And then, there's a bearded fetus.

We've made it to Friday!! Whoohoo!

Yesterday was a long day. My sister went over to the hospital at 10am to visit with Dad and to inform the doctor that if he is extubated and crashes, they're to let him go. They immediately wanted to extubate, and Jess went back over to be there while I worked.

The extubation went well, they told him to cough, and he did, and the tube was out. He was still a little scattered, but he could handle basic commands, but all he'd say was "shit." Which, I mean, fair. I wanted to say shit a lot, too.

By the time I picked up my sister at 4:30, he was doing well. He'd told her that he loved her, and the dog. (and the rest of us, too.). His voice is scratchy and high from the tube, so my sister says he sounds like a one of the Munchkins from the Wizard of Oz. His favorite word at the moment is "no." Which again, fair. "Can I suction some of the snot out of your mouth?" "No."

We'll see how it goes, I guess. For the moment, he's alive and seems relatively with it. How with it? We'll find out as time goes on. But it's more than I thought we'd get.

Now I just need to figure out who is going to see him this weekend. I figure I'll probably go on Sunday, since I have work today and then game. And then on Saturday, I have head spa, then game.
It's not quite as heavy a game weekend as it could be. Just one game on Saturday.

Okay, time for me to go forth and get myself ready for work. Everyone have a most excellent Friday!

We're at the halfway point, y'all. I actually slept a bit last night, so I'm a little more with it today.

Yesterday, I kind of hit the wall. The shit with dad has been going on for 8 days with only slight improvement, my sister is being a total Pollyanna and now my cat is missing a fang. It culminated with me realizing that I had to cancel my head spa appointment, because I might need that money for the cat. And I hit the land of done. I was just done. I can't handle one more thing right now.

So, of course I had my Quality meeting to go over all the ways I've messed up calls this month. I was good and professional, and explained that I have not been my best most of this month on account of Dad issues. My Quality Partner was very sweet, and understanding, but I still felt guilty that I haven't been doing as well as I should.

So at bedtime I cried a little, and I feel a little better today. Still sad and frustrated, but slightly better.

My sister has told me to remake my headspa appointment and dad will pay for the cat, but I don't know if I should. I feel guilty. Which should not come as a shock to anyone.

Today, the people are coming to trim our tree, so that'll be a fun day. Dog's gonna be barky, I'm going to be trying to work to the dulcet sounds of the chain saw. At least we have game tonight to distract me.

Tomorrow and Friday, my sister is off work, so that'll also be fun. She did pretty well last time she was off about not being loud while I was on the phone, so hopefully, she'll continue.

Okay, time for me to get myself together for work. Everyone have a wonderful Wednesday!

Happy Monday y'all! I'm so glad the internet is back up. Not working Thursday and Friday threw off my routine, and I was feeling out of sorts all weekend. I guess because I felt like I *should* be working.

After a busy Saturday, I slept in a little while and dragged out of bed at 8:30. Not quite sure why I didn't sleep later, but oh well. After some whining that I regret, I went to see Dad. He was pretty calm today, until they came in to suction him out. He's back on Eliquis, so he's bleeding a bit from the mouth where the tube is irritating his tongue. Hopefully, they can get that out soon.

I sat for a while and chatted with his nurse, who was very nice. They seem to think he's improving, though he's still really swollen with fluid. I was holding his hand and it felt like holding a rubber glove that's been made into a water balloon. A little disconcerting.

Then, we came home and I relaxed for an hour and Jess cooked a couple of chicken breasts for a quick lunch before we had to leave for the farm to get our meat.

The farm was a long and somewhat terrifying drive. Most of it was no big deal. We got up to Frederick easily. Then, we got on Rt 40, and it's a long, somewhat winding road. Then, you turn off the long winding road onto a narrow twisting road. We're in rural MD, so *everyone* has giant trucks, and most of them with trailers of some sort. I cannot count how many times I had to nearly drive off the road to avoid getting hit by these things. I was white knuckling most of the way.

Finally, we got to the farm, and it was all good. We got to meat the farm dog, Barrell, who was a gorgeous blue tick coonhound mix. All puppy, wanting to jump and nibble on fingers. He was adorable. The owner of the farm, Julie was very gracious and kind. She got our meat, and offered us each a lemonade that was left over from her morning farmer's markets. Shiso orange mint lemonade. SO fucking good. It's almost worth haunting the DC farmers market for this shit. Should anyone in MD want to check it out, they're at Evensong Farm. It's a woman owned business, and they do these beef shares once a year, and the lemonade year round. (The lemonade they do ship, so I'll probably be putting in an order soon.

The drive home was a little bit easier, as we came out a different way that wasn't so insane, but then we did hit traffic, which was kind of annoying. We stopped for dinner, trusting that the amount of ice we put in this cooler was going to take care of the steaks (spoiler, it did) and then came home and flopped over.

Today, work, and Jess will go see Dad. Then, I shall make two of those steaks and see what we're working with. All in all, we got a 5lb brisket, a 3lb chuck roast, a beef shoulder roast, 2lbs of beef shank, two pounds of minute steaks, two big rib steaks, and two NY strip steaks. It totalled about 25lbs, and ended up being about $13/lb, but I chose one of the more expensive cuts. The smaller ones were about $10/lb. Also, this is beef that was dry aged for about 25 days, which definitely drives up the price a bit.

Tonight, we shall cook the rib steak and the NY strips and see how they are. Looking forward to it! For now, I shall go forth and put on pants. Everyone have an excellent Monday!

Things continue here at Casa Beanside.

The internet is back. The tech came out yesterday and strung a new line, so we once again have wonderful, wonderful internet. Our tree had apparently taken out the other line. I was terrified that we'd have to wait until the tree was taken down, but no, he was a rock star and restrung it away from the tree.

It appears that my sister might be getting an offer from the place that's buying out her site, but no clue whether it'll be for less money. Since the whole reason they're changing companies is a better price, it would not surprise me if they're going to try to low ball the whole operation. She's planning to put in some resumes anyway, just in case. If they don't hire her, she'll get some manner of severance. Probably nothing much.

Dad is still the same. Maybe some slight bits of progress, but fundamentally the same. Still on the ventilator. They tried him unhooked from it for a few minutes yesterday, but apparently he did so poorly, they put it right back on and did a chest xray to see what was going on. Apparently, segments of both lungs are collapsed. Also, he's puffing up like the Staypuft Marshmallow man with fluid. Which could be part of the problem with the lungs. They're giving him Lasix like it's water, but I don't know how much of a change there's been. His white count is down to 13, which means the infection is improving. The problem is that the rest of his numbers still look crappy. So the infection might have started the cascade, but it seems like what's going on now is independent of it.

I don't know if we're still doing the right thing. They've taken him off sedation in the hopes of getting him off the vent, so he's somewhat aware now, and I hate that. He was having tachycardia yesterday, and the doctor mentioned offhandedly to the nurse that it's probably because he's afraid.

I don't want him to be afraid.

I spent time yesterday looking up stats for people who were on the vent this long and had ARDS (Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome) and it wasn't great. The vent alone has a 30-40% mortality rate, going higher the older you are. Only 33% of patients last longer than a year. ARDS has according to google a 35-95% mortality rate, which is very helpful, thanks google. That's a hell of a range.

I think we started out with the right idea, I just feel like the situation has changed, and we need to reevaluate things soon.

My sister is going to the hospital today, so hopefully, she'll get some updated information. The downside of that is that she's very much a pollyanna, so anything she hears is going to be filtered through the "sun'll come up tomorrow" bullshit.

I need a realistic prognosis at this point. Are we still working towards a goal, or are we just treading water?

I don't want to be the one to say that we need to pull the plug, but if that's what we need to do, I will.

Okay, time for me to go re-read the module I'm dming in 5.5 hours. Everyone have an amazing Saturday!

Things continue to happen so much this week. Dad is doing a bit better, they've decreased the number. of drugs he's on to keep his blood pressure from tanking, and they're hoping he can get off the vent soon. Now I can move to worrying how fucked up he's going to be after this.

We were sitting there, after we'd all gotten home, and suddenly, the internet went out, and no amount of turning it off and on helped to bring it back up. So, we have no internet. And they can't come out til Friday. So, I'm taking two days off from work, and just taking it easy.

Today, we have an order from the butcher and another one from the grocery store coming, so that'll be good. Then at some point during the weekend, we'll go pick up the meat from the farm. I have to email them to see when we can come.

I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with myself while I'm off. I suppose prep for the two games I have on Saturday.

We ended up cancelling last night's game. One, I didn't feel like I had the brain power left to GM, and then of course, the internet crapped out. Hopefully whatever's wrong with the verizon box is easily fixable.

Later, I'm going to call the funeral home and prepay for Dad. It doesn't look like he's dying now, but we'd rather have everything set up for when it does happen.

And on that note, it's time for me to hop off and go grab a shower. If I'm going to be visiting dad, it might be good if I'm not stinky. Everyone have an excellent Thursday!

It's Tuesday, thankfully. Yesterday happened SO much.

When I said it was going to be a long Monday, I was prophetic. Way, way too prophetic. I went to work and was taking calls like normal. Then, I heard Jess telling dad that they needed to change his diaper. That's hard to do solo on the best of days, so I put myself into break and went to help. After we changed him, he threw up again, and shortly thereafter, started typing on an invisible tablet and arguing with Jess about when they pointed out that there was nothing there. Time for Grippy Socks!

I called 911, and the ambulance came out. They took his vitals and found low oxygen, fast pulse and high fever. They disparaged our set up for the oxygen (the hose is too long) and put him on theirs, which also failed to bring up the levels. (They shut the fuck up.) A minute later, a second ambulance arrives. One that I recognized as an ALS unit (advanced life support). Soon after, more people come to help get him out of the house. They get him out and I go back to work.

A little bit later, my sister texts that he's very sick, and not breathing well. They've put him on a ventilator to help him breathe until he can perk up. (Dad had a DNR, but I'm okay with my sister agreeing to it, since it was presented as a stopgap until the antibiotics kick in.) Since then, we've watched as they fight to keep his blood pressure up and generally to keep things on an even keel.

This morning, his labs look a little concerning. The one that measures heart damage is skyrocketing, and I'm wondering if this was all because of a heart attack. We'll see. I'm going to call them shortly for an update.

I'm going to work, and Jess is going to go to the hospital, and visit for a while. My sister may go over tonight, depending. I will probably go over tomorrow when I get off from work. We're supposed to have a game tomorrow, but that is 100% dad dependent.

And on that note, time to call and see how things are going and maybe put some pants on for work. Everyone have a wonderful Tuesday!

It's Sunday! Sadly, my sister got up at the same basic time as Jess and I, so this is going to be a difficult one to write, because she is talking nonstop.

Plus, I was unmedicated as I ran out of Vyvanse yesterday and forgot to pick it up during the rush to get out. I got my ass dressed and grabbed it just now, so hopefully, it kicks in quickly.

Yesterday was good. I worked for 4 hours, which was mostly quiet, and then got myself together to go see poisontaster. Originally we were going to a sandwich place, but then PT was complaining that Frederick had gotten so much better food than they had before, including a Korean BBQ. So, we decided to go there and it was an excellent choice.

The drive up was easy save for some gawking at an accident on the other side of the road. We still made it to the restaurant about 15 min early, so that was good. I gotta say, I'm used to some all you can eat places where they bring out small plates of food, so you end up ordering a lot. This one, GogiGo did not. They brought out big ass trays piled with meat. We managed two rounds of meat before we tapped out. The standouts were the LA Galbi, the Hawaiian Bulgogi and the Garlic Pork Belly. The Brisket and Steak and regular Bulgogi were good, don't get me wrong. But those three were especially tasty. And of course, the company was amazing. It's always wonderful to get to spend face time with people who I love and don't get to see that often.

The drive home was less fun, as we were in a storm or racing to stay just ahead of the storm the whole way home. But we made it home with no problems and were snug in the house by the time the rain really hit.

After a little while, I went downstairs, because my hips hurt from sitting at work, then in the car, then on the chairs at the BBQ place, which were hard wooden chairs and not at all comfy. Then, I fell asleep and woke up just in time for bed.

I watched Summerslam while I waited for the sleep fairy to return, and it reminded me why I used to be so into wrestling. Also, Damian Priest looks hotter every time I see him. If I was still writing, I would totally be slashing him and Finn Balor all over the place.

Okay, time for me to have breakfast. My Mexican Breakfast bowl is nearly here. Everyone have a wonderful Sunday!

Morning came a little bit earlier than I wanted it too, but it's all good. I've got my coffee and my computer, so I'll deal. Tiny bit of a headache, but I took some ibuprofen, and it'll get better. Of course, the sister is very chatty this morning so that's not doing wonders for it either.

But it's Fri-yay! We have Frostmaiden tonight, and tomorrow we're going to go meet with poisontaster for lunch! It's going to be a good weekend!

Still no word from the farm, so I guess we won't be going to get the meat this weekend, which is sad. I really wanted my dry aged beef. Unless I get something today, I suppose. If I don't get something soon, I'll have to go up one day during the week when I get off work, which is going to suck, since it's about an hour and a half drive. If it comes through today, it would be lovely, because the farm is about 20 minutes from where we're meeting poisontaster in Frederick, so that would be ideal.

I do have work tomorrow, so more OT whooo! I'm really enjoying the extra $$ on my check. It's nice. And it's an easy shift. I get around 11 calls, usually very chill. It can be a little boring, but it's okay.

Sunday, we have another game in the evening, and during the day I assume my sister will do some laundry.

Okay, time for me to get myself together for work. Everyone have an amazing Friday!

"Whoa, we're halfway there..." It's Wednesday y'all! Let's see what today brings! (Honestly, the last 10 days has been so buck wild in politics, maybe I shouldn't say that. But sure, lets see)

Yesterday was busy at work, but not horrible. I took 50 calls, which isn't bad. I still had some quiet stretches where I could not talk. I got someone who had a breast lump in for a mammo same day, which always makes me happy. She had called on Monday and I sent a message to put her on the wait list, but then I was scheduling another patient for the same thing. She took an appointment on Friday, but I saw that same day appt, so the moment I got off the phone, I pulled up her chart and gave her a call. And I was able to put her right in. I sent a message to the add on email to let them know that I was able to pull it off. Soon after, I got kudos from my manager, which is another case of "why?" I mean, she was my patient. I had the email in my inbox where the site said "we've got nothing." Why was it surprising that I'd remember that the patient needed an appointment?

The doggo is having allergies like whoa, and I wasn't able to get him an appointment until Tuesday at his normal vet. I'm going to try an online vet. We'll see how that goes. He's just so itchy and uncomfortable, and I feel bad for him. Last night, I was ready to go to the ER vet, but he perked up, so we waited.

My paycheck will be about $200 more than usual thanks to my overtime, which is not bad at all. I'll definitely take it. I'm working on this Saturday, and then off for two weeks, then working the last two of August. Unless people aren't able to work, in which case I'll pick up a couple of more shifts. I'm nothing if not flexible.

We have Blades in the Dark tonight, which will be fun. The team is in the middle of a heist, so we'll pick that up and see where they go with it.

When it comes to being the DM/GM, I'm definitely a rule of cool DM, in that the rules have a certain amount of flexibility if my players want to do something truly awesome. I'm also a fuck around and find out DM. I will remember the shit you pulled three years ago, and it will come back to haunt you. I say this apropos of nothing, obviously.

Still checking my email every five minutes to see if my beef share is ready yet. I want. I have been dying for a really good steak, so I'm planning to choose the bag that contains a nice ribeye or two.

I will say, after buying locally sourced meat, I'm having a really hard time contemplating ordering from Aldi or Costco again. It was such a profound difference in taste and texture. Since the first round of Covid in 2020, meats have been dicey, with pork and chicken frequently tasting vaguely rancid. So far, none of the farm raised stuff has tasted bad. It's all tasted like normal everyday meat.

Okay, time for me to get myself together for work. Everyone have a wonderful Wednesday!

Somehow, Monday has returned. I can't bitch because it was an excellent weekend. I had a lot of fun, and relaxed some. It was a good time.

Today shall be busy at work, then psych appointment, then they're coming to get the old car, so a somewhat busy evening. Then I will probably go to work to deposit the check or cash that they give me for the car.

With the psych appointment, I'm debating on a slight increase in the dose of the Vyvanse. On one hand, I love what this has done. I'm much less irritable and prone to getting overstimulated. On the other, since it hasn't jacked my blood pressure, I'm wondering if a slightly higher dose would help even more. He actually started me below the normal dose to verify that it wouldn't fuck up anything else, so there's plenty of room to go up. The max dose is 70mg, and I'm currently on 20. Normal start dose is 30.

I figure it can't hurt. If it does nothing, I drop back to 20mg next month. If my BP is a problem, I drop back to 20 immediately. At worst, it costs me an extra copay. (Which will suck, because this shit is expensive. But I'm willing to take the shot, because I almost feel normal.

I have energy to care and the focus to do something about the caring. Granted, it's also revealing that I'm the crunchy kind of queer who's all about buying local food and supporting small business, and possibly volunteering for a candidate? Yeesh.

Yesterday, I went out to get a couple of things of meat, and since I didn't feel like wandering the full farmers market for a roast and maybe some chicken breasts, I tried a new place. Bowman Butchers in Harford County. It was a long ride, but not a horribly bad ride, and before too long, I arrived at a small red building. It was tiny inside, maybe a 15x15 foot room. There was a couple in front of me, who were getting one of their "meat bundles" which certainly sounded interesting. It took a while to get that together, and another dude came in behind me. Mine also took forever, as I asked for ribs, and the counter staff, of which there was one, had to go get me ribs.

It was not cheap, I will admit. But we have meats for the week, at which point our share of beef should come in and we'll be driving to Frederick to get that.

Dad was especially annoying yesterday. The Vyvanse could only tamp my annoyance down so much. We did get him up, and then he had difficulty getting out of the chair. Which was terrifying. I thought we were going to be calling the ambulance to come get him up. Hopefully, he's a little less sleepy today. We checked his oxygen sats and his pulse, and they were perfectly normal, so who knows what his issue was.

Okay, time to get myself together. Everyone have the very best Monday!