The transcript for Podcast 693. Holiday Wishes I with Susie, Elizabeth, Alanna has been posted!
This podcast transcript was handcrafted with meticulous skill by Garlic Knitter. Many thanks.
This podcast transcript was handcrafted with meticulous skill by Garlic Knitter. Many thanks.

There's really no such thing as a "typical" wedding cake anymore.
So today, we're going to give in to our dark sides a little.
We have to start with classic black, right?
(By Hey There Cupcake, California)
Stunning, hand-painted black.
Of course, there are a lot of dark choices beyond black. How about this gorgeous teal number?
(By Have+Some+Cake, United Kingdom)
The rich color, offset tier, and hand-painting really put this one over the top.
Or maybe you'd prefer a forest that isn't at all forbidding.
(By Immaculate Confections, United Kingdom)
In fact, I'd call it enchanting.
This red cake was inspired by Melisandre, the Red Priestess from "Game of Thrones."
(By Candytuft Cakes, Ireland)
It doesn't need to cast a glamour to be beautiful. Wow.
Then there are the times you just want to burst onto the scene and yell, "Ta da!"
(By Kuchen Diva, Switzerland)
Ta da!
The "origami" is edible wafer paper. So clever.
This purple cake isn't exactly a shrinking violet:
(By Dolce Lusso Cakes, United Kingdom)
Those are handmade sugar orchids; I like how the gold leaf really makes them pop.
And look at all the different textures on this stunner:
(By Foxtail Bakeshop, Oregon)
Quick. Somebody knit me this cake!
The baker went for a crumpled metal effect on this steampunk-inspired cake, very funky cool:
(By Sylwia Sobiegraj The Cake Designer, Ireland)
Plus it took me a second to realize only two of the roses are sculpted; the middle one is hand-painted.
Proving yet again that steampunk doesn't have to be brown!
Not that there's anything wrong with brown, of course...
(By Cove Cake Design, Ireland)
Mmm. Do you think that's chocolate? I think it's chocolate. Does anyone have a fork so I can check? And maybe some milk?
But I digress...
Let's end with a splash of deep, dark color:
(By The Cocoa Cakery, Canada)
I think I'm in love.
These cakes certainly prove there's no reason to be afraid of the dark.
Isn't that Sweet?
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:

The latest bestseller list is brought to you by mashed potatoes, mid-afternoon naps, and our affiliate sales data.
I hope your weekend reading was comforting!

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The Shots You Take by Rachel Reid is $1.99! This m/m hockey romance released earlier this year. Did any of you pick it up?
A sweet and sexy hockey romance about two ex-teammates and former best friends with benefits who are about to discover whether you can ever really have a second chance, from the USA TODAY bestselling author of Heated Rivalry and The Long Game.
After moving back to his hometown ten years ago, Riley Tuck thought he had left his major league hockey career—and his broken heart—far behind. But when an unexpected tragedy strikes, it brings ex-teammate and former best friend with benefits Adam Sheppard back into his life.
Coming to the small town of Avery River, Nova Scotia, might have been a mistake. Adam’s not sure he’ll ever win back Riley’s trust after the way they left things—and the attention he’s getting as a huge hockey star isn’t exactly helping. Yet the chemistry that crackles between them is undeniable, even now.
As Adam helps Riley navigate his grief, long-buried feelings start to resurface. But they’ll have to square off with their complicated past if they’re going to have a real shot at a new beginning.
Tangled Up in You by Christina Lauren is $2.99! This is book four in the Meant to Be Disney retellings series. I believe I’ve heard this one has some slightly darker elements than what you’d think, specifically about the heroine’s upbringing.
She has a dream. He has a plan. Together they’ll take a leap of faith.
Ren has never held an iPhone, googled the answer to a question, or followed a crush on social media. What she has done: read a book or two, or three (okay, hundreds). Taught herself to paint. Built a working wind power system from scratch. But for all the books she’s read, Ren has never found one that’s taught a woman raised on a homestead and off the grid for most of her twenty-two years how to live in the real world. So when she finally achieves her lifelong dream of attending Corona College, it feels like her life is finally beginning.
