got a car picking us up at 9:30am, then we'll head up to Philadelphia to pick up our friend. Then onto NYC, and the play. Then dinner at Langans for dinner, then home with a brief stop in Philly to drop off our friend. We'll probably get home around 10, but since the dog is going to be at the kennel, we won't have to come sneaking in. We'll pick him up on Sunday morning and see how he made out on his two nights. Then, he goes back on April 27th to stay til May 2nd. He'll have the weekend at home, and then on 5/6, he'll be going back for an 12 night stay. Here's hoping it all goes well. I do need to go out and get some cash for tip for our driver.

Okay, time for me to hop off and do some studying. Everyone have a stellar Wednesday!

I'm pretty sure I've posted this before, but just in case:

Watch on YouTube

This is one of those songs I cam always listen to. I'm not a huge fan of most of his stuff, but this particular song hits me in the sweet spot.

Happy Tuesday! We survived Monday! Good lord, yesterday seemed to drag unmercifully. It felt like the afternoon alone was at least 8 hours. I was jumping back and forth from phone to working on other shit and the back to the phone. It made for a long day. Then, of course, I also got word at about 1:45 that Boodle's ashes were ready for pick up.

I cried again. God, I miss that baby so much. After the very long day ended, Jess and I went up to get her. And then I cried some more at her tiny footprint, and the very small box. She was a little cat, but the box is so tiny, barely bigger than my fist. How can all that personality fit in such a small box?

I wish I had realized that she was sick sooner. The outcome would probably have been the same, but if I had known that it was the last year, I would have given her nonstop churus, and held her more. (Though to be fair, she wasn't a huge fan, and would have made me bleed my own blood.

I think I've cried more for her than I did for both my parents, which is kind of fucked up. Then again, aside from her tendency to wake me up at 3 am for food by clawing the blankets around my face, frequently hitting my face and leaving scratches, she never did anything to hurt me. My mother's legacy is one of neglect and outright emotional abuse, and the last two years with my father were brutal. But still, I feel a little bad that I couldn't grieve as hard as I am for this little cat.

We had sushi for dinner, because I was a bit of a wreck. We tried a new place and it was excellent. The fish was delicious and fresh and they gave us an extra roll on the house. It was called a Salad Roll, and it had everything that I like in it. It was avocado, kani, tempura shrimp with a seaweed salad topping. I'm normally not a huge fan of seaweed salad, but this was really good. I think that and the other roll we'd never tried, a Caterpillar roll were my favorites. Not that the usual suspects were bad, those just were really good.

We watched another couple of videos on Pike Place market, and I've think I've narrowed down the places I must got to. So far I've got 6 of them. First up is Mee Sum for their pork and their Beef Curry Hom Bow, which are liked baked fluffy buns with the meat inside. Next is Beecher's famous mac and cheese. Piroshky Piroshky looks like it has some interesting and tasty buns, including a salmon pate that I know my sister will be all over. Pike Place Chowder sells seared scallop chowder and I must have. I fucking love scallops. We'll probably also get a cup of "the best clam chowder in the world," at Pike. Place Chowder. After all that, we'll need a ginger beer from Rachel's Ginger Beer. And then last, just for Jess, we're going to hit the crumpet shop for a cup of tea and some crumpets. We're going to probably get there right around lunch rush, so we'll see how many of then we can get before we have to leave. I figure if we use 2 hours of our 4 hour tour there, I'm good with it. There was a park the limo recommended, but if we don't make it there, it's okay. I think it was mostly a photo op to get pictures with the skyline anyway.

I need to watch a couple of more videos on Granville Market in Vancouver, so I'll be ready. Right now the front runner for lunch is Celine's Fish. I'm a sucker for a good fish and chips, but that could change. And there's a few other places I want to get snacks from. Like the famous maple salmon. I'll give that a try. And maybe a donut from Lee's and a pot pie from the pie man. Go big or go home, right. I need to do that early enough that by 5pm we're ready for Korean BBQ at Dae Bok Bon Ga. Then we shall go to see Mortal Kombat.

Now that we're under a month, I believe that I can order tickets for the hop on hop off bus in Vancouver to make things easier. Otherwise, we're going to spend a ton on Ubers with the four of us. Okay, trolley tickets have been purchased. They weren't super cheap, but that's okay. It'll last us for the day.

I'm a little worried about how well I'll sleep this vacation. Normally at night, I take my Ambien plus 10mg of THC via the relaxing peppermint tablets. Obviously I can't take weed on the airplane or on the cruise ship, so this could be fun. I'll be taking my anti anxiety meds, so hopefully between the two I'll manage. I'm definitely going to be more active than usual, so hopefully that translates to better sleep.

I got a few more of my things for vacation, so I'll be doing some more packing one day this week. I'll probably wait til Friday as I think that's when the last bunch of stuff comes in, and we might aftually be caught up on laundry by the. I had an enormous pile of clothes on the floof by my side of the bed and I sorted through them on Saturday. It appears that the areas we're going are going in Alaska are going to be a high around 50 degrees F, so we're going to need some cold weather gear. I got another jacket, which is a North Face fleece that I think will be very helpful, and also a fleece lined rain coat. Hopefully, they'll be sufficient. I might need both on the whale watching trip, but I'm okay with that. I also got gloves and a hat just in case. At least the whale watching boat does have a heated cabin if we get too cold.

