beanside | Fic: Like a Simple Question (Reply)

This is more of the genderfuck verse, following Swimming Blindly."

Title: Like a Simple Question
Authors:

beanside
Rating: R
Pairing: Girl!Jensen/Jeff
Disclaimer: Never happened. Fiction!
A/N: Unbetaed. Gratuitous schmoop.

He'd known it was going to end. Really. Shit like that didn't happen in real life, Jen had said. Jeff had known that the kid was right. But in his case, Jeff meant that good things like Jensen just didn't happen to guys like him.

It had ended with a whimper, two and a half weeks after it started. Jensen had looked at him as he was packing to head back to LA, promising to come back after his meeting with the execs. "Don't bother," Jensen had said simply. "This isn't going to work."

No remorse, no explanations. Just a dismissal.

So, here Jeff was in LA, with nothing much to do. The meeting he'd had to make was the execs all but saying that his show had gone up in smoke with the failure of the second Grey's show. After all this time, he was kind of relieved, to be honest. He was getting more parts in movies daily, enough that he could pick and choose who he worked for. The lack of television commitments just made it easier to decide on parts.

Didn't change that right now he was bored out of his fucking mind, though. Bisou was thrilled to have him back, of course. She was curled up on his legs, blissfully ignoring him as he flipped through the channels.

The phone shrilled, and Jeff scooped it up, ignoring the annoyed look his girl shot him. "Hello?"

"Jeff, it's Eric."

"Hey, how's it going?"

Eric paused for a moment, a little too long for comfort. When he spoke, there was a brittle calm to his voice. "We're okay. Look, I was wondering if you were available for the next two weeks."

"Yeah, sure. Why?"

"We're shutting down production early. And I need you for the finale."

"Shit. Did we get cancelled?"

"No. We've actually been renewed for next season. Jensen is--" Eric hesitated again, picking out his words too carefully. When Eric was tactful, things had to be bad. "He's having some health issues and we're going to have to cut the season short to let him deal with it. It's that or take Dean out for the rest of the year, and you know the fans would have a frigging stroke--"

"What's wrong?" Jeff's fingers tightened on the phone, willling Eric to tell him.

Eric sighed heavily. "I can't talk about it, dude. But he's not going to be able to work for a while."

"The hell you can't talk about it," Jeff began, his voice rising on every word. "You-"

"I can't," Eric shot back. "Jensen's orders."

And damned if that didn't yank the wind right out of Jeff's sails. He sank back into the couch, feeling like he'd been punched in the chest. "Can't tell anybody, or can't tell me?"

"Look, just come up here, all right? If he wants you to know what's going on, he'll tell you himself."

Jeff stared at the screen. "Fine. I'll be up day after tomorrow, okay?" He hung up without waiting for the answer.

Fuck. He was dialing Jared before he thought about it.

"Hello?"

"Jare, what's going on?"

The dial tone answered him, and Jeff stared at the phone, mouth open. "Oh, you did not just..."

He dialed again, and before Jared could speak, growled, "Don't you dare, Jared. This isn't my fault, so don't make like it's all about me. He told me to leave."

"And you took off like your ass was on fire, didn't you?" Jared said pissily.

Jeff swallowed against his temper. "What's wrong with Jensen?"

"He doesn't want you to know. He doesn't want to see you. He just wants to be left alone so he can deal with... whatever."

"Jesus." Jeff leaned hard against his kitchen counter. "Is it serious? Please, Jare. I-"

"He doesn't need this kind of shit. Jensen needs people who will be there for him right now."

And damned if that didn't hit like a sledgehammer to the gut. "I wanted to be there," Jeff whispered.

The only answer was the click of Jared hanging up on him for the second time that night.

Three quick phone calls later, he was in the cab, heading for the airport. The pet sitter would take care of Bisou, since he hadn't bothered to find a hotel. There would be time enough for that when he found out what was going on.

Fuck. Was it something to do with the curse? Was he sick? Was it life threatening? God, what if he was dying? And here Jeff was, an asshole who had never bothered to say the words that he should have said, to fight for what he needed instead of just walking out. He'd been a pussy, figured that Jensen would think he was just sexually confused, or that he loved the soft curves of his borrowed body. Jensen could be blind like that.

It didn't matter what body the boy was in. And goddammit, Jeff was going to tell him that. If Jensen would let him, he'd be there, for whatever was to come. No matter the outcome.

He could see the light on in the apartment though the peephole, hear the soft voices on the television. Jeff took a deep breath and knocked.

The tv clicked off, and Jeff heard footsteps a second before the light behind the peephole blinked out.

"Jen, please," Jeff said hoarsely. "Tell me what's going on?"

Quiet.

With a hard sigh, Jeff leaned his forehead against the cool plane of the door. "I know," he said. "I know you don't want to see me and I know you told me to go, but I can't. I shouldn't have left in the first place. I should have told you that I wouldn't leave. I should have told you I loved you. I don't care what's wrong. I just want to be there for you. I want to help. And I'm so sorry, baby. I-"

The door opened silently, nearly pitching him headlong into Jensen's apartment. Jeff jerked upright, and Jensen eyed him. Jesus, his eyes were bloodshot and hollow, his face miserably flushed. His sweatpants were huge on his still-tiny, still female body.

"You're--" Jeff did the mental math, and blinked. "You didn't change back?"

Jensen shook his head. "You figure that out yourself?"

"Is that it? Eric had me convinced that you were dying." Jeff slumped against the door frame, relief coursing through his body.

Jensen's expression threatened to crumple. He set his jaw hard. "That's not it."

"Oh god. What's wrong?" Fear ate at him like acid, his stomach rolling.

"Come in. I'm not going to explain this in the hallway," Jensen sighed. He led Jeff in, shoving him towards the sofa. "Sit down."

