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beansideHappy Valentine's Day! Jess and I don't really celebrate Valentine's or Christmas between us, since if one of us wants or needs something, we tend to get it right then and there, and we tend to do little presents throughout the year. For Valentine's Day, I'm running a themed game of D&D tonight. Aside from that, not a whole lot going on today. Going to finish prepping, because the last two days I have done absolutely nothing.
I'm suffering from understimulation at the moment, and it's fucking me up. I spend all day on social media, scrolling aimlessly. Once in a while, I'll watch a movie or something, and that's nice, but there isn't that much that I really want to watch, so mostly, I'm just sitting here being bored with no real impetus to do anything else. I will be so glad when I start work on Monday and have things to do again. The last two months have been tough for me mental health wise. I'm feeling particularly useless and shitty. When I first got the job, it helped, but in the month since, I've really started dragging. The down side with joining a big company like Hopkins is that they have a ton of onboarding stuff that you have to do prior to your start date, so your start date will be about a month after the offer, so that's another five weeks that you're going to be waiting. It hasn't been kind to my brain.
At least I only have three more work days of it, thankfully. I just have five total days until I can go back to work and start feeling less like a slug. I'm hoping that will make me feel less shitty.
I'm kind of anxious about going back to work. 911 was so disastrous that I'm a little afraid that I won't be able to do it. What if I can't learn the stuff I need to. What if I'm too slow? After 3 months of being told I'm not good enough, and being berated on every call, I'm a little worried. I'll get over it, but it's preying on me at the moment.
Dad is scheduled to come home on the 24th, and that's worrying me, too. It's going to be a whole new dynamic, one week after I start work, and that's going to be a lot to adjust to in a short amount of time.
Yesterday, I visited, and found another stop added onto my list. He wanted me to get him Valentine's Day cards for the staff and for the friend he's made in therapy. There's an amputee who has taken a liking to him, and she has asked him to be her valentine, which is adorable. So, I stopped at the Hallmark store (which is the 7th circle of hell the day before Valentine's) and picked up two packs of cards for him. My sister wrote them all out yesterday, and Jess is going to run them up this morning, so he can give them out.
I don't think he really wants to come home. He misses the dog, but think otherwise, he's been enjoying his time in the Club Med of rehab facilities.
Now, I believe I'm going to go forth and make myself something for breakfast. Everyone have a most excellent Wednesday!
I'm suffering from understimulation at the moment, and it's fucking me up. I spend all day on social media, scrolling aimlessly. Once in a while, I'll watch a movie or something, and that's nice, but there isn't that much that I really want to watch, so mostly, I'm just sitting here being bored with no real impetus to do anything else. I will be so glad when I start work on Monday and have things to do again. The last two months have been tough for me mental health wise. I'm feeling particularly useless and shitty. When I first got the job, it helped, but in the month since, I've really started dragging. The down side with joining a big company like Hopkins is that they have a ton of onboarding stuff that you have to do prior to your start date, so your start date will be about a month after the offer, so that's another five weeks that you're going to be waiting. It hasn't been kind to my brain.
At least I only have three more work days of it, thankfully. I just have five total days until I can go back to work and start feeling less like a slug. I'm hoping that will make me feel less shitty.
I'm kind of anxious about going back to work. 911 was so disastrous that I'm a little afraid that I won't be able to do it. What if I can't learn the stuff I need to. What if I'm too slow? After 3 months of being told I'm not good enough, and being berated on every call, I'm a little worried. I'll get over it, but it's preying on me at the moment.
Dad is scheduled to come home on the 24th, and that's worrying me, too. It's going to be a whole new dynamic, one week after I start work, and that's going to be a lot to adjust to in a short amount of time.
Yesterday, I visited, and found another stop added onto my list. He wanted me to get him Valentine's Day cards for the staff and for the friend he's made in therapy. There's an amputee who has taken a liking to him, and she has asked him to be her valentine, which is adorable. So, I stopped at the Hallmark store (which is the 7th circle of hell the day before Valentine's) and picked up two packs of cards for him. My sister wrote them all out yesterday, and Jess is going to run them up this morning, so he can give them out.
I don't think he really wants to come home. He misses the dog, but think otherwise, he's been enjoying his time in the Club Med of rehab facilities.
Now, I believe I'm going to go forth and make myself something for breakfast. Everyone have a most excellent Wednesday!
