Fic: Upon My Liar's Chair 10/?) WIP

[beanside]

Title: Upon My Liar's Chair
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: Thankfully, this didn't happen. I don't know them, I don't know what they do in their spare time, but I doubt it's any of this.
A/N: Much love to my wife for doing the quick once over. Sweet Charity fic, for avid_slacker.
Warning: Character injury, permanent disability.





Jensen focused on Jeff in front of him. He had a vague memory of Jeff shoving spoonfuls of coffee in his mouth, black judging from the aftertaste. And Jeff looked pissed.

John Winchester had nothing on Jeff himself, mostly because Jeff was hardly ever angry.

“Hey. S'up?” He glanced down, noting the comforter that was puddling around his waist. His bare waist. “The hell am I naked on my couch for?”

“That,” Jeff bit off. “Is really not the question you need to ask.”

“Oookay. What do I need to ask.”

“You should ask,” Jeff said softly, “what kind of an idiot would take narcotic painkillers and then drink alcohol. In a hot tub.”

Shit.

“Uh--”

“Are you fucking insane?” Jeff yelled. “Do you know what could have happened?”

“But it didn't,” Jensen said gently, trying to placate the extremely pissed off man looming over him.

“Yes it damn well did! You nearly drowned yourself, you stupid motherfucker! Bisou pulled your head out of the water and held it there until I got there.” Jeff touched the back of his neck.

Pain startled him, and he reached up, feeling the four little puncture marks. Fuck. Okay. He'd screwed up.

“Um.”

“Yeah. Um. I know you're smarter than that, Jensen. I know it. You know it. So what the fuck were you thinking?”

“I wasn't, okay? I saw that you'd brought beer, and I grabbed a couple. I'm not used to having to think about this shit.”

“Not good enough. You had plenty of beer in the fridge. Don't you get it?” Jeff shook him by the shoulders hard enough to make his teeth clack. “You could have died! Were you trying to kill yourself?”

Jensen stared for a long moment, anger welling in his stomach. “No. I wasn't,” he finally bit off. “Now back the fuck off, Jeff.”

“Or what?” Jeff loomed over him, face tight.

“Y'know what? Get out of my fucking house. I've had it with your self righteous bullshit. I'm not a goddamn two year old.”

“No.” Jeff's voice was calm. Deliberate. It threw Jensen.

“What? It's my house,” Jensen said sharply.

“Yeah. And you obviously need a keeper, so no. I'm not going anywhere.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fine. Then you can explain the alcohol and pills in your system to-”

“What, you gonna call the cops? Tell them I'm on my way to becoming another statistic? Hi, meet the next Heath Leger?”

“No. I wouldn't do that to you,” Jeff said, eyes shuttered.

Jensen felt a stab of remorse. Something told him he'd just said one of those things he couldn't take back. “Jeff-”

“But I will call Jared. And Steve. Maybe Christian. And you can explain to them why you were trying to kill yourself.”

Oh god. Jensen could already imagine Jared's face if Jeff told him about this. Fuck.

Jeff nodded. “Good. I see we understand each other.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “By the way, we're having some of the crew over tomorrow with Jared. They all want to say hello. You'll deal with it.”

Jensen's face felt hot. He wasn't sure whether it was anger or shame. “I-”

“I'm going to make dinner now,” Jeff said carefully, voice flat and neutral in a way that Jensen had never heard.

“Jeff, I-” Jensen broke off, not sure what the hell he wanted to say.

Jeff turned back, face neutral. “Yes?”

“Nothing,” Jensen said. “I'm going to go get dressed.”

“Fine. You should know, I put a pill case on your nightstand. It has your daily allotted amount of narcotics. I've hidden the rest.”

Any thoughts he'd had of apologizing flew out the window. “The fuck you did. Give me my pills, Jeff.”

“No. I can't trust that you're not suicidal, or that you won't 'forget' how many you've taken.” Jeff made finger quotes.

“You can't just-”

“I could ask Jared to help you with it.”

“Fuck you. You're not going to blackmail me with this-”

Jeff smiled, and Jensen shuddered. “Actually, I am. And you're going to sit there, shut up, and deal with it.”

