(no subject)

[beanside]

I haven't posted in a while regarding the state of T.

That's probably because I'm so disgusted all around that I don't feel like talking about it.



Okay, here we go:

Home:
(God, where to start?)

• Dad was laid off from his part time job. They treated him like shit, so it's not a bad thing, but now he doesn't do ANYTHING. Seriously. Nothing. Which leads into the next one...


• Mom is losing her mind. She's depressed, randomly hostile, and making us miserable. She gets into almost daily fights with dad, and....


• Grandmom is still kicking. Mom is so frustrated with her, I'm amazed she hasn't tried to smother her. Her mind is slowing down a little, and her hearing is bad. SO, you have to scream, and keep it simple. It's lovely.


• Money sucks shit. I'm still figuring out all my finances, and getting back on my feet. My car isn't helping, by randomly turning into a money pit. IT needs nearly $1000 more work on it, but that's going to have to wait.

Work

• I love my job, but the school forms this year have been killer. My brain, it is ded.


• My boss is having trouble understanding the nature of my disability and medication issues. As a result, I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm a lazy bum who can't pay attention for more than 10 seconds.


• As a result of the above, he's instituted limited online time during the afternoons, which while it's not unreasonable, but still makes me feel like a 9 year old.

Health:

• My neck is getting worse. The pain wakes me up at night, and I'm considering asking for a delayed release oxycodone.


• The neurontin, which helps a little, also makes me stupid. I lose words, my short term memory is shit, and my focus blows. Am considering requesting Ritalin for this.


• I'm not sure whether it's the drugs or the neck causing it, but 8/10 days, I now have noticeable tremors.


• I'm always tired, because my sleep is for shit. Which can also cause my lack of focus. Yay.


• My depression is only slightly controlled by the Zoloft, however, with no health insurance, I can't afford the other options. This results in depression, and lack of patience, especially with myself.

Jess:

• My bright spot. I live to come home and cuddle her.


• Lyrica helped, but then she got itchy. However, since she's still itchy 2 weeks off of it, it's probably a stupid fibro trick.


• Her boss makes mine look like Ghandi.


• Yes, this would be the woman who is in charge of Disability Support Services.


• Apparently, actually y'know, supporting someone who works in the office with a disability is too much to ask.

Comments

It's gotta get better from here, right?

[atypia.livejournal.com]

I hope that once you get your insurance back (wtf america, I cannot believe that you need insurance to get taken care of medically)......where was I? Once you get your insurance back, can you go to a pain management clinic or see a pain specialist? Someone has to know something that can help you, goddammit. Because waking up from pain is boooolsheeeeet and in no way acceptible *looks sternly in the direction of your neck*

I have turned into a moron too! Brain fog should DIAF! I begged out of seeing a friend today because my brain wasn't making words properly.

People who work in the field of disability can often be the worst motherfuckers when it comes to acceptance and empathy for coworkers/friends/family. I feel so bad for Jess, that she has to experience that first hand :/

*hugs n lovins to you both*

Re: It's gotta get better from here, right?

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*hug* Part of the problem is that I'm fat, so I can't get regular insurance. I have to be on the "high risk" plan. And since that's the same one I had issues with financially, I have to wait until October to get back on there.

But yes. It will get better, dammit.