Weight-related Rant ahead.

[beanside]

Be warned, and don't read if you don't want to hear it.

It's kind of funny that poisontaster posted about fandom safe space earlier.

Cause here I am, triggered to all hell, and fighting with myself not to do something phenomenally stupid.

I clicked on some artwork of chubby Jensen, and it was cute. Hey, chubby Jensen was getting love! Awesome! This must be a big bang about chubby Jensen learning to love himself!

Ah. No. A half page of Jensen's family sending him exercise gear (Cause fatties don't exercise, see!), he decides to jog, and ends up passing out (because we all know fatties are going to die of heart disease, right?) and wakes in the hospital. Then, he feels like he should apologize to the orderlies who have to transfer his fat ass to another bed. (it takes THREE! Because, he's a fatty, got it?) That's about when I stopped and had to go in another room and not cry. Oh wait, no, the fatty got sent to fat camp. Where Jared will teach him to be skinny and not to eat everything in sight, and maybe to get off his fat ass. And at the end, when he's had "dramatic" weight loss, and run a marathon (seriously how many skinny people can do that?) then, he gets the sexin with Jared.

Y'know what, fuck that. If that's your thing, cool. But I don't need to read 40k words of hate. Whether that was what the author intended, that's what I see.

I'm fat. I'm very fat. I'm what they call a "death fattie." As in, OMG if you don't lose weight you're gonna die right now!!!!! Obesityheartattackdiabetes, deeeeaaaattthhh.

Y'know who's going to die first? The people who are out there yo-yo dieting because they hate their fat. Why are they yo-yoing? Because all denying yourself calories does is reset your body so that when you gain it back (and you will--results not typical, right) you gain more, and it's harder to take off. If you're fat, and you work out, you're less likely to die than someone who yo-yos.

But...the American Obesity Association says...wait? Who is on the board of the AOA? Weight Watchers? Jenny Craig? The Board of Bariatric Surgeons? Wow. They have a lot to gain by keeping people yo-yoing, don't they?

People. I've got bad news for you. I, in all my 300 pound glory, eat about the same as a skinny person. I get lunch sized portions, and have it for dinner, too. I don't eat a ton of candy, though I don't deny myself it, either. I eat what my body says it wants. And when it's full, I stop.

I'm sick of feeling like I should apologize for living. I'm sick of feeling judged every time I order dessert, or say "Yes, you better fucking well put whipped cream on my frappicino." Fuck it. I will wear sexy clothes if I want. If you don't like it, tough. I will go out in public and I will order what I damned well want. I will not let someone make me feel like less of a person because I'm wearing a tank top, and happy. I'm sorry if you're miserable. I'm not.

I have a wife who loves me (god bless lesbians, btw. a better community of fatty chasers is hard to find) I have a business starting that will make me happy, and hopefully provide for me and my wife. I don't have time for hate.

I am a child of the Morrigan, and I do not suffer fools.

I am a child of the Goddess, and She made me in Her image.

I am a child of the God, and He didn't go for a skinny chick. (I mean, look at the Venus of Wilendorf!!) (which is not to say that he didn't like the skinny chicks, too...my God isn't picky, he just likes the ladies)

I am me, and I am enough.

Comments

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

*cheers!*

You are so damn hot.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

That is totally you!

[wyoluvr.livejournal.com]

Rock the fuck on.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

Thank you! *blush*

[blackhalo72.livejournal.com]

I applaud you and your attitude. I think you're brilliant.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[poisontaster]

\o/

[beanside.livejournal.com]

Heee!

[cdeacon.livejournal.com]

Thank you so, so, so much. After having looked at that story, I desperated needed something like this.

[cdeacon.livejournal.com]

"Desperately," rather. Eeek.

[sinnerforhire.livejournal.com]

YES. THIS.

You rule. Seriously. Because at the end of the day, you know what really matters? YOU. And how YOU feel about YOURSELF. Fuck everybody else. If you're happy and healthy, who cares what anybody else thinks?

Rock on.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*grin* Thank you!

[embroiderama]

You have the best affirmations ever.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*laugh* Thank you, sweetie!

[minaloush.livejournal.com]

I love you.
I am so sick of fat hate. If you think it's bad in spn...it's worse elsewhere

[beanside.livejournal.com]

I'm sure it is. *shudder*

Hee! *points at icon* Penguin go boom.