I think that's all I'm taking. I might stuff a lightweight fleece in my carry on for Seattle and Vancouver, just in case we need something light, but they're hovering around 60 degrees, so I think we'll be okay.

I need to pack a few more pairs of leggings, underwear, my shoes, binoculars and emergency antibiotic stash and some short sleeve t-shirts for on the boat. I may also take one of my tank tops with a shelf bra and some shorts for knocking around in the suite.

We're down to 23 days. I need to find someone to pick up our mail and packages, so I'm looking online and not finding a lot. I just posted to Reddit, so hopefully someone will bite. It's literally bringing in the mail and watering my two sad little plants, and maybe making sure that the apartment is still standing.

Aside from that, it's just getting Yoda acclimated to boarding and then we'll be golden. I can't believe it's really happening. In another 9 days, we'll be able to print our boarding passes for the boat, and it'll be time to choose our breakfast for the flight. Maybe it'll sink in then. Or maybe it'll be as we cross the Rocky Mountai dns, or touch down in Seattle. Maybe it'll be real when we go up in the Space Needle?

Or maybe it'll be like Disney where the whole trip felt like a fever dream. We shall see.

We get back late on Sunday and will go fetch our puppy on Monday morning and have the day to love all over him and tell him how awesome he is.

Today should be a quieter day. The calls won't be stacked as badly and hopefully I'll get some work done. I know I have a 1 on 1 this morning, just a check in, I think. Then after work, I go to get my hair cut. On Wednesday, I shall dye my hair. I'm trying to decide between cooking the lobster tails on my break or right after I get off work. I'll have about 40 min between when I finish and when I need to leave, so that is entirely doable. Though I hate to cook everyone else's early. They're really best when they first come out. Maybe I'll just wait to cook them til I get home, and have dinner be a touch late. That sounds like a better option. It rarely takes more than 20 minutes to do my hair, so I'd be home at 6, and could just cook them then. I'll have Jess turn on the oven at 5:50pm.

Okay, time to do some studying. Everyone have an amazing Tuesday!

And somehow, just like that, the weekend is over. I didn't get much done at all. I still have all my schoolwork to do, because I just couldn't bring myself to crack a book. I will have to get cracking today.

I did end up going to the Farmer's Market and got some good food. I was planning to get empanadas, but about halfway through, my knee started hurting. Add to that, the bag was getting very heavy. What I did get Was some mini donuts and some pastries. Oh, and Kettle Corn! Of real food, I grabbed some yogurt and orange juice from the dairy stall. A little bit further down was the fish guy, who had Halibut and lobster tails, so I got some of both. I put the halibut in the freezer, and the lobster tails in the fridge to make tonight. They're a super easy dinner. Then, on the way out in leiu of empanadas, I got some dumplings as they were on the route out, and got a very good small dog, who didn't flunk out of daycare a couple of treats. Which he has carried around, but not eaten yet. I got home before anyone else was awake, which was kind of funny, since I left a little sign saying where I was, and no one got to see it!

Not long after I got home, it was game, so I fried up some dumplings and grabbed a couple of mini donuts for game snacks. Game was super fun. I spent it trying to keep Jess' character from dying, successfully, and holding concentration on control water, to push the waterline out to see a bit. The plan was to keep a water elemental where we could beat on it, and allow players to walk right up to it and hit it. I feel like that was a worthwhile use of a higher level spell. It kept non combatants from getting run over and pissed off the elemental. I think it may also have kept him from using some nasty bonus actions, so I was pleased.

We finally finished the game, which is sad, I so enjoyed it. But there will be a sequel once

coyotegestalt finishes writing it, which is awesome. I love the character I play, and besides, Jess and my character just finally stopped flirting and had some kissing action, so that was good. This is the game where I proved that when DM's play they are the worst agents of chaos on the planet.

The dumplings were excellent by the way. I actually fried up the rest on bio break and ate them all. They were a really tasty breakfast. I got the pork and chive, and the crystal shrimp, both of which were really good.

Then, I took my sister to Greek Easter at the in-laws, making sure to tell my brother in law that he had to come in when he brought her home, because we had a surprise for him.

On the way back, I stopped at a taco truck and ordered some food. The 20 minutes they said it would be ended up being more like 40 minutes, and by the time I got done, I had to go so bad.

Food was really good though. I enjoyed my Pollo al Tajadas. It was fried plaintain slices with a fried chicken leg over it and some slaw on top of that. Very tasty, good fried chicken.

Then, I settled in and we watched two episodes of the Amazing Digital Circus on YouTube. I wasn't sure about episode one. I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it either. I'm pleased to say that the second and third episodes were much better, and I am now solidly in the "Like, maybe love" this show category. I'm looking forward to watching more of it, and going to see the final episode in the theaters.

