![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beansideSo, rambling will probably ensue, so I'm gonna cut tag this one. Short version: Grandmom's doctor stopped by to see her on Tuesday night and it seems that she's defied the odds for the last time. The doctor said that she'd be shocked if she holds out til Thanksgiving. Hospice is visiting today, and we'll go from there. I'll probably be quiet for a while.
Some of you have already heard me talk about this, but I feel like I should give the people who haven't some background. My mother was fairly agoraphobic when I was little. She could handle taking us to school (you could see the school from our front door) or to the doctor. Once a year, we'd go to see mom's best friend in Frostburg, which is a tiny, kind of quaint town. I could walk at night and never worry, even when I was 10.
For the most part, though, vacations were with Grandmom and Granddad. It was just the way things were. I went to the zoo, the inner harbor, different amusement parks and all sorts of stuff with them. So, in a very real way, they raised me every bit as much as my mother. We moved in with my grandmom nearly 20 years ago, mainly because of our finances, but it turned out to be a godsend. Not even 5 months later, grandmom tripped up at one of her many church soldality/Knights of Columbus/senior center meetings and broke her hip. Despite being 80 years old, she bounced back quickly, and in almost no time was back to her social life.
A few years later, her second hip took a lot out of her, as did the death of her oldest son. As her body deteriorated, her mind remained sharp. And really, over the last six years, we learned so much more about the woman we thought we knew, and I'm so very grateful for that.
She was born weighing a mere 2 pounds, a death sentence in 1914, but she survived, and thrived. She had a nervous breakdown during her senior year of high school, and dropped out, getting her GED. After that, she married my grandfather, and began fifty years of marriage. I love my grandfather, but when we meet again, I swear, I'm going to smack him for what he put her through. Constant gambling of his paychecks, affairs, you name it. She had to take work outside the home, which was very unusual in those days. Her name is on patents in the U.S Navy, and she received an award from the Army Corp of Engineers, who brought in the renowned actor William Holden to present it to her.
She held a nursing license, and worked in that field as well. When my sister and I arrived, she volunteered at our school, in both of our kindergarten classes, and at local hospitals.
Five years ago, she suffered a heart attack, but still, she bounced back again. She had her carotid artery cut, and stents placed in her heart two weeks after her 90th birthday. Despite this, the cardiac surgeon gave her about six months.
For the last four years she's gone downhill slowly, as we've struggled with regulating her congestive heart failure and diabetes.
The last year and a half have sucked. She's teetered on the edge, only to pull back over and over again. But now, it's looking like times up. She's been pretty much in left field for the last 2 weeks, when she's awake. She talks to people who we don't see. (I won't say they're not there, because who knows who can visit her in the twilight place she's at?)
I'm...pretty fucked up about it. Between my neck, the stomach flu that I've down with, and Grandmom, I'm just overwhelmed. Oh, and I twisted my knee going down to do some praying to the porcelain god. Go me?
I don't have any appts scheduled for pain management until next week, and who knows if I'll be able to keep them? Yesterday, I went and picked up my prescriptions, and while I was at it, found a cute new skirt at Target. Tonight, if I have energy, I want to stop at Catherine's and the Avenue for tights and new shoes respectively.
Anyhow, if I'm quiet, I didn't want you all to think I'm ignoring y'all. I still read my friendslist, I still answer my e-mail and stuff, I just am conserving my energy.
Any thoughts, prayers or energy for a smooth, painless transition for my Grandmom, or for my family are appreciated. *hugs*
Some of you have already heard me talk about this, but I feel like I should give the people who haven't some background. My mother was fairly agoraphobic when I was little. She could handle taking us to school (you could see the school from our front door) or to the doctor. Once a year, we'd go to see mom's best friend in Frostburg, which is a tiny, kind of quaint town. I could walk at night and never worry, even when I was 10.
For the most part, though, vacations were with Grandmom and Granddad. It was just the way things were. I went to the zoo, the inner harbor, different amusement parks and all sorts of stuff with them. So, in a very real way, they raised me every bit as much as my mother. We moved in with my grandmom nearly 20 years ago, mainly because of our finances, but it turned out to be a godsend. Not even 5 months later, grandmom tripped up at one of her many church soldality/Knights of Columbus/senior center meetings and broke her hip. Despite being 80 years old, she bounced back quickly, and in almost no time was back to her social life.
A few years later, her second hip took a lot out of her, as did the death of her oldest son. As her body deteriorated, her mind remained sharp. And really, over the last six years, we learned so much more about the woman we thought we knew, and I'm so very grateful for that.
She was born weighing a mere 2 pounds, a death sentence in 1914, but she survived, and thrived. She had a nervous breakdown during her senior year of high school, and dropped out, getting her GED. After that, she married my grandfather, and began fifty years of marriage. I love my grandfather, but when we meet again, I swear, I'm going to smack him for what he put her through. Constant gambling of his paychecks, affairs, you name it. She had to take work outside the home, which was very unusual in those days. Her name is on patents in the U.S Navy, and she received an award from the Army Corp of Engineers, who brought in the renowned actor William Holden to present it to her.
She held a nursing license, and worked in that field as well. When my sister and I arrived, she volunteered at our school, in both of our kindergarten classes, and at local hospitals.
Five years ago, she suffered a heart attack, but still, she bounced back again. She had her carotid artery cut, and stents placed in her heart two weeks after her 90th birthday. Despite this, the cardiac surgeon gave her about six months.
For the last four years she's gone downhill slowly, as we've struggled with regulating her congestive heart failure and diabetes.
The last year and a half have sucked. She's teetered on the edge, only to pull back over and over again. But now, it's looking like times up. She's been pretty much in left field for the last 2 weeks, when she's awake. She talks to people who we don't see. (I won't say they're not there, because who knows who can visit her in the twilight place she's at?)
I'm...pretty fucked up about it. Between my neck, the stomach flu that I've down with, and Grandmom, I'm just overwhelmed. Oh, and I twisted my knee going down to do some praying to the porcelain god. Go me?
I don't have any appts scheduled for pain management until next week, and who knows if I'll be able to keep them? Yesterday, I went and picked up my prescriptions, and while I was at it, found a cute new skirt at Target. Tonight, if I have energy, I want to stop at Catherine's and the Avenue for tights and new shoes respectively.
Anyhow, if I'm quiet, I didn't want you all to think I'm ignoring y'all. I still read my friendslist, I still answer my e-mail and stuff, I just am conserving my energy.
Any thoughts, prayers or energy for a smooth, painless transition for my Grandmom, or for my family are appreciated. *hugs*
