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beansideOkay, so this was originally planned to be out for Christmas, but life got in the way. *shrug*
Anyway...some Deathknell for your reading pleasure.
Title: Merry Little Christmas Now
Rating: R
Authors:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
beanside and nilchance
Disclaimer: Never happened, all fiction.
The scent of coffee pulled him out of the warm cocoon of sleep and comfort. It always did, Jeff thought. Ingrained for years upon years of running. Coffee meant that someone else was moving around. You didn't sleep when others were near. Not unless you wanted a knife in the back.
He stretched slowly, feeling Jared's skin warm against his. Jared burrowed closer, feet practically hanging of the bed so that he could nuzzle up under Jeff's chin, and Jeff felt his lips curl in a fond smile. For this, it had all been worth it. There was no price he wouldn't pay, nothing he wouldn't give, just for this.
He felt, more than heard, stirring to his left, and Jeff opened his eyes, smiling over Jared at Jensen. "Morning," he whispered. Jensen had his own room, but they'd made sure there was room for him with them, too. He had the choice of their oversized plush bed, or the daybed that was piled with pillows and furs. Most mornings, Jeff found him there, curled up among them with Bisou. Some days, the sight of their heads peeking over the furs were all that got him out of bed.
Now, Jensen was slipping off the daybed, trying not to disturb Bisou. He froze for a moment, eyes wide, then relaxed. "Morning."
"Merry Christmas."
A nervous smile touched Jensen's lips. "Yeah. Um. Merry Christmas. I'm going to make breakfast."
"Okay, I'll be up to help you in a minute."
Jensen unexpectedly grinned. "Uh-huh. If you say so." He headed out into the living room area, and Jeff heard him murmur something. Jason's laughter answered him, and Jeff grinned. Jason was the best find they'd ever made, no question. He was good at his job, but more than that, he was good with Jensen.
Those two were rapidly becoming a force to be reckoned with. Jensen would allow Jason more leeway than the rest of them in some things. Jason had been the one to help Jensen work his way up to the nutritionist's guidelines when the rest of them hadn't noticed he was struggling. Jason had taken him Christmas shopping (God help them all if everyone else's presents were anything like what Jensen had gotten for Jared). Jason was teaching Jensen how to do yoga, after having Jensen watch him for a week, asking the "purpose" of putting your head up your ass, or whatever.
Pulling his attention from Jensen, Jeff looked fondly down at Jared, only to find those hazel eyes watching him with a wicked look in them.
"Morning," Jared said too innocently. His hand slid up Jeff's thigh.
"Door's open," Jeff said.
"Mm." Leaning up, Jared kissed him. Lazy, open-mouthed, drugging kisses, his palm resting hot on Jeff's hip. When Jared's other hand came up to cup Jeff's face, Jeff's will cracked. He kissed Jared back, biting at his mouth until Jared shivered.
"Don't make a sound," Jeff breathed, lips brushing along Jared's jaw.
"Why-ah," Jared arched as Jeff's hand slid under his boxers, fingers curling around the hardening length.
"Shhh!" Jeff muttered, the command spoiled by the laughter that he couldn't quite stifle. "You're so loud," he purred, nuzzling at Jared's throat, tickling him with his stubble until Jared laughed, pulling him close.
"Bite me, Mr. President," Jared muttered, then yelped when Jeff did, promping Bisou to go join Jensen in the living room with a long suffering sigh. Jared snickered. "Look what you did. You scared the dog."
"I scared the dog?" Jeff shifted to a firm grip, stroking as Jared hissed and arched. "You better watch it or I'll give you a hickey."
Kicking his legs further apart, Jared swatted at Jeff until he let go. With a lot of wiggling and elbowing each other, Jared could finally wrap his hand around them both. "Better," Jared muttered, and squirmed when Jeff bit his chin. "Nngh. Good."
Jeff echoed him, burying his face in Jared's shoulder. It was good, messy and fast. Jared smelled like laundry softener and sleep. Jeff snuffled at him, made Jared laugh, both of them shaky with sex. A few more strokes, and Jared started making the hitching noise that meant he was fast on his way. Jeff could feel himself getting there, too, tension coiling in his belly-- had to be quiet, Jensen, but-- it was--
He bit Jared's sweatshirt as he came, muffling his sharp response. Jared breathed something lewd and incoherent, his hand moving faster now with Jeff's come as lube, and Jeff looked up just in time to see Jared's face as he bucked and climaxed.