Fitz has the rest of his life mapped out: graduate from Corona at the top of his class, get his criminal record wiped clean, and pass himself off as the rich, handsome player everyone thinks he is. He’s a few months short from checking off step one of his plans when Ren Gylden, with her cascading blonde hair and encyclopedic brain, crashes into his life, and for the first time Fitz’s plan is in jeopardy.
But a simple assignment in their immunology seminar changes the course of both their lives, and suddenly they’re thrown out of the frying pan and into the fire on a road trip that will lead them in the most unexpected directions. Out on the open road, the world somehow shifts, and the unlikely pair realize that, maybe, the key to the dreams they’ve both been chasing have been sitting next to them the whole time.
Bombshell by Sarah MacLean is $1.99! This is the first book in the Hell’s Belles series. There are a couple more MacLean books on sale. Elyse gave this one a B-:
Objectively I can look at this book and say that some readers may have an issue with how much time spent on the girl-gang scenes versus the romance, but also ONE OF THEM SPECIALIZES IN EXPLOSIONS. I think part of this imbalance is to set up the rest of the series, but the gang’s quest for justice was very heisty and fun.
New York Times bestselling author Sarah MacLean returns with a blazingly sexy, unapologetically feminist new series, Hell’s Belles, beginning with a bold, bombshell of a heroine, able to dispose of a scoundrel—or seduce one—in a single night.
After years of living as London’s brightest scandal, Lady Sesily Talbot has embraced the reputation and the freedom that comes with the title. No one looks twice when she lures a gentleman into the dark gardens beyond a Mayfair ballroom…and no one realizes those trysts are not what they seem.
No one, that is, but Caleb Calhoun, who has spent years trying not to notice his best friend’s beautiful, brash, brilliant sister. If you ask him, he’s been a saint about it, considering the way she looks at him…and the way she talks to him…and the way she’d felt in his arms during their one ill-advised kiss.
Except someone has to keep Sesily from tumbling into trouble during her dangerous late-night escapades, and maybe close proximity is exactly what Caleb needs to get this infuriating, outrageous woman out of his system. But now Caleb is the one in trouble, because he’s fast realizing that Sesily isn’t for forgetting…she’s forever. And forever isn’t something he can risk.
The Villain Edit by Laurie Devore is $1.99! I can’t determine if this is more chick lit/book with strong romantic elements or an actual contemporary romance. If you’ve read this, let us know in the comments!
Emily Henry meets Fleabag…and The Bachelor! An irresistibly sharp and sexy dramedy about a cynical romance novelist who goes on a reality show to revive her career, only to discover that while she may have just met the love of her life, the producers have turned her into the show’s villain.
“The perfect beach read…a real page-turner. Don’t be surprised if you finish it in one day!”–In Touch Magazine
“Fun and frothy… endlessly entertaining.”–Glamour
Good villains make good TV.
Romance novelist Jacqueline Matthis’s big career has gone bust and she’s ditched the bright lights of New York City for her more affordable South Carolina hometown. Desperate, Jac dreams up a comeback plan—she is going to be a contestant on the 1, the most obsessively watched reality dating show in the world.
After all Jac is a romance writer—she knows how to pull off a meet-cute and create a spicy plotline.
On set, Jac quickly establishes herself as a front-runner for bachelor Marcus’s heart, but she’s shocked to discover who’s actually pulling the strings. How was she to know that Henry Foster, her last one-night stand before the show, was actually a longtime producer on the 1? Henry is just as horrified…but they can’t seem to keep their hands off each other.
As Jac plays the game and the show unfurls, she slowly discovers that she’s getting the villain edit. They say there’s no such thing as bad publicity, but as Jac’s secret plan begins crumbling around her, she’s not so sure. What happens if Marcus chooses her? Worse, what happens if her affair with Henry comes to light? What if, in trying to save her career, Jac has ruined her life?
Heartbreaking, smart, and sexy, this novel is for anyone who has ever secretly rooted for—or felt like—the villain.