Jensen didn't bother replying, just flung the coffee mug at Jeff's head.

Jeff, the fucker, caught it midair, and turned to the kitchen. “Thank you. I'll wash that.”

Comments

[hederahelix.livejournal.com]

You know, the other night I was watching Criminal Minds, and the actor who played the YED was there. Amazingly enough, I was totally unsurprised when the character turned out to be a killer.

Which brings me to Jeff. Ah, Jeff. Jeff. Jeff is so pretty when he's angry. I know I'm supposed to have, oh, I don't know, a nice grown up reaction to this. Say something smart about the dynamics at work, or how insightful it is, but really?

I'm distracted by the coldly pissed off Jeff who plucks a tossed coffe mug from the air.

squeee

In other news, if you're going to write how Jeff responds to this when Jensen doesn't see him--who it is that Jeff goes to for support when the emotional fall out of who Jeff almost lost hits him? Then I'll be a very happy puppy. If not, I have faith, you'll take us somewhere else equally good.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*grin* Pissed off Jeff is hot. No way around it. *grin* Cold, calculating pissed Jeff...mmmm...

Sorry, where was I?

Actually, I think Jeff is going to end up leaning on an unlikely source, but yeah. There'll be fall out.

I promise. *grin*

[ymmy12.livejournal.com]

awesome
jeff is totally rockin!

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*grin* Thank you!

[poisontaster]

*snogs you and rolls around in the fic* I do think that Jensen NEEDS someone to fight with and who will fight with him right now. Like I said, he needs someone to prove to him he's still worth fighting for. *nods*

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*gropes* Thank you, sweetie. You always make me smile.

[apieceofcake.livejournal.com]

Awesome!

[beanside.livejournal.com]

Thanks! *Grin*

[glitterglam13.livejournal.com]

This chapter was just too perfect. I sooo enjoyed Jeff, he's never going to let Jensen live that one down, and he'll use whatever it takes to help him through it, even if Jensen will only go kicking and screaming. You totally made my morning.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*grin* Thank you! Always glad to be of service.

[spinfrog.livejournal.com]

Jeff, the fucker, caught it midair, and turned to the kitchen. “Thank you. I'll wash that.”

Heeee!!! Jeff = good at catching things, see: basketball scholarship *__*

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*nod* Exactly! (and if you think about why he didn't keep the scholarship, you might be onto why he overreacted!)

[embroiderama]

Oh, I love that Jeff's taking some control now, when Jensen really needs the help but can't quite admit it. Also, yeah, angry Jeff is damn hot.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

Heee! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[brynwulf]

Hahahahahaha. I can't stop laughing. Jensen is so outmaneuvered. Jeff has taken his last snotty Jensen remark. YES!

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*snerk* Thank you, sweetie!

[topaz119.livejournal.com]

::pets them both::

Man, when they get around to the make-up sex....

[beanside.livejournal.com]

No kidding! *grin* Thank you!

[ysbail.livejournal.com]

Yes - Jeff you're my hero this chapter, it can't be easy being a hardass when you're worried the person you're in love with might be trying to kill themself. It can't be easy turning yourself into the bad guy ....

And entertaining guests is going to be yet another trial to overcome - I can hardly wait.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*grin* more to come soon! Thank you!

[phantomas.livejournal.com]

hederalix wrote:
"I'm distracted by the coldly pissed off Jeff who plucks a tossed coffe mug from the air."

*raises hand* ME TOO. SO VERY MUCH.

*coughs*bunk, there*coughs*

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*giggle* Glad you liked it!

[paintmydays.livejournal.com]

Amazing. Amazing update. *G*
♥

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*blush* Thank you!

[lomer.livejournal.com]

I love Jeff! And for all that Jensen is insisting he's not a two year old, he's certainly ACTING like one. I'm glad Jeff is able to defuse his tantrum so quickly. Oh and I love that Jared's ignorance is a bartering tool. "If you want Jared to remain ignorant you'll behave." It's nice to know that Jensen respects Jared's opinion so much, that a threat like that is extremely effective.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*nod* Jeff's scared and he's overreacting, but yeah. Jensen's not exactly giving him much to go on right now.