Not a bad way to spend Christmas morning.
Burrowing his face against Jared's throat, Jeff closed his eyes and smiled. He smelled coffee and something on the griddle. Maple. Pine from their tree, and Jared's come. This was good. This was what he fought for.
"I love you," Jeff murmured, his heart clenching. "I love you."
Jared kissed the top of his head. "I know. You too."
Lifting his head, Jeff said, "Thank you for coming here with me. I couldn't have..."
Jared rubbed his thumb across Jeff's cheek. "You'd have been okay. But yeah. I'm glad I'm here, too." His eyes drifted towards the kitchen. "And him, and Kane. Our screwy little family."
His family. Everything Jeff had wanted since Deathknell destroyed his world. Throat tight, Jeff tilted his head into Jared's hand.
As ever, Jared saved him by asking, "Are those pancakes I smell?"
"Dunno. Better go ask." Scrubbing Jared's belly clean with his shirt, Jeff stripped it off and tossed it into the laundry basket. Three point shot, easy. Too bad his audience was already pulling on sweats and going to get breakfast.
Jeff followed at a slower pace, getting another shirt and his robe. Slippers too, since Alaska winters were a bitch. As he entered the living room, he paused long enough to enjoy the view. A Christmas tree covered in lopsided garlands and mismatched ornaments, casting rainbow lights onto the pile of presents beneath it; the snow piled outside their window; Jared getting coffee from the kitchen, bumping shoulders with Jensen, Bisou underfoot.
Raising his eyes from the stove, Jensen gave his shy smile. Jeff touched his shoulder in passing, on his way to the coffee, and Jensen shifted a little to block Jeff. "Um," Jensen said, his hands raised like he wasn't sure what to do with the scraper. "Jeff."
"Yeah, sweetheart." Jeff took a step back, giving Jensen more room. "Something wrong?"
"No, I. I just." Jensen put the scraper down, hesitated, and lunged into Jeff hard enough to knock him back a step.
Was there a sniper? No, no, he was still on his feet, and Jensen's arms were... Jen was hugging him. Jen was hugging him.
Slowly, Jeff brought his arms around Jensen and wrapped him up. The tension bled away from Jensen's stance; he leaned into Jeff with a relieved breath, his grip tightening.
Jeff didn't care if his smile broke his face. Jensen had come to him for this, not the other way around. It was a gift.
"Hey," Jeff murmured. "Hi."
"Hi," Jensen said, muffled against Jeff's chest. "I'm hugging you."
"I see that."
"It's customary."
"Mm. Nice custom."
Jensen peeked up, glaring. "Are you laughing at me?"
"Not a chance, sweetheart. Just happy." If that wasn't the understatement of the year, Jeff didn't know what was. Happy didn't even begin to touch the emotion choking his throat. "You know what?"
"What?"
"I'm so glad you found us," Jeff managed. I love you, he thought. There was no way Jensen was ready to hear that. But god, it was true. Somehow, in almost no time, Jensen had slid under his guard.
Jensen ducked, shying away and going back to the stove to poke at the pancakes. But the message had been heard and understood.
Breakfast was its usual loud affair, as the guards who weren't on duty came over to breakfast, or to pick up plates to take to the sentry houses that ringed the border.
Finally, everyone but Jason and Kane had gone, and Jeff settled in front of the fire. "Okay, present time. Who wants to give first?" he asked, knowing full well what the answer was.
"Can I?" Jensen asked, flashing Jeff a conspiratorial grin.
Jeff grinned back. "Sounds like fun."
Jason got up and went to fetch the big basket that was waiting in Jensen's room, sitting it on the floor in front of Jared.
"And what do we have here?" Jared teased, opening it slowly. Then, as the blanket slid away, his face went slack for a moment. Surprise and what Jeff knew was dawning delight widened Jared's eyes.
"If you don't like them, I'll keep them, but he was yelling at them, and they were in a cage and--" Jensen broke off as Jared raised teary eyes and beamed. "You like them?"
Jared nodded, reaching into the basket and pulling out the sleepy faced puppies inside. "Oh, Jen," he breathed. "They're adorable. Thank you."
Jensen shrugged, but his cheeks were pink.
"Great," Christian drawled, "more mutts."
Jared stretched out a leg and kicked Christian. "Ass. Like you don't make kissy faces at Bisou when you don't think anybody sees."
"Big bad operative," Jason said gravely. "He was so mean he came in every night to check on them. In case they were loaded or something."
