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yuletideOne last batch in before reveals! Nine recs, all on my journal. Fandoms include:
The Long Walk (2025)
Carrie
The Odyssey
Philadelphia Flyers RPF
Crash (1996)
19th Century Poets RPF
True Detective
Jaws
The Blue Castle
The Long Walk (2025)
Carrie
The Odyssey
Philadelphia Flyers RPF
Crash (1996)
19th Century Poets RPF
True Detective
Jaws
The Blue Castle
Tags:
snickficMy third and final recs post. Another great year full of great fic. Amazing work, everyone. <3
but first they must catch you, The Long Walk (2025), Stebbins & Garraty & McVries, 8k. The last three are rescued from the long walk and start trying to build a new life on a decrepit farm in Vermont. This is so lovely and aching and hopeful, full of small moments of Stebbins continuing to live that slowly grow into a life over the course of a fic, or at least the beginning of one.
Disspelled, Carrie - Stephen King, Sue Snell & Carrie White, 1.4k. Sue Snell is writing a history report on the Salem Witch Trials. A really intriguing little canon divergence fic about Sue cottoning on to some things about Carrie just a little bit earlier.
homophrosyne, The Odyssey, Penelope gen, drabble series. This is absolutely gorgeous, and every drabble here is a gem. Just spectacular.
cut it out and then restart, Hockey RPF, Carter/Richards, 4k. Finally, after hockey is over for both of them, they can begin. This ship is a real blast from the hockey past, and this is an achingly beautiful look at them, finally touching each other as they've wanted for twenty years.
vanishing point, Crash (1996), Catherine/James/Vaughan, 2.3k. All their interactions hinge around the moment of future collision. I am in awe of how well the author captures the feverish sensuality of the movie, lingering on all these physical details that somehow become erotic in combination and through the framing.
Hypnos on the Primrose Isle, 19th C Poets RPH, Keats/Shelley, 6k. John Keats seeks solitude on the Isle of Wight to work on Endymion... but neither his work, nor his sleep, will be as solitary as he expects. I enjoyed the overall poetic perspective here from both of them and how they are both so attuned to beauty and romantic framings of their experiences and surroundings. Poor peevish beleaguered Keats, who in the end so enjoys being courted and seduced. :')
burned in kind , True Detective, Marty/Rust, 13k. Post-canon, post-recovery, Marty comes to Rust for help with a case of group suicide, and it might not even just be because he wants to keep an eye on Rust. I always love a casefic that acts as character development for the characters as well, and some kind of creepy entity that lures people to suicide is both right in line with the series' ambiguously-supernatural darkness and laser-pointed at Rust's issues in particular. Great voices all around and a great character arc.
all men will be sailors then, Jaws, Martin/Matt, 4k. Martin survived. Now there was just the matter of learning how to live with it. I always love some good post-horror trauma, and this was a great look at Martin trying to find his way to some kind of normal, making the best out of some bad options. His hookup with Matt feels exactly right, and all their interactions are great.
of wild honey, The Blue Castle, Barney/Valancy, 8k. Five times Valancy Stirling surprises Barney Snaith. In which we get to relive some of the key moments of the book from Barney's point of view, beautifully told, with a lot of lovely lines and bits of insight.
but first they must catch you, The Long Walk (2025), Stebbins & Garraty & McVries, 8k. The last three are rescued from the long walk and start trying to build a new life on a decrepit farm in Vermont. This is so lovely and aching and hopeful, full of small moments of Stebbins continuing to live that slowly grow into a life over the course of a fic, or at least the beginning of one.
Disspelled, Carrie - Stephen King, Sue Snell & Carrie White, 1.4k. Sue Snell is writing a history report on the Salem Witch Trials. A really intriguing little canon divergence fic about Sue cottoning on to some things about Carrie just a little bit earlier.
homophrosyne, The Odyssey, Penelope gen, drabble series. This is absolutely gorgeous, and every drabble here is a gem. Just spectacular.
cut it out and then restart, Hockey RPF, Carter/Richards, 4k. Finally, after hockey is over for both of them, they can begin. This ship is a real blast from the hockey past, and this is an achingly beautiful look at them, finally touching each other as they've wanted for twenty years.
vanishing point, Crash (1996), Catherine/James/Vaughan, 2.3k. All their interactions hinge around the moment of future collision. I am in awe of how well the author captures the feverish sensuality of the movie, lingering on all these physical details that somehow become erotic in combination and through the framing.
