And then, there's a bearded fetus.

Good morning from snow covered Maryland! It's not as bad as they originally said it might be, only about 2 inches instead of 6.

Yesterday, we did all the things. Except my hair cut. That got bumped til today as the stylists kid got sick at school, and she had to go pick the kid up. But in the morning, I got off my ass and drove down to the Hopkins campus I need to go to on Monday. It's not a bad ride, though I'm going to leave a little extra time for traffic. (Which of course means I'll be there a minimum of half an hour early. Then, we took the dog to the vet. I was a total wreck, but he was a little angel for them, of course. Not a peep out of him for the shots, the exam, the butt shave or the blood draw. They gave us some doggie ibuprofen, and that seems to be helping him. He was a little mopey and clingy, but not crying, which was a huge improvement over last time he had shots.

Today, I will have my hair cut at 12, and then I suppose as long as the road is good, it'll be up to see dad. Then, back in time for our 4pm MotW game at 4pm. Tomorrow, we have two games, one in the morning and one later in the afternoon. Both should be a lot of fun!

Then, it's time to get my unemployed ass back to work.

I have some stuff to do this weekend to get ready. I need to clean my car out a bit. It's gotten a little trashy. I need to unearth my coffee mug and my messenger bag, both of which are kind of hanging out in the back seat somewhere. I want to empty my messenger bag of all the 911 crap, and refill it with some new legal pads and pens.

They told me to bring my phone and charger to do the zoom orientation on, which I will, but I'm also thinking that I will take my laptop. If it's feasible, I'd rather watch the orientation on there, since I'm old and have bifocals. If I can't, that's fine, too. I just figure I'll take it just in case.

As I was saying to coyotegestalt, I'm not quite qure why I'm going to this location? It's not the call center's location, it's an actual radiology office. The only thing I could figure was that maybe it has a conference room or office that they can tuck us in? (That's assuming it's going to be more than just me.)

I'm a little nervous about Monday, but it hasn't really kicked in yet. I'm sure tomorrow night I'll be completely anxious. Which reminds me, I need to stop at the pharmacy and grab my anti-anxiety pills and a new inhaler.

Okay, time for more coffee! Everyone have a lovely Saturday!

I've been really struggling this week. My brain has not been good. Part of it was due to medications, because there was one that Jess and I both take, and I'd been giving it to them instead of taking it. Turns out, it was doing a lot of the heavy lifting in my brain chemistry, so I restarted it yesterday, and hopefully that'll help some.

It's just been really rough. I'm anxious and sad, and I don't know how to fix it. The dog has to go to the vet tomorrow for shots, and he's going to be all mopey and crying, and I am dreading it, because it's going to make me cry too.

The cat was off her food yesterday and hasn't eaten a ton this morning, and I'm freaking out. Because we have no money if she's sick to get her treated.

I hate this. I hate everything about it. I hate not having something to do, I hate being afraid, I hate that my brain chemistry is conspiring to make everything worse.

It's just not been good for me.

I need to get my anxiety meds filled today, because I need to settle the fuck down. I've gotta go see Dad today, so that's something to get me out of the house.

He'll be coming home in 9 days, and I'm anxious about that, too (of course). We'll have to find a new normal, while I'm still trying to find a new normal with the job, and I think it'll be a little tough.

Hopefully, the pills do their job and start fixing my brain chemistry soon. I'm starting to annoy myself.

I missed this yesterday, so today I shall do two!



1. My bed. It's soft, and fluffy and I love snuggling under the covers.

2. My spouse. We've been together for 24 years now, and I love them so much. It hasn't always been easy, but knowing that they're in my corner makes things so much better. I'm so lucky to have them in my life.

Laissez le bon temps rouler!

Welcome to a rainy morning in Maryland! Supposedly, it's going to change over to snow in the next couple of hours, but we shall see. Either way, I have to visit Dad, and pick up a king cake from the bakery, so hopefully it isn't too bad.

Yesterday was a quiet day. I did nothing exciting. I didn't even do my stated goal of working on Wednesday's game. I just surfed the internet, and did not a whole lot. In the afternoon, we did watch Aquaman 2, so I suppose I did something?

