I'm finding it hard to be kind, since I've been out there losing my mind.

[beanside]

For once, morning didn't feel like it came so early. I was really hurting last night, so I took all the meds at once and it was like being hit upside the head with a brick. I'm not quite sure what I did, but around 2pm, my back started really hurting, and then to add insult to injury, I started getting that familiar pain behind my eye that heralded the beginnings of a migraine. I had to beg off of the CONfab team leaders meeting because there was just no way I was going to be able to focus.

Otherwise, yesterday was okay. I was on inbox and it was pretty busy, so I didn't get anything else done. I don't mind some of the emails, but sometimes I get frustrated with the repetition. Whole lot of cases where the customer was not at home for their delivery. It's an easy case to make, but it gets boring and tedious. Still, it's better than the pending queue, which I'll be doing today.

During breaks, I also found myself putting in applications for jobs outside of IKEA. I did not realize how angry I was about the Team Lead position until they hired an external applicant. But turns out, hey, I'm pissed off. I'm pissed off that after three years, they still can't give me a good reason for the no, other than "you're not a team lead, so you can't be a team lead." It's just infuriating. Right now, I'm looking at 911 dispatcher jobs. The hours would probably suck, but the pay is good and I'm good under pressure. I've applied in Baltimore and Harford counties, so we'll see if I get a reply on either of those. I've also put in a couple of other apps for dispatcher and one in HR for Harford County.

I just don't think I'm ever going to advance at IKEA, and another crappy 3-4% raise is not going to do it this year. It's been just shy of 7 years, but over the last two, I've been putting myself out there, doing extra work, helping everyone out, and it has gotten me exactly nothing. Wait, that's not true. It's gotten me more work. I'm expected to outperform everyone all the time for the same pay as everyone else. And it's bullshit.

The sad thing is that I like the company. They're still a corporation, but at least they're on the side of human rights and environmental causes. I really expected to work there until I retired (lol, like I can ever afford that). I had visions of being able to work out of the Conshohocken office, and having a nice apartment near Philadelphia and being able to afford going out with friends. I just don't feel like that's going to happen anymore, and I'm kind of grieving that.

So, we'll see what happens. I don't know. Job hunting, I suppose. I fucking hate job hunting. For now, though, I'm going to get my ass together and get ready to work. Everyone have a wonderful Wednesday!

Comments

[coyotegestalt]

I guess you probably don't want to tell the 911 people exactly why you already have several years experience giving clear audio descriptions of severe injuries or accurately tracking events in violent altercations in complex, dynamic environments... they probably wouldn't understand about the zombies and dragons. :)

[weyrlady]

It absolutely sucks that they aren't rewarding the work you've done or the initiative you've shown. I hope you do find something better, and soon - something higher paying, less stressful, and fully remote. :D

[dine]

I'm sorry you're having to broaden your job search outside IKEA - but as they aren't willing to pay you for the additional duties you're doing, or to promote you to a position where those could be expected, it may indeed be time. I mean, I'm sure they're thrilled to get your extra labour 'free' but you aren't a TL, so we won't promote you to TL is pure BS

[summerstorm]

That sounds enormously frustrating about IKEA, I'm sorry they haven't rewarded you at all for so much extra work. Hope one of the other job avenues pans out. <3