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beansideWe got the call from the hospice at 4am--dad's gone. They went in to check on him and give him meds and he'd passed peacefully in his sleep.
I'm so profoundly grateful to the hospice that accepted him. They had him by lunchtime, and as they brought him in, gurgling and agitated and in pain (because the hospital really sucked and didn't give him pain meds before transport) the manager of the hospice floor took one look, and said "oh hell no," and left her desk to give him one on one support. She got him settled, cleaned him up, including suctioning his mouth and throat out so he wasn't drowning in his own snot. They got him morphined up and on other meds to make him feel better. Then, she noticed his belly was a bit distended, and she put in a foley catheter, which immediately drained over a liter of urine. She continued to check on him all day, and when we arrived, she came in and talked to us, held our hand through it all. And he was so much more peaceful. A little rattle, but not much more than a little snore, and relaxed in his very nice bed. It was night and day. The nurse warned us that he was probably going to go in the next 24 hours, and she was right. At least thanks to the last visit, my final memory of my father isn't going to be him agitated and in pain like he was in the hospital.
I'm so incandescently angry with Franklin Square. This entire trip was a clusterfuck. From missing his DNR and intubating to lying to us about the duration of the intubation (just a couple of days til the antibiotics kick in). I feel like that was a 100% cover their asses move. If we agreed to keep the vent in, they were absolved legally. Cynically, I don't know if he was ever going to be a viable patient, or if they were just trying to keep us from suing.
A special fuck you to the Fourth Floor Med/Surg wing, who put him in a room and did nothing for a week. And to the doctor who "knew just how to get him into hospice" and undermedicated him shamefully. He spent the last five days of his life in pain and probably afraid, because they couldn't be bothered.
We're doing okay. Sad, but thanks to that last visit, and knowing that he was taken care of when he died, we're feeling pretty okay. I'm taking today and Friday off work. Might as well use my bereavement time.
Mostly, I just feel weird. After years of resenting him and the situation, we're basically free. It's a strange feeling.
I know dad was mostly agnostic the last 10 years of his life, so I hope he found whatever afterlife he wanted, or has found rest.
And now, I'm going to take a nap. Everyone have an wonderful Thursday.
I'm so profoundly grateful to the hospice that accepted him. They had him by lunchtime, and as they brought him in, gurgling and agitated and in pain (because the hospital really sucked and didn't give him pain meds before transport) the manager of the hospice floor took one look, and said "oh hell no," and left her desk to give him one on one support. She got him settled, cleaned him up, including suctioning his mouth and throat out so he wasn't drowning in his own snot. They got him morphined up and on other meds to make him feel better. Then, she noticed his belly was a bit distended, and she put in a foley catheter, which immediately drained over a liter of urine. She continued to check on him all day, and when we arrived, she came in and talked to us, held our hand through it all. And he was so much more peaceful. A little rattle, but not much more than a little snore, and relaxed in his very nice bed. It was night and day. The nurse warned us that he was probably going to go in the next 24 hours, and she was right. At least thanks to the last visit, my final memory of my father isn't going to be him agitated and in pain like he was in the hospital.
I'm so incandescently angry with Franklin Square. This entire trip was a clusterfuck. From missing his DNR and intubating to lying to us about the duration of the intubation (just a couple of days til the antibiotics kick in). I feel like that was a 100% cover their asses move. If we agreed to keep the vent in, they were absolved legally. Cynically, I don't know if he was ever going to be a viable patient, or if they were just trying to keep us from suing.
A special fuck you to the Fourth Floor Med/Surg wing, who put him in a room and did nothing for a week. And to the doctor who "knew just how to get him into hospice" and undermedicated him shamefully. He spent the last five days of his life in pain and probably afraid, because they couldn't be bothered.
We're doing okay. Sad, but thanks to that last visit, and knowing that he was taken care of when he died, we're feeling pretty okay. I'm taking today and Friday off work. Might as well use my bereavement time.
Mostly, I just feel weird. After years of resenting him and the situation, we're basically free. It's a strange feeling.
I know dad was mostly agnostic the last 10 years of his life, so I hope he found whatever afterlife he wanted, or has found rest.
And now, I'm going to take a nap. Everyone have an wonderful Thursday.
no subject
Date: 2024-08-30 02:57 pm (UTC)