It was a bad movie. Not bad enough to not finish, but not good either. Actually, it wasn't even so much a movie as a collection of set pieces pulled from better movies, vaguely strung together into an almost coherent plot. Star Wars? Sure, lets mash the cantina scene with Jabba's Palace. Kong: Skull Island? Sure! And for our climax, lets just wholesale borrow the plot and set design from Lord of the Rings. It'll be great. Spoiler, it's not great. It's pretty bad, actually. It's filled with talented actors there to cash their checks. Of all of them, the best two parts were Randall Park and Patrick Wilson, both of whom seemed to recognize the movie they were in, and did their best with it.

Tomorrow, I'm going to get my hair trimmed, so I don't look like a total idiot when I start work in a week. The sides have gotten to the point that they're kind of sticking straight out, and I kind of hate it. And then we have game, which will be fun. It's a Valentines Day themed one shot. Seems like it'll be fun.

I'm currently trying to be good and not buy another module, no matter how cool it sounds. I need to at least finish one or more modules before I do that. I do think Strahd is winding down. They've got the sidequest they're on now, and then one other thing to do before the only thing left is facing Strahd himself. Storm Lord's Thunder is almost done, but there are a couple of follow up modules that we could do if anyone wants to. So, we'll see

Okay, I am definitely in need of more coffee now. Everyone have a terrific Tuesday, and a happy Mardi Gras!

I slept fully until 7am, no waking up at 5 and debating whether I wanted to get up. It was awesome. Today will be a busy day. We've got two games, one at 12:30, and one at 5:30, and so before then, I've gotta go see Dad. It's either that, or I'm going at 8:30 when we finish tonight and I'm definitely not in the mood to do that. So, early it is. I'm going to try to get myself together by 9:30 and get my ass moving.

Tomorrow, I'm going to attempt to get my ass in gear and finish prepping for the Valentine's Day game. I have. done absolutely nothing beyond reading the module, so I need to upload some maps, and make some character sheets for the NPCs. Then, on Wednesday, I have an appointment to get my hair cut, since next week, I have to go in office for my first day. Don't want to look like a total schlub. Oh, and on Tuesday, I have to go pick up our king cake for Mardi Gras.

We had a wonderful day yesterday. We went to the movies for a matinee to see Argylle. I know it's not gotten great reviews, but it was really delightful. It was silly and fun, and the characters were all appealing, and it had a fun twist. I can see where some people went in expecting Romancing the Stone, and only got that for like the first 40 minutes, before it switched to ( cut for a pretty big spoiler. )

After that, we went for a nice visit with Dad, who continues to be Mr. Sunshine. Not a single bitch while we were there. It was lovely. After that, it was home to change clothes for dinner.

I decided that with my Unemployment, I had enough to take the three of us out for dinner, since once Dad's home, we won't be able to do that. So, we went to the Local in White Marsh. Expensive, but oh-so good. One of their specials was poached pear sachettis with various cheeses and a parmesan sauce. It was SO good. I loved the bits of sweet with the slight sharpness of the blue cheese, and the creamy sauce. Honestly, if the meal had just been that, I'd have been happy. My sister had the cream of crab, which was excellent, and had a ton of crabmeat. Jess had the Chef's Chowder. It had blackened chicken and was a touch spicy, but so good. After much deliberating, Jess and I did the Beef Wellington, and my sister decided on a ceasar salad with steak.

They brought out my sister's salad, which looked amazing, and a moment later, a cart trundled out with a smoke filled glass dome on top. They swirled the dome around a bit, and then lifted it to reveal a double fist sized beef Wellington, which they split between Jess and I. Then, they deposited our sides, a delicious creamed corn that had just a touch of spiciness, and some parmesan potatoes.

Holy crap, it was SO good. The Wellington was so tender and tasty. The pastry was crisp, and the mushrooms cooked just right. It came with a demi glace that I wanted to lick off the plate. The parmesan potatoes were good, but the creamed corn was the best. Just a hint of spiciness to it. My sister decided that she was really in the mood for a salad, so she had the ceasar with steak tips, which were amazingly tender.

All in all, it was an amazing meal that may have ruined us for other restaurants.

Okay, time for me to go forth and get dressed so I can go see dad and get another cup of coffee. Everyone have a wonderful Sunday!