Kane's glare could've made a lesser man flinch. Jason reached over and solemnly tweaked Kane's nose.
Jared set the puppies on the ground to stumble on wobbly legs, investigating the mugs of coffee and the scraps of pancakes. Bisou crept over, hugging Jeff's side and stretching as far as she could to sniff the puppies without betraying interest. She snuffled the bigger puppy so intensely that he flopped over, oversized paws in the air. Bisou prodded the other puppy, the girl, with her nose, and seemed startled by the puppy's reply yip. Then Bisou hauled both puppies close to slurp at their heads and let them pull her ears.
"Bisou's in charge of foriegn policy," Jeff decided. Jared snickered and leaned against him, resting his head on Jeff as he smiled at their dogs. If they'd quietly been introducing Bisou and the puppies over the last week to avoid a scene on Christmas morning, well. Jared didn't need to know.
They unwrapped the rest of their presents with the puppies getting into everything, encouraged by Jared rolling up the wrapping paper into balls and tossing it for them to clamor after. Jason seemed surprised to get anything, but accepted gifts with grace; Jeff couldn't miss the simmering, slow way Jason watched Kane when Christian was otherwise occupied. Trouble there, maybe, but it was the sort of trouble that would be good for Chris.
Jensen kept trying to defer their presents, but Jeff saw him lovingly stroke the cookbooks they'd bought him when he didn't think anyone saw. He saw Jensen light up when they opened their presents from him, painstakingly chosen and wrapped.
Afterwards, in the wreckage of wrapping paper and empty plates, there was quiet. Work to be done, things to plan, but Jeff didn't get up from his comfortable snuggle with Jared. Amazingly, Kane didn't get restless, but Jeff was pretty sure he knew why; Chris kept by Jensen's side, leaning over his shoulder as he paged through the cookbooks, murmuring in his ear and laughing. They'd all lost too much for Christian to willingly miss this.
The damnedest thing was, Christian wouldn't let Jason go back to work either. Kane slung his feet into Jason's lap and kept him on the couch, close to Jensen. Close to them both. Jason glanced at Jeff, for help or for permission, and Jeff threw a wrapping paper ball at his head. After that, Jason didn't squirm.
The fire burned, the world turned on, and for the day Jeff decided to believe in miracle
Anyway...some Deathknell for your reading pleasure.
Title: Merry Little Christmas Now
Rating: R
Authors:
beanside and nilchanceDisclaimer: Never happened, all fiction.
The scent of coffee pulled him out of the warm cocoon of sleep and comfort. It always did, Jeff thought. Ingrained for years upon years of running. Coffee meant that someone else was moving around. You didn't sleep when others were near. Not unless you wanted a knife in the back.
He stretched slowly, feeling Jared's skin warm against his. Jared burrowed closer, feet practically hanging of the bed so that he could nuzzle up under Jeff's chin, and Jeff felt his lips curl in a fond smile. For this, it had all been worth it. There was no price he wouldn't pay, nothing he wouldn't give, just for this.
He felt, more than heard, stirring to his left, and Jeff opened his eyes, smiling over Jared at Jensen. "Morning," he whispered. Jensen had his own room, but they'd made sure there was room for him with them, too. He had the choice of their oversized plush bed, or the daybed that was piled with pillows and furs. Most mornings, Jeff found him there, curled up among them with Bisou. Some days, the sight of their heads peeking over the furs were all that got him out of bed.
Now, Jensen was slipping off the daybed, trying not to disturb Bisou. He froze for a moment, eyes wide, then relaxed. "Morning."
"Merry Christmas."
A nervous smile touched Jensen's lips. "Yeah. Um. Merry Christmas. I'm going to make breakfast."
"Okay, I'll be up to help you in a minute."
Jensen unexpectedly grinned. "Uh-huh. If you say so." He headed out into the living room area, and Jeff heard him murmur something. Jason's laughter answered him, and Jeff grinned. Jason was the best find they'd ever made, no question. He was good at his job, but more than that, he was good with Jensen.
Those two were rapidly becoming a force to be reckoned with. Jensen would allow Jason more leeway than the rest of them in some things. Jason had been the one to help Jensen work his way up to the nutritionist's guidelines when the rest of them hadn't noticed he was struggling. Jason had taken him Christmas shopping (God help them all if everyone else's presents were anything like what Jensen had gotten for Jared). Jason was teaching Jensen how to do yoga, after having Jensen watch him for a week, asking the "purpose" of putting your head up your ass, or whatever.
