And it's Monday

[beanside]

My election anxiety is ramping up. I feel like I'm a step away from a panic attack constantly. At least one of the stores in our local strip mall have boarded up their windows. I don't know whether they really are expecting problems, or if it's a mandate from corporate. It is not helping my feelings. I'm afraid, and I can't do anything about it. I don't like feeling helpless. I've done what I can to prepare, but it doesn't feel like enough.

We live in the suburbs, so it's less likely that any riots will happen here, but who knows? It's just all too much. People are such assholes lately. I know they probably had this kind of assholery, but the Cheeto has emboldened them to act out, and that's scary. We didn't put up a political sign because we were worried about retaliation. Our neighborhood skews towards Trump, judging from the signs.

I still can't let myself hope. Deep down, I'm still assuming that the asshole will win. If I'm wrong, I'll be thrilled, but I just can't let myself think it.

It's been getting down to the mid-thirties at night, and fuck it is cold in this house. We have space heaters to make it bearable, but it still really, really sucks. They better get that inspection on the books soon. It's annoying, because we have all new appliances (except for the stove and oven), and that's worth absolutely nothing. I want a hot shower, dammit. And not the camp shower, which is how we've been doing it. It's a little marvel of engineering, with a rechargeable battery, and then you submerse the pump and voila, water. It means heating up a copious amount of water in the electric kettle, and is generally a pain in the ass. But, it's nice being clean.

I'll admit, I've slacked off on the personal hygiene thing during the pandemic. As long as I don't smell bad, sometimes, I'll just wash my hair and do a sink bath with cold water. My hair generally gets brushed after I shower, and maybe before we go out on the weekend to get food, or whatever. It's at an unmanageable length, but I just haven't quite wanted to go to a stylist. Add that to not eating at a restaurant for things I'm just not ready for yet. If I'd known that the Greek place we had our last pre-pandemic meal was it for at least a year, I probably would have gone to Fogo de Chao instead. (I've been craving their roasted garlic on the market table.) The Greek place is really good, and we had the flambe cheese that's so good, so it's not like it was a bad last meal out.

Comments

[epeeblade]

I'm feeling the same - one step away from a panic attack: heart racing, blood pressure soaring. I live in a huge MAGA town and it's awful. I am planning on going no media tomorrow for my sanity. In 2016 my blood pressure shot up a ridiculous amount.

[dine]

these are awful, scary times - and one can't indulge in hope, because that way lies despair if the Cheeto somehow taes it. and even if he doesn't, there will be all sorts of issues yet to come; the resultant legal (and potentially physically violent) ruckus will possibly drag on for weeks/months

you're not the only one slacking on the personal hygiene front - as long as you're not offending people, it's ok not to shower every day, especially while you're unable to really luxuriate in hot water. may the inspection happen soon, so you can heat the place and enjoy a nice, long shower!

[anutty1]

It's hard to get away from the anxiety, isn't it? I've been trying to just skim the news and I do not plan to watch news all day tomorrow, just a bit in the evening, then I'm going to cut it off, and read Shirley Jackson's 'We Have Always Lived in the Castle.' I don't know if this will be easy for you, but if you can, I recommend not having an eagle eye on the news tomorrow and possibly doing something that you enjoy/brings you peace. Good luck and I will see you on the other side!

[linderhill]

I understand your anxiety completely. I work for the federal gov't and work in downtown DC (when I'm assigned to go in). I've pretty much despised that man since I was a teenager living in NJ. It still boggles my mind that people actually believe that he's done anything good, for the economy or anyone besides himself. I have relatives (my family has always been conservative (but not to the extent that the current party has gone lately -- completely wacko) that are pro Trump but my immediate family, luckily feel the same as I for once. I'm also thankful that Virginia does not require us to register with a political party.