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beansideMore of the Deathknell verse, as promised.
Title: Beneath the Halo Moon
Authors:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nilchance and beanside
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Totally a work of fiction. Never happened.
A/N: Special thanks totopaz119 and embroiderama, who stepped in to beta for us. All remaining mistakes are ours.
It wasn't that often they had a quiet day like this, Jeff thought, squeezing a little more ashen red onto the palette. Usually, Jared was working, even on Sundays. Slavers didn't take a break, so neither did the Agency. Maybe, if it was a mostly quiet weekend, he'd see Jare on Sunday afternoon--have a little quiet time before he started the daily grind on Monday.
It was nice, the expectation of having Jared home all day. Jeff couldn't begrudge him the job; it had been the only thing holding Jared together in the beginning, a lifeline out of a deep well of depression and fury. Jeff had spent enough time alone that he'd come to enjoy it, to need his space to think. Still, he'd be lying if he said there wasn't some small, selfish part of him that wanted Jared out of the field so there'd be no more sleepless nights in an empty house, no more waiting for Jared to come home. No more worry whether he'd come home banged up--or not at all. That last raid, when Jared had bagged a vice cop and ended up in US custody-- God, that had come too close.
If Jared switched to an administrative job--even one with the same grueling hours, Jeff would have him close again. He'd have Jared's laugh filling the house, Jared's body stretched out long as he did paperwork in bed. Jared's smile. Some days, they barely even saw each other over dinner.
That was the job. Hell, at least Jared wasn't as bad as Christian, with his string of failed relationships and a cot set up in his office. When Kane was shot two years ago, Sandy practically had to sit on him to keep him in bed and out of the office. There was dedication, and then there was bugfuck crazy.
Anyway. Jared.
Jeff'd woken up to Jared tucking Jensen back into bed, telling him to get a couple more minutes of sleep. Not a bad way to wake up, necessarily, until he'd opened his eyes to find Jensen staring at him like he'd found his way into bed with the devil. It'd stung, even when Jensen crawled into him looking to get warm. Jeff liked contact, liked touching. He liked sitting in a puppy pile watching movies at Mike's, for God's sake; holding Jensen through an early morning chill hadn't been any hardship. Jensen shivered, but towards the end Jeff could feel him starting to uncoil a little, lying quiet in Jeff's arms. It was like trying to gentle a skittish cat into letting itself be petted. If Jensen only came to him for the warmth, that was still something. Some measure of trust.
It didn't fit with that look, though. Nothing did.
The quiet had lasted all of twenty minutes before Jensen was back up, trying to clean the living room. Jeff'd finally convinced him to sit down with breakfast and watch some television. Jensen had protested the whole way that he was fine, that he wanted to serve. He'd barely made it into a pre-Deathknell comedy before he'd dozed off again, sitting upright. At least his need for sleep was reasserting itself without more sedatives.
He was still sleeping, curled into the afghan Jared had knitted, looking both terribly young and innocent. Somehow, Jeff didn't quite buy the innocence. Not after that moment this morning, that dead stare before Jensen had snuggled up against him. The look in Jensen's eyes--
Jensen had every right to be angry. Jeff had expected that. But Christ, that had been the look of a man staring through the gates of hell. Jeff was missing something, a nagging gap in the puzzle. He ran the details over and over again, tumbling them in the back of his thoughts, trying to draw them into clarity.
So far, all he'd gotten was a headache and a serious need for more coffee. And maybe another muffin. Whatever else Jensen was, he was a damned good baker.
The house was quiet, settling into early morning snow. Jensen showed no signs of stirring; he'd crashed so hard Jeff kept watching him to be sure he was even breathing. With a couple of minutes to kill, Jeff went to work on one of his paintings: the sky over Seattle during the Deathknell crisis. The ash from the burning bodies had gotten into the air, polluted the atmosphere until the filtered sunlight turned the sky to blood.
He'd been ten when he'd seen it, but Jeff would never forget it: the hazy light, the smell of sickness and charring flesh. Mostly, though, he remembered the feel of his grandmother's hand tight on his arm, her face drawn with fear. That had scared him more than the hell around him, right out of the shock of burying his mother and grandfather and into real terror. He could still remember that moment; the dawning realization thatnot everything could be fixed. The world wouldn't always yield to his wishes. And most importantly, nothing lasted forever.
Funny, how that last part kept coming up in his mind lately.
The phone chirped, jerking him back to the loft. Jeff put the palette down, scooping up the phone before it could wake Jensen. With a quick glance down, he confirmed that Jensen was still out, grumbling as he snuggled deeper into the couch. Cute.
"Hello?" Jeff said, pitching his voice for quiet.
"Jeff, we've got a problem." Christian's voice was tight. Afraid.
Jeff stilled, staring at the canvas and feeling the slow grip of dread. Forcing himself to sound light, he asked, "Is this another paranoid goose chase or a real problem?"
"No, it's real." Christian sighed wearily. "I've been here all night, trying to crack your new friend's case file. It's pretty well buried, but we've managed to find a few tidbits. Jonas only had him for a week. Before that, Jensen belonged to Bentley."
"The Knife?" Jeff sat on the edge of his desk.
The Knife, an old nightmare of the Vegas underworld, had gone halfway legitimate as Chief of Security for the President for Life. Bentley was a murderer, sadistically meticulous in creating death scenes and equally precise about never leaving tracks. He was used for the worst executions, dragging traitors out in front of the camera, dissasembling them piece by piece, keeping them alive in their ruined bodies as long as he could. Bentley was the boogieman, rarely seen outside the perimeter of the new White House in Peoria. But his puppets were spread across the globe. He'd snapped after Kane had put a bullet in his wife, Angeline's brain, retreating into research, finding new ways to tear the human body into pieces.