After that, we watched a couple of videos on Seattle's Pike Place Market (which is one of the stops in Seattle on our vacation.) I'm lookins forward to trying some of the tasty things out. I may end up getting some things and putting them in my suitcase, since it appears that I'm going to have some room.

Then the sister got home, I gave the BIL his presents. One was some of the kettle corn, one was his own jar of the Hawaiian seasoning that he kept coming back to ask for more of, the Kailua Seasonings Aloha Smoke Spice, which is amazing on beef or pork.

We watched more videos about both Pike Place Market and Granville Island Market in Vancouver until it was almost time for bed. I found a few places that I'd like to try for breakfast/lunch. I'm hoping to get to Granville in time for a late breakfast or early lunch, since we only have the one day to explore.

This weekend, we have the Lost Boys Musical, which should be super fun. Yoda is going to try the overnight day care. He has a petite suite, so he won't be around any dogs. It's just for two nights, to ease him in. I know they'll take good care of him.

I cannot believe that it's only 24 days until vacation. That just boggles my mind. I still have a few packages to come, but it won't be long at all. I'm nervous about the 6 hour flight, but hopefully it'll go well. Mind you, I'm worried about the long flight for Jess, because I know they're worried about TSA and the lack of boobs, and my BIL, who hasn't flown since he was in the army and is a little anxious. I've at least flown twice in the last two years, so I think I'll be okay, even though I'm a nervous flyer. The lure of seeing the pacific ocean is just too much to stop me. It is a comparatively long flight though. The furthest west I've been is Texas, so this is a big jump from that. I did do an overseas flight, but I was 20.

I just hope everything goes smoothly, and our car service is right there waiting for us when we collect our luggage. And then we can do our stops at the Space Needle and Pike Place and head to our hotel to relax until our dinner reservation at Hy's Steakhouse.

Friday is going to be for sightseeing, and then Saturday we're on the boat. Only 26 days away! And then, Alaska. Now that we've got the dog sorted out, I'm ready to progress to vacation immediately.

The dog will have two visits to the daycare. One this weekend for two nights, and then from April 26-May 3 for a five or six night stay. (That's going to suck, a whole week without a pet to bother.). Then on May 6th, he goes for 11 nights while we're in the Pacific Northwest and Alaska.

I've got a Google Album set up for pictures, which is right here. I'll be posting all the pictures that we take right there if you want to follow along. I'll probably upload new stuff either at night before bed or in the morning when I do my posting.

Okay, time to do some studying, since I didn't do it on the weekend. Everyone have a phenomenal Monday!

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beanside

May 2026

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If I couldn't have cheese like everyday, would you still wanna be with me?
(no subject)
Yesterday I thought that I walked alone and love was just a memory.
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming, or the moment of truth in your lies
Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by it's cover.
It's not a shot in the dark, not up to chance--if you got plans, you'll cancel every question mark
More than power, more than gold, you gave me your heart, now I'm here for your soul
Dies irae -- dies illa Kyrie eleison Yitgadal v' yitkadash
Lay beside me, under wicked skys, through black of day, dark of night, we share this, paralyzed
You'll be brighter, britghter than the heavens in the skies above.
I've begged god for the remedy, but I'm no longer sure. I should have known not to give in...
Stunning 8K-resolution meditation app. In honor of the revolution, it's half-off at the Gap
I wish that I could cry, fall upon my knees.. Find a way to lie about a home I'll bever see.
Thou shall not fall. Thou shall not kill
Illusion never changed into something real. I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Anytime it hurts play another verse, I can be your sanctuary
And I'm talkin to myself at night because I can't forget.
Another lover underneath those flashin' lights, another one of those ruthless nights
Been finding it hard to be kind since I've been lost out there losing my mind.
All those things I didn't say, wrecking balls inside my brain, I will scream them loud tonight

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Page generated May. 23rd, 2026 09:29 am

And then, there's a bearded fetus.

Which is an awesome name for a punk band, if you think about it.

Recent Entries

If I couldn't have cheese like everyday, would you still wanna be with me?

(no subject)

Yesterday I thought that I walked alone and love was just a memory.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming, or the moment of truth in your lies

Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by it's cover.

It's not a shot in the dark, not up to chance--if you got plans, you'll cancel every question mark

More than power, more than gold, you gave me your heart, now I'm here for your soul

Dies irae -- dies illa Kyrie eleison Yitgadal v' yitkadash

Lay beside me, under wicked skys, through black of day, dark of night, we share this, paralyzed

You'll be brighter, britghter than the heavens in the skies above.

I've begged god for the remedy, but I'm no longer sure. I should have known not to give in...

Stunning 8K-resolution meditation app. In honor of the revolution, it's half-off at the Gap

I wish that I could cry, fall upon my knees.. Find a way to lie about a home I'll bever see.

Thou shall not fall. Thou shall not kill

Illusion never changed into something real. I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn

Anytime it hurts play another verse, I can be your sanctuary

And I'm talkin to myself at night because I can't forget.

Another lover underneath those flashin' lights, another one of those ruthless nights

Been finding it hard to be kind since I've been lost out there losing my mind.

All those things I didn't say, wrecking balls inside my brain, I will scream them loud tonight