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beansideAs usual, I am up super early for no reason. I woke up at 5:30, and got out of bed. Not quite sure why. Oh well, it happens. It is currently a balmy 18 degrees out. Putting the dog out was very chilly this morning. It's actually supposed to get above freezing for the first time in a week, so I'm hoping some of the snow clears up a little. It would be nice not to have to inch down the driveway. Jess, bless them, shoveled, but our shovel is shitty and they couldn't get down to pavement, so there's a thin layer of snow.
Tomorrow I go for my pre-employment physical with Hopkins. As I mentioned last week, they will do vaccines, so we'll see what they want to give me, and how much that sucks afterwards. Hopefully, I won't have a big reaction to any of them, but I don't have anything planned for the rest of the week aside from games, so if I feel punky, I can take it easy. My appointment is at 11:30, so I'll be there by 11, just in case there's paperwork to fill out.
Today, I have nothing exciting planned. Going to relax and be bored and probably start travel planning to send us to Outer Mongolia at the rate I'm going. (God, I hope that my background check comes in soon, so that I can have the earlier start date. I might lose my mind in that extra week.)
We had game yesterday, and then went to see Dad, which is always fun. He's starting to get grumpy about being stuck in rehab, asking us to "spring him." Which just serves to piss me off. And if he does it again, I will drive up there to yell at him. I don't want to get to the point I was, where I disliked him intensely, and didn't want to be around him, so I will be putting my foot down hard if he starts that shit. As far as I know, he's still working in therapy, so he's a step ahead of where he was.
Selfishly, I want him to get better so we're not quite so tied down to the house. I have things I want to do, and he has to be moderately functional for those. Though I'll admit, there's a large part of me that is like "my sister will have to figure it out, we're going."
Since I was 22, I've gone from caretaking my grandmother to caretaking my mother, and now caretaking my father. I feel like I've been waiting for my life to begin for thirty years, and I think I've had enough. I'm going to be making enough money that we can afford to do things, and I want to do them all. I'm 51, and I've spent most of my life on obligation. I want to spend the next 40 years doing things that are interesting to us.
Also, I hate that Jess has to be Dad's primary caretaker. Hate it. It feelsl ike a personal failing, that they have to deal with a cranky old man as their full time (unpaid) job.
This time with him in rehab has been a very nice break. Even with having to schlep up to the center every day, it's been a good break physically and mentally.
Okay, time for me to go forth and get some more coffee. Everyone have a lovely Monday.
Tomorrow I go for my pre-employment physical with Hopkins. As I mentioned last week, they will do vaccines, so we'll see what they want to give me, and how much that sucks afterwards. Hopefully, I won't have a big reaction to any of them, but I don't have anything planned for the rest of the week aside from games, so if I feel punky, I can take it easy. My appointment is at 11:30, so I'll be there by 11, just in case there's paperwork to fill out.
Today, I have nothing exciting planned. Going to relax and be bored and probably start travel planning to send us to Outer Mongolia at the rate I'm going. (God, I hope that my background check comes in soon, so that I can have the earlier start date. I might lose my mind in that extra week.)
We had game yesterday, and then went to see Dad, which is always fun. He's starting to get grumpy about being stuck in rehab, asking us to "spring him." Which just serves to piss me off. And if he does it again, I will drive up there to yell at him. I don't want to get to the point I was, where I disliked him intensely, and didn't want to be around him, so I will be putting my foot down hard if he starts that shit. As far as I know, he's still working in therapy, so he's a step ahead of where he was.
Selfishly, I want him to get better so we're not quite so tied down to the house. I have things I want to do, and he has to be moderately functional for those. Though I'll admit, there's a large part of me that is like "my sister will have to figure it out, we're going."
Since I was 22, I've gone from caretaking my grandmother to caretaking my mother, and now caretaking my father. I feel like I've been waiting for my life to begin for thirty years, and I think I've had enough. I'm going to be making enough money that we can afford to do things, and I want to do them all. I'm 51, and I've spent most of my life on obligation. I want to spend the next 40 years doing things that are interesting to us.
Also, I hate that Jess has to be Dad's primary caretaker. Hate it. It feelsl ike a personal failing, that they have to deal with a cranky old man as their full time (unpaid) job.
This time with him in rehab has been a very nice break. Even with having to schlep up to the center every day, it's been a good break physically and mentally.
Okay, time for me to go forth and get some more coffee. Everyone have a lovely Monday.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-22 03:06 pm (UTC)I think it's reasonable to want your dad to stick with a program that's actually helping him improve - it's not selfish at all to wish you (and Jess) could be free of some of the 24/7 caregiving obligation, so you could enjoy some interesting, fun stuff just for you. I was thinking about you the other day when I saw an ad for Holland America cruises, and thought of you guys cruising up to Alaska or around the Caribbean. have fun on your research, and find a wonderful way to escape