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beansideI had a lovely five day vacation this week, and part of me would like it to continue. However, the part of me that likes being paid is stronger, so I will be logging on like a good little worker at 10am. I don't have any idea what I'm coming into, so it should be fun. My markets may be a little out of control if they couldn't get anyone to work it while I was out.
Last night was MotW. My little chaos goblin players went in a completely different direction than expected, as usual. But they got to the end of the mystery, and killed the monster, so it doesn't matter how they got there. (It was not a short game, and went almost to the 3 hour mark.) I considered pushing it to a two week game, but in the end, I just don't think there was enough material left. Hopefully, the ending wasn't too abrupt.
I'm having a slightly sad morning. It was 6 years ago today that Mom died. I have complicated feelings about this. She didn't really have a downswing at the time, except in retrospect. The last year, she was really easily set off, and Dad and I were frequent targets. I went down to bed crying regularly after one or another barbs hit their target. And her disdain of Dad started to seep in until it was difficult not to feel the same.
When she had the first cardiac arrest, we pulled together while she was in the hospital (tripping balls, which was a little scary) and the rehab center. She came home the day before her birthday on the 23rd, and was gone by the 29th. Jess and I were at the movies when she coded, something I'm both regretful and grateful for. Regretful, because I wasn't there for Dad, who was home alone with her. Grateful, because there's a good chance I would have injured myself trying to keep her alive, and I don't think it would have been successful.
I remember driving to the hospital, terrified, wondering what we would do if this was it. Turned out, it wasn't as bad as expected. We pulled together, and without her added stress, we've made it work pretty well. In the end, it was kind of a relief. So yeah, complicated feelings.
Last night was MotW. My little chaos goblin players went in a completely different direction than expected, as usual. But they got to the end of the mystery, and killed the monster, so it doesn't matter how they got there. (It was not a short game, and went almost to the 3 hour mark.) I considered pushing it to a two week game, but in the end, I just don't think there was enough material left. Hopefully, the ending wasn't too abrupt.
I'm having a slightly sad morning. It was 6 years ago today that Mom died. I have complicated feelings about this. She didn't really have a downswing at the time, except in retrospect. The last year, she was really easily set off, and Dad and I were frequent targets. I went down to bed crying regularly after one or another barbs hit their target. And her disdain of Dad started to seep in until it was difficult not to feel the same.
When she had the first cardiac arrest, we pulled together while she was in the hospital (tripping balls, which was a little scary) and the rehab center. She came home the day before her birthday on the 23rd, and was gone by the 29th. Jess and I were at the movies when she coded, something I'm both regretful and grateful for. Regretful, because I wasn't there for Dad, who was home alone with her. Grateful, because there's a good chance I would have injured myself trying to keep her alive, and I don't think it would have been successful.
I remember driving to the hospital, terrified, wondering what we would do if this was it. Turned out, it wasn't as bad as expected. We pulled together, and without her added stress, we've made it work pretty well. In the end, it was kind of a relief. So yeah, complicated feelings.
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Date: 2020-11-29 01:57 pm (UTC)also sorry about that sad morning - completely understandable; anniversaries are hard, and when things with your mom was hard/painful, that doesn't help. be gentle with yourself and those around you today
*hugs*
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Date: 2020-12-02 05:17 am (UTC)