Thank you! I'm glad you liked.

[rynnalyn.livejournal.com]

Yay for proactive!Jeff and scaredofhurtingpuppy!Jensen!

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*grin* I'm glad you liked! Thank you!

[sunset-dark.livejournal.com]

Oooooh! Pissed off Jeff!!! Bring it on Jensen, bet you can't fight that!! lovely update, looking forward to more as always. xx

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*laugh* Thank you!

[tittakv.livejournal.com]

Oh, Jeff playing hardball makes me wanna jump him! :-)

[beanside.livejournal.com]

I think a lot of people feel the same way. *grin* Thank you!

[keyweegirlie.livejournal.com]

Fabulous fabulous part.

*hugs*
-C-

[beanside.livejournal.com]

Thanks! *grin, hugs*

[atypia.livejournal.com]

Jeff smiled, and Jensen shuddered. “Actually, I am. And you're going to sit there, shut up, and deal with it.”

Jensen didn't bother replying, just flung the coffee mug at Jeff's head.

Jeff, the fucker, caught it midair, and turned to the kitchen. “Thank you. I'll wash that.”

*quivers with the sexiness of it all*

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*laugh* I'm glad it worked for you! *grin*

[pekover.livejournal.com]

I'm never sure whether people want constructive criticism or just positive feedback...how about I give both, and you can ignore the criticism if you don't like it? And let me give the positive first, 'cause it's way more significant than the 'constructive' part.

I love these characters, and I love the setup, and I love your writing. The drama is building, and Jeff's sexy as hell, and he obviously cares about Jensen. I'm really enjoying this series.

That said, I'm a bit leary about the interaction between Jen and Jeff in this chapter. I have no idea where you're going (but I'm looking forward to finding out), but in this chapter it feels as if Jeff is taking power away from Jen. Which makes sense, because Jensen hasn't been using his autonomy very constructively, has he? I just think that, if I was in Jensen's chair, I would already be feeling really disempowered and marginalized and helpless. Having someone I had thought I could trust invade my home, refuse to leave, hide my medications and invite other people over for a meal, and then WALK away when I tried to fight with him about it, when I can't walk after him...I think I would feel even more helpless, which might not be the best thing. Maybe you've already thought all this through, and are just gearing up for more angsty conflict, which...Yay! I just don't want Jeff to be a bully. Even if I totally understand that it's coming from a place of worry and affection.

Anyways, I hope it's okay that this was more feedback-y than just pure love - I have the love too, believe me!

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

Here's how I read it: beanside never wrote this as an example of ideal caregiving. Nobody HAS an example of ideal caregiving. Everybody comes into it with their own issues. Yes, Jeff really overreacted here, mostly because of past issues that are coming up in future chapters. Does that excuse it? No. Was he acting like a jerk? Probably. Is he a jerk? No, not as far as I see it.

[2sexyboys.livejournal.com]

I'm am sort of with pekoeoliver here. LOL I loved this and love that Jeff is there for Jen and maybe it is exactly what Jensen needs, but he is still coming to terms with a very dramatic life change, and we know he 'accidentally' drank and medicated in the hot spa..not clever, but an accident all the same. That Jeff is thinking Jensen tried to kill himself, and threatening to tell his friends that and hiding his pills, when we know he didn't do deliberately seems totally uncalled for and treating Jen unreasonably.


Having the crew over and making Jen see them when he hasn't come to terms in his own time...and make feel like he's being wheeled out on show seems a bit cruel. I can see that sort of forced group meeting of not only friends, but fellow workers can only cause a set back.


I am so glad Jeff is there and what he is doing, but Jen has a right to pissed off on what life has dealt him and needs time to come to terms, not being forced into feelings what others think he should be feeling.

Loving this!

[beanside.livejournal.com]

Jeff is reacting a little over the top, but he does have a reason for it. And a pretty good one. The problem with caregiving is that everyone projects their own issues into it. And if you have issues in one particular area, it can cause some serious friction.