Started my day off right--by looking at my bank account and seeing that the unemployment check finally cleared. Now, it is 100% time to pay the bills, whoo.

Nothing exciting planned today. A visit to my psych doctor, but otherwise, just going to relax and take it easy (be bored). I have 10 days until my start date, and I really want it to hurry up, because. holy crap, I do not do well with nothing to do. I just pace the internet a lot, going from site to site hoping that there's something new. I am annoying the crap out of myself, so I feel for poor Jess who has to put up with me. I thought having a confirmed date would make it easier, but not so much.

Tomorrow, we're going to go out, which is good. it'll actually be a pretty busy day. Movies in the morning, go to see Dad, then a nice dinner. It's been nearly a month since we went anywhere but to see Dad, so it'll be good to get out of the house for something fun. Sunday, we have two games, which will also be fun. One we haven't been able to coordinate for a couple of months, so I'm going to have to remember what the hell we're actually doing.

Yesterday, aside from the boring parts, wasn't too bad. First, I had the appointment for a taste test with McCormick. I tested a handful of Doritos to see what flavor I liked best. It was simple, and worth $40 to them, so that's awesome. Then it was off to see Dad.

God, I like this version so much more. When I came in, the nurse asked me if I was the daughter who had talked to him about his behavior. I nervously admitted that yes, I was. She thanked me for doing it, and said that the last week, he's been an absolute sweetheart.

While I was there, I could see the difference too. Very minimal bitching. I think he mentioned that his butt hurt a bit twice, but otherwise was very easy going. I would love to know what I said that made a difference. I was not under the impression that I'd gotten through to him, so this whole switch came as a bit of a surprise.

I almost feel a little bad about it, because whatever the fuck I said apparently hit hard? And it makes me feel like I might have been a little harsh. I mean, I know whatever it was, he deserved, but I didn't mean for him to feel bad about himself.



Things that I like February: Cultural festivals. During the summer and fall, we try to hit as many festivals as we can. I love learning about other cultures via their food and crafts. (Especially their food.) We go to the Russian and Greek festivals almost every year, and I want to expand that this year. There's a Native American Pow Wow every year that I'd love to visit. I will be keeping an eye out online for things we can try. Now that I have weekends off, I can make plans to do things!

Okay, time for me to hop off and get myself some pants and more coffee. Everyone have a wonderful Friday! You've almost made it to the weekend!

Good morning on this lovely day! It's a cold, but clear morning, so that's a good thing. I again have nothing planned for the day, so I'm just going to take it easy and relax.

Bonking myself on the head seems to have pissed off my neck (in addition to my head), which is kind of annoying. I mean, it's not surprising, my neck tends to get pissy about almost anything, and between the initial impact and flinching back, I probably jerked it around pretty good. But it's still annoying.

I got my work email set up yesterday, so that's ready when I start. They must have activated my account when I first got the job, because holy shit, I had 260 emails. Most of them were trainings that I need to do. When I start, my first four weeks are all training, which is good. It gives us a few weeks to settle in with Dad home before I'm on the phone.

I'm dreading having him home. This has been such a nice break. I'm not looking forward to going back to the physical grind. Hopefully, it'll be slightly less, but I'm not holding my breath. I think it's still going to be exhausting.

He continues with project "Don't be a dick," which is nice. And he said that other residents have started to engage with him, coming over to cheer him during his rehab. Hopefully, he can keep that attitude for us.

A few dollars of my unemployment check cleared, so I paid some smaller bills, and splurged on a king cake for Tuesday. I fucking love king cakes, and I got an email last week that our local bakery was going to be selling a limited number. I was going to get two and take one to the rehab, but there was only one left when I tried to preorder, so no cake for them. I will try to take a cheesecake or something next week. They deserve a treat for putting up with him.

With the rest of unemployment check clearing on Friday, we have actual plans this weekend! I need to get new tennis shoes, since mine were a casualty of the stomach bug. I usually get Sketchers, and there's an outlet downtown. It's not far from the Original Pancake House. So, I plan to go get shoes and then go get a Dutch baby pancake.