Hypnos on the Primrose Isle, 19th C Poets RPH, Keats/Shelley, 6k. John Keats seeks solitude on the Isle of Wight to work on Endymion... but neither his work, nor his sleep, will be as solitary as he expects. I enjoyed the overall poetic perspective here from both of them and how they are both so attuned to beauty and romantic framings of their experiences and surroundings. Poor peevish beleaguered Keats, who in the end so enjoys being courted and seduced. :')
burned in kind , True Detective, Marty/Rust, 13k. Post-canon, post-recovery, Marty comes to Rust for help with a case of group suicide, and it might not even just be because he wants to keep an eye on Rust. I always love a casefic that acts as character development for the characters as well, and some kind of creepy entity that lures people to suicide is both right in line with the series' ambiguously-supernatural darkness and laser-pointed at Rust's issues in particular. Great voices all around and a great character arc.
all men will be sailors then, Jaws, Martin/Matt, 4k. Martin survived. Now there was just the matter of learning how to live with it. I always love some good post-horror trauma, and this was a great look at Martin trying to find his way to some kind of normal, making the best out of some bad options. His hookup with Matt feels exactly right, and all their interactions are great.
of wild honey, The Blue Castle, Barney/Valancy, 8k. Five times Valancy Stirling surprises Barney Snaith. In which we get to relive some of the key moments of the book from Barney's point of view, beautifully told, with a lot of lovely lines and bits of insight.
jadelennoxThe Clockwork Alarm (3058 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Old Kingdom - Garth Nix
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Lirael (Old Kingdom), Imshi (Old Kingdom), The Disreputable Dog | Kibeth
Additional Tags: Yuletide 2025, The Great Library of the Clayr, and its many fun and exiting rooms
Summary:
An alarm sounds in the library while most of the staff have been called to the Watch. Typically a Third Assistant Librarian wouldn't be brought along to respond to an alarm, but when only Lirael and Imshi are left in the Reading Room....
Goalposts (7607 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Scholomance - Naomi Novik
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Galadriel "El" Higgins/Orion Lake, Orion Lake & Guo Yi Liu
Characters: Orion Lake, Scholomance (Scholomance - Novik), Guo Yi Liu
Additional Tags: POV Orion Lake, Post-The Golden Enclaves: Lesson Three of The Scholomance, The Golden Enclaves: Lesson Three of The Scholomance Spoilers, Orion gets a hobby, Back-To-School Night at the Scholomance, Poetry, (sort of), creative writing, Post-Canon, El is mentioned a whole lot but not actually present, Angst, the mortifying ordeal of becoming your own person
Summary:
At first Orion started with love poems.
whatever souls are made of (15800 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 3/3
Fandom: Star Trek: Lower Decks (Cartoon)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Brad Boimler/Beckett Mariner
Characters: Beckett Mariner, Brad Boimler, Crew of the Starship Cerritos (Star Trek)
Additional Tags: Episode: s05e01 Dos Cerritos (Star Trek: Lower Decks), Alternate Season/Series 05, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine References, Post-Dominion War (Star Trek), Friendship/Love, Identity Issues, discussion of the mirror universe, Angst, Pining, Comedy, Romance, Parallel Universes
Summary:
After the alternate-universe Becky Freeman tries to swap lives with Mariner in 5x01 "Dos Cerritos," Rutherford and T'Lyn decide to work out how to detect any further potential impostors from alternate universes.
This ends up being a not so great idea that stresses everybody out.