He had owned Jensen. He had let Jensen live. There weren't too many reasons for that.
"Yeah," Kane said, apparently letting Jeff come to his own conclusions. "Him."
"Well, shit." Dragging a hand through his hair, Jeff rubbed the back of his neck and stared down at Jensen. Sleeping, harmless, broken. Black Band. After Jared had been held in US custody, they'd known that Jared would be going to those illegal auctions. Did they know Jared was Jeff's? Fuck. Fuck. "That's problematic."
"There's more." Christian took a deep breath. Bracing himself? Jesus.
"Oh, joy. Go ahead, Kane. Piss on my morning some more," Jeff drawled.
"Jensen's... he's the one, man. You found him."
The oxygen in the room seemed to thin. Jeff sucked in a hard breath, trying to find his balance. He leaned hard against the rail of the loft, looking down at Jensen. Tall; someone had taken care of him once, not recently, not Bentley or Jonas. Someone a long time ago. Someone who had child slaves. Someone who trained him to spy? To kill? Slaves with freckles, green eyes. Jensen almost matched the description, almost--
"The one?" he asked shakily. He needed to hear it out loud, to hear it from Kane. Kane would know.
"He was Morgan's, Jeff," Kane said, and gave a rough laugh. "Christ, after all this time, he finds us. Typical."
"Fuck," Jeff whispered, holding the phone against his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut.
After all the years of searching, it was finally over. He'd found his grandmother's last slave.
And Bentley had sent him to auction for Jared to find.
"Jeff? Jeff!" Kane yelled. "Goddamn it, I'm coming over! You know he's not here to thank you and exchange greeting cards, you dumb bastard."
"I'm here," Jeff managed, his voice thick in his throat. "Don't--don't come yet. I'll call you back."
"You-"
Jeff hung up the phone and stared at the brilliant panoramic view beneath him without seeing. It didn't matter. None of it mattered. They'd found him.
No. Jensen had found Jeff. If Bentley knew where he was, they'd all be dead by now. Bentley had sent in a starved, unarmed slave, and now Jensen didn't even have surprise on his side. Jeff had about fifty pounds on Jensen, plus the taser. Jensen was exhausted, hurt and probably sick. If it came to a fight, Jeff would win.
God, even thinking about that kind of fight made his stomach roll.
He was still staring at nothing when Jared got back, flushed and beautiful, grinning in that infectious way he had. Jared was halfway up the loft ladder before Jeff could draw himself back to the present.
"Hey," Jared murmured, expression softening with concern. "Everything okay, baby? You look like you saw a ghost."
Jeff looked at him, drinking Jared in. Jared's warmth, his light, Jeff couldn't drag him into--
"Marry me," Jeff blurted.
"What?" Jared laughed, looking like he wasn't sure what the game was, but willing to learn. Wrinkling his nose, Jared leaned into him. "Sorry, I can't hear you past the crazy man rambling."
Baby, Jeff thought grimly, you don't know the half of it. Cupping Jared's shoulders, Jeff drew him closer. "Marry me. Y'know, holy matrimony?"
"Yeah, right. I don't think I'd look good in a white dress, and Kane would be hideous in taffeta."
"I don't think you'd qualify for white," Jeff shot back, and managed a smile. Sliding off the desk and onto his knees, Jeff took Jared's hand. "I'm serious."
"While you're down there," Jared said, shifting his weight nervously. "Jeff-"
Jeff's heart was pounding. He had to swallow twice before he got out, "Jared Padalecki, will you marry me?"
Dark eyes met Jeff's and Jared's face softened. "You're really serious," he murmured.
"Totally." Jeff met his eyes, wondering if the sick desperation showed on his face. He needed this. Needed to tie Jared to him, to have one more bond that might keep him by Jeff's side. At least then, if (when) they killed him, Jared would get the money.
Jared would be safer this way. Kane would make sure of that. Goddamn it, it was never supposed to come to this.
"Yes," Jared murmured simply, smile so open and free that it made Jeff's throat ache. "God, you don't even have to ask. Yes."
"Yes." Jeff came to his feet, hands cradling Jared's face, pulling him down for a kiss. Jared laughed into the kiss, and grabbed Jeff by the shirt to keep him close. Then the angle shifted, or the world shifted, and the kiss was something else. Jared's lips parted; Jeff slid deeper to taste him, sugar and coffee. He felt his hands tremble on Jared's jaw, his thumbs coasting over the sweep of Jared's cheekbones. Jared made a ragged sound, pressing Jeff back against the desk.
This was--they couldn't--
Jeff shifted, spreading his thighs so Jared's knee could fit between them, biting at Jared's mouth. Jared leaned against him, hands sliding down Jeff's chest to rest on his belly, steady strength like Jared would just press him back on the desk and take him hard. Jeff felt the growl rumble up his throat, felt Jared grin.
When Jared pulled back, Jeff let him. He felt dizzy, his breathing ragged. Jared's eyes were all pupil, feral and frustrated.
"Jensen," Jared said breathlessly.
Guilt hit like a brick. Jeff glanced away from Jared for a moment, until he knew his face wouldn't betray him. He swallowed, managed roughly, "Oh. Yeah."
"Yeah," Jared echoed. "We should..."
Jeff rubbed his chin absently. "Yeah."
Jared glanced down at Jensen's softly snoring form, then back at Jeff. The dark heat in Jared's eyes gave him a clue before those hands were sliding down to cup Jeff's hips. "We'll just have to be really quiet."
"Jare-" Jeff started, breaking off as Jared's fingers tightened, jerking him close so he could feel the hard press of Jared against his stomach. Biting back a groan, Jeff leaned his head back for a second to think without Jared's eyes on his, Jared's scent drowning him. As it turned out, that was all the invitation Jared needed to bend and bite the hollow of Jeff's throat. Jeff jerked, swallowing hard, and tried to remember why this was a bad idea.