Thank you!

A Goddess who looks like me

[ixchel55.livejournal.com]

Sing it sister! I passed that chubbyJensen story by because I knew where it was going.

I've never bothered to diet because of people nagging at me. I did have to learn how to eat differently after I was diagnosed diabetic and I've lost some weight but that's not the point. I've had people ask me - how much weight do you want to lose? I tell them that's not the point, that I'm not trying to lose weight, just eat healthier. I have no desire to deprive myself to become skinny. That's your hang-up, not mine.

Unfortunately being 'over-weight' is one of the last things it seems to be OK to discriminate against and make derogatory remarks about. You just keep doing what you do and screw those wrong thinkers who can't keep their bigoted opinions to themselves.

We can take them. We outweigh them!

Re: A Goddess who looks like me

[beanside.livejournal.com]

Exactly!!!

*hug* We'll just sit on them!
I'm glad you're feeling healthier.

[azewewish.livejournal.com]

Okay, just the plot of that story sounds like the most offensive thing ever.

Rock on with your awesome self, baby, and keep on being fabulous and true to yourself!

[beanside.livejournal.com]

Heee! Thank you, sweetie. (and yes, *points at icon* they still are)

[hederahelix.livejournal.com]

If it's the story I'm thinking of, I didn't even read past the description. Because the description alone made my head explode.

It's funny. Just Tuesday night, at my aerobics class, we had another gazelle.

(I call the willowy, skinny, young, nubile young women who come into the class gazelles. I call them gazelles because they seem to look around the room at the variety of body shapes and sizes in the room and assume that since all us round, old women are there, the class must be easy.

Their assumptions are frequently challenged by our routinely kicking their asses while they bail early because they can't handle it.)

Anyway, the thing with gazelles is that they think that because they are young and skinny they will clearly be superior to us. Nevermind that we come every week. Never mind that we've been doing aerobics longer than they've been old enough to drive. Clearly, because we're old and not skinny, we're out of shape.

I take such profound pleasure in watching them bite it in the class while we all sail on through the choreography.

Anyway, my point, via that loooooong tangent is this.

Part of what makes me crazy about such stories is the presumption that fat people are not and could not possibly be fit. I know more than a few people of size who would be ready and willing to disabuse them of that notion.

[siubhlach.livejournal.com]

Yes. Yesyesyesyesyesyesyes.

This comment pretty much sums it up for me.

The vindictive bitch in me takes so much pleasure in regularly and routinely showing up every single one of my thinner friends by being consistently fitter than them. It takes even more pleasure in doing the same thing to strangers (I walk fast; the look of consternation of the faces of young guys when they realise that actually, not only can they not overtake me, they also can't keep up, is a real joy to see). Do not assume that you know anything about me because you can see how big my hips are.

[batdina.livejournal.com]

as one venus of willendorf shaped person to another: thank you for saving me from that story which I hadn't even looked at yet. Better things to do with my time, clearly.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

Yup. *hug*

[frightened.livejournal.com]

Rah! Go you!

I'm not fat, but I'll never be a waif and I am heavy. When my eating disorder was out of control, and I looked sick and bony, BMI said I still had quite a way to go before I was underweight. Currently I'm trying to balance my new-found love of running with an ED flare-up, and desperately trying to exercise (it keeps me relatively sane, you see) in a way that keeps me far, far away from the weight-loss fascists.

The world needs less triggering bullshit in it. And whoever wrote that fic needs such a slap.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to not be judgmental about the author, but it really bothered me. I'm glad you found somekind of exercise you like! I'm trying to find an inexpensive adult trike, because I like biking, but thanks to the spinal issues, my balance has become shit.

*hugs*

[robanybody.livejournal.com]

You are fantastic. ♥

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I miss chatting with you, woman!

You're kinda awesome too.

[apieceofcake.livejournal.com]

Yay for you :-)

Reading the description I couldn't bring myself to read that one.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

I went off a link, sadly. Thank you!

[janissa11.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU. I have probably made my feelings about the whole jubjub bullshit clear in my own journal, and this? Has the potential to do baaaaad things to my blood pressure.

Thank you for speaking out.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*snerk* Yeah.

I'm glad I did, since it seems to have affected other people.

