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beansideTitle: Upon My Liar's Chair
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: Thankfully, this didn't happen. I don't know them, I don't know what they do in their spare time, but I doubt it's any of this.
A/N: Much love to my wife for doing the quick once over. Sweet Charity fic, for avid_slacker.
Warning: Character injury, permanent disability.
Jeff pulled up in his rental SUV as Jensen was navigating the front doors to the shiny office building. Fucking things. Press button to open, his ass. More like press button, then reverse quickly to avoid getting crushed by automatic door.
Really, what was wrong with the good old fashioned sliding doors? One more thing he'd never noticed before.
“Hey. How was the appointment?” Jeff asked, coming around to open the car door for him.
Jensen shrugged. “She says I'm healed, and I need to work on my hip muscles. And get a new wheelchair.”
“That would be good. Cause I gotta tell you, this one really doesn't suit you.”
“Talk to the hospital. They got me this piece of shit.” Jensen slid into the car, and watched Jeff fold the chair to shove in the backseat.”
“You okay, dude?” Jeff asked softly. “Did she give you bad news or something?”
Jensen shrugged. “Can we not go back to the house right away?”
“Sure. Where do you want to go?”
“I don't know. Just not to the house.” Jensen shrugged.
Jeff nodded, and slid behind the wheel.
The weather had improved a little, at least. It was still cloudy, but at least the rain had stopped.
Jeff drove like he knew where he was going, heading out onto the highway, while Jensen stared out the window.
“I was kinda rough on you yesterday,” Jeff said suddenly.
Jensen glanced over at him, stomach tightening. “Can we not talk about it right now. I just...”
Jeff nodded. “Okay. We can table it.”
“Thanks.” He looked back out the window, up at the peak of Whistler in the distance. “She doesn't think it's coming back. Not all the way.”
“Oh, sweetheart.”
“So, that's it. I'm officially fucked as far as my career choice,” Jensen said bitterly.
“No you're not,” Jeff said.
“You're right. Once in a while, they can trot me out for those sweeps week 'Very Special Episodes.'”
“Jen-”
“Face it, Jeff. Even when they have a role for someone to be handicapped, they never cast an actual cripple. Too much work.”
“Is that what you think you are?”
“What? A cripple?” Jensen looked at him, feeling the anger that never seemed to be far away boiling up. “If the chair fits, Morgan.”
“You are such a stubborn son of a bitch, you know that? You have so fucking much going for you,” Jeff began.
That was it, Jensen thought. “Oh yeah. I can totally see that. Asshole. I can't walk. I can't stand. I have pain, invisibility and humiliation to look forward to. You're right. I'm so lucky,” he spat. “Quit being such a fucking Pollyanna.”
“One of us should be, since you're determined that the rest of your life is going to suck.”
“What life?” Jensen screamed. “Even my parents are acting like I'm dead already.”
Even as the words were flying out of his mouth, Jensen was cursing himself.
True to form, Jeff's face softened. “Jen-” he started, voice gentle.
“Don't. I don't want your fucking pity.”
“Got that market cornered already?”
“You know what? Fuck you, Morgan. You don't get to do this sanctimonious bullshit. Still trying to run in and be the goddamned hero. I don't need you. I didn't fucking ask you to be my fucking nursemaid, and frankly, you can leave if I don't meet your standards of what a cripple is supposed to be like,” Jensen spat. “Now stop the goddamn car.”
“What?”
“Stop the fucking car!” Jensen yelled.
“Okay, okay.” Jeff pulled over to the sidewalk.
Jensen didn't waste time, squirming awkwardly between the seats until he could drag himself into the back with his wheelchair. A moment later, he was lunging across, and shoving the door open, following it with the chair, shoving it out onto the pavement.
Jeff finally caught on and jumped out, hurrying around in time to catch the chair, lifting it upright. “Jensen, don't-”
“Fuck you. Don't tell me what I can and can't do.” He grabbed onto the handle over the window, and pulled himself up with one hand, using the other to propel his legs forward, out of the car.
A moment later, he was pitching forward, grabbing himself just in time to flop into the chair, which promptly proved it's worth by tipping and nearly dumping him on the sidewalk.
Jeff grabbed it, righting it quickly, then stepped back. “Jen, what are you-”
“I'm taking the cripple equivalent of a long walk. Fuck off. I'll find my own way back to the house.”
Jeff stared for a moment, hurt and confusion written on his face. “Jensen-”
Jensen turned away, wheeling down the sidewalk before he relented. “Just leave me alone.
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: Thankfully, this didn't happen. I don't know them, I don't know what they do in their spare time, but I doubt it's any of this.
A/N: Much love to my wife for doing the quick once over. Sweet Charity fic, for avid_slacker.
Warning: Character injury, permanent disability.