Leaning in to let his mouth brush Jeff's ear, Jared purred, "Fuck me."
Jeff shuddered, the breath sending a shiver down his spine. "God, Jare," Jeff growled. "Want that. Want to be inside you, fuck you so hard, but-"
Jared arched back, all pliant, offering his throat. "Then what're you waiting for?"
With an invitation like that, how could he resist? Something in him gave way, the same violent need that put him on his knees with a proposal in his mouth. Jeff leaned forward, teeth grazing Jared's throat. The way Jared writhed, hips pressing harder against Jeff, nearly did him in right there. "Jesus," Jeff breathed, letting his hands slide up to grip the back of Jared's shirt, biting again just to feel Jared twist against him. Jared's hair would hide the marks, but they'd be there.
Pulling back to meet Jeff's eyes, Jared let his knees fold. He crouched in front of Jeff, already pulling at the waistband of Jeff's jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping fast and quiet. Jeff leaned back against the desk, gripping the edge, and glanced over his shoulder at the couch. Jensen was still out. God, this was so wrong-
Jared's fingers found his cock, easing the way out of Jeff's jeans. Jared stroked him, smirking up at Jeff through his hair, and bent to take Jeff in his mouth. Jeff felt his hips twitch, almost rocking the desk back against the railing. He forced himself to be still, muscles in his thighs trembling, fingers digging into the desk.
Jared lifted his head for a moment, flashing the lazy, slitted eyed smile that never failed to make Jeff want to throw him on the ground and go for it. "Gotta get you nice and slick," he said, voice dropping into an almost sub vocal purr of sound. "Not too much, though. Wanna feel it." His hand pumped Jeff lightly, teasing friction more than giving it. "Want to feel your big cock in my tight ass."
"Ohfuck," Jeff growled. "Gonna fuck you so good." His voice gave when Jared slid his lips back on to Jeff's cock, swallowing as much as he could in one easy motion. "God, Jare. Not too much, Jesus. Gonna make me come just like this."
Jared slanted a look through his eyelashes, considering, then gripped the base of Jeff's cock in ruthless fingers. Jeff closed his eyes, chewing the inside of his lip, until he could breathe again. He heard the creak of the floorboards under Jared as he rose, body pressing against Jeff's. Then came the slick sweep of Jared's tongue across his lower lip.
Jared's smile was smug. "Too much?" he whispered.
Holding Jared's eyes, Jeff slid off the desk and into Jared's space. He gripped Jared by the scruff, fingers tightening in Jared's hair, and watched the hunger flare in Jared's eyes. Jared let Jeff pull his head back, still smiling as Jeff made him bare throat. When Jeff pushed him at the canvas-draped rail, Jared grabbed for it and braced against it. His spine was a gorgeous curve, ass tilted up.
Jared's running pants slid down with a whisper of fabric, his cock bobbing free to curve towards his belly. Jeff could already see the head glistening with anticipation. Jeff pressed against him, cock riding between Jared's cheeks, slick and ready. He reached forward, dragging a callused finger along the head of Jared's cock before bringing his finger to his lips, tasting Jared salty and hot on his tongue.
"So good. Want to taste?" Jeff offered Jared his fingers, smiling as Jared lapped at them almost frantically. "Get 'em good and wet. Cause that's all the lube you're getting."
It was a damned good thing he had his fingers in Jare's mouth, Jeff thought. Another moan like that, and Jensen would have to be dead not to wake up. He closed his eyes as Jared sucked his fingers, tongue teasing along the calluses. It had been too long; his blood was up and pounding, every beat 'Jared' and 'mine'. Coasting his thumb along Jared's mouth, Jeff could feel the bump of his fingers and the hollowing of Jared's cheeks as he sucked hungrily.
Jeff drew his fingers out, growling into the back of Jared's neck as Jared tried to lean and follow his fingers. He kicked Jared's feet further apart, then laid his free palm over Jared's mouth. Jared whimpered, hips bucking back.
"You're going to be quiet for me," Jeff murmured, stroking his spit-slick fingers across Jared's hole. Jared twitched under his touch, trying to spread wider, making little noises against his palm. When Jeff slid a finger in, Jared arched back, hands seizing on the rail. Curling his finger up to rub, Jeff felt Jared shudder and smiled. "Shh, baby, yeah. Just like that."
A second finger made Jared bite at Jeff's palm, hips canting wantonly back.
"Love it when you're like this," Jeff whispered, biting at Jared's shoulder. "My pretty little slut."
Jared moaned against Jeff's hand. It had taken Jeff a long time to be comfortable with Jared's proclivities for dirty talk, but now it was hard to say who got off on it more.
Jeff twisted his fingers roughly, pulling them free. "That better be enough," he said. Whether or not Jared got off on it, Jeff still stroked Jared's jaw with his thumb, a wordless reminder that Jared could stop this on a dime. "Want you to feel it."
Jared spread his feet wider apart, silently begging. His expression was blissed-out, eyelashes heavy on his cheeks.
Despite his words, Jeff spit on his palm, quickly re-slicking himself before lining up. He pressed in slow, painful, biting Jared's shoulder as tight friction came dangerously close to too much. Jared's knuckles were white on the rail, his body pulsing around Jeff's cock. He panted against Jeff's hand, quick hot breaths, barely muffled moans.
Gripping Jared's hip, Jeff eased in until his hips touched the sweet curve of Jared's ass. He palmed Jared's stomach, feeling the muscles tighten, then fumbled down to curl his fingers around Jared's cock. Jared jerked in his arms, trembling. Jeff held still, jacking Jared's cock slow and deliberate, ignoring the need to drive deep and never stop. Finally, breath hitching, Jared moved back against him, going up on his toes, trying to fuck himself.
