And then, there's a bearded fetus.

Today, I am tired of everything. I'm sitting here waiting for the Vyvanse to take effect, and I can feel the ever present anxiety and fear easing up as it kicks in. Goddamn, I love this med. The downside is that around 6pm, I can feel it bleeding back in.

I continue to be profoundly disappointed in most of the people in the US.

Work was busy yesterday, so that kept things moving, and then in the evening, I ran a Monster of the Week game for distraction purposes. Tonight, we are game free, then tomorrow, we have Strahd.

They're coming down to the end of Strahd. Maybe one or two more games? Then it will go on hiatus for a couple of months while I prep the new module, and then we shall go forth and do another one with the same characters.

Saturday, Jess has Strixhaven, and Sunday I have my version of Strixhaven. I'm looking forward to it. Class 2 has been waiting a while to start.

2.5 days of work and then I can relax. I did a touch of retail therapy last night, which I shouldn't have done, but is also not going to break the bank. I got our nightstands. I was hella pissed about Bezos' congratulations to the Orange Clown, so I am looking at gettign as much as I can elsewhere. If I could drop Amazon prime completely, I would.

Okay, time for me to go get my pants on and prepare to deal with people. Everyone have a good(ish) day.

Welcome to anxiety central! Today Vyvanse is being put to the test. Can it keep me calm and chill whie we wait for election results? Who knows! My sister wants to talk about the election this morning, and I just cannot deal. We all did mail in ballots, dropped at the ballot box to be sure. After the last election, I had absolutely no interest in going and standing in line.

Last election, we had Trump fans behind us, ignoring social distancing, and when I asked them to give us a little more space, they got nasty. One told me I was obviously a liberal bitch voting for Biden. And we had multiple pickups driving around the parking lot with Trump signs and paraphenalia in the back, blaring Toby Keith and generally feeling like they were trying to intimidate. I mean to be fair, I *was* voting for Biden, but goddamn, it was unpleasant.

Okay, enough about the election. I refuse to talk about it again. Yesterday was very busy at work, I ended up taking 55 calls. Aside from the 8am hour, when it's usually a little quiet, if I was in the queue, I was on a call. It was just constant.

I managed to prove that I know what an MSK MRI is, and when it's applied. I had a pt who had an MRI of the chest, and I correctly identified that it would be MSK ahead of it being protocoled. So go team me.

I had a CONfab meeting last night, so I got to bed later than expected. Not horribly late, but late enough that I am a little sleepy tonight. It seems like there's not a ton of stuff that needs to be done right now. There's a survey that we're going to send out, but aside from that it's pretty quiet til April. So, we're going to have another meeting in January to start getting what we need to do.

Now I shall get myself together ("Together" I'm basically putting on pants) and get ready for work. I'm not sure whether today is going to be busy or dead. I guess we shall see. Everyone have the best day you can have.

Yesterday wasn't as busy as I'd expected! We ended up deciding to hold the evening game until everyone could make it, so it was just work, Asian market, game, and Punjab market.

I desperately wanted red bean paste buns, so I went and grabbed some. Along with almond cookies and noodles and tea for Jess.

Then, we had our game which was awesome. I downed a player, and nearly killed 2 others. As per usual, the players absolutely *loved* it. I swear, these people are just like "fuck me up more, daddy." All of my players are like that, save about 2 people. I'd worry about them if it wasn't so much fun.

But yeah, a good time was had by all. I'm beginning to think that every game deserves a doppelgänger fight. I'm planning a big bash for Frostmaiden on 1/1. There was another module that had a fight where the Doppelgänger changes into each player, one after another. When it changes to a new player, the Doppelgänger rolls a d20 to decide Odds or Evens. Thereafter, all rolls that match that, will hit the Doppelgänger. Rolls that are the opposite will hit the player's character. I think it'll be a lot of fun. You win by killing the Doppelgänger and not your friends, or immobilizing him via a hold person, or something like that.

