![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beansideWe're past hump day and sliding towards the weekend! Yay! Last night, we played Blades in the Dark, which was a lot of fun. The team has been fucking around for about 5 heists, and now it was time for the finding out mission. And OMG, the rolls were SO bad. I think we had maybe three unqualified successes and one critical success. The team got through it, but it was dicey, and there's going. to be blowback from it, because it was not the stealth mission you'd expect from a team of Shadows. Mind you, I did not help with that part, throwing up a pile of roadblocks to their success. It doesn't really seem to matter what game system I use. At some point during the game, entirely unintentionally, we're going to get the metaphorical Indiana Jones theme music playing. My GM style is just suited to adventure, I guess.
That's what happened with Frostmaiden, too. The first few months, I tried to play it straight--as a survival horror game. But, it was the pandemic, and none of us wanted that, including me. So, I dropped some mechanics that weren't working for us (Exposure and Frostbite, nice to know you) and then shifted it away from the horror-survival to more of a Princess Bride feel. It's now been running for just shy of three years, and the players are 19th level, and by their request, we're continuing the game past the end of the module.
Yesterday was okay. One semi-rough call, but otherwise okay. My scores didn't show that, of course. My shift manager has suggested that I speak with my trainer to see what she thinks would improve my scores. So, I may attempt that. I looked back at my first week on the phones, and I was getting better scores then than I am now. I know I'm better than I was then. It's just since she's gotten it into her head that I suddenly can do no right. I'm not looking forward to this discussion at all.
I just wish I'd gotten one of the other trainers. Her trainees are just as raw as I am, but she doesn't get frustrated with them, and I doubt their reviews look like mine. I hear them fucking up words, or paraphrasing instructions all the time, and she doesn't so much as blink. Whereas I say something out of order, and it's a 2.
I know I'm not perfect. I know I'm not the trainee she wanted. It's obvious. I frustrate her. And it shows, and that's not helping me. Her jumping up and telling me what to do knocks me off my rhythm, and then I make mistakes and then another 2. Or giving me incomplete instructions. "Tell him to go to the precinct on Main street." So I do. But I wasn't sure if that meant to process the call through the protocol or just close that and add to the narrative. Then I get shit for "freezing." I wouldn't have frozen if she'd said "Okay, tell him to go there, then process the call as usual." Then, I would have been fine.
I had two fairly good calls yesterday. Both were utterly shitty situations, and indeed, I had my first death by suicide. Oddly that one didn't bother me as much as the ones where someone is so nice, but is obviously hving a mental health crisis, and even that wasn't that bad. Still setting up therapy appointments as promised, but so far, I've been okay.
Okay, time to head out. Everyone have a lovely Thursday!
That's what happened with Frostmaiden, too. The first few months, I tried to play it straight--as a survival horror game. But, it was the pandemic, and none of us wanted that, including me. So, I dropped some mechanics that weren't working for us (Exposure and Frostbite, nice to know you) and then shifted it away from the horror-survival to more of a Princess Bride feel. It's now been running for just shy of three years, and the players are 19th level, and by their request, we're continuing the game past the end of the module.
Yesterday was okay. One semi-rough call, but otherwise okay. My scores didn't show that, of course. My shift manager has suggested that I speak with my trainer to see what she thinks would improve my scores. So, I may attempt that. I looked back at my first week on the phones, and I was getting better scores then than I am now. I know I'm better than I was then. It's just since she's gotten it into her head that I suddenly can do no right. I'm not looking forward to this discussion at all.
I just wish I'd gotten one of the other trainers. Her trainees are just as raw as I am, but she doesn't get frustrated with them, and I doubt their reviews look like mine. I hear them fucking up words, or paraphrasing instructions all the time, and she doesn't so much as blink. Whereas I say something out of order, and it's a 2.
I know I'm not perfect. I know I'm not the trainee she wanted. It's obvious. I frustrate her. And it shows, and that's not helping me. Her jumping up and telling me what to do knocks me off my rhythm, and then I make mistakes and then another 2. Or giving me incomplete instructions. "Tell him to go to the precinct on Main street." So I do. But I wasn't sure if that meant to process the call through the protocol or just close that and add to the narrative. Then I get shit for "freezing." I wouldn't have frozen if she'd said "Okay, tell him to go there, then process the call as usual." Then, I would have been fine.
I had two fairly good calls yesterday. Both were utterly shitty situations, and indeed, I had my first death by suicide. Oddly that one didn't bother me as much as the ones where someone is so nice, but is obviously hving a mental health crisis, and even that wasn't that bad. Still setting up therapy appointments as promised, but so far, I've been okay.
Okay, time to head out. Everyone have a lovely Thursday!