A quick bite to Jared's shoulder stilled him. "Not this time, Jare. My show."
Jared whimpered softly, and Jeff kissed where he'd bitten, soothing the mark.
He started rocking slowly--tiny, barely there movements--his hand never slowing on Jared's cock. Jeff let his eyes lock on Jensen, curled up on the couch, oblivious. Watched Jensen; moved for Jared, murmuring low filth against Jared's shoulder, rocking Jared back against his cock. Jared was slick under his fingers, soft wet noises curling around Jeff's spine as he shifted his grip to hold on tighter.
This was his. Whatever else happened, he would always have this.
All at once, Jared stiffened, tightened abruptly around him. Jeff let go, torn loose from solid ground, fucking him hard and relentless through his orgasm. Jared bit his palm, hands scrabbling for a grip on the rail, and Jeff fell hard with his fingers digging into Jared's hip.
Then it was quiet, their heavy breathing lost under the sound of the TV downstairs. Jeff forced his eyes open, confirmed that Jensen was still out, and let his forehead drop against the back of Jared's neck. Jesus, he was too old for this.
Jared moved first, coming to his knees with a soft laugh, shivering as Jeff slid free of him. "Goddamn," he breathed. "Don't know what got into you, but I like it."
Jeff helped him get tucked back into his pants and accepted Jared's hand up. "Too old to keep up with you," he breathed.
Jared leaned in, pressing a kiss to Jeff's lips. "Need the oxygen, old man?"
"I think I'll survive." He turned back to the painting, glancing back to Jared. "I'm going to do a little more on this, then I'll be down."
Jared smiled again, all open and free, eyes glittering in the light of the morning sun. "Don't be too long. I won't save you any cocoa."
"God forbid," Jeff teased.
Jared turned to head down the loft stairs, and Jeff closed his eyes. Jesus, he was insane. What if Jensen was here to kill him? Would he stop with Jeff? What if Jared was in the way?
"Jare. Hold up a second."
Jared turned, smile still intact. "What's up?"
"Do me a favor." Jeff considered his options on how much to tell Jared. "Kane called while you were out. He's a little antsy about Jensen. Won't say what, but he said that he was concerned about Jensen as a safety risk. To us," Jeff added.
Jared frowned. "He thinks Jensen is dangerous?"
"Potentially. Maybe... maybe we should let Kane take him," Jeff said.
"That's not really a viable option," Jared said, shaking his head. "He works eighteen hours a day. Jensen can't be alone right now. He's screwed up and a major suicide risk."
"Or he could go to work with Kane."
"Baby, you've seen Kane's office. It's a broom closet with a complex."
"What about the Community Center?" Jeff said. "He could go there while Kane was at work." It was a stupid suggestion, Jeff knew it. But the look of utter horror Jared turned on him made him feel like a grade-one asshole.
"Great, he can get raped by the pissed off labor slaves." With an incredulous look, Jared leaned on the rail. "Jeff, what the hell are you thinking?"
Yeah, that was the point. Jeff wasn't thinking. He owed Jensen and Jared both more than this blind panic. Dragging a hand through his hair, Jeff sighed. "You're right, that was a stupid suggestion. I'm sorry."
"You're keyed up over this." Jared eyed him. "Trucco's twice Jensen's size, and you fought like hell to convince me to take him in. Hell, Sophia was used in cagefights. You weren't this freaked out then. Did I miss something this morning?"
"No. No. It's just..." Rubbing the back of his neck, Jeff shrugged. "Kane's worried."
"I call bullshit," Jared said gently. "What's going on with you lately, baby? You okay?"
No. Worlds away from it. "I'm okay," Jeff replied, forcing a smile. "Tired, I guess. It's been a long year."
Jared grimaced and looked away, frustrated. "That's weak. You know, one of these days we're gonna talk about this."
"One of these days." Jeff reached out and rubbed Jared's arm. "I'm sorry."
"Me too," Jared said, meeting his eyes. "Jackass. And I'm not going to rent a tux for the wedding."
Despite everything, Jeff felt his mouth tug in a smile. "Does that mean it'll be a naked wedding? I can get behind that."
"I was thinking jeans and a nice shirt, but if you'd rather have it hanging low for all to see..."
A laugh tore up Jeff's throat. Sliding over to Jared, he grabbed his shoulders and squeezed. "God, I love you."
Jared rumpled his hair, and Jeff felt his throat tighten. "I love you too, you idiot."
As Jared trotted down the stairs, Jeff tried to go back to the painting, but his thoughts kept swirling. Morgan's slave. Jensen. God, he'd been looking for so long that it hardly seemed possible.
And now, this. This twisted nightmare of everything he'd ever wanted.
A sharp noise from downstairs caught his attention, and Jeff sidled closer to the rail.
Jensen was on his knees next to the sofa, still tangled in the afghan. His hand was clenching at his shoulder spasmodically, his face twisted into a grimace of pain. When Jared knelt next to him, big hand stroking Jensen's other arm, Jensen started and tried to wrench away from him with panic in his eyes. Jared followed, murmuring slow comfort, resting his hand in the bend of Jensen's elbow.
It took a couple moments, but eventually Jensen shuddered and relaxed. Muscle spasm, Jeff thought, wincing. Too much time spent shackled. He'd lost track of the times Jared had woken screaming during those first two weeks, clutching at his knees or his shoulders, joints locked up tight.
For a few seconds, Jensen glared at Jared, pointedly ignoring his offers of help getting up. Jared being Jared, he just kept trying, talking softly, petting Jensen with a light touch. Pushing. Even from where he was standing, Jeff could see Jensen coiling to lash out. Jeff tensed, moving towards the stairs.
Still rubbing Jensen's good arm, Jared said, "So. Chasing rabbits in your sleep?"
