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Jan. 8th, 2026 01:34 pm
maju: Clean my kitchen (Default)
[personal profile] maju
Towards the end of October I emailed the place (the National Finance Center) to which I have to send my health insurance payments (for the health insurance I inherited from S's work) telling them I was about to change my address to Connecticut. They quickly emailed back telling me I could not be covered by Kaiser in Connecticut (which I already knew) so I would need to choose a new plan (from a list they supplied with plans available in Connecticut) and email the details back to them along with my new address. I promptly did that - and have heard nothing since. I believe I should have received confirmation of my new coverage along with a year's worth of coupons (for want of a better word) (payment stubs I guess) to attach to the cheques for the monthly payments I would need to make. But no, I did not receive either an email or any paperwork, and the Medicare site still shows my primary insurance as being Kaiser, and even this is wrong I've since discovered - I'm not working so Medicare should be my primary insurance while Kaiser would be my secondary.

Because Medicare thinks Kaiser is my primary insurance they are not paying for everything as I expected, and it seems that Kaiser isn't picking up any of the bills either so I'm getting billed for things I thought Medicare would cover.

Over the last couple of weeks I've emailed the National Finance Center a couple more times with the same new health plan and new address information as before, but still no response. Yesterday I decided this is all too complicated and I'll just try to cancel the private health insurance. I read through the meagre amount of paperwork they sent me a year ago when they first set me up with my payment plan, and found that to cancel the insurance you have to send them a hard copy signed and dated letter telling them you want to cancel. So I composed the necessary letter and this morning I walked over to the library to print it out (because my daughter's printer is out of ink), then walked back across the road to the post office to mail off the signed and dated letter. I really hope somebody reads and responds to this letter, because I just want to wash my hands of the whole thing.

2025 in Review: Media!

Jan. 8th, 2026 10:25 am
forestofglory: E. H. Shepard drawing of Christopher Robin reading a book to Pooh (Default)
[personal profile] forestofglory
Time to reflect a little on the media I read and watched in 2025. My reading goal for 2025 was “Reading Joyfully”. I think this worked out ok – I started out putting a lot of pressure on myself about it and stressing out, but then I backed off and used it as an excuse to think about how reading fits into my life these days.

I was somewhat hoping I could get back to really engaging with new to me SFF, and for the most part that didn’t happen. There were a couple of weeks in there where I was sleeping way better than I generally manage these days and I read several new to me books! It was great! So I think part of my problem is that I’m just not well rested enough to engage with new to me stuff very much. Which is sad, but pushing isn’t going to make me happy either.

Then after the thing with the flood damage, when the whole house was a mess, I was struggling to focus on much of anything. I ended up just reading a ton of fic, so much fic.* Which has been delightful. The comfort of the same thing again but different this time is really not appreciated enough by critics. This reading phase has been very joyful!

In 2025 I read even fewer books than I read the last several years (57) but unlike the last couple of years I don’t feel bad about it. Which was the real point of my reading joyfully goal. I’m more at peace with who I am as a reader these days and that’s really nice, even if I might never be the same kind of reader I was before the pandemic happened.

Another trend that defined my 2025 media was crossdressing girls. I love, love, love the trope of girls who disguise themselves and boys to go out into the world and do things that they wouldn’t be allowed to do. This is a trope that English language media hasn’t really been doing much with recently, but luckily for me it's popular in Asian dramas. It’s such a comfort trope for me, and I decided to really dive into this trope and watched many dramas featuring it. (And read a couple of books too)

I also continue to watch many silly Chinese reality shows, another thing that I find relaxing. Media has really was a source of comfort for me in 2025.

In terms of goals for 2026, I’m going to continue to not have a numerical goal for total books. I find those more stressful than fun. Having a theme for my media last year worked out really well though so for the first quarter of 2026 my media theme is going to be “comfort” . Then I can see I want to keep that theme or change at the end of the quarter. I also want to push myself a bit harder on reading Mandarin so I’m going to make it a goal to read six graded readers this year, which feels very doable.


*Me, very stressed out: I’ll just read this cute sounding fic in a fandom I’m not in. It will be relaxing. Me, several days, and I don’t know how many fics in that fandom latter: I guess I have a new fandom now, opps?
[personal profile] darkjediqueen posting in [community profile] fan_flashworks
Title: Looking Forward To Most
Rating: R
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Fandom: S.W.A.T.
Relationships: Donovan Rocker/Molly Hicks
Tags: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort
Summary: Donny gets poisoned.
Word Count: 2,873

Looking Forward To Most )
[syndicated profile] icanhascheezburger_feed

Posted by Blake Seidel

Cats love a cuddle puddle. It's scientifically proven.