We have no D&D scheduled until Sunday this week--I had planned to go get my covid booster on Sunday, but the stomach bug messed that up, and I just don't have the energy to do it this week. It always makes me throw up, and I have done enough of that for the moment, so it's probably going to wait a little while. I really want to get it, but the previous iterations of it kicked my ass so hard, and I've seen so many people who never had a reaction having a rough time with it, so I'm honestly a little anxious about it. Last time, I threw up three times and had a 102 fever. I'm a little scared to find out what this one does to me.

Okay, time for me to get more coffee, and maybe consider pants. I was a total sloth yesterday and never changed out of my night clothes. Everyone have a lovely Wednesday!

Okay, I feel less like death this morning, though coffee doesn't seem to be making my tummy happy. Downside, I am suffering the results of throwing up for 12 hours straight--everything fucking hurts. From the top of my head (okay, that's probably just the latent dehydration) to my hips is one band of ow. I hate noroviruses. The only thing in their favor is that they're relatively quick.

I have to get myself together, since I have a meeting at 9:20. It's just a quick thing where I show the pre-boarder my license and social security card, nothing horribly exciting, but it will mean I need to wash my face and brush my hair and put on actual clothes. Debating on a quick shower before then, but I don't know that I have that kind of energy. I will think on it.

The rest of the week, I have nothing going on. Since they confirmed that I'm staring on the 19th, that gives me two weeks to be bored.

Apparently, my yelling at Dad may have done some good? He told my sister that he's been apologizing to the nurses for being a jerk. Could have knocked me over with a feather, honestly. I mean, we'll see if it holds up, but I'll honestly take what I can get.

Aside from that, all is quiet. Everyone have an excellent Monday!

I slept in til 7! But I was up until almost 1am, so that's still not that awesome. Yesterday wasn't a bad day in the end. My sister mostly napped, so I didn't have to do much there, and Dad was in a relatively good mood.

I still yelled at him a bit, because he just cannot continue to be an ass to the staff. I think I wasted my breath, but I tried. I also told him that that shit is not going to fly once he gets home. If he's a jerk to us, there will be consequences. I don't know what they'll be yet, but I'm tired of him treating us like his fucking servants.

My preboarding coordinator sent me the official word that I don't start my new job til the 19th, boo. So, I have two more weeks to be bored. I'm sad that it'll only give me a week before Dad comes home. I was kind of hoping to have a better feel for things before we added that, but alas. I have a virtual meeting on Monday morning where I'll show my drivers license and Social Security card to the HR person. It seems weird that they don't want a copy, but I'm not going to complain about most of my shit being virtual. I'm thinking during one of the next couple of weekends, I'll take a little trip down to the office, just so I know where it is and where the parking garage is.

As far as I know, it's down near Hampden, just next to the Rotunda, but since I frequently get lost going to the Rotunda, I would like a little more familiarity.

This weekend is going to be a little busy, so maybe next weekend.

It appears that my unemployment check is on it's way? Maybe? It says the check was issued, at least. So by this time next week, I might have money? At least a little bit?

Last night, we had the Frostmaiden game that I've been waiting all month for, and it was 100% worth the wait. I had created this insanely tough battle. There's a homebrew subclass of paladin called Oath of Treachery. It's fucking bonkers. And in the finding out stage of fucking around, a year and a half ago, the players chose to leave an insanely powerful sword in the baddie's lair. It wouldn't have been a good idea to wield it, as it has a tendency to eat the wielder's soul if they go too long without killing someone to provide it with a soul to eat. But, instead of removing it from the lair and stuffing it into a bag of holding, they left it.

So, that meant that the baddie had a perfectly nice sword to give to his new paladin underling. And I used this bonkers build, and had her focus on our paladin. And within three rounds, I had killed dear Skink and eaten his soul. (They're a high level party, so it wasn't a perma-death, they brought him back the next round.) But, for the first time ever, the traits and skills that they'd used to curb stomp so many opponents came up short.

People were literally shaking and there were actual tears. And this is why I fucking love D&D. It doesn't happen all the time, but some nights the beats hit exactly right and you can take people on a rollercoaster of emotions. It was awesome. I traumatized seven people and they thanked me for it, and said it was awesome. We ended up playing til nearly 11:30, and then hung out on the phone talking for another twenty minutes, because no one wanted it to end.