(Especially Boimler.)
erinptahEarlier this year, I split off some AO3 "Christmas Sweaters" tags that were synned to "Holiday Sweaters" tags, and made them canonical subtags instead. For kicks, I made a note of the usage stats at the time:
Holiday Sweaters (canonical) - 229 uses (219 works)
Christmas Sweaters (syn) - 205 uses (195 works)
Ugly Holiday Sweaters (canonical) - 1478 uses (1437 works)
Ugly Christmas Sweaters (syn) - 102 uses (94 works)
Now that we've basically had a full Christmas season with all those tags canonical, here are the stats tonight
Holiday Sweaters - 284 uses - Up by 24%
Christmas Sweaters - 249 uses - Up by 21%
Ugly Holiday Sweaters - 1540 uses - Up by 4%
Ugly Christmas Sweaters - 175 uses - Up by 72%
So the plain "X Sweaters" tags each grew at about the same rate...but it looks like there's a lot of taggers who were only picking "Ugly Holiday Sweaters" because that's what showed up in the dropdown, and once "Ugly Christmas Sweaters" showed up as an option, they jumped for it.
--
Fandom-dropping progress: down to 1222 fandoms. I've shed more than 300 since starting, and more than 100 since I last posted about it.
(The vast majority of them have been small webcomic fandoms. Vaguely curious what the exact breakdown is...but there's no auto-running those numbers, I'd have to do a lot of counting by hand, and I'm not that curious.)
Holiday Sweaters (canonical) - 229 uses (219 works)
Christmas Sweaters (syn) - 205 uses (195 works)
Ugly Holiday Sweaters (canonical) - 1478 uses (1437 works)
Ugly Christmas Sweaters (syn) - 102 uses (94 works)
Now that we've basically had a full Christmas season with all those tags canonical, here are the stats tonight
Holiday Sweaters - 284 uses - Up by 24%
Christmas Sweaters - 249 uses - Up by 21%
Ugly Holiday Sweaters - 1540 uses - Up by 4%
Ugly Christmas Sweaters - 175 uses - Up by 72%
So the plain "X Sweaters" tags each grew at about the same rate...but it looks like there's a lot of taggers who were only picking "Ugly Holiday Sweaters" because that's what showed up in the dropdown, and once "Ugly Christmas Sweaters" showed up as an option, they jumped for it.
--
Fandom-dropping progress: down to 1222 fandoms. I've shed more than 300 since starting, and more than 100 since I last posted about it.
(The vast majority of them have been small webcomic fandoms. Vaguely curious what the exact breakdown is...but there's no auto-running those numbers, I'd have to do a lot of counting by hand, and I'm not that curious.)
Tags:
conuly posting in agonyaunt1. DEAR ABBY: My son has completely given up on dating. Whether it's blind dates, casual meetings with members from our church or dating events I pay for and make him go to, he still hasn't found a wife. At 36, he should already have children and a partner, but despite the best efforts of my wife and me, he remains unmarried.
Our son is 6 feet tall, athletic and godly, and he has his own apartment and clears $100k a year. Despite all this, he still doesn't have a wife. It's even reached the point that he gets angry at my wife and me for pressuring him. During a few of the blind dates we set up for him, I watched from afar, and each time he was stood up! How can I ensure my son gets a wife before I grow too old? -- DAD LOSING HOPE IN NEW YORK
( Read more... )
****
2. Dear Care and Feeding,
I have a wonderful son in his early 20s. He is intelligent, articulate, has a great sense of humor and taste in music, is very responsible (he’s even managed to save a sizable chunk of cash at a young age), and is very handsome. I realize I have a biased view here, but I get comments all the time about what a wonderful young man he is. In school and employment, his teachers, co-workers, and supervisors have always raved about him. I couldn’t possibly be prouder. There’s just one problem…
He is struggling socially, and more specifically on the romantic front. He’s not a drinker or partier, so he doesn’t engage in a lot of the typical activities that others in his age group do, and that leaves him going to work, then coming home. He’s lonely, unhappy, and has no confidence in himself. The one time he attempted to date in high school, he was met with some rejection, and he just hasn’t put himself out there again. I see how much it’s hurting him to see others his age dating, getting engaged, and even married, and I’ve heard him make comments about how he’d like those things for himself as well. I know that there would be lots of women who would love to date a young man like my son. I encouraged him to set up a profile on a dating site, and he did, but nothing has come of that either. I don’t want to meddle or interfere, but I hate to see how hurt he is.