We're purrfessional cuddlers. Not actually "professional" cuddlers (that is a thing, though, look it up if you're curious), but what we mean to say is that we love to cuddle. We need something to hold on to while we sleep at night or else we just aren't comfortable. We need that body heat to keep us warm through the night, as we tend to run cold. It turns out that cats are the same way.

From the time cats are little, they get used to quite literally sleeping on top of each other. It provides a sense of safety, warmth, and comfort from the time they are kittens, and many of those feelings continue into their adult lives. We must have been cuddled a lot when we were babies to explain our need for cuddling at the age of 35.

All of this is a long way to introduce the hissterical, yet awwdorable, thread we're sharing with you today. One neighbor left out a cat bed on their porch, meant to purrvide a safe and warm place to sleep for the occasional stray cat that roams around the neighborhood. Well, they were pawsitively surprised when they looked out one day and found not one, but eight cats crammed into that tiny bed! They made the cutest cuddle puddle we've ever seen, and it looks like they're going to need to get a bigger bed or bring some of them inside. Or purrhaps both, but we'll let them decide that for themselves.

[syndicated profile] askamanager_feed

Posted by Ask a Manager

Remember the letter-writer who was struggling to get their email inbox under control? Here’s the update.

I was the person who was overwhelmed by my inbox and was looking for help to manage high volume comms. Overall, the chaos of busy season was definitely easier to manage this year, even though the volume of email did increase up to around 300+ a day in the peak season, likely because I have been in my role longer so more people know me and like to ask me stuff. I really appreciated the commentariat suggestions and would love anyone to add any more systems and hacks – and to those who manage 1000+ emails a day, I take my hat off to you!

What worked:

* Having set times for smashing out emails. I liked to do a batch first thing in the morning and just after lunch, with a final half hour at the end of the day. I tried to use my standing desk for this – for my health, but also as it gives a sense of urgency? Almost like I’m running!

* Blocking those set times in my calendar. Sometimes I have to shift them, but in busy season having a dedicated reply time was essential. I also blocked a time for lunch so I either didn’t get meetings at a regular time slot each day or I moved the lunch to make sure I have it, and I would go sit outside or have a little jump around.

* This ties into ADHD and other neurospicy divergents – having a break and resetting my brain meant that I could work at higher capacity for more of the day. I tried to lean into my biorhythm when I could. For the same reason, I try to avoid meetings at 3pm – this is the worst time to pitch anything to me! I am twice as likely to say no or just generally be uncollaborative.

* Turning off my email when I needed focus time. I already kill as many notifications as I can, but even having it open and silent was distracting. It helped when I could to make my tasks into silos instead of multitasking, which is well known to sap everyone’s brain power.

* Using Quick Parts/ Templates either in app or on a Word doc – putting info that I was asked for over and over again that rarely changes into templates that I could autofill, e.g. the style guide with links to logo files.

* Not replying too quickly! Pick your battles. I found that with some emails, if I deliberately left them for a couple hours, other people would jump in and do the working out on my behalf. Don’t be too eager to be the one to fix stuff if you are busy!

* Judicious use of out-of-office: if I was off-site or super busy, I would let people know with auto-replies and defer them to another day or even another week to focus on deadline-driven priorities. An example was saying that I would only be replying to emails around “key deadline” this week, and all other enquiries would be attended to next week. Sometimes I even ask if they can reach out again after X date so I don’t have to backtrack.

* Once a month I reset to a kind of zero inbox-ish. (I’ll likely never be truly zero inbox again!) I would change the filter on the inbox to “from” instead of “date received.” This would allow me to see at a glance what had been dealt with from each person and what was outstanding that still needed to be picked up or given a bump to keep it moving. It’s a great way to clear out old emails and pick up missed items.

* Still using a physical notebook: small daily tasks, random thoughts to ask my boss, reminders of upcoming meetings, it was definitely still useful to have this and flick through it to see what needed ticked off. Especially for anything that was a small task and didn’t need to go into the project management software, or things that were not high priority but needed the input of three other people.

What didn’t work:

* Full disclosure — the list above has a few things that sound like I was amazing but I was definitely erratic with lots of this, I am definitely learning as I go. The silo tasks was hit and miss, the replying too quickly is definitely a key area to improve, my breaks policy was best practice only. I wasn’t always able to do all of these tactics at all times but I could definitely see the benefits when I did use them. When I’m tired, best practice falls away quickly if it’s not a habit.