Todays thing that I like is a new one for me. Jalapeños. I'd never liked them at all, and had actively avoided things with them in it. Then, a couple of weeks ago, I ate one with some nachos, and I am hooked. I want all the jalapeños now. Poppers, gimmie. Nachos smothered in them? Fuck me up. I want to make up for all the lost time.

And on that note, I'm going to take some pills and get my day started. Everyone have a wonderful Saturday!

Good morning, friends, I am awake. Sort of. I woke up at 4, and was awake, but I refused to get up that early, so I stayed put, and now I have the "you slept too much headache." Usually coffee works on that, so here's hoping.

I need this job to start soon. I'm not sure I can handle another 2 1/2 weeks til the 19th. I mean, I will if I have to, but I need to be doing something. Yesterday, I felt especially down and worthless. Right now, all I do is cost money, and it's dragging me down. I'm still holding out some small hope that I can start on the 12th, which was my original start date. The preboarding coordinator said it was a small chance, but maybe I'll be lucky. I'm going to email her today, and just touch base.

But anyway, I was very blah yesterday. I watched more Alaska youtube videos, introduced Jess to the movie Toys (which I'm running a D&D game loosely based on tonight). Then I poked at the game a bit, and scrolled aimlessly, never able to settle on one thing for more than a few minutes, and generally felt bad about myself for being a sponge.

Today, I don't have a ton planned. Either Jess or I have to go up to visit Dad, so we'll do that, and then I need to finish game prep, since I couldn't settle to that yesterday. I've got most of it done, I just need to pull a couple of more maps, and make one or two more character sheets, and it'll be good.

Tomorrow is finally Frostmaiden after a 6 week break, so I might do some more prep for that, and then tomorrow I can prep for Mad Mage on Saturday. Somehow, we ended up with five days straight of games, so that's always a good time.

And now, stolen shamelessly from dine, February is for Stuff I Love



So, something I love:

TTRPGs. I don't think I'd be exaggerating to say that these games were a lifesaver. In June of 2020, we had virtual Con.txt, and one of the attendees decided to create a TTRPG server, so fandom people could have somewhere to play. In October, we started a Monster of the Week game, which was ostensibly a one shot. Everyone (including me) had a blast, so we played again. And again. In December, I decided to run an (official) campaign (blithely ignoring that the MotW game was up to it's fourth or fifth session), and we started Frostmaiden on January first.

Aside from getting Covid twice, thanks to that server, the pandemic hasn't been nearly as bad for me as it has for others. Instead of being isolated, I've made a host of new friends, and had a regular social life. So yes, TTRPGs have been a lifeline through some shitty days, and will continue to be.

And on that note, I need more coffee. Everyone have a lovely Thursday!

Okay, feeling a little less cruddy this morning. I'm not doing brilliantly with being out of work. I feel like I'm not contributing and it's making me a little crazy, so it seemed perfectly rational to try to save money by letting one of my psych prescriptions run out. Yeah, that was a dumb thing. It turns out that med has a nasty withdrawal syndrome for me. So, I spent yesterday feeling like ass and having brain shivers. Fortunately, we were able to get it, so today I feel less shitty.

I really hate the fact that it's been 6 weeks with no income for me. I don't know people who don't have a support system are supposed to do it. Unemployment tells me it could take until mid February to be approved or denied. That'll be two full months since I was let go! And the pension can take up to 90 days, though the person at Harford County HR said it's normally about 6 weeks. So, basically, everything should come through about when I get paid from my new job, about 10 weeks after my last paycheck. Very helpful.

One semi-good thing that came out of this mess is my attitude. I'm going to be working to make money to fund doing fun things. I'll do my job, I'll do it well, but I'm going to do my best to not make it my life. It should pay enough that I can afford everything plus have a decent amount left over to stuff away for future vacations/emergencies.

That's the other good thing. I've decided that I can't put my life on hold anymore for my family. I love them, but I want more than this for both Jess and for myself. We deserve more. So, it's time to work towards that.



In other news, I'm not sure how I ever thought I might be neurotypical. I have basically bounced from hyperfocus to hyperfocus my entire adult life, which I have been told is not particularly normal. At the moment, my focus seems to be future vacations, so yay?

Okay, time to go forth and grab another cup of coffee. I've gotta go see Dad today, so I need the caffeination. Everyone have a wonderful Tuesday!