We have talked over and over about how he will need to push outside of his comfort zone (our house) if he wants to meet someone. He has had professional counseling for social anxiety, which I’ve encouraged and helped facilitate. He’s so miserable being alone, and I want so badly to help him, that I’ve considered trying to set up a date for him myself, but I don’t want to be THAT mom. I love my son, and I want to help him find his happiness. What should I do here? How can I help him? I can’t help thinking that getting him out on one date to break the ice would maybe be just what he needs. Or maybe this is all none of my business? It’s hard to ignore when he lives in my home and shares with me how much this is hurting him. Any advice is greatly appreciated!
—Maybe Meddling Mama
( Read more... )
Our son is 6 feet tall, athletic and godly, and he has his own apartment and clears $100k a year. Despite all this, he still doesn't have a wife. It's even reached the point that he gets angry at my wife and me for pressuring him. During a few of the blind dates we set up for him, I watched from afar, and each time he was stood up! How can I ensure my son gets a wife before I grow too old? -- DAD LOSING HOPE IN NEW YORK
( Read more... )
2. Dear Care and Feeding,
I have a wonderful son in his early 20s. He is intelligent, articulate, has a great sense of humor and taste in music, is very responsible (he’s even managed to save a sizable chunk of cash at a young age), and is very handsome. I realize I have a biased view here, but I get comments all the time about what a wonderful young man he is. In school and employment, his teachers, co-workers, and supervisors have always raved about him. I couldn’t possibly be prouder. There’s just one problem…
He is struggling socially, and more specifically on the romantic front. He’s not a drinker or partier, so he doesn’t engage in a lot of the typical activities that others in his age group do, and that leaves him going to work, then coming home. He’s lonely, unhappy, and has no confidence in himself. The one time he attempted to date in high school, he was met with some rejection, and he just hasn’t put himself out there again. I see how much it’s hurting him to see others his age dating, getting engaged, and even married, and I’ve heard him make comments about how he’d like those things for himself as well. I know that there would be lots of women who would love to date a young man like my son. I encouraged him to set up a profile on a dating site, and he did, but nothing has come of that either. I don’t want to meddle or interfere, but I hate to see how hurt he is.
We have talked over and over about how he will need to push outside of his comfort zone (our house) if he wants to meet someone. He has had professional counseling for social anxiety, which I’ve encouraged and helped facilitate. He’s so miserable being alone, and I want so badly to help him, that I’ve considered trying to set up a date for him myself, but I don’t want to be THAT mom. I love my son, and I want to help him find his happiness. What should I do here? How can I help him? I can’t help thinking that getting him out on one date to break the ice would maybe be just what he needs. Or maybe this is all none of my business? It’s hard to ignore when he lives in my home and shares with me how much this is hurting him. Any advice is greatly appreciated!
—Maybe Meddling Mama
( Read more... )
conuly posting in agonyaunt1. DEAR ABBY: My 13-year-old son was getting off the school bus. His friend was in front of him. My son thought it would be funny to take his friend's water bottle out of his backpack and drop it on the pavement. A few days later, my son got sent to the principal's office, not because he was in trouble but because the parents had called the school to complain about their son's scuffed water bottle and wanted it replaced. They asked for $23.
I wrote a check and was tempted to add a snarky comment, but I didn't. Yes, my son should keep his hands to himself, but the water bottle is still functional. My son apologized. Am I living my life wrong, or is it OK that they just invoiced me like that? -- UNSURE IN ILLINOIS
( Read more... )
***
2. We own a cabin across the street from our rural home. We rent it out occasionally. Our latest renter was the son of a neighbor who was in town for the holidays. We welcomed him and gave him our “friends and family” discount. On his first day there, we noticed that he had plugged his car into the charging station in the cabin’s garage. I understand his need to charge his car — but not at someone else’s expense. His behavior struck me as rude and presumptuous. Your thoughts?
( Read more... )
****
3. My husband’s relatives are visiting from another country over Christmas. The two adults speak English fluently, but they haven’t taught their children — ages 3 and 5 — a word of it. This means that I will not be able to communicate with the children at all and they will be frightened by everyone they meet at holiday events since they won’t understand anything. The parents claim they haven’t taught their children English because they will learn it in school. But they planned this visit a year ago! So, because of their laziness, I will be excluded from many conversations in my own home. I see no point in learning their language since there is no language barrier among the adults. This is not the children’s fault, but their parents’ behavior is annoying and deliberate. How should I handle it?
