I am Lady Pretentious, mate to Lord Thunderballs, and your drumming is insufficient.

90% of you are now wondering if I've gone off the deep end. Two of you just choked. Long story.

I've come to the conclusion that old muses never leave. They may fade to the back of your mind for a time, but in reality, they're just waiting for something to spark them again.

It might take a while, but they'll always be there.

Why do I bring this up? Because, my beloved Nix poked a muse awake last night. I'll get you for that, love.

I never said he was dead and buried, but I didn't expect to see him anytime soon. But noooo. This morning, I open word, planning on working on my bit o original fic, and guess who's there poking me?

Once I started writing, I remembered why he was once one of my favorite 'voices' to write in. Smart, strong, seriously fucked, what more could one ask? Maybe one who doesn't come with so many connotations in the fandom world?

Yes, we're talking about that casualty of Tallific, the Kirk with a brain and balls. What's that you say? Kirk is a whiny femme bitch? Not in my happy little universe. In my world, he's grown out of that phase, if ever he was in it.

In my mind, he's strong, smart and sarcastic, and a lot of fun to write. Now, if he'd just decide who he's planning on sleeping with, I'd be happy.

And I'd be even happier if the other old musi don't take his lead. I really don't need the runt back.

So, anyway, this got me thinking about the things in fandoms that annoy me, which I am now going to bitch about, in verse form. Aren't you all lucky?

( The Ten Things in Fandom That Cause So Much Pain to Me. )