Jensen stared at him. "What?"
"Bisou rolls off the couch a lot that way."
Nonplussed, Jensen sat back on his heels. Finally, an almost-smile ghosting around his mouth, he asked, "Did you just compare me to your dog?"
"Yeah. Dude, take it as a compliment." Grinning, Jared teased, "Bisou's smarter than anybody else in the house."
Jensen gave Jared a last assessing look, then grudgingly let himself smile back. "I can live with that."
"Good." When Jared shifted closer, carefully touching the shoulder that had spasmed, Jensen didn't shy away from the touch. "You want some heat for that? It helps."
Jensen ignored him for a moment, casing the situation in a few quick glances. "Is Jeff here?"
"He's finishing up something in his studio." Jared rubbed Jensen's shoulder with light fingertips, easing off when Jensen winced. "Feels like a tear. Might want to have a doctor look at that."
Jensen gave him a singularly exasperated look.
Watching them, Jeff felt a smile touch his lips. Whatever Jensen thought of him, he'd leave Jared out of it.
"I'm fine." Jensen's eyes narrowed a little, assessing, and Jeff felt himself leaning forward, waiting for whatever would come. "Can I ask you a question? It's... personal."
"Sure, go ahead," Jared grinned. "Oversharing is my middle name."
"Why--How can you let him fuck you?"
Jeff felt his jaw drop open. Well. He hadn't expected that.
Title: Beneath the Halo Moon
Authors:
nilchance and beansideRating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Totally a work of fiction. Never happened.
A/N: Special thanks to
topaz119 and embroiderama, who stepped in to beta for us. All remaining mistakes are ours.It wasn't that often they had a quiet day like this, Jeff thought, squeezing a little more ashen red onto the palette. Usually, Jared was working, even on Sundays. Slavers didn't take a break, so neither did the Agency. Maybe, if it was a mostly quiet weekend, he'd see Jare on Sunday afternoon--have a little quiet time before he started the daily grind on Monday.
It was nice, the expectation of having Jared home all day. Jeff couldn't begrudge him the job; it had been the only thing holding Jared together in the beginning, a lifeline out of a deep well of depression and fury. Jeff had spent enough time alone that he'd come to enjoy it, to need his space to think. Still, he'd be lying if he said there wasn't some small, selfish part of him that wanted Jared out of the field so there'd be no more sleepless nights in an empty house, no more waiting for Jared to come home. No more worry whether he'd come home banged up--or not at all. That last raid, when Jared had bagged a vice cop and ended up in US custody-- God, that had come too close.
If Jared switched to an administrative job--even one with the same grueling hours, Jeff would have him close again. He'd have Jared's laugh filling the house, Jared's body stretched out long as he did paperwork in bed. Jared's smile. Some days, they barely even saw each other over dinner.
That was the job. Hell, at least Jared wasn't as bad as Christian, with his string of failed relationships and a cot set up in his office. When Kane was shot two years ago, Sandy practically had to sit on him to keep him in bed and out of the office. There was dedication, and then there was bugfuck crazy.
Anyway. Jared.
Jeff'd woken up to Jared tucking Jensen back into bed, telling him to get a couple more minutes of sleep. Not a bad way to wake up, necessarily, until he'd opened his eyes to find Jensen staring at him like he'd found his way into bed with the devil. It'd stung, even when Jensen crawled into him looking to get warm. Jeff liked contact, liked touching. He liked sitting in a puppy pile watching movies at Mike's, for God's sake; holding Jensen through an early morning chill hadn't been any hardship. Jensen shivered, but towards the end Jeff could feel him starting to uncoil a little, lying quiet in Jeff's arms. It was like trying to gentle a skittish cat into letting itself be petted. If Jensen only came to him for the warmth, that was still something. Some measure of trust.
It didn't fit with that look, though. Nothing did.
The quiet had lasted all of twenty minutes before Jensen was back up, trying to clean the living room. Jeff'd finally convinced him to sit down with breakfast and watch some television. Jensen had protested the whole way that he was fine, that he wanted to serve. He'd barely made it into a pre-Deathknell comedy before he'd dozed off again, sitting upright. At least his need for sleep was reasserting itself without more sedatives.
He was still sleeping, curled into the afghan Jared had knitted, looking both terribly young and innocent. Somehow, Jeff didn't quite buy the innocence. Not after that moment this morning, that dead stare before Jensen had snuggled up against him. The look in Jensen's eyes--
Jensen had every right to be angry. Jeff had expected that. But Christ, that had been the look of a man staring through the gates of hell. Jeff was missing something, a nagging gap in the puzzle. He ran the details over and over again, tumbling them in the back of his thoughts, trying to draw them into clarity.
So far, all he'd gotten was a headache and a serious need for more coffee. And maybe another muffin. Whatever else Jensen was, he was a damned good baker.
The house was quiet, settling into early morning snow. Jensen showed no signs of stirring; he'd crashed so hard Jeff kept watching him to be sure he was even breathing. With a couple of minutes to kill, Jeff went to work on one of his paintings: the sky over Seattle during the Deathknell crisis. The ash from the burning bodies had gotten into the air, polluted the atmosphere until the filtered sunlight turned the sky to blood.
He'd been ten when he'd seen it, but Jeff would never forget it: the hazy light, the smell of sickness and charring flesh. Mostly, though, he remembered the feel of his grandmother's hand tight on his arm, her face drawn with fear. That had scared him more than the hell around him, right out of the shock of burying his mother and grandfather and into real terror. He could still remember that moment; the dawning realization thatnot everything could be fixed. The world wouldn't always yield to his wishes. And most importantly, nothing lasted forever.
Funny, how that last part kept coming up in his mind lately.
