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beansideIt's Sunday, which means that it's bring home dad day. Of course, just in time, last night when he called, he seemed a bit confused, so we'll see how he is this morning. If he's still out of it, he might be going to the hospital for a sepsis work up again.
I am so fucking anxious. I've been projecting calm and confidence, but I'm really not. I'm afraid things are going to slide sideways and we're going to fuck up. I'm afraid that the rehab isn't going to have him ready in time and my transportation is going to leave us, I'm afraid that he'll be confused and I'll have to make the call of whether he comes home or goes to the ER. I'm afraid that one of us will hurt ourselves helping him. That's my secret, Cap. I'm always anxious.
I don't know what our life is going to look like tomorrow, and that's freaking me out a touch. I told Jess that I don't expect to be renting the bed for that long. I really feel like he's basically coming home to die. He may prove me wrong, and totally hang around for a while, but with the Afib and all that, I just don't know.
Yesterday was a productive day. First we had our Mad Mage game, and that was a lot of fun. Then, we had JunkBusters come and clean off our back porch of all the shit that Jess heroically cleaned out of dad's room. Bed, mattress, trash, all gone. The only thing left on the back porch is a bag of charcoal that the bag is disintegrating. I'll sweep that up on a day when it's not raining and my back isn't giving me shit.
Okay, time for me to go be anxious elsewhere. Everyone have a wonderful Sunday!
I am so fucking anxious. I've been projecting calm and confidence, but I'm really not. I'm afraid things are going to slide sideways and we're going to fuck up. I'm afraid that the rehab isn't going to have him ready in time and my transportation is going to leave us, I'm afraid that he'll be confused and I'll have to make the call of whether he comes home or goes to the ER. I'm afraid that one of us will hurt ourselves helping him. That's my secret, Cap. I'm always anxious.
I don't know what our life is going to look like tomorrow, and that's freaking me out a touch. I told Jess that I don't expect to be renting the bed for that long. I really feel like he's basically coming home to die. He may prove me wrong, and totally hang around for a while, but with the Afib and all that, I just don't know.
Yesterday was a productive day. First we had our Mad Mage game, and that was a lot of fun. Then, we had JunkBusters come and clean off our back porch of all the shit that Jess heroically cleaned out of dad's room. Bed, mattress, trash, all gone. The only thing left on the back porch is a bag of charcoal that the bag is disintegrating. I'll sweep that up on a day when it's not raining and my back isn't giving me shit.
Okay, time for me to go be anxious elsewhere. Everyone have a wonderful Sunday!