If any of you were around during the waning time of my Supernatural days, this might be of interest to you:



Chad Michael Murray is one of those guys who I'm amazed survived early adulthood. The man's nickname was Mayhem for FFS. I'm still inordinately fond of him, and he's looking mighty fine. I'll give this a watch. For science. Yeah.

Okay, have a game in 45 min. Gotta get myself together! Everyone have a fun and awesome Sunday!

And that fast, we're into November. WTF? November? Yeesh. We have 59 days until the move, and I'm officially starting to be nervous.

Mostly I'm nervous with the need to get so much done with Dad's will before then. I have to call the register of wills to see what we need to bring to get his probate, which is what we need to release his retirement account to us. Which I really need before we have to start paying rent.
Ugh.

Honestly, right now, I'm just low-level anxious all the time. The election is not doing good things for me. I'm constantly afraid, and worse every time the asshole opens his cakehole. I'm figuring that it's either going to be a blowout for Kamala, or he's going to win by the electoral college only. That second possibility scares the shit out of me. I know that as a white woman who lives in a sanctuary state, I'll be as protected as I can be, but it still scares me. I don't want to lose federal protections of my marriage. I don't want to have to wonder what bullshit my president will get up to during the day. I'm trying to have hope, but I'm also trying to be realistic, and gird my loins against the possibilities.

I remember the day I woke up to find out that both had Obama won, but also gay marriage was ratified in Maryland. I haven't had that feeling in a long time. I'd like it again.

Yesterday was again busy as hell at work. Everyone is trying to get their radiology visits in before their insurance deductible rolls over again, I suppose. Aside from that, I can't say I did much last night.

Tonight I have a game, and I need to decide whether I want to work tomorrow. One of my coworkers offered to take a Saturday shift, and I'm tempted. I have a game tonight, and two games tomorrow, so it might be nice to sleep in. On the other hand...money. I will think about it today.

And now, I shall work on getting myself together for work. Everyone have an excellent Friday!!

Halfway through the work week! Well, not for me, since I just started my week yesterday and I work on Saturday.

Yesterday turned out to be a good day! I got in at 8, as usual, and at 8:45, my manager told me that I had been moved through on the interview process and got to shadow, and I was excited. Then, she told me that it was going to be starting at 9:30am. Lol. Nothing like a quick turn around.

So I was off the phones most of the day. The beginning of the morning, J was showing me what he did, and how that worked in practice. The second half of the morning, I was doing what he does. I think I did pretty well. I was confident, I got the answers right. It turned out that he is also an IKEA refugee, though earlier than I was, so we were chatting about people we knew, and the differences from when we started.

Then, it was time to break for lunch, and Ghost Ticket purchasing. I had tried earlier in the morning for the VIP tickets, but they started at $392, and that was a touch out of my range. So, instead, I went for the Artist Presale (having combed Reddit for that password). I got on and there were a ton of tickets, and dynamic pricing hadn't kicked in, so I got two tickets and the venue's VIP club for under $450. That'll give us actual food, and a preferred entrance. I figure we get there early and go to the club, eat dinner and relax through the opening act, then we can meander up to our seat and watch the show. Our tickets are in the top tier, but in the 2nd row, and looking right down towards the stage. Not great, but not bad, either. Tickets are stupid expensive.

After my triumphant ticket hunting, I went back to shadow for another 2.5 hours. This time, we went over the admin tasks, which I enjoyed a lot. I like working with spread sheets and clearing up emails. They're soothing. So that could be fun. Again, I did some of it once I was taught, and I think I did pretty well.

Apparently the big thing PAS III are scored on is time. You have to respond quickly to questions in the chat. And take care of emails within an hour. I don't see that as a problem, more of a challenge.

Again, I don't really expect to get the job. I know I could do it, but I have only been there for 8 months. But that doesn't mean I won't try my hardest.

After work, I played with my downloads, and got Jess the Ghost concert/movie that came out last year. I'm working on the spreadsheet, and will have it up shortly, so if anyone wants any of the movies or TV Shows, I can upload them to Dropbox.

I finally finished getting Billy the Kid for my brother in law. They were a pain in the ass. Not popular enough to be a fast download, so it took FOREVER. Thank fuck there were only 8 episodes.