“THE VILLAIN EDIT is perfect for people who, like me, love mess. I devoured it in one sitting and was left with a total book hangover—it’s the ideal combination of propulsive psychological thrill and delicious romantic tension.”–Olivie Blake, New York Times bestselling author of The Atlas Six
Ahhh, turkey cake wrecks. The bane-yet-blessing of my bloggy existence.
::pause::
Wanna see some more?
If there were a Vegas review starring hot dogs and/or Twinkies...uh...dangit, now I kind of wish that actually existed. Somebody get on that, will you?
The irony, it runs deep.
(For extra lolz, just imagine the little feet wiggling.)
I'm sure you've seen ads for those turkey ice cream cakes. You know, these ones?
Well, expectation, meet reality:
(Once you start seeing this as a greased pig stuck in a rabbit hole, it's pretty much all you CAN see.)
And finally, I've seen my share of disturbing turkey cakes, believe me. (BELIEVE ME.) And yet, I think this really could be the MOST disturbing turkey cake I have ever seen.
[blinking]
Turkey cake is people!
TURKEY CAKE IS PEOPLE!!
Thanks to wreckporters Beth J., Nicki B., Rebecca W., & Courtney for "working" on a holiday. Extra leftovers for you, guys!
*****
Here's a new game - at least to me - that's getting rave reviews for family game time:
Beat That! The Bonkers Battle Of Wacky Challenges
Beat That comes with a huge assortment of physical game challenges, from bouncing balls into cups to picking up dice with a pair of chopsticks, and you bet with tokens on which challenges you think you can beat inside the time limit. Looks like fast-paced, silly fun. I'm thinking of bringing it to Thanksgiving this year, to break up the post-turkey sleepy time, heh.
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:
I have a special holiday offering this year: Smart Bitches limited edition candles!
I partnered with Wax Cabin Candle Company, an independent small chandlery, to offer two limited edition candles just for the holiday season!
They are on sale now, Friday November 28, through early January, and you can buy one or both in a gift set.
I might have had a good time with Photoshop while working on this project.
I worked really hard on making sure the scents were mellow and pleasant. I was going for ‘warm and elegant,’ and I think I hit it. Many thanks to Jen from Wax Cabin for being so patient with me.
The Smart Bitches 20th Anniversary candle is an 11 ounce hand poured soy candle with notes of sea salt, book pages, sandalwood and jasmine.
The Bad Decisions Book Club candle, also 11 ounces, is designed to be the perfect pairing for late night reading, with scents of sweet tobacco, book pages, leather, rose, and sandalwood. I had a marvelous time picking out the scents.
I was worried the scent wasn’t strong enough when I took them out of the box, but once lit they give a warm and soothing scent that isn’t overpowering.
Each candle is $28, or $50 for both in a gift set, with free shipping on orders over $70. The candles are hand-poured with 100% soy wax, and each is in a glass jar that you can reuse or refill. They should burn between 60 and 70 hours.
(Why Decadent? It’s only the most famous, and most NSFW work review ever written. SRSLY NSFW!)
So if you’re looking for the perfect gift for yourself or the book lovers in your life, the 2025 Smart Bitches Candle Collection will be available now through early January.
You can shop small, support the site, and spread light and warmth this year.
Happy holidays everyone!
Ready for more wishes and recs? And bad jokes? I bet you are! This week we’re talking with Agnes, Emily, Sarah Jane, and Jenn – and Min the cat.
And in the outro, you’ll hear from ShoesforAll, aka Sarah.
And! Important announcement 1: thanks to your Patreon pledges, we have reached our goal with the F’ICE campaign, and all dynamic ads will be turned off permanently for everyone who listens. Thank you so much!
Important announcement 2: the Smart Bitches Candle Collection is LIVE! I partnered with Wax Cabin Candle Company, an independent small chandlery, to offer two limited edition candles just for the holiday season!
They are on sale now, Friday November 28, through early January, and you can buy one or both in a gift set!
The Smart Bitches 20th Anniversary candle is an 11 ounce hand poured soy candle with notes of sea salt, book pages, sandalwood and jasmine.
The Bad Decisions Book Club candle, also 11 ounces, is designed to be the perfect pairing for late night reading, with scents of sweet tobacco, book pages, leather, rose, and sandalwood. I had a marvelous time picking out the scents.