HOSTESS
( Read more... )
***
4. A friend invited me to her New Year’s Eve party again this year, and again, she asked me to bring a dish to serve. A potluck! The food she offers herself is undistinguished. Granted, being a hostess is demanding, but my feeling is that if you can’t manage to feed your guests, you shouldn’t invite them. I would never ask mine to supply the repast. I am offended at the thought of buying and cooking food for her party. How can I decline her request to bring food but nevertheless attend the party?
GUEST
( Read more... )
****
5. Dear Eric: I own a few cars that I park on the street in front of my house. Some new toddlers and preschool kids are learning how to ride a bike. They circle constantly in front of my house instead of the house they rent next door to my house.
The neighbors park all over the street, and do not use the driveway. They have several cars and live in a cul-de-sac. They are not watching or teaching the kids how to ride or even stay out of the road as cars come through. But that's another issue. My question is, do I have any rights as a homeowner and county resident to ask the renters to stay away from the area in front of my house and the cars parked in front? My concern being the kids might hit my cars, and it's actually annoying to see them in front of my house for hours. People think these are my kids and think I'm not watching them.
What can I do?
– Neighborhood Watch
( Read more... )
I wrote a check and was tempted to add a snarky comment, but I didn't. Yes, my son should keep his hands to himself, but the water bottle is still functional. My son apologized. Am I living my life wrong, or is it OK that they just invoiced me like that? -- UNSURE IN ILLINOIS
( Read more... )
2. We own a cabin across the street from our rural home. We rent it out occasionally. Our latest renter was the son of a neighbor who was in town for the holidays. We welcomed him and gave him our “friends and family” discount. On his first day there, we noticed that he had plugged his car into the charging station in the cabin’s garage. I understand his need to charge his car — but not at someone else’s expense. His behavior struck me as rude and presumptuous. Your thoughts?
( Read more... )
3. My husband’s relatives are visiting from another country over Christmas. The two adults speak English fluently, but they haven’t taught their children — ages 3 and 5 — a word of it. This means that I will not be able to communicate with the children at all and they will be frightened by everyone they meet at holiday events since they won’t understand anything. The parents claim they haven’t taught their children English because they will learn it in school. But they planned this visit a year ago! So, because of their laziness, I will be excluded from many conversations in my own home. I see no point in learning their language since there is no language barrier among the adults. This is not the children’s fault, but their parents’ behavior is annoying and deliberate. How should I handle it?
HOSTESS
( Read more... )
4. A friend invited me to her New Year’s Eve party again this year, and again, she asked me to bring a dish to serve. A potluck! The food she offers herself is undistinguished. Granted, being a hostess is demanding, but my feeling is that if you can’t manage to feed your guests, you shouldn’t invite them. I would never ask mine to supply the repast. I am offended at the thought of buying and cooking food for her party. How can I decline her request to bring food but nevertheless attend the party?
GUEST
( Read more... )
5. Dear Eric: I own a few cars that I park on the street in front of my house. Some new toddlers and preschool kids are learning how to ride a bike. They circle constantly in front of my house instead of the house they rent next door to my house.
The neighbors park all over the street, and do not use the driveway. They have several cars and live in a cul-de-sac. They are not watching or teaching the kids how to ride or even stay out of the road as cars come through. But that's another issue. My question is, do I have any rights as a homeowner and county resident to ask the renters to stay away from the area in front of my house and the cars parked in front? My concern being the kids might hit my cars, and it's actually annoying to see them in front of my house for hours. People think these are my kids and think I'm not watching them.
What can I do?
– Neighborhood Watch
( Read more... )
ride_4everAny blogger can challenge themselves to an annual Fannish Fifty without signing up to the Fannish Fifty Challenge on DW, but if you want to be part of the "official" Fannish Fifty click here to sign up.
Tags:
sartoriasWell, this sure was a roller coaster of a year, eh?
Wishing everyone a 2026 that brings peace and harmony. May all your dreams come true!
Wishing everyone a 2026 that brings peace and harmony. May all your dreams come true!
candyheartsexIf you want to promote your fandom or the relationships you want to request/create for, this post is for you!