* I tried to use a system of flags and “to do” on Outlook to monitor and keep on top of tasks, and it was too complex and dropped off under pressure.

* The biggest impact was one that can’t circumvent all or even any of the hacks — this year I was sick a lot less than last year. For Reasons, I was much healthier this year so didn’t have so many days with brain fog, or days out of the office that turned into two days out and so forth. Unfortunately, in the relentless busy season there is no way to catch up on absences.

What I want to try next year:

* Using new digital tools. LLM/AI garner a spectrum of opinions but there are definitely new tools coming through that should help us busy folk. Using automations to pick up on missed tasks. Tidying meeting notes so I can focus more in the session and type more roughly. Using automations to upload daily reports directly into our data management software, and using automations there to analyse it and email it back to me! I am keen to see what they develop in this space in so many ways.

* Doing the reset to zero inbox by sorting by name once a week, preferably on a Thursday so that I stay on top of small tasks a bit better. This was really a gamechanger and clearing out the inbox so I know where I am at makes a huge difference to my mental clarity. Big tasks make it into our project management software but there are a lot of things that are more work than needed to turn into a task.

* Giving it to someone else: training my direct reports with more nuance so that I can hand over more things to them.

That’s my wrap for the year, please do share your hints and tips!

The post update: how can I get my email inbox under control? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

[syndicated profile] atlas_obscura_places_feed

The Jojo manga franchise is infamous for it's strangely dressed  characters and wacky plotlines that somehow are well written. It has fans all over the world, but only one of them opened a bar themed around the franchise and crested dozens of unique drinks around the characters and their 'stands'.

The bar itself is a small hole-in-the-wall type establishment, just large enough to seat about 10 people. It is covered from head to toe with prints and miniatures of the Jojo franchise, as well as original drawings and hand made replicas of the faces of various stands. Behind the bar the show is constantly playing, and the owner has watched it so often that he talks primarily in Jojo quotes (in Japanese). For those who want to read instead of watch, there is a library with all the Jojo books in one corner.

Perhaps the most interesting aspect of the bar is his long menu, which has about 50 drinks for each of the five Jojo seasons, each containing several unique cocktails named after the characters, their stands, and the moves of the stands. 

 

 

 

 

[personal profile] petra
Drabbles and limericks for people who requested them:
Chrestomanci
due South + Murderbot
due South + Venom
Interview with the Vampire (TV)
KPop Demon Hunters
Pride and Prejudice
Singin' in the Rain
Slough House
Star Wars

Prompt me if you would you like something in one or more of my fandoms. I may not get to you today, but we can have Even More Joy Day tomorrow!
[syndicated profile] icanhascheezburger_feed

Posted by Blake Seidel

Ask any cat lover and they'll say the same thing: Cats have the supermeowtural ability to find us when we need them most.

Cats are truly a gift to hoomans in this world. Their purrs are literally proven by science to have healing effects, they're purrfectly cute, low maintenance, and they clean up after themselves. Could you ask for a better companion by your side through life? We don't think so.

While walking home in the rain after school, one student heard tiny meows and stopped to investigate. After some searching, she found a kitten, completely soaked and shaking from the pouring rain. She couldn't abandon her, so she took her home, vowing to come back and search for the mom the next day. After an unsuccessful search mission, she took the poor baby to nearby shelter, hoping to find a home for her there. The shelter was full, so she had no choice but to take the fur baby home herself. She named her 'Francis', and through Francis's eyes, she learned to love herself. 

This post teaches us more than anything that cats can help us see the value of our lives simply by loving us. They give us a reason to wake up in the meowrning and a reason to be excited to come home at night. They give us structure, boundaries, and the feeling of being needed. Now, the two are inseparable, and that's just fine by us. Read more about Francis and her heroic rescue by scolling down!

[personal profile] regshoe
Trying something a bit different for the annual Sutcliff this time.

We Lived in Drumfyvie (1975) is a series of short stories about the history of a fictional Scottish town (nothing to do with the real Fyvie in Aberdeenshire, setting of my favourite ballad), from its creation as a burgh by David I in the twelfth century to Victoria's Diamond Jubilee at the end of the nineteenth.

God, it's exhausting being Scottish, in't it? )
[syndicated profile] smbc_comics_feed

Posted by Zach Weinersmith



Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
And of course the anti-hallucinogenic drugs that sometimes have tiny legs and walk around.


Today's News:

When is Christmas?