The phone chirped, jerking him back to the loft. Jeff put the palette down, scooping up the phone before it could wake Jensen. With a quick glance down, he confirmed that Jensen was still out, grumbling as he snuggled deeper into the couch. Cute.
"Hello?" Jeff said, pitching his voice for quiet.
"Jeff, we've got a problem." Christian's voice was tight. Afraid.
Jeff stilled, staring at the canvas and feeling the slow grip of dread. Forcing himself to sound light, he asked, "Is this another paranoid goose chase or a real problem?"
"No, it's real." Christian sighed wearily. "I've been here all night, trying to crack your new friend's case file. It's pretty well buried, but we've managed to find a few tidbits. Jonas only had him for a week. Before that, Jensen belonged to Bentley."
"The Knife?" Jeff sat on the edge of his desk.
The Knife, an old nightmare of the Vegas underworld, had gone halfway legitimate as Chief of Security for the President for Life. Bentley was a murderer, sadistically meticulous in creating death scenes and equally precise about never leaving tracks. He was used for the worst executions, dragging traitors out in front of the camera, dissasembling them piece by piece, keeping them alive in their ruined bodies as long as he could. Bentley was the boogieman, rarely seen outside the perimeter of the new White House in Peoria. But his puppets were spread across the globe. He'd snapped after Kane had put a bullet in his wife, Angeline's brain, retreating into research, finding new ways to tear the human body into pieces.
He had owned Jensen. He had let Jensen live. There weren't too many reasons for that.
"Yeah," Kane said, apparently letting Jeff come to his own conclusions. "Him."
"Well, shit." Dragging a hand through his hair, Jeff rubbed the back of his neck and stared down at Jensen. Sleeping, harmless, broken. Black Band. After Jared had been held in US custody, they'd known that Jared would be going to those illegal auctions. Did they know Jared was Jeff's? Fuck. Fuck. "That's problematic."
"There's more." Christian took a deep breath. Bracing himself? Jesus.
"Oh, joy. Go ahead, Kane. Piss on my morning some more," Jeff drawled.
"Jensen's... he's the one, man. You found him."
The oxygen in the room seemed to thin. Jeff sucked in a hard breath, trying to find his balance. He leaned hard against the rail of the loft, looking down at Jensen. Tall; someone had taken care of him once, not recently, not Bentley or Jonas. Someone a long time ago. Someone who had child slaves. Someone who trained him to spy? To kill? Slaves with freckles, green eyes. Jensen almost matched the description, almost--
"The one?" he asked shakily. He needed to hear it out loud, to hear it from Kane. Kane would know.
"He was Morgan's, Jeff," Kane said, and gave a rough laugh. "Christ, after all this time, he finds us. Typical."
"Fuck," Jeff whispered, holding the phone against his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut.
After all the years of searching, it was finally over. He'd found his grandmother's last slave.
And Bentley had sent him to auction for Jared to find.
"Jeff? Jeff!" Kane yelled. "Goddamn it, I'm coming over! You know he's not here to thank you and exchange greeting cards, you dumb bastard."
"I'm here," Jeff managed, his voice thick in his throat. "Don't--don't come yet. I'll call you back."
"You-"
Jeff hung up the phone and stared at the brilliant panoramic view beneath him without seeing. It didn't matter. None of it mattered. They'd found him.
No. Jensen had found Jeff. If Bentley knew where he was, they'd all be dead by now. Bentley had sent in a starved, unarmed slave, and now Jensen didn't even have surprise on his side. Jeff had about fifty pounds on Jensen, plus the taser. Jensen was exhausted, hurt and probably sick. If it came to a fight, Jeff would win.
God, even thinking about that kind of fight made his stomach roll.
He was still staring at nothing when Jared got back, flushed and beautiful, grinning in that infectious way he had. Jared was halfway up the loft ladder before Jeff could draw himself back to the present.
"Hey," Jared murmured, expression softening with concern. "Everything okay, baby? You look like you saw a ghost."
Jeff looked at him, drinking Jared in. Jared's warmth, his light, Jeff couldn't drag him into--
"Marry me," Jeff blurted.
"What?" Jared laughed, looking like he wasn't sure what the game was, but willing to learn. Wrinkling his nose, Jared leaned into him. "Sorry, I can't hear you past the crazy man rambling."
Baby, Jeff thought grimly, you don't know the half of it. Cupping Jared's shoulders, Jeff drew him closer. "Marry me. Y'know, holy matrimony?"
"Yeah, right. I don't think I'd look good in a white dress, and Kane would be hideous in taffeta."
"I don't think you'd qualify for white," Jeff shot back, and managed a smile. Sliding off the desk and onto his knees, Jeff took Jared's hand. "I'm serious."
"While you're down there," Jared said, shifting his weight nervously. "Jeff-"
Jeff's heart was pounding. He had to swallow twice before he got out, "Jared Padalecki, will you marry me?"
Dark eyes met Jeff's and Jared's face softened. "You're really serious," he murmured.
"Totally." Jeff met his eyes, wondering if the sick desperation showed on his face. He needed this. Needed to tie Jared to him, to have one more bond that might keep him by Jeff's side. At least then, if (when) they killed him, Jared would get the money.
Jared would be safer this way. Kane would make sure of that. Goddamn it, it was never supposed to come to this.
"Yes," Jared murmured simply, smile so open and free that it made Jeff's throat ache. "God, you don't even have to ask. Yes."
"Yes." Jeff came to his feet, hands cradling Jared's face, pulling him down for a kiss. Jared laughed into the kiss, and grabbed Jeff by the shirt to keep him close. Then the angle shifted, or the world shifted, and the kiss was something else. Jared's lips parted; Jeff slid deeper to taste him, sugar and coffee. He felt his hands tremble on Jared's jaw, his thumbs coasting over the sweep of Jared's cheekbones. Jared made a ragged sound, pressing Jeff back against the desk.