Today, I'm just going to relax, and work on spreadsheet during breaks. I don't have anything I massively want to DL right now.

Okay, time to get myself together. Everyone have a brilliant Wednesday!

Yesterday was such a dichotomy of a day. But first, let me rewind and do my full con review.

I was a little sad on the flight out, because most of my D&D server had to drop out for one reason or another. All completely valid reasons! I'm glad they took care of themselves! But I was sad. In past cons, I've kind of felt like an outsider, and didn't socialize much, mostly keeping to just talking to Jess and poisontaster almost exclusively. I wonder in retrospect if I came across as standoffish.

So on my flight, I had the epiphany that this con was going to be what I made of it. I could do what I'd always done and had that vaguely dissatisfied feeling at the end, or I could do what I did for the first Wincon and put myself out there.

So armed with that, once I arrived, I posted in the Discord that I was going to go out and get food, was anyone interested. Which is how I ended up meeting Myth. We went for very good Italian food and had a really good time. I came out of it with leftovers and some adorable Halloween Macarons.

Pictures ahoy behind the cut.

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Running a little late this morning on account of fandom. I went down to get coffee, only to find that the con rooms hadn't been opened at 7 like they're supposed to be, so I mustered up my concommness and got that fixed, then had my sweet, sweet coffee, then went down to fanperson breakfast.

At that point, it was almost time for panels, so I went down to the con floor and chatted with people and got copies of Clone wars and Rebels, which I have been assured that I need to watch. Another kind fan is getting me copies of the entire Highlander series, and an old show called Misfits of Science, which I plan to torture Jess with.

Yesterday was another fun day, filled with fandom. I went to a few panels and presented one. It went a little rough, but that was okay. I got an extra player for my game later in the evening out of it. And one new person on the server.

Then, more panels, then dinner, which was accomplished shortly before my game.

The game was hilarious. It bore little to no resemblance to the original module, which was much more serious business, but it turned out really well, and I think people had a good time.

I'm really enjoying myself, but also am so fricking tired and sore. lol

It's all good though. One more sleep, and a very full day until I get back to my Jess, and sleep in my own bed. I am looking forward to that.

Okay, off to lunch with an area friend! Everyone have an amazing Saturday!

Greetings from Chicago! I have showered, I'm upright and preparing to go down for the free included breakfast. I'm sure it will be very...nice?

Yesterday was busy, y'all. The car came a little early, and my "sedan" was a freaking Suburban. That took a minute to figure out how to get up and in. My driver was a little impatient with the rush hour traffic, and hopped us off the main route to another way. He got me there, but it was a little anxiety inducing.

Security was a breeze. I was through in no time flat, and was to the gate a full 2 hours before departure. An Einstein Bros Brisket Bagel sandwich later, it was time to board. Being first class, I got to board first, which was lovely.

Actually first class was just lovely. The seat was lovely and wide and comfy. I had a drink in my hand before 90% of the flight had boarded (sparkling wine-I'm a nervous flyer) and when drink service happened, it was in an actual glass tumbler with a slice of lime. (Just sparkling water-one drink is my limit.)

The flight was pretty good. A few bumps, but nothing horrible. I still don't like flying, but this one was okay. We landed at O'Hare, and the theme of the day was hiking. Hike from your gate to the baggage claim. (per my cell phone, 1.3 miles). Hike down baggage claim, because they switched yours. Hike to the hotel shuttle--Okay, I didn't do that. The thought of walking to a different terminal to get to the shuttle? Hell no. I got a cab because they were right in front of where my energy crapped out.

Got to the hotel and joy of all joys, my room was ready early. I crashed for an hour, and then put out the call to see if anyone wanted to grab lunch, and found a lovely person to grab a bite with.

We went to the Italian place across the street from the hotel, which was excellent. I have a pile of food for leftovers. Then, there was a small, cute macaron shop next door, so we hit that.

Then it was back to the hotel for a mostly unsucessful nap.

Once that was done, I relaxed for a bit and then helped people unload their cars, and generally hung out. Then it was time for swag cup stuffing. And then, since it was nearly midnight in my normal time zone, I crashed.

