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beansideI'm really glad this week is over. It's been a really long frustrating week. Mostly frustration with myself, but also a bit with my trainer.
We had a chat yesterday. She pulled me off the floor for the "what can I do to help you?" speech. I told her that I felt like by jumping in so often, she was making me more discouraged and making it harder for me to come back on the next call, because I felt like I was going to screw up again. I also said that I felt like the academy was way too big, because we didn't get the practice that we should have. And that the women who came in from the Aberdeen police dept should have been in a different class, because they're light years ahead of us. They've had four years of dispatch, and time using the CAD system. I said that putting us with one of them was kind of not fair to any of us. I'm holding her back, she's making me feel bad about my skills, and the trainer is kind of stuck in the middle, trying to balance differing access needs.
I pointed out that we got 20 minutes of phone explanation, and I feel like that's hurt me, and that we didn't really get a description of what the departments do. So when she says to transfer someone to CID, I not only don't know what CID is, I don't even know what it stands for.
The rest of the day, she typed and I talked, and that went smoothly, so we'll see what today holds.
I realized that I haven't been pretending I'm good at it, so I'm going to try to do that today. I've got the individual steps, but I need to put them all together. So, I'm going to do my best today. If it works, I swear, I'm going to get it tattooed on my forearm.
Apparently, it was a banner day all around, since Jess apparently had their hands full with Dad, who was having a bad pain day. Eventually, he took a nap and that helped, but it sounds like it was pretty rough for awhile.
I still feel a little selfish for abandoning my nice mostly work from home job where I could help Jess more. I know I needed to leave, but it's been hard on them, and I hate that. I hate that the uncertainty of my schedule stresses them out. We'll just have to see what the future holds, and deal with it as it comes.
I'm glad we have some games this week. I've got some ideas for MotW on Saturday, plus I've got Strahd on Friday, and playing inpoisontaster's game on Sunday. And tonight (if she feels up to it), PT is running our Brindlewood Bay game. I have a theory on that one, too. Hopefully, discord and roll20 will play nicely today. They frequently seem to have a hard time on Wednesdays.
I think Jess and I are going to go to brunch on Saturday, though we're not sure where we're going just yet. I was thinking Rock and Toss, but I glanced at their menu and it seems like they're out of snow crab legs. Which is a big part of the allure. So, we'll see.
Okay, time for me to figure out my lunch for the day. Everyone have a wonderful Wednesday!
We had a chat yesterday. She pulled me off the floor for the "what can I do to help you?" speech. I told her that I felt like by jumping in so often, she was making me more discouraged and making it harder for me to come back on the next call, because I felt like I was going to screw up again. I also said that I felt like the academy was way too big, because we didn't get the practice that we should have. And that the women who came in from the Aberdeen police dept should have been in a different class, because they're light years ahead of us. They've had four years of dispatch, and time using the CAD system. I said that putting us with one of them was kind of not fair to any of us. I'm holding her back, she's making me feel bad about my skills, and the trainer is kind of stuck in the middle, trying to balance differing access needs.
I pointed out that we got 20 minutes of phone explanation, and I feel like that's hurt me, and that we didn't really get a description of what the departments do. So when she says to transfer someone to CID, I not only don't know what CID is, I don't even know what it stands for.
The rest of the day, she typed and I talked, and that went smoothly, so we'll see what today holds.
I realized that I haven't been pretending I'm good at it, so I'm going to try to do that today. I've got the individual steps, but I need to put them all together. So, I'm going to do my best today. If it works, I swear, I'm going to get it tattooed on my forearm.
Apparently, it was a banner day all around, since Jess apparently had their hands full with Dad, who was having a bad pain day. Eventually, he took a nap and that helped, but it sounds like it was pretty rough for awhile.
I still feel a little selfish for abandoning my nice mostly work from home job where I could help Jess more. I know I needed to leave, but it's been hard on them, and I hate that. I hate that the uncertainty of my schedule stresses them out. We'll just have to see what the future holds, and deal with it as it comes.
I'm glad we have some games this week. I've got some ideas for MotW on Saturday, plus I've got Strahd on Friday, and playing in
poisontaster's game on Sunday. And tonight (if she feels up to it), PT is running our Brindlewood Bay game. I have a theory on that one, too. Hopefully, discord and roll20 will play nicely today. They frequently seem to have a hard time on Wednesdays.I think Jess and I are going to go to brunch on Saturday, though we're not sure where we're going just yet. I was thinking Rock and Toss, but I glanced at their menu and it seems like they're out of snow crab legs. Which is a big part of the allure. So, we'll see.
Okay, time for me to figure out my lunch for the day. Everyone have a wonderful Wednesday!
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Date: 2023-11-15 05:14 pm (UTC)hope you guys find someplace wonderful for Saturday Brunch - you both deserve a chance to treat yourself