So if you’re looking for the perfect gift for yourself or the book lovers in your life, check out the 2025 Smart Bitches Candle collection. You can shop small, support the site, and spread light and warmth this year.
Listen to the podcast →
We also mentioned:
And of course, here is a picture of Min the cat, who recommends pets and crashing podcast recordings with too much fabulousness.

The orange juice box of love, empty headed garbage boy Min.
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Thanks for listening!

RECOMMENDED: That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon by Kimberly Lemming is $2.99 and a KDD! Carrie reviewed this one and gave it a B:
This book was perfect entertainment for my stressed out brain, and I was definitely rooting for those two wacky kids to have their HEA.
Spice trader Cinnamon’s quiet life is turned upside down when she ends up on a quest with a fiery demon, in this irreverently quirky rom-com fantasy that is sweet, steamy, and funny as hell.
All she wanted to do was live her life in peace—maybe get a cat, expand the family spice farm. Really, anything that didn’t involve going on an adventure where an orc might rip her face off. But they say the goddess has favorites, and if so, Cin is clearly not one of them.
After Cin saves the demon Fallon in a wine-drunk stupor, Fallon reveals that all he really wants to do is kill an evil witch enslaving his people. And who can blame him? But now he’s dragging Cinnamon along for the ride whether she likes it or not. On the bright side, at least he keeps burning off his shirt.…
Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers by Jesse Q. Sutanto is $1.99! If you’re on the senior sleuths train, you may already have this one on your radar. For those who have read it, what did you think?
A lonely shopkeeper takes it upon herself to solve a murder in the most peculiar way in this captivating mystery by Jesse Q. Sutanto, bestselling author of Dial A for Aunties.
Vera Wong is a lonely little old lady–ah, lady of a certain age–who lives above her forgotten tea shop in the middle of San Francisco’s Chinatown. Despite living alone, Vera is not needy, oh no. She likes nothing more than sipping on a good cup of Wulong and doing some healthy detective work on the Internet about what her Gen-Z son is up to.
Then one morning, Vera trudges downstairs to find a curious thing–a dead man in the middle of her tea shop. In his outstretched hand, a flash drive. Vera doesn’t know what comes over her, but after calling the cops like any good citizen would, she sort of . . . swipes the flash drive from the body and tucks it safely into the pocket of her apron. Why? Because Vera is sure she would do a better job than the police possibly could, because nobody sniffs out a wrongdoing quite like a suspicious Chinese mother with time on her hands. Vera knows the killer will be back for the flash drive; all she has to do is watch the increasing number of customers at her shop and figure out which one among them is the killer.
What Vera does not expect is to form friendships with her customers and start to care for each and every one of them. As a protective mother hen, will she end up having to give one of her newfound chicks to the police?
RECOMMENDED: The Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi is $2.99! Carrie read this one and gave it a coveted squee grade:
Oh wow, you guys, The Kaiju Preservation Society is an absolute blast – so much so that it provided me with oodles of entertainment and happiness on a recent drive with my husband, my mother, and 2 teens, the latter of which were crammed into the backseat of the car with me. Believe me when I say that there can be no higher tribute to this book than the fact that I did not murder anyone on this trip. Yet.
The Kaiju Preservation Society is John Scalzi’s first standalone adventure since the conclusion of his New York Times bestselling Interdependency trilogy.
When COVID-19 sweeps through New York City, Jamie Gray is stuck as a dead-end driver for food delivery apps. That is, until Jamie makes a delivery to an old acquaintance, Tom, who works at what he calls “an animal rights organization.” Tom’s team needs a last-minute grunt to handle things on their next field visit. Jamie, eager to do anything, immediately signs on.
What Tom doesn’t tell Jamie is that the animals his team cares for are not here on Earth. Not our Earth, at at least. In an alternate dimension, massive dinosaur-like creatures named Kaiju roam a warm and human-free world. They’re the universe’s largest and most dangerous panda and they’re in trouble.
It’s not just the Kaiju Preservation Society that’s found its way to the alternate world. Others have, too–and their carelessness could cause millions back on our Earth to die.