Jeff stood, staring at him. "I meant it. Whatever's wrong, I want to be there-"

"It was a goddamn fertility totem," Jensen said, biting off each word.

"I want-- wait, what?"

Eyes going bright again, Jensen gestured at his stomach and snarled, "I'm pregnant, you asshole."

The world seemed to white out for a second, and Jeff sat down on the couch hard. Dimly, he was aware of Jensen talking, but the words were nonsense. Blood was rushing in his ears too loud to hear anyway.

Pregnant. A baby. Their--

Then a sharp sting to his cheek brought his head around. Jensen glared at him, hand drawn back to smack him again. "For fuck's sake, Morgan."

"You're pregnant? With my baby?"

Jensen's face turned to stone. "No, with one of the other guys I was fucking last month. Way to be a man about it."

"Jesus, give me a second here. Ten minutes ago, I was afraid you were dying. Now, you're telling me that I'm going to be a father?" The words sunk in a moment later, and Jeff reached out a shaky hand to touch Jensen's flat stomach.

"Yeah." Jensen eyed him warily as he came to his feet. "I'm keeping it," he said, chin thrust defiantly out, and crossed his arms over his stomach.

"Thank god." Jeff slid his arms around Jensen's slim body, pulling him closer. "I'm going to be a daddy," he said, wonderingly. "We're going to be parents."

Jensen blinked, then asked like he expected to be kicked, "You're... happy?"

"Yes. God, yes." Tugging Jensen onto his lap, Jeff held him back to look at him. The grin crept up on him. "We're going to have a baby!"

Jensen barked a laugh, reaching up to swipe at his eye with the heel of one hand. Relief made him pliant, sinking against Jeff's chest. "Yeah. We are. But let's be clear on this: you're going to tell me to push while I shove a watermelon out of a body part I lived without for the first twenty six years of my life."

"Totally untrue," Jeff murmured, smiling. "I'll rub your back, too."

"Oh, well. In that case."

Jeff grinned, tucking Jensen's head under his chin. They sat like that for a moment, Jeff drinking in the warm weight of Jensen against him. Finally, carefully, Jeff eased his hand down to Jensen's stomach. His hand could practically span Jensen's hips. He cupped the gentle curve where belly gave way to pubic bone, sliding his fingers just under the waistband of Jensen's underwear.

"Hey now," Jensen muttered. "I've been puking for days."

"Shh." Jeff kissed the top of his head, and took the elbow to his ribs like a man. "I'm just... I'm a little..."

There were no words for what he was, actually, for this kind of wonder. It'd been strange enough to have Jensen as a woman, all soft curves and the unexpected spice of his cologne. Stranger to have those twenty days, weeks of playing pool and smoking up and shooting scenes like nothing had changed, then going home and nailing Jensen through the mattress. And now this.

They'd made this happen. They'd made a little person, incubating in Jensen's flat belly. It was alternately wonderful and terrifying, and Jeff made a mental note not to watch Aliens for the next few months.

Jesus, that probably wasn't a real paternal thought.

Covering Jeff's hand with his, Jensen squeezed gently and said, "Yeah. I know."

Jeff smiled into his hair. "Hi, little person," he murmured to Jensen's stomach. "Bisou's going to love you."

"Probably," Jensen agreed tiredly. His yawn made his jaw pop, a huff of warm breath on Jeff's shoulder. "It's a clump of cells, Jeff. Can't hear you."

"You can," Jeff said. "So. Why'd you kick me out?"

Jensen stiffened a little, then drew his hand back. "I don't-"

Holding on, Jeff said, "Oh, no. We're both up, it's four in the morning, we might as well talk."

With an irritated noise, Jensen dropped his head back against Jeff's shoulder, bruisingly hard. "I was changing back," he said, like that was explanation enough. "It was better."

"Better than what?"

"Better than hearing the speech," Jensen said flatly. "You wouldn't be the first straight guy I had sex with. I've heard all of them. 'You're so pretty, it's almost like a girl.' 'You only sucked me, so it doesn't count.' 'As long as I fucked you from behind, I could pretend it was a pussy.' Except hell, at least you would've had a legitimate excuse. You're my friend, Jeff, I couldn't... I didn't want to hear that. So I gave you an out."

"I didn't want an out." Rage, like nothing Jeff had ever felt welled up toward the faceless assholes who had hurt Jensen, who had touched what was his-- Wow. Okay, that was new. Territorial much, Morgan? he asked himself. "They were wrong. And Jen, where were you? I was there five minutes before Jare tagged me as a part-time member of the Judy Garland brigade."

Jensen snickered softly. "And if that's the case, I'm pregnant because why?"

"First off, hello? Part-time. I'm bi. Or just greedy. Second, because it was you. And you're gorgeous no matter what the body." Jeff eased up his grip, stroking his hand down Jensen's stomach again, tracing down to the slope of his hip. "So, y'know, don't freak out over this again after nine months. I want you. Guy, girl, whatever, as long as it's you."

For a moment, Jeff could damn near hear Jensen thinking that out. Then Jensen hummed and leaned his cheek against Jeff's shoulder. "And I'm the girl? Dude, I've got pregnancy hormones, and even I'm not that Hallmark."

Jeff laughed, squeezing Jensen gently. "Shut up, you ass."

Jensen laughed with him for a moment, before it broke off with a huge yawn. "Sorry. Haven't been sleeping well."

"I wonder why. C'mon. I'll tuck you in, and then I'll find a hotel for the next two weeks."

Jensen's hand was small in his, almost fragile. "You don't--you could stay here. With me."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I am." Jensen turned to face him, backing slowly towards the bedroom. "C'mon, Daddy to be. Come to bed."

Smile threatening to split his face, Jeff followed.