How you write your your recommendations, enthusiastic squeeing, or manifestos is up to you, but please put the name of your canon in the subject line of your comment. Here--with liberal borrowing from Yuletide's promo setup--are some other things you may want to include:
Please post a separate comment for each promo you do, so the canon title can always be highlighted in the subject line.
How you write your your recommendations, enthusiastic squeeing, or manifestos is up to you, but please put the name of your canon in the subject line of your comment. Here--with liberal borrowing from Yuletide's promo setup--are some other things you may want to include:
- Title
- Medium (e.g., Book Series, Podcast, TV Show, etc.)
- Approximate Length (e.g., page count, runtime, etc. This is also a good place to mention if only a specific installment of the canon is relevant to the relationship(s) you're requesting.)
- Where to (Legally) Find It
- Brief Description
- What You Love About the Canon
- What You Love About Your Ship(s)
- Kinds of Things You're Planning to Ask For
- Content Notes (e.g., incest, period-typical attitudes, noncon, torture, etc. These notes are optional and may not cover everything even if they're included.)
Please post a separate comment for each promo you do, so the canon title can always be highlighted in the subject line.
Tags:
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denise posting in ![[site community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/comm_staff.png){kind=small}
dw_maintenanceПривет and welcome to our new Russian friends from LiveJournal! We are happy to offer you a new home. We will not require identification for you to post or comment. We also do not cooperate with Russian government requests for any information about your account unless they go through a United States court first. (And it hasn't happened in 16 years!)
Importing your journal from ЖЖ may be slow. There are a lot of you, with many posts and comments, and we have to limit how fast we download your information from ЖЖ so they don't block us. Please be patient! We have been watching and fixing errors, and we will go back to doing that after the holiday is over.
I am very sorry that we can't translate the site into Russian or offer support in Russian. We are a much, much smaller company than LiveJournal is, and my high school Russian classes were a very long time ago :) But at least we aren't owned by Sberbank!
С Новым Годом, and welcome home!
EDIT: Большое спасибо всем за помощь друг другу в комментариях! Я ценю каждого, кто предоставляет нашим новым соседям информацию, понятную им без необходимости искать её в Google. :) И спасибо вам за терпение к моему русскому переводу с помощью Google Translate! Прошло уже много-много лет со школьных времен!
Thank you also to everyone who's been giving our new neighbors a warm welcome. I love you all ❤️
candyheartsexSignups will open at 12:01 AM EST on January 1! I'll put up a Fandom/Relationship Promo Post in a few minutes, and the letters post will go up soon after signups open.
The tagset is here.
Final Notes
Solo character nominations have been removed.
Fandom nominations without relationships have been removed.
Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker —> approved under The Mandalorian (TV).
Din Djarin & Grogu | Baby Yoda —> approved under The Mandalorian (TV).
Li Family Gen (Perfect Match) approved as Li Family Member(s) & Li Family Member(s).
Final Fantasy X nominations are now under Final Fantasy X Series.
女王的游戏：盛世天下 | Road to Empress (Video Game) nominations are now under 女王的游戏 | Road to Empress (Visual Novel).
Re:Zero - Starting Life in Another World (Anime) nominations are now under Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime).
The tagset is here.
Final Notes
Solo character nominations have been removed.
Fandom nominations without relationships have been removed.
Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker —> approved under The Mandalorian (TV).
Din Djarin & Grogu | Baby Yoda —> approved under The Mandalorian (TV).
Li Family Gen (Perfect Match) approved as Li Family Member(s) & Li Family Member(s).
Final Fantasy X nominations are now under Final Fantasy X Series.
女王的游戏：盛世天下 | Road to Empress (Video Game) nominations are now under 女王的游戏 | Road to Empress (Visual Novel).
Re:Zero - Starting Life in Another World (Anime) nominations are now under Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime).
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kaberettOver the last few days I have been reading lots of Dreamwidth; I'm now caught up to the 19th of December, which is as up-to-date as I think I've been since April.
I have also had a toasted sandwich lunch on a park bench with A, under a clear blue sky; quietly played several games; and, eventually, made a start on setting up next year's notebook.