Seven Dukes of Sin: Books 1-3 by Mariah Stone is $1.99! This is a Kindle Daily Deal. Two bucks for three historical romances is a pretty good deal.
Three full-length novels. One great price. Limited time only.
Three Dukes. Three Sins. Three Games You Can’t Resist.
Over 1,000+ pages of sizzling passion, ruthless wagers, and irresistible danger in this exclusive boxset of the first three novels in the Seven Dukes of Sin series.
Book 1 — DUKE OF RATH – Beauty and the Beast meets Marriage of Convenience
A brooding Duke haunted by guilt. A brilliant woman he swore never to touch. Each act of defiance shatters his control—until she uncovers the secret that could destroy them both.
Book 2 — DUKE OF LUHST – Brother’s Best Friend Romance
London’s most notorious rake. His best friend’s off-limits sister. One scandalous wager ignites a game of seduction neither can win without losing their hearts.
Book 3 — DUKE OF PRYDE – Grumpy Duke meets Sunshine Archaeologist
A cold-hearted Duke. A headstrong bluestocking who despises him. A marriage of necessity that turns into the fight—and passion—of a lifetime.
Enemies-to-lovers tension you can cut with a knife
Forced proximity that sets the pages ablaze
Dark family secrets & shattering revelations
Strong heroines who give as good as they get
Satisfying happily-ever-afters that will melt you
Perfect for fans of Tessa Dare, Lisa Kleypas & Julia Quinn—this steamy Regency romance collection will leave you breathless and begging for the next Duke.
John and I actually had our Thanksgiving dinner with family on Monday, and we had ham instead of turkey, but it was still totally Thanksgiving dinner because we used cloth napkins and the phrases "What's that supposed to mean?" and "No, YOU'RE wrong!" were used. YAY HOLIDAYS.
If that doesn't already make you feel more thankful, then here are twelve wrecks to remind you just how blessed you are to have a phone with Internet access so you can look at goofy cake pictures while your family argues politics. (Yeah, I know you're out there. Welcome!)
"Bad news, sir: the tiny phalluses have us surrounded.
"Also, you're on fire."
It's the original Thanksgiving streaker!
(But what in the name of Stovetop is that "stuffing" made of?)
This bird is here to PUMP... *clap!* ...YOU UP!
"HURRRG! Watch me flex, ya!"
And this:
...is an EX-turkey.
(I can't help it; those stiff little legs crack me up every. single. time. And then I start pining for the fjords...)
Aw, don't cry, little fella! I'm sure all turkey cakes have visible bowels.
Or at least the ones around here, anyway.
This cake doesn't need commentary; it needs a sound effect.
Something like, "BLTTHHHHPPPPPPPPPP. THPP."
As a proud geek girl, I usually use the word "shiny" as a compliment.
Not this time.
Also, that "cake" is butted up against real raw potatoes. You know how I know they're real potatoes? Because they're the only thing on that platter that looks like the thing they're supposed to be.
A lot of people have complained about Christmas decorations creeping in alongside all the Thanksgiving ones this year, but I didn't think it was so bad 'til I saw this:
YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE, GINGERBREAD MAN.
Now for a quick etiquette lesson:
This is why you should always chew with your mouth closed.
And also why you should never confuse your TP with TNT. (Ouch.)
Which reminds me: anyone else think this turkey is mooning us?
Or is that too much of a stretch?
(HEYO!)
So in conclusion, allow me and the Ghost of Turkeys Past here to wish you a very Happy...
..."Itanksgiving."
Or, as most of us know it:
"Gooble Gooble Day."
Thanks to Kimberly H., Craig, Katrina O., Sam K., David G., Michael H., Sara G., Ardin A., Susan F., Deborah B., Travis S., & Carolyn H. for the Thanksgiving thankfulness.
******
P.S. Remember, it's never too early for Christmas decorations... in your beard:
BEARDAMENTS Beard Lights & Baubles
Even if you don't have a beard - or know someone with a beard you could convince to wear these - I highly recommend checking out the customer photo gallery, haha. "RH" in the red shirt has an especially majestic display. :D
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot: