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beansideIt's Thursday! We've almost made it to Friday!
Yesterday was a momentous day. The house is officially sold. The albatross is gone. The house that felt like my personal antagonist. (By the end, when there were problems, it felt like it was having problems at me personally.) Perversely, I'm having feelings about it.
I feel relieved, because it's over, but also a bit sad. It had been my grandparent's house since before I was born. We lived there until I was two with them, and then went to the apartments, which were literally around the corner. Then, when I was 17, we moved back in to take care of my grandmother. I'm 52 now, so that's better than half my life tied up in one place.
I remember it how it was, sparkling clean. All the years of Christmas morning, going over to open our pile of presents in front of my parents and grand parents, followed by the parade of family and friends. And all the animals that house saw. Tammy, Freddy, Sandy, Tigger, Flakey, Willow, Millie, Gracie, Mao, Samwise, Koty, Kyan, Tucker down to our current pair, Boodle and Yoda. All those memories. So many good things are bound up in those four walls.
But lately, there's been more bad things than good. Watching my grandmother die, my mother's death, Dad's slow deterioration. The flood in the basement, the heat being turned off for three long painful winters. The constant fear that if something happened, we wouldn't be able to afford it. The fear every rain or snow that this would be the time the roof leaked. It was a constant stressor. And with Dad taking up most of our time and energy, cleaning wasn't even a vague possibility. We spent our lives in constant filth, and no one had the spoons left to do anything about it.
Since we moved, so many physical symptoms have eased up. my asthma has improved, my anxiety, though still there, has gotten better.
Still, I feel wistful for what was and for now, what will never be again. I hope the new owners do an amazing job of refurbishing it. I hope it holds another family soon, and I hope they have good years in it. I'm just going to miss the good things that we had.
Tomorrow, I get off work early, and go to the hair dresser to see if she can make my hair look cool. It's way too long at the moment, but I haven't been able to afford to get it cut. I'm also getting it colored, because a vacation from gray sounds lovely. I will post a picture tomorrow, once it's done.
Then, we go to pick up Jess' new computer, and have dinner, and then come home. We're trying out Rodizigo Grill, which is an all you can eat Brazillian steakhouse. I'm looking at it as a possibility for the get together in August. It's a little cheaper than Fogo, so I want to see how the food stacks up.
Okay, time for me to get myself together. Everyone have an amazing Thursday!
Yesterday was a momentous day. The house is officially sold. The albatross is gone. The house that felt like my personal antagonist. (By the end, when there were problems, it felt like it was having problems at me personally.) Perversely, I'm having feelings about it.
I feel relieved, because it's over, but also a bit sad. It had been my grandparent's house since before I was born. We lived there until I was two with them, and then went to the apartments, which were literally around the corner. Then, when I was 17, we moved back in to take care of my grandmother. I'm 52 now, so that's better than half my life tied up in one place.
I remember it how it was, sparkling clean. All the years of Christmas morning, going over to open our pile of presents in front of my parents and grand parents, followed by the parade of family and friends. And all the animals that house saw. Tammy, Freddy, Sandy, Tigger, Flakey, Willow, Millie, Gracie, Mao, Samwise, Koty, Kyan, Tucker down to our current pair, Boodle and Yoda. All those memories. So many good things are bound up in those four walls.
But lately, there's been more bad things than good. Watching my grandmother die, my mother's death, Dad's slow deterioration. The flood in the basement, the heat being turned off for three long painful winters. The constant fear that if something happened, we wouldn't be able to afford it. The fear every rain or snow that this would be the time the roof leaked. It was a constant stressor. And with Dad taking up most of our time and energy, cleaning wasn't even a vague possibility. We spent our lives in constant filth, and no one had the spoons left to do anything about it.
Since we moved, so many physical symptoms have eased up. my asthma has improved, my anxiety, though still there, has gotten better.
Still, I feel wistful for what was and for now, what will never be again. I hope the new owners do an amazing job of refurbishing it. I hope it holds another family soon, and I hope they have good years in it. I'm just going to miss the good things that we had.
Tomorrow, I get off work early, and go to the hair dresser to see if she can make my hair look cool. It's way too long at the moment, but I haven't been able to afford to get it cut. I'm also getting it colored, because a vacation from gray sounds lovely. I will post a picture tomorrow, once it's done.
Then, we go to pick up Jess' new computer, and have dinner, and then come home. We're trying out Rodizigo Grill, which is an all you can eat Brazillian steakhouse. I'm looking at it as a possibility for the get together in August. It's a little cheaper than Fogo, so I want to see how the food stacks up.
Okay, time for me to get myself together. Everyone have an amazing Thursday!
