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beansideUgh Work day. Ew. I didn't sleep great last night (for no apparent reason) and this morning my lower back is aching. It made bending over to feed the cats a little bit of a challenge. I'm not really in a work mood, but I will have to suck it up and deal.
The markets will probably take a little longer today because as I recall, I have a lot of entries where the customer was not at home for their delivery. We make a few attempts to reach them to reschedule, and if they don't in a reasonable amount of time, we cancel the delivery. I think I have quite a few that are due for cancellation if they haven't rescheduled, so that takes a little longer.
Yesterday was a lovely day. We went to the weed store, and then decided that we would go out to breakfast, as long as the place had a patio. We went to Barrett's in Hunt Valley, and had a really nice Valentine's weekend brunch. The food was really good, except oddly the creme brûlée was flavorless. But that didn't detract from the two courses of excellent food, so it was okay. It was really nice to have a little break. I didn't realize how much I needed a little time out with just the two of us.
Of course, that just emphasized how burned out I actually am. I love my family so much, but after all these years, I'm just over most of it. I honestly don't know how Jess doesn't just lose their mind on Dad sometimes. I'm mostly just in there as an occasional helper. I get him up, and dressed, and put him to bed three times a week, and help out a little here and there with his daily care, and some days, I just want to lose it. I suppose I also usually make dinner, and deal with the whining about what I've cooked, too, as well as make sure my sister has food, but that seems like much less than what Jess does.
I'm just tired, and the pandemic has not allowed for many breaks.
I feel like a bit of a bad person complaining. I know I'm lucky to still have my father and I love him very much. It's just that sometimes, family obligations feel like a chain, and I want desperately for us to be free. I feel bad that Jess has become his primary caretaker when they aren't even his bio kid. Not a whole lot that I can do about it right now. I think we need a few days away. Probably a weekend is all we can swing, but even that would be nice.
But today is another sanity saving gaming session! I'm so looking forward to Monster of the Week tonight. I need to comb through my notes, and prep a little, but I can work on that when I finish my work for the day. Plus, I have an hour between getting off work and starting the game to finish up anything that needs to be taken care of. Hopefully, the story hook that I've written works out well.
As I'm sitting here typing on the couch, there is a cat sitting directly next to my ear, cleaning furiously after his breakfast. My entire world is cat food breath and slurping. And he just shook his face, and showered my glasses with drool. Awesome. I love this stupid stinky thing.
Okay, I guess I need to consider getting dressed for work, whether I feel like it or not. Have a good Sunday everyone!
The markets will probably take a little longer today because as I recall, I have a lot of entries where the customer was not at home for their delivery. We make a few attempts to reach them to reschedule, and if they don't in a reasonable amount of time, we cancel the delivery. I think I have quite a few that are due for cancellation if they haven't rescheduled, so that takes a little longer.
Yesterday was a lovely day. We went to the weed store, and then decided that we would go out to breakfast, as long as the place had a patio. We went to Barrett's in Hunt Valley, and had a really nice Valentine's weekend brunch. The food was really good, except oddly the creme brûlée was flavorless. But that didn't detract from the two courses of excellent food, so it was okay. It was really nice to have a little break. I didn't realize how much I needed a little time out with just the two of us.
Of course, that just emphasized how burned out I actually am. I love my family so much, but after all these years, I'm just over most of it. I honestly don't know how Jess doesn't just lose their mind on Dad sometimes. I'm mostly just in there as an occasional helper. I get him up, and dressed, and put him to bed three times a week, and help out a little here and there with his daily care, and some days, I just want to lose it. I suppose I also usually make dinner, and deal with the whining about what I've cooked, too, as well as make sure my sister has food, but that seems like much less than what Jess does.
I'm just tired, and the pandemic has not allowed for many breaks.
I feel like a bit of a bad person complaining. I know I'm lucky to still have my father and I love him very much. It's just that sometimes, family obligations feel like a chain, and I want desperately for us to be free. I feel bad that Jess has become his primary caretaker when they aren't even his bio kid. Not a whole lot that I can do about it right now. I think we need a few days away. Probably a weekend is all we can swing, but even that would be nice.
But today is another sanity saving gaming session! I'm so looking forward to Monster of the Week tonight. I need to comb through my notes, and prep a little, but I can work on that when I finish my work for the day. Plus, I have an hour between getting off work and starting the game to finish up anything that needs to be taken care of. Hopefully, the story hook that I've written works out well.
As I'm sitting here typing on the couch, there is a cat sitting directly next to my ear, cleaning furiously after his breakfast. My entire world is cat food breath and slurping. And he just shook his face, and showered my glasses with drool. Awesome. I love this stupid stinky thing.
Okay, I guess I need to consider getting dressed for work, whether I feel like it or not. Have a good Sunday everyone!