Jan. 8th, 2026 03:03 pm
shewhomust: (Default)
[personal profile] shewhomust
S describes the party we were at last Sunday as her "Christmas leftovers party". The idea is that everyone contributes whatever they have from overcatering for the festivities, or being given presents of more sweets than they can eat. Inevitably, this means that the party itself generates leftovers, but at least we all get sent home with someone else's contribution, which makes for variety.

One of the guests - only one - was wearing a Christmas jumper (big reindeer face, red woolly bobble nose) which he described, rather defensively, as his "leftover Christmas jumper." He explained that his wife (who I don't think was at the party) had discouraged him from wearing it, because, she said, after Christmas Day, Christmas was over. A whole group of people disagreed strongly with this, and launched into the usual discussion of when is Twelfth Night, anyway? (with much counting on fingers), and what is Epiphany? and don't people break their teeth on the bean in the galette? which is always fun, and reveals much about Other People's Traditions. I maintained, as I usually do, that people who want Christmas to be over too soon are usually paying the price for starting too early, and that Christmas doesn't begin until Christmas Day, though some celebration is permissible on Christmas Eve.

In practice, though... )

In theory, then, my Christmas ends at Epiphany. But tonight we will go to the Lit & Phil for spooky stories: so traditional an Epiphany event that tonight must be
Epiphany observed. Tomorrow I will take down the Christmas cards (our only nod to decorations).
Tags:
[personal profile] dolorosa_12
[community profile] snowflake_challenge prompt 4 asks the following:

Rec The Contents Of Your Last Page

Any website that you like, be it fanfiction, art, social media, or something a bit more eccentric!


Given that the last non-work website that I looked at was a somewhat grim political podcast, I'm going to reinterpret this as an opportunity to link a weird and wonderful piece of longform journalism that I've had bookmarked for a while: The snail farm don: is this the most brazen tax avoidance scheme of all time?

The title doesn't do it justice, and neither does my summary: a septugenarian who made his money in his family's shoe-selling business empire in the north of England, and has decades-long associations with the mafia in Naples (including hiding mafia members on the run in his properties in the UK) has for the past several years invested most of his time and energy in exploiting an elaborate UK tax loophole by which — if you claim to be running a snail farm on your property (including in residential blocks of flats or office buildings) — you pay no tax. In his telling, he's doing this purely to pass the time and keep his mind active in his later years. It's a wild ride.

This kind of written long-form journalism, essay or interview — with left-field subject matter and larger-than-life personalities — is my absolutely favourite type of nonfiction.

Snowflake Challenge: A warmly light quaint street of shops at night with heavy snow falling.
[syndicated profile] askamanager_feed

Posted by Ask a Manager

Inspired by yesterday’s letter about someone who vastly overshared personal mental health details with clients, let’s talk about oversharing at work!

Over the years we’ve heard about oversharing in the forms of a colleague who showed an explicit slideshow of her baby’s birth, a boss who kept sharing drama between his current wife and his ex-wife, a coworker who felt the need to share that her husband didn’t like her Brazilian bikini wax, a brand new hire who kept asking everyone whether he should cheat on his wife, and much more.

Let’s discuss workplace oversharing in the comment section.

The post let’s discuss TMI: when coworkers overshare at work appeared first on Ask a Manager.

[syndicated profile] atlas_obscura_places_feed

Started by a passionate bonsai enthusiast in the mid-1990s, the garden combines landscape design, art, and quiet reflection. Visitors follow winding paths lined with glowing azaleas, cherry blossoms, and fiery maples. Bonsai trees, some over 180 years old, are displayed among stone arrangements, mossy hills, and a pond filled with colorful koi. Stepping stones and small bridges lead to a wooden pavilion that frames the miniature landscape like a painting.

The tea house, overlooking the Zen garden, offers a peaceful stop for visitors to enjoy Japanese teas and sweet treats like Dora Yaki. A small shop nearby sells tea, traditional snacks, pottery, and bonsai supplies, allowing guests to take a piece of the garden home.

At the end of October, the garden hosts a Lantern Festival, when dozens of bamboo and stone lanterns illuminate the paths and trees in a soft glow. Visitors should check the garden’s website for current dates and event details.

[syndicated profile] icanhascheezburger_feed

Posted by Mariel Ruvinsky

With a little love, cats can survive absolutely anything. 

We have seen that proven time and time again - cats making incredible recoveries after being adopted and shown love for the first time in their lives. We have seen cats survive eating poison after being rescued. We have seen cats survive being painted blue after being shown true love. We've seen kittens being brought back to life after being frozen solid because someone actually cared enough about them to take the time to save them. 

