And now, for my next trick, I shall ruin Christmas...

[beanside]

Or at least that's what I expect from this week. I can't magically make packages appear, so I'm sure I'll ruin someone's holiday. The joys of working retail.

I have a job interview on Thursday, so we'll see how that goes. They would have to be offering me a significant raise from my current salary, as I'd have to deal with a LOT more traffic. Plus my current benefits package is top notch, so they'd have to compensate for that as well.

Aside from that, things are standard. We still have no heat, but we're compensating with ceramic space heaters. The Trintellix seems to be working moderately well. Depression is better, and the anxiety is easing up some.

I'm having my usual birthday funk. I'm feeling very disconnected from fandom, and like I have no friends aside from poisontaster and wrenlet, and I don't talk to them often. I feel like my words are locked up in my mouth. I remember the days of early SPN, and I don't like the difference, but on the other hand, I just don't have the energy for fanishness that I used to.

Jess suggested therapy for the new year, and that's probably a good idea. I have my round of doctors appointments on Thursday (busy day), so I might set up a therapy appointment when I see my shrink.

Comments

[poisontaster]

I think a lot of us are at that place where we're just not fannish in the way that we used to be and it aches. I'm definitely not. But, I mean, among other things, life got REAL HARD and that makes it difficult to hit that same carefree giddiness, even if I had a show or movie to get giddy about, you know? I mean...I don't think it's a personal bug, I think it's a life feature, you know?