Jeff pulled up in his rental SUV as Jensen was navigating the front doors to the shiny office building. Fucking things. Press button to open, his ass. More like press button, then reverse quickly to avoid getting crushed by automatic door.
Really, what was wrong with the good old fashioned sliding doors? One more thing he'd never noticed before.
“Hey. How was the appointment?” Jeff asked, coming around to open the car door for him.
Jensen shrugged. “She says I'm healed, and I need to work on my hip muscles. And get a new wheelchair.”
“That would be good. Cause I gotta tell you, this one really doesn't suit you.”
“Talk to the hospital. They got me this piece of shit.” Jensen slid into the car, and watched Jeff fold the chair to shove in the backseat.”
“You okay, dude?” Jeff asked softly. “Did she give you bad news or something?”
Jensen shrugged. “Can we not go back to the house right away?”
“Sure. Where do you want to go?”
“I don't know. Just not to the house.” Jensen shrugged.
Jeff nodded, and slid behind the wheel.
The weather had improved a little, at least. It was still cloudy, but at least the rain had stopped.
Jeff drove like he knew where he was going, heading out onto the highway, while Jensen stared out the window.
“I was kinda rough on you yesterday,” Jeff said suddenly.
Jensen glanced over at him, stomach tightening. “Can we not talk about it right now. I just...”
Jeff nodded. “Okay. We can table it.”
“Thanks.” He looked back out the window, up at the peak of Whistler in the distance. “She doesn't think it's coming back. Not all the way.”
“Oh, sweetheart.”
“So, that's it. I'm officially fucked as far as my career choice,” Jensen said bitterly.
“No you're not,” Jeff said.
“You're right. Once in a while, they can trot me out for those sweeps week 'Very Special Episodes.'”
“Jen-”
“Face it, Jeff. Even when they have a role for someone to be handicapped, they never cast an actual cripple. Too much work.”
“Is that what you think you are?”
“What? A cripple?” Jensen looked at him, feeling the anger that never seemed to be far away boiling up. “If the chair fits, Morgan.”
“You are such a stubborn son of a bitch, you know that? You have so fucking much going for you,” Jeff began.
That was it, Jensen thought. “Oh yeah. I can totally see that. Asshole. I can't walk. I can't stand. I have pain, invisibility and humiliation to look forward to. You're right. I'm so lucky,” he spat. “Quit being such a fucking Pollyanna.”
“One of us should be, since you're determined that the rest of your life is going to suck.”
“What life?” Jensen screamed. “Even my parents are acting like I'm dead already.”
Even as the words were flying out of his mouth, Jensen was cursing himself.
True to form, Jeff's face softened. “Jen-” he started, voice gentle.
“Don't. I don't want your fucking pity.”
“Got that market cornered already?”
“You know what? Fuck you, Morgan. You don't get to do this sanctimonious bullshit. Still trying to run in and be the goddamned hero. I don't need you. I didn't fucking ask you to be my fucking nursemaid, and frankly, you can leave if I don't meet your standards of what a cripple is supposed to be like,” Jensen spat. “Now stop the goddamn car.”
“What?”
“Stop the fucking car!” Jensen yelled.
“Okay, okay.” Jeff pulled over to the sidewalk.
Jensen didn't waste time, squirming awkwardly between the seats until he could drag himself into the back with his wheelchair. A moment later, he was lunging across, and shoving the door open, following it with the chair, shoving it out onto the pavement.
Jeff finally caught on and jumped out, hurrying around in time to catch the chair, lifting it upright. “Jensen, don't-”
“Fuck you. Don't tell me what I can and can't do.” He grabbed onto the handle over the window, and pulled himself up with one hand, using the other to propel his legs forward, out of the car.
A moment later, he was pitching forward, grabbing himself just in time to flop into the chair, which promptly proved it's worth by tipping and nearly dumping him on the sidewalk.
Jeff grabbed it, righting it quickly, then stepped back. “Jen, what are you-”
“I'm taking the cripple equivalent of a long walk. Fuck off. I'll find my own way back to the house.”
Jeff stared for a moment, hurt and confusion written on his face. “Jensen-”
Jensen turned away, wheeling down the sidewalk before he relented. “Just leave me alone.
Tags:
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no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 12:35 pm (UTC)And Jensen really is screwed when it comes to acting. The entertainment industry really is a vulture. The only person I've seen have any sort of sucess when not 100% "normal", is the deaf woman who does several tv shows. I forget her name. She was in the movie version of "Children of a Lesser God" (which is a f'cking AMAZING play.) Now I want to hug Jensen again.
Dammit your story keeps making me see-saw between smacking him and hugging him. I'm completely addicted to this series though. Lovely work as always!
no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 12:46 pm (UTC)Yeah, there have been few disabled actors, and most of them were established actors who became disabled after becoming household names or so identified with a famous actor people couldn't see anyone else in the role or write it out- see Raymond Burr (Perry Mason) or Christopher Reeves.