Pulling his attention from Jensen, Jeff looked fondly down at Jared, only to find those hazel eyes watching him with a wicked look in them.
"Morning," Jared said too innocently. His hand slid up Jeff's thigh.
"Door's open," Jeff said.
"Mm." Leaning up, Jared kissed him. Lazy, open-mouthed, drugging kisses, his palm resting hot on Jeff's hip. When Jared's other hand came up to cup Jeff's face, Jeff's will cracked. He kissed Jared back, biting at his mouth until Jared shivered.
"Don't make a sound," Jeff breathed, lips brushing along Jared's jaw.
"Why-ah," Jared arched as Jeff's hand slid under his boxers, fingers curling around the hardening length.
"Shhh!" Jeff muttered, the command spoiled by the laughter that he couldn't quite stifle. "You're so loud," he purred, nuzzling at Jared's throat, tickling him with his stubble until Jared laughed, pulling him close.
"Bite me, Mr. President," Jared muttered, then yelped when Jeff did, promping Bisou to go join Jensen in the living room with a long suffering sigh. Jared snickered. "Look what you did. You scared the dog."
"I scared the dog?" Jeff shifted to a firm grip, stroking as Jared hissed and arched. "You better watch it or I'll give you a hickey."
Kicking his legs further apart, Jared swatted at Jeff until he let go. With a lot of wiggling and elbowing each other, Jared could finally wrap his hand around them both. "Better," Jared muttered, and squirmed when Jeff bit his chin. "Nngh. Good."
Jeff echoed him, burying his face in Jared's shoulder. It was good, messy and fast. Jared smelled like laundry softener and sleep. Jeff snuffled at him, made Jared laugh, both of them shaky with sex. A few more strokes, and Jared started making the hitching noise that meant he was fast on his way. Jeff could feel himself getting there, too, tension coiling in his belly-- had to be quiet, Jensen, but-- it was--
He bit Jared's sweatshirt as he came, muffling his sharp response. Jared breathed something lewd and incoherent, his hand moving faster now with Jeff's come as lube, and Jeff looked up just in time to see Jared's face as he bucked and climaxed.
Not a bad way to spend Christmas morning.
Burrowing his face against Jared's throat, Jeff closed his eyes and smiled. He smelled coffee and something on the griddle. Maple. Pine from their tree, and Jared's come. This was good. This was what he fought for.
"I love you," Jeff murmured, his heart clenching. "I love you."
Jared kissed the top of his head. "I know. You too."
Lifting his head, Jeff said, "Thank you for coming here with me. I couldn't have..."
Jared rubbed his thumb across Jeff's cheek. "You'd have been okay. But yeah. I'm glad I'm here, too." His eyes drifted towards the kitchen. "And him, and Kane. Our screwy little family."
His family. Everything Jeff had wanted since Deathknell destroyed his world. Throat tight, Jeff tilted his head into Jared's hand.
As ever, Jared saved him by asking, "Are those pancakes I smell?"
"Dunno. Better go ask." Scrubbing Jared's belly clean with his shirt, Jeff stripped it off and tossed it into the laundry basket. Three point shot, easy. Too bad his audience was already pulling on sweats and going to get breakfast.
Jeff followed at a slower pace, getting another shirt and his robe. Slippers too, since Alaska winters were a bitch. As he entered the living room, he paused long enough to enjoy the view. A Christmas tree covered in lopsided garlands and mismatched ornaments, casting rainbow lights onto the pile of presents beneath it; the snow piled outside their window; Jared getting coffee from the kitchen, bumping shoulders with Jensen, Bisou underfoot.
Raising his eyes from the stove, Jensen gave his shy smile. Jeff touched his shoulder in passing, on his way to the coffee, and Jensen shifted a little to block Jeff. "Um," Jensen said, his hands raised like he wasn't sure what to do with the scraper. "Jeff."
"Yeah, sweetheart." Jeff took a step back, giving Jensen more room. "Something wrong?"
"No, I. I just." Jensen put the scraper down, hesitated, and lunged into Jeff hard enough to knock him back a step.
Was there a sniper? No, no, he was still on his feet, and Jensen's arms were... Jen was hugging him. Jen was hugging him.
Slowly, Jeff brought his arms around Jensen and wrapped him up. The tension bled away from Jensen's stance; he leaned into Jeff with a relieved breath, his grip tightening.