[darling-lisa.livejournal.com]

So I mostly lurk on your LJ for the fic, but reading this I had to come out and say HELLS YEAH! *hugs you*

I saw the story on my flist earlier and I couldn't even begin to think about clicking to read it, now I'm extra glad I didn't.

I too have the death fat, and fuck if I am going to apologize for it. It was a long road to get to the point where I am now, but I love my body, I love what it allows me to do and I say fuck you to all the people who don't see what I do.

I have never met you, but I know that you are sexy and honest and real in a way that some people never will be, and I love you for that. ♥

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*hug* I'm glad you've made it to the body love!! *grin*

Thank you!

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Hi. *waves* Here via a friend who was triggered badly by the same story you're talking about, and I just want to say THANK YOU.

I'm morbidly obese. 400+ pounds of me I haul around every day. I struggle every day with just walking around, because I am so out of shape. I want to be in shape--but there are so many people out there who translate "healthy" and "in shape" as "skinny". I'm never going to be skinny. Hell, I may not make it lower than a size 20something...but if I can move more easily and breathe more easily and sleep some way other than propped upright, I will be thrilled.

If it were only so easy as to just 'not love your fat self' and eat less/exercise more -- there wouldn't be the multitudes of people walking around, morbidly obese. I've not read the story in question -- nor am I going to, now -- because it's NOT just that easy. I know it, I live it, I breathe it. I know that every time my family brings it up "because we worry about you", it makes me want to eat even more.

I'm rambling, and I'm sorry. I really just wanted to say thank you for speaking out. It kind of got away from me *sheepish smile*

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*hug* We'll all get there. *nod* Just so you know, you're awesome, and beautiful.

I've gotten out of shape due to a spinal problem, but I'm going to stop saying "When x happens, I will do____," and try to make do with who I am now. Even if it's walking around Ikea a couple of times a week to start.

[plainjanejones0.livejournal.com]

I already commented on a similiar post but I wanted to say that I do agree with the point you are making here. I think we are all beautiful in our own way.

He didn't go for a skinny chick.

But this is so wrong I don't even know if I'll be able to properly express myself here. It's wrong to throw one group under the bus to discuss the oppression and/or hate of another. But to actually say that God likes them less? That is a truly horrible and offensive statement. It makes me very sad in my heart, and if you believe that you were created in the image of the deity of your choice, then I must have been as well. And I don't think I'm loved by Him or Her any less for being different. We are each of us loved exactly as we are.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

I apologize for triggering you in that statement.

I don't think He or She loves them any less, and I would never say that anyone should have to apologize for being skinny.

The main problem I have is that more of the world (bus/airplane seats, clothes)are geared for an ideal that 2/3rds of the populace don't meet. Skinny people are discriminated against, yes. But I have yet to see someone Kate Moss' size have to pay double for an airline seat. Even if I doubt she'd fit in some of them.

[kimannebb.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Well said and I give you more and more hugs because you're a beautiful woman with a big heart.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thank you, sweetheart! How's you doing?

[deathangelgw.livejournal.com]

amen my sister...amen.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

Thank you! *hug*

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

You are sane, stable, loving and loved. And pretty damn articulate, too. *hugs*

Every time you deal with this issue, you help *me* deal with it, and I thank you.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*grin* Thank you! *hug* you're pretty awesome too!

[jdsgirlbev.livejournal.com]

I'm in the same "death fat" range and my doctors tell me that if I don't lose weight I'm gonna be dead in a year. Huh, odd then that I'm still alive 15 years later. I'm glad you ranted. Go beanside!

[beanside.livejournal.com]

Go you! *hugs* Thank you!

[novascotiasam.livejournal.com]

You did a good thing here, sweetie. You spoke up, and as someone said before me - in a very articulate manner. And you helped a lot of others by doing so.

*hugs you hard*

[beanside.livejournal.com]

Hee. *blush* Thank you!

I think they helped me a lot, too. *nod*

[spae.livejournal.com]

Lovely affirmation! <3

I've always had squidgy bits, even when in the army and superfit. Now I don't exercise at all, I have some seriously much squidgier bits which I feel self-conscious about ... I spend a lot of time worrying I'm not worthy of love - so that sort of fic triggers me helpless. Thanks for sharing your feelings, and having such an awesome wife/flist/support network.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*hug* That's the nice thing about LJ. You have a much bigger support system than you think. *grin*

And you are SO worthy!