Thank you for sharing your lives with me. <3
scrubjayspeaksTime looked up from its work, delicately lifting hands away from the dominoes it had just added to the elaborate Rube Goldberg machine that was its creation, and it smiled to hear the sound of fireworks and cheering and champagne corks. Accustomed to being blamed for age and loss, it was nice for so many of them to suddenly remember who also brought the coming spring and the maturing wines and the growing children. For one who gnawed iron and had stones for meal, it was a welcome relief instead to drink down one night’s worth of their frenzied gratitude for the chance to see another year.
---
LL#1350
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LL#1350
sholio posting in recthethingI posted a set of vid recs to my DW: recs for the Avatar shows, Stranger Things, 80s slasher movies, X-Men movies, Torchwood, Babylon 5, Star Wars OT, and Schitt's Creek.
See the recs here!
See the recs here!
ysobel posting in agonyaunt[I think this is the same situation as in conuly's last post but with more details]
Dear Eric: My husband and I have been together for 11 years. He has one daughter, 43, with two young children I adore and have been close to until last summer when the volcano erupted.
Since the beginning of our relationship, I have made every effort to be loving and generous to his daughter. She acts entitled and ungrateful to me.
It’s my fault for not standing up for myself early in my joining the family. For example, I wish to be thanked for gifts, babysitting, making holidays happen, having them over for dinner and so on.
She doesn’t seem to care about me at all. Her father will not stand up to her and seems scared of her.
Last summer I blew up at her in a text and let her know how I feel about her behavior.
I called her a manipulative user and let her know my truth which is certainly not her truth. I apologized twice in two letters for being so harsh, but she will not forgive me, allow a repair or let me see the grandkids. Her father will not help. This is hurting our marriage.
I miss the little ones terribly and cried for months about this. Yes, I am in therapy and hoping my husband will go to couples counseling together. Funny, he is a psychotherapist. I would be most appreciative if you can offer us your help.
— Missing Family
Family: Ask yourself what you have the power to change and what you need to accept, even if you don’t like it.
For instance, you probably should accept that the relationship with your husband’s daughter is not serving either one of you right now. And it’s probably because her relationship with your husband is not healthy. It’s likely that some of the frustration you’re feeling stems from a desire to change something that’s outside of your control.
You write that your husband won’t help you. If you want him to compel his daughter to accept your apology, that might not actually be useful. Unfortunately, even though your relationship with the grandkids was, perhaps, healthy, the other relationships supporting it are less so.
So, what can you change? Well, you’re doing the most important first step by working on yourself in therapy. If your husband won’t go to couples counseling (which he should), ask him why and ask him how he proposes to help you both communicate better.
conuly's last post but with more details]Dear Eric: My husband and I have been together for 11 years. He has one daughter, 43, with two young children I adore and have been close to until last summer when the volcano erupted.
Since the beginning of our relationship, I have made every effort to be loving and generous to his daughter. She acts entitled and ungrateful to me.
It’s my fault for not standing up for myself early in my joining the family. For example, I wish to be thanked for gifts, babysitting, making holidays happen, having them over for dinner and so on.
She doesn’t seem to care about me at all. Her father will not stand up to her and seems scared of her.
Last summer I blew up at her in a text and let her know how I feel about her behavior.
I called her a manipulative user and let her know my truth which is certainly not her truth. I apologized twice in two letters for being so harsh, but she will not forgive me, allow a repair or let me see the grandkids. Her father will not help. This is hurting our marriage.
I miss the little ones terribly and cried for months about this. Yes, I am in therapy and hoping my husband will go to couples counseling together. Funny, he is a psychotherapist. I would be most appreciative if you can offer us your help.
— Missing Family
Family: Ask yourself what you have the power to change and what you need to accept, even if you don’t like it.
For instance, you probably should accept that the relationship with your husband’s daughter is not serving either one of you right now. And it’s probably because her relationship with your husband is not healthy. It’s likely that some of the frustration you’re feeling stems from a desire to change something that’s outside of your control.
You write that your husband won’t help you. If you want him to compel his daughter to accept your apology, that might not actually be useful. Unfortunately, even though your relationship with the grandkids was, perhaps, healthy, the other relationships supporting it are less so.
So, what can you change? Well, you’re doing the most important first step by working on yourself in therapy. If your husband won’t go to couples counseling (which he should), ask him why and ask him how he proposes to help you both communicate better.
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