Jeff didn't care if his smile broke his face. Jensen had come to him for this, not the other way around. It was a gift.
"Hey," Jeff murmured. "Hi."
"Hi," Jensen said, muffled against Jeff's chest. "I'm hugging you."
"I see that."
"It's customary."
"Mm. Nice custom."
Jensen peeked up, glaring. "Are you laughing at me?"
"Not a chance, sweetheart. Just happy." If that wasn't the understatement of the year, Jeff didn't know what was. Happy didn't even begin to touch the emotion choking his throat. "You know what?"
"What?"
"I'm so glad you found us," Jeff managed. I love you, he thought. There was no way Jensen was ready to hear that. But god, it was true. Somehow, in almost no time, Jensen had slid under his guard.
Jensen ducked, shying away and going back to the stove to poke at the pancakes. But the message had been heard and understood.
Breakfast was its usual loud affair, as the guards who weren't on duty came over to breakfast, or to pick up plates to take to the sentry houses that ringed the border.
Finally, everyone but Jason and Kane had gone, and Jeff settled in front of the fire. "Okay, present time. Who wants to give first?" he asked, knowing full well what the answer was.
"Can I?" Jensen asked, flashing Jeff a conspiratorial grin.
Jeff grinned back. "Sounds like fun."
Jason got up and went to fetch the big basket that was waiting in Jensen's room, sitting it on the floor in front of Jared.
"And what do we have here?" Jared teased, opening it slowly. Then, as the blanket slid away, his face went slack for a moment. Surprise and what Jeff knew was dawning delight widened Jared's eyes.
"If you don't like them, I'll keep them, but he was yelling at them, and they were in a cage and--" Jensen broke off as Jared raised teary eyes and beamed. "You like them?"
Jared nodded, reaching into the basket and pulling out the sleepy faced puppies inside. "Oh, Jen," he breathed. "They're adorable. Thank you."
Jensen shrugged, but his cheeks were pink.
"Great," Christian drawled, "more mutts."
Jared stretched out a leg and kicked Christian. "Ass. Like you don't make kissy faces at Bisou when you don't think anybody sees."
"Big bad operative," Jason said gravely. "He was so mean he came in every night to check on them. In case they were loaded or something."
Kane's glare could've made a lesser man flinch. Jason reached over and solemnly tweaked Kane's nose.
Jared set the puppies on the ground to stumble on wobbly legs, investigating the mugs of coffee and the scraps of pancakes. Bisou crept over, hugging Jeff's side and stretching as far as she could to sniff the puppies without betraying interest. She snuffled the bigger puppy so intensely that he flopped over, oversized paws in the air. Bisou prodded the other puppy, the girl, with her nose, and seemed startled by the puppy's reply yip. Then Bisou hauled both puppies close to slurp at their heads and let them pull her ears.
"Bisou's in charge of foriegn policy," Jeff decided. Jared snickered and leaned against him, resting his head on Jeff as he smiled at their dogs. If they'd quietly been introducing Bisou and the puppies over the last week to avoid a scene on Christmas morning, well. Jared didn't need to know.
They unwrapped the rest of their presents with the puppies getting into everything, encouraged by Jared rolling up the wrapping paper into balls and tossing it for them to clamor after. Jason seemed surprised to get anything, but accepted gifts with grace; Jeff couldn't miss the simmering, slow way Jason watched Kane when Christian was otherwise occupied. Trouble there, maybe, but it was the sort of trouble that would be good for Chris.
Jensen kept trying to defer their presents, but Jeff saw him lovingly stroke the cookbooks they'd bought him when he didn't think anyone saw. He saw Jensen light up when they opened their presents from him, painstakingly chosen and wrapped.
Afterwards, in the wreckage of wrapping paper and empty plates, there was quiet. Work to be done, things to plan, but Jeff didn't get up from his comfortable snuggle with Jared. Amazingly, Kane didn't get restless, but Jeff was pretty sure he knew why; Chris kept by Jensen's side, leaning over his shoulder as he paged through the cookbooks, murmuring in his ear and laughing. They'd all lost too much for Christian to willingly miss this.
The damnedest thing was, Christian wouldn't let Jason go back to work either. Kane slung his feet into Jason's lap and kept him on the couch, close to Jensen. Close to them both. Jason glanced at Jeff, for help or for permission, and Jeff threw a wrapping paper ball at his head. After that, Jason didn't squirm.
The fire burned, the world turned on, and for the day Jeff decided to believe in miracle
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