*nod*

I do realize that I'm not making Jeff fully sympathetic, and yeah. I meant it that way. Hopefully, the next few chapters will lay some of your worries to rest. *nod* THank you!

[eloise-bright.livejournal.com]

Mm, angry!Jeff. Is kind of hot. *slaps Jensen upside his head*

I love that Jeff caught the coffee cup. That's exactly the kind of scene that NEEDS to be filmed. *g*

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*laugh* Well, the boy did have a basketball scholarship. He's gotta have some hand-eye coordination. *grin*

Thank you!

[avid-slacker.livejournal.com]

I think the most interesting thing is that we, as readers, don't have a whole lot more insight into Jensen's motives than Jeff, even though the chapter leading up to the "accident" was told from Jensen's POV.

We do know that he's struggling with these new circumstances and I think it's possible that Jen could've subconsciously realized the risks he was taking and simply allowed events to unfold. He wouldn't need to be actively suicidal, just less than diligent. I definitely understand why Jeff assumed as much and totally sympathize with his reaction.

Having said that, I also agree with pekoeoliver and 2sexyboys. As a wheelchair bound person, I know that having control over one's own life is a huge issue. In order to compensate for the constant vulnerability that comes from not having freedom of movement I tend to have a pretty serious stranglehold on the other aspects of my life (the lovely endearment "control freak" has been tossed around by those close to me), so I also very much sympathize with Jensen's rage and frustration.

It'll be interesting to see how the two men come to terms, or if they even can.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*nod* Exactly. Jeff is being a bit of a douche, (though I promise, there's a reason for it!) and Jensen's still so angry. It'll be fun to watch the explosion, I hope.

[xenasoul.livejournal.com]

Wow Jeff was one pissed off dude there...
Can´t blame him though.*g*

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*grin* Thank you!

[(Anonymous)]

I love this story an'all there is just one thing that is really bugging me. I work as a physical therapist with people who have spinal injuries and to me Jeff is being a bit of a dick.

Sorry that sounds terrible but if you pluck all control from a person who has very little over anything else your not going to get that far with that person in terms of therapy.

Jeff assumed Jensen was trying to kill himself. Was he? Did Jeff properly ask him and really listen? Seems he's just making and assumption. It seems he's a bit like a superhero coming in and taking over. Thats not really how you work in a situation like that. Jensen will just become more and more frustrated and powerless if it carries on. He can;t walk, can't figure out his career and is still in a lot of pain. What control does he actually have at the moment? Now Jeff is threatening telling his friends he is suicidal and od his pills.

To me Jeff needs to wake up and stop trying to take control and just share it.

[ladykatiewench.livejournal.com]

Hi! *waves* I'm not coming in here to argue with you! Not at all! I just got a different impression and want to share. You can tell me to shut up if you wanna!! (really, I talk too much anyway!)

I can completely see why it would seem like Jeff needs to relax. He did overreact to the situation. Jensen wasn't purposefully trying to hurt himself, he just didn't pay attention to the fact that he's gotta be careful. But I think it's also kinda easy to see why Jeff freaked out. I mean, one of the things the story seems to be working towards (or at least I hope so!) is these two boys having feelings for each other. And I just can't imagine how scared Jeff must've been to come home and think that Jensen is dead or dying. From my point of view, the overreaction on Jeff's part comes from fear, not real anger. He just had to wake Jensen up from a small OD and I'm pretty sure that if I was in that situation, I'd be flipped out as well.

Of course, I could be wrong!! Either way, I'm loving this story and I'm sorry if I offend anyone by answering this. I just found it interesting to see that other side and wanted to chat!

[ladykatiewench.livejournal.com]

Nice!!! I'm loving this so hard! And I love Jeff being so friggin' scared that it just pisses him off. And Jensen has no idea. He doesn't have a clue that Jeff isn't just pissed at him for screwing up a bit. He doesn't understand that Jeff just almost saw him die and can't handle it. *loves*

And that last bit. Tee hee!! Catching the mug! What a way to deal with a tantrum (I understand why Jensen's having them, but I like how Jeff deals).

[ladykatiewench.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I think that Bisou needs some really good treats that night!!

I'm just sayin'!