Today, breakfast, then some chill time. I may actually check out the pool? I have no idea. Then tea, then a delayed visit to Gangnam market, then back in time for the meet and greet, then Venom3 with fanpeople after the meet and greet!

It's going to be a busy few days, I think. For now though, breakfast. Everyone have an excellent Thursday!

One day to go until I leave for Confab! I have so much to do! (Mostly my "to do" involves packing.) But that will have to wait until after work. I also need to go pick up some pills from the pharmacy, and get out some cash. Then I need to print out my character sheets for my players. Hopefully the toner holds out. Aside from that, I think I'm good. Tomorrow, I have to get my pills together and put them in their little bag. I should have taken today off, but I'm already using 4 days of PTO for the con and the day after.

I'm looking forward to the con, but also nervous. I'm really only fandom-adjacent at this point. Most of my fandom is D&D, so I worry that I won't have anything to talk about. And what if these people take one look at me and decide they don't like me? Who will I hang out with? I'm technically Director of Attendee Affairs, so presumably I will need to circulate and talk to people. I'm not sure how good I'll be at that. This is the first time I've actually been able to go to the con, so I'm not 100% sure of my duties.

Tomorrow, I will be up at god knows what time. Ostensibly 6am, but honestly, probably before. And I'll pack my pills and my computer, have some coffee. My ride should be here at 8:30, and then we'll head down to the airport. Then, I'll take my anti anxiety pills and wait.

It's freaky to think that by lunchtime tomorrow, I'll be in Chicago. I'm going to miss Jess so much. I wish they could have come, but there was no way to work it.

I'm excited about the con. I am looking forward to having an in-person D&D game, and both my panels. I'm just having social anxiety and nervous about who I'm going to spend time with. I don't know anyone well enough to be comfortable glomping onto them. But I'll work it out.

Okay, time for me to go forth and make some more character sheets. Everyone have an excellent Tuesday!

Up early on this Sunday, with the dog snoring beside me. My sister spent the night down in Virginia while on their overnight trip to Skyline Drive, so I stayed upstairs and slept in her bed with the dog. I'm going to be very tired today, methinks.

Yesterday was a good day, I worked for four hours and took 13 whole calls, then I putzed around most of the afternoon. My check from Dad's smaller retirement account came through. They're still "working" on getting the other one set up. I'd like it if the could hurry it up though. I plan to use some of it to pay off my car and a few other bills. The check won't deposit til Monday, but hopefully, by Wednesday they'll have released some of it when I leave for Chicago.

We had tacos from a new place in Towson that were fucking amazing. The al pastor marinated roasted cauliflower was outstanding, as was the al pastor tacos. The carne asada was pretty tasty and the beans and cheese were really tasty.

Then, it was game time. I run a lot of one shots, but this one was one of the better written and paced. It was appropriately spooky, and I'm looking forward to seeing what the module tie in is like. The group of characters my players came up with was also awesome. I'm definitely going to be looking for something to run for them again.

I didn't sleep horribly. I tried out my new travel sound machine, and once the dog stopped trying to kick me out of bed, it wasn't half bad. I think the sound machine will help me to sleep in Chicago very well.

Today, I have a game at 3pm, a Call of Cthulhu tuneup before I play it at the convention. I question whether this is going to be a one shot versus a three shot. But we shall see.

Then, tomorrow, it's back to work for two whole days. Got a couple things I need to do before I go away. 1. psych doctor tomorrow night. 2 pick up prescriptions. 3. Call the nice people at the sedan car and see if tip is included or if I need to get some cash out for that.

Most of my stuff is coming today. Tomorrow, we'll send the laundry out for washing, and I'll figure out which leggings I'm taking vs which I'm leaving Jess. If the check releases completely, I may run over to the mall and pick up a couple more pairs, so we'll both have pants for the week.

Tuesday, I shall pack, and Wednesday, I shall be up and ready SO early.

Okay, time to get myself together and maybe read the module I'm running in 7 hours. Everyone have an amazing Sunday!!