Poor Jensen. But yeah, people need to rally around him, force him to see he's not alone. Because he's going through hell, understandably.
Can I just say- if you haven't been to Newseum and seen the Pulitzer Prize photographs, you should do so before the traveling exhibit leaves? Seriously, I know $20 is a ridiculous ticket price, but that is a religious experience. And as bad as things are here, it reminds you of how much worse things are around the world. Very humbling.
Sorry, know that was random, but I remember that you're kinda close to DC.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 12:56 pm (UTC)As for other disabled actors, it just makes it even more difficult to find work in an industry where it's almost impossible to find work. There's so much type casting that goes on, that unless a writer specifically wrote a character with Jensen in mind, chances are most casting agencies would toss his headshot. It'd be difficult for him to find work in theatre as well, and that's a slightly less brutal industry. He could do voice overs, but that's an entirely different genre. Actually, the more I think about it, the more I realize that some theatre companies would embrace him. It wouldn't be the traditional Noel Coward type play, but with a risk taking director, Jensen could be very sucessful. Especially if he got involved in more cutting edge works. I'd find some titles for you, but my computer is being slow again. Off the top of my head, there's a new play called "Eurydice" which I could see him in, probably as one of the three stones.
Okay, I may officially be putting too much thought into this. *g* I'll stop casting hypothetically-disabled-Jensen in shows now.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 02:02 pm (UTC)It was great, it really was. And EVERYONE should go to Newseum.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-06 11:43 am (UTC)Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2008-05-06 11:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 12:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-06 11:44 am (UTC)Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 12:57 pm (UTC)And as for his parents ... grrr ... I am just not going to mention them because I'd want to slap them.
Jeff's going to have tough it out - he's just an easy target at the moment because Jensen needs someone to be angry at and Jeff happens to be there ..
Damn this story is addictive - thanks for the update.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-06 11:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 01:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-06 11:45 am (UTC)Thank you, sweetie! *hug*
no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 02:54 pm (UTC)Anyway, what I think this chapter captures well is how since Jensen developed a disability, he doesn't have the same level of privacy he had before. Given that Jensen doesn't seem like a "Talk about your feelings" guy, having to deal with all this emotional crap and being unable to do it in private must be driving him nuts. Jeff gets stuck in this horrible position of trying to be supportive while all Jensen wants is not to have his emotional crap hit the fan with a frakking audience, and the irony of it is that that's the last thing he's going to get.
I do think that the story has a fair amount of flexibility based on the fact that Jensen is already an established star, and Hollywood tends to be kinder to actors with disabilities who are already stars when they become people with disabilities, as opposed to actors with disabilities who are just starting their careers. Eric Kripke and Robert whatshisface seem to have a lot of loyalty, but I wonder if the network will be as understanding. I suspect that a lot of it would have to do with how successful the series was at the time of the accident and how much it would cost to keep filming with Jensen, and how much pull Kripke et. al. had at the time. (The timing of this is weird, as I was just talking about a play in which the question of the casting of actors with disabilities to play characters with disabilities was being discussed. Timely.)
no subject
Date: 2008-05-06 11:47 am (UTC)I think, since he was injured on set, the network is going to have to be understanding, cause really, otherwise, they look like assholes.
Jensen's not quite there yet, but he will be...maybe.
I love how even brief Iv feedback is so thinky, btw. *grin* You are, as always, awesome.
Hope this morning is better for you!
no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 02:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-06 11:48 am (UTC)Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 09:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-06 11:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 10:27 pm (UTC)Not real Jensen, of course, I hope his bandy legs carry him around forever, but for imaginary Jensen in this fic I think it makes his struggle much more poignant, and therefore your fic much more interesting!
Thanks.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-06 11:50 am (UTC)I'm glad it works for you! Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 10:57 pm (UTC)You've finally managed it, though. I'm a little annoyed at Jen. My sympathy levels are fairly low to start with, but by now I'd be yelling back and telling him to suck it up. *embarrassed blush* Just as well it's Jeff... And if I were Jen, and Jeff called me 'sweetheart'? That would be it. I would be in his lap bawling my eyes out.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-06 11:51 am (UTC)I love how invested everyone is! Seriously! It's just like crack for the writer brain. *grin*
Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2008-05-06 01:53 am (UTC)You write this so well, I'm really enjoying it.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-06 12:08 pm (UTC)I'm glad it's ringing true so far! Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2008-05-06 04:12 am (UTC)And Jen didn´t notice...
Poor baby.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-06 12:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-10 02:36 am (UTC)I can't imagine how devastating it would be to be fully able-bodied and then become disabled. It must feel alot like the grieving process and right now Jensen is moving from denial to anger. It makes sense, but it's unfortunate Jeff has to be the one he lashes out at.