A little hope is all cats need to blossom, no matter what they have gone through in their lives. And the beautiful Maine Coon in today's story has certainly gone through more than enough. She was found along with 10 other cats in a shed where they were used for breeding. No water, no food, not even a window was in the shed. You would think, after this, that the damage - psychologically, would be too much to get over, but she did. She was adopted by the kindest people - people who showed her real, unconditional love, and she made one of the most inspiring transformations that we have ever seen. 

[personal profile] katiedid717 posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
My Grandchildren Don’t Thank Me for Christmas Gifts. Is This a Moral Failure?

My grandchildren are in or nearing their teenage years. Two are from my son and his wife, and two are from my daughter and her husband. Of course, all children love and, to some extent, expect birthday and Christmas gifts. My daughter-in-law and her children continue a tradition of giving me handmade greeting cards every Christmas. They also always send me handwritten thank-you cards for the gifts I send. However, I receive no gifts from my other grandchildren, both boys, and never thank-you cards.

I mentioned this to my daughter, their mother, but there was no response. I suggested that each might give me a card promising 30 minutes of picking up sticks in my yard. I know that gifts should come from the heart with no sense of reciprocity, but the current situation bothers me. There seems to be a lack of moral character being demonstrated, as well as poor ethics and manners.

What do you think?


From the Therapist: You’ve framed your grandsons’ behavior as a case of bad manners or moral failure, but I hear a yearning underneath. No matter how much we tell ourselves that gifts aren’t about reciprocity, the reality is that they often hold emotional significance in which both parties are essentially asking to be recognized. The giver wants acknowledgment of their thoughtfulness and investment, while the receiver wants confirmation that they’ve been truly seen. Both are essentially asking, “Do I matter?”

When we don’t feel seen or appreciated, hurt feelings can disguise themselves as something else, like concern about good character or proper etiquette, because it’s easier to push pain outward than to say, “I feel unimportant to you.” But remember that children take cues from their parents, and I have a feeling that this lack of acknowledgment has more to do with your daughter than with her sons.

For instance, you mentioned that you got no response from her when you brought this up. But instead of telling her what her children should do for you, I’d be curious about why she doesn’t facilitate gift-giving or thank-you-note-writing. I say “she” because most teens don’t do this without some parental prodding, and I imagine that your daughter has her own feelings about your relationship that are being played out in the gifting dynamic.

Maybe gifting between you and her family feels empty or performative, when what she really wants is a different or more meaningful relationship with you. It could be that she perceives you as critical of both her and her sons, demanding of something that she doesn’t feel she or they owe you. She might also find your suggestion that the boys pick up sticks for you as a bit thoughtless: Would it make you happy to ask her children to do something that would feel more like a burdensome chore than something they would actually enjoy giving you?

Meanwhile, you say that your “daughter-in-law and her children” give you cards and write thank-you notes, but I noticed you don’t mention your son. It’s nice that your daughter-in-law has created traditions for her kids around gifting, but this doesn’t mean that her children have stronger characters than your daughter’s children do. It just means that the person your son married facilitates gifting and thanking — and that your son and your daughter don’t.

So what might help? First, separate your hurt feelings from judgments about character. You can feel unappreciated without that meaning that these boys are being raised poorly — or that this is primarily about them. Second, consider what you actually want. Do you want thank-you notes, or do you want to feel more connected to and valued by this branch of the family? If it’s the former, you could issue an ultimatum (no thank-you notes equals no gifts), but I don’t think forced statements of gratitude are what you really want. If you want genuine connection and appreciation, you can start by approaching your daughter with curiosity instead of complaints.

Community Recs Post!

Jan. 8th, 2026 10:08 am
glitteryv: (Default)
[personal profile] glitteryv posting in [community profile] recthething
Every Thursday, we have a community post, just like this one, where you can drop a rec or five in the comments.

This works great if you only have one rec and don't want to make a whole post for it, or if you don't have a DW account, or if you're shy. ;)

(But don't forget: you can deffo make posts of your own seven days a week. ;D!)

So what cool fanart/fanvids/fics/podfics/fancrafts/other kinds of fanworks have we discovered this week? Drop it in the comments below. Anon comment is enabled.

BTW, AI fanworks are not eligible for reccing at recthething. If you aware that a fanwork is AI-generated, please do not rec it here.

Ask a Manager: Two Tales of Nudity

Jan. 8th, 2026 10:05 am
minoanmiss: plus size lady crowned with flowers (Neolithic Summer)
[personal profile] minoanmiss posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Well, two tales of skimpy clothing, to compare and contrast.

Read more... )

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