This was--they couldn't--
Jeff shifted, spreading his thighs so Jared's knee could fit between them, biting at Jared's mouth. Jared leaned against him, hands sliding down Jeff's chest to rest on his belly, steady strength like Jared would just press him back on the desk and take him hard. Jeff felt the growl rumble up his throat, felt Jared grin.
When Jared pulled back, Jeff let him. He felt dizzy, his breathing ragged. Jared's eyes were all pupil, feral and frustrated.
"Jensen," Jared said breathlessly.
Guilt hit like a brick. Jeff glanced away from Jared for a moment, until he knew his face wouldn't betray him. He swallowed, managed roughly, "Oh. Yeah."
"Yeah," Jared echoed. "We should..."
Jeff rubbed his chin absently. "Yeah."
Jared glanced down at Jensen's softly snoring form, then back at Jeff. The dark heat in Jared's eyes gave him a clue before those hands were sliding down to cup Jeff's hips. "We'll just have to be really quiet."
"Jare-" Jeff started, breaking off as Jared's fingers tightened, jerking him close so he could feel the hard press of Jared against his stomach. Biting back a groan, Jeff leaned his head back for a second to think without Jared's eyes on his, Jared's scent drowning him. As it turned out, that was all the invitation Jared needed to bend and bite the hollow of Jeff's throat. Jeff jerked, swallowing hard, and tried to remember why this was a bad idea.
Leaning in to let his mouth brush Jeff's ear, Jared purred, "Fuck me."
Jeff shuddered, the breath sending a shiver down his spine. "God, Jare," Jeff growled. "Want that. Want to be inside you, fuck you so hard, but-"
Jared arched back, all pliant, offering his throat. "Then what're you waiting for?"
With an invitation like that, how could he resist? Something in him gave way, the same violent need that put him on his knees with a proposal in his mouth. Jeff leaned forward, teeth grazing Jared's throat. The way Jared writhed, hips pressing harder against Jeff, nearly did him in right there. "Jesus," Jeff breathed, letting his hands slide up to grip the back of Jared's shirt, biting again just to feel Jared twist against him. Jared's hair would hide the marks, but they'd be there.
Pulling back to meet Jeff's eyes, Jared let his knees fold. He crouched in front of Jeff, already pulling at the waistband of Jeff's jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping fast and quiet. Jeff leaned back against the desk, gripping the edge, and glanced over his shoulder at the couch. Jensen was still out. God, this was so wrong-
Jared's fingers found his cock, easing the way out of Jeff's jeans. Jared stroked him, smirking up at Jeff through his hair, and bent to take Jeff in his mouth. Jeff felt his hips twitch, almost rocking the desk back against the railing. He forced himself to be still, muscles in his thighs trembling, fingers digging into the desk.
Jared lifted his head for a moment, flashing the lazy, slitted eyed smile that never failed to make Jeff want to throw him on the ground and go for it. "Gotta get you nice and slick," he said, voice dropping into an almost sub vocal purr of sound. "Not too much, though. Wanna feel it." His hand pumped Jeff lightly, teasing friction more than giving it. "Want to feel your big cock in my tight ass."
"Ohfuck," Jeff growled. "Gonna fuck you so good." His voice gave when Jared slid his lips back on to Jeff's cock, swallowing as much as he could in one easy motion. "God, Jare. Not too much, Jesus. Gonna make me come just like this."
Jared slanted a look through his eyelashes, considering, then gripped the base of Jeff's cock in ruthless fingers. Jeff closed his eyes, chewing the inside of his lip, until he could breathe again. He heard the creak of the floorboards under Jared as he rose, body pressing against Jeff's. Then came the slick sweep of Jared's tongue across his lower lip.
Jared's smile was smug. "Too much?" he whispered.
Holding Jared's eyes, Jeff slid off the desk and into Jared's space. He gripped Jared by the scruff, fingers tightening in Jared's hair, and watched the hunger flare in Jared's eyes. Jared let Jeff pull his head back, still smiling as Jeff made him bare throat. When Jeff pushed him at the canvas-draped rail, Jared grabbed for it and braced against it. His spine was a gorgeous curve, ass tilted up.
Jared's running pants slid down with a whisper of fabric, his cock bobbing free to curve towards his belly. Jeff could already see the head glistening with anticipation. Jeff pressed against him, cock riding between Jared's cheeks, slick and ready. He reached forward, dragging a callused finger along the head of Jared's cock before bringing his finger to his lips, tasting Jared salty and hot on his tongue.
"So good. Want to taste?" Jeff offered Jared his fingers, smiling as Jared lapped at them almost frantically. "Get 'em good and wet. Cause that's all the lube you're getting."
It was a damned good thing he had his fingers in Jare's mouth, Jeff thought. Another moan like that, and Jensen would have to be dead not to wake up. He closed his eyes as Jared sucked his fingers, tongue teasing along the calluses. It had been too long; his blood was up and pounding, every beat 'Jared' and 'mine'. Coasting his thumb along Jared's mouth, Jeff could feel the bump of his fingers and the hollowing of Jared's cheeks as he sucked hungrily.
Jeff drew his fingers out, growling into the back of Jared's neck as Jared tried to lean and follow his fingers. He kicked Jared's feet further apart, then laid his free palm over Jared's mouth. Jared whimpered, hips bucking back.
"You're going to be quiet for me," Jeff murmured, stroking his spit-slick fingers across Jared's hole. Jared twitched under his touch, trying to spread wider, making little noises against his palm. When Jeff slid a finger in, Jared arched back, hands seizing on the rail. Curling his finger up to rub, Jeff felt Jared shudder and smiled. "Shh, baby, yeah. Just like that."
A second finger made Jared bite at Jeff's palm, hips canting wantonly back.
