What the hell?

[beanside]

So, the last two days, in addition to recovering from the flu, I think I'm finally starting to recover from the year. It took sliding to the edge of the map, but I think I've turned the bend. As Jess pointed out, this year has hit me in three of my biggest identity centers, and it really threw me. I lost my sense of worth in my work. I lost my sense of worth as a family caretaker when grandmom died, and I lost my religious worth when the coven split.

This year, I've been pulled in on myself like a turtle, trying to re-make who I am, and what I've come up with is that I was just fucking fine with who I was. So, with judicious pushing from above, I'm over this.

What that brings up is that it's time to dig in and be who I want to be, and that's an author. Not just of fanfic, but of kickass original sci-fi/queer fiction. So, I don't know if anyone (HA!) remembers a little Laurel K. Hamilton knockoff named Ragnarok, but we're going back.

New cast in some places, new story in some places, and a lot of revamping to get rid of the LKH cooties, but the same soul. So, who wants to be on the filter? (Cari, you get no choice. Sorry.)

[Poll #1472110]

Comments

[justsonya.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I always have and always will think you're amazing in every one of the areas that you've been hit in this year. You're a wonderful, dynamic, incredible person, honey. You always have been.

[ixchel55.livejournal.com]

I know what it's like to have your world knock ass over tea kettle. Sometimes you just have to take a breath, take a step back and separate yourself a little so you can get a good look.

I'm glad you liked what you saw.

[kelly-girl.livejournal.com]

I enjoy your writing so yes to the ragnarok filter.

[katzb101.livejournal.com]

Good for you! *hugs* I'm glad to hear you've come round the bend.


And a big old yes please!

Can I go and squeee quietly in the corner now? *g*

[sheira66.livejournal.com]

uhmmm...want to say a great big YES to the poll..but can't get the damned thing to work...hoping you'll still add me

hugs sheira

[mona1347.livejournal.com]

I don't think I ever read this to begin with, but hell yeah, dude, HOOK ME UP.

Also. I <3 you. And I'm glad you're seeing yourself as the awesome person you are again.

[gelasius.livejournal.com]

Congratulations on finding your center again, I know how frustrating that struggle can be. And though we don't really know each other, nor was I aware of this story before, hook me up anyway! :)

[darling-lisa.livejournal.com]

Perhaps its the sleep deprivation, but this "a lot of revamping to get rid of the LKH cooties" just gave me a serious case of the giggles today. ::grin::

And no idea what Ragnarok 'verse you had previously created, but sounds fantastic and I imagine tht in your hands the mythology would be turned even more wonderful.

[kidkai.livejournal.com]

Glad to here you're finding yourself again. Wish I could feel the same.

I recently went looking for some of your old fic but it was gone :(
Even the Wayback Machine couldn't find it.

[pkoceres.livejournal.com]

Ooh, put me on the filter please! LKH minus the cooties sounds like a wonderful thing.

[caarirose.livejournal.com]

I was going to say, if you had actually ask me, I'd hurt you!

*cuddleloves*

[darktouch.livejournal.com]

Seriously I hear you. Do what you love and everyone else be damned.

[tobemeagain.livejournal.com]

Finding your center when you've lost it is one of the hardest and most rewarding things you can do for you. I'm glad you were able to find your way.

I doubled up and said yes to both of you lovely ladies on the filter :)

[novascotiasam.livejournal.com]

I'm so thrilled to hear you say you are just fucking fine with who you are! We all thought so too, but extra hugs to Jess for helping you see it for yourself.

I'm working on turning my corner too. With you for inspiration, just imagine what I may find to define myself with nowadays?

<3<3<3

[catangel70.livejournal.com]

go for it! what ever sparks your creative juices, keeps you motivated, full filled and happy is worth pursuing......and lucky for the rest of us its your writing!!! I'm not familiar with Ragnorak but would love to read it. Congratulations on turning the corner and finding yourself again.

[fufaraw]

As quickly as we come to some intellectual conclusions, it takes the body and the emotions longer to get there. I'm glad you've arrived. I'd love to be on the Ragnarok filter.

[atypia.livejournal.com]

I'm happy for you <3 Keep on being awesome :)