"Love it when you're like this," Jeff whispered, biting at Jared's shoulder. "My pretty little slut."
Jared moaned against Jeff's hand. It had taken Jeff a long time to be comfortable with Jared's proclivities for dirty talk, but now it was hard to say who got off on it more.
Jeff twisted his fingers roughly, pulling them free. "That better be enough," he said. Whether or not Jared got off on it, Jeff still stroked Jared's jaw with his thumb, a wordless reminder that Jared could stop this on a dime. "Want you to feel it."
Jared spread his feet wider apart, silently begging. His expression was blissed-out, eyelashes heavy on his cheeks.
Despite his words, Jeff spit on his palm, quickly re-slicking himself before lining up. He pressed in slow, painful, biting Jared's shoulder as tight friction came dangerously close to too much. Jared's knuckles were white on the rail, his body pulsing around Jeff's cock. He panted against Jeff's hand, quick hot breaths, barely muffled moans.
Gripping Jared's hip, Jeff eased in until his hips touched the sweet curve of Jared's ass. He palmed Jared's stomach, feeling the muscles tighten, then fumbled down to curl his fingers around Jared's cock. Jared jerked in his arms, trembling. Jeff held still, jacking Jared's cock slow and deliberate, ignoring the need to drive deep and never stop. Finally, breath hitching, Jared moved back against him, going up on his toes, trying to fuck himself.
A quick bite to Jared's shoulder stilled him. "Not this time, Jare. My show."
Jared whimpered softly, and Jeff kissed where he'd bitten, soothing the mark.
He started rocking slowly--tiny, barely there movements--his hand never slowing on Jared's cock. Jeff let his eyes lock on Jensen, curled up on the couch, oblivious. Watched Jensen; moved for Jared, murmuring low filth against Jared's shoulder, rocking Jared back against his cock. Jared was slick under his fingers, soft wet noises curling around Jeff's spine as he shifted his grip to hold on tighter.
This was his. Whatever else happened, he would always have this.
All at once, Jared stiffened, tightened abruptly around him. Jeff let go, torn loose from solid ground, fucking him hard and relentless through his orgasm. Jared bit his palm, hands scrabbling for a grip on the rail, and Jeff fell hard with his fingers digging into Jared's hip.
Then it was quiet, their heavy breathing lost under the sound of the TV downstairs. Jeff forced his eyes open, confirmed that Jensen was still out, and let his forehead drop against the back of Jared's neck. Jesus, he was too old for this.
Jared moved first, coming to his knees with a soft laugh, shivering as Jeff slid free of him. "Goddamn," he breathed. "Don't know what got into you, but I like it."
Jeff helped him get tucked back into his pants and accepted Jared's hand up. "Too old to keep up with you," he breathed.
Jared leaned in, pressing a kiss to Jeff's lips. "Need the oxygen, old man?"
"I think I'll survive." He turned back to the painting, glancing back to Jared. "I'm going to do a little more on this, then I'll be down."
Jared smiled again, all open and free, eyes glittering in the light of the morning sun. "Don't be too long. I won't save you any cocoa."
"God forbid," Jeff teased.
Jared turned to head down the loft stairs, and Jeff closed his eyes. Jesus, he was insane. What if Jensen was here to kill him? Would he stop with Jeff? What if Jared was in the way?
"Jare. Hold up a second."
Jared turned, smile still intact. "What's up?"
"Do me a favor." Jeff considered his options on how much to tell Jared. "Kane called while you were out. He's a little antsy about Jensen. Won't say what, but he said that he was concerned about Jensen as a safety risk. To us," Jeff added.
Jared frowned. "He thinks Jensen is dangerous?"
"Potentially. Maybe... maybe we should let Kane take him," Jeff said.
"That's not really a viable option," Jared said, shaking his head. "He works eighteen hours a day. Jensen can't be alone right now. He's screwed up and a major suicide risk."
"Or he could go to work with Kane."
"Baby, you've seen Kane's office. It's a broom closet with a complex."
"What about the Community Center?" Jeff said. "He could go there while Kane was at work." It was a stupid suggestion, Jeff knew it. But the look of utter horror Jared turned on him made him feel like a grade-one asshole.
"Great, he can get raped by the pissed off labor slaves." With an incredulous look, Jared leaned on the rail. "Jeff, what the hell are you thinking?"
Yeah, that was the point. Jeff wasn't thinking. He owed Jensen and Jared both more than this blind panic. Dragging a hand through his hair, Jeff sighed. "You're right, that was a stupid suggestion. I'm sorry."
"You're keyed up over this." Jared eyed him. "Trucco's twice Jensen's size, and you fought like hell to convince me to take him in. Hell, Sophia was used in cagefights. You weren't this freaked out then. Did I miss something this morning?"
"No. No. It's just..." Rubbing the back of his neck, Jeff shrugged. "Kane's worried."
"I call bullshit," Jared said gently. "What's going on with you lately, baby? You okay?"
No. Worlds away from it. "I'm okay," Jeff replied, forcing a smile. "Tired, I guess. It's been a long year."
Jared grimaced and looked away, frustrated. "That's weak. You know, one of these days we're gonna talk about this."
"One of these days." Jeff reached out and rubbed Jared's arm. "I'm sorry."
"Me too," Jared said, meeting his eyes. "Jackass. And I'm not going to rent a tux for the wedding."
Despite everything, Jeff felt his mouth tug in a smile. "Does that mean it'll be a naked wedding? I can get behind that."
"I was thinking jeans and a nice shirt, but if you'd rather have it hanging low for all to see..."
A laugh tore up Jeff's throat. Sliding over to Jared, he grabbed his shoulders and squeezed. "God, I love you."
Jared rumpled his hair, and Jeff felt his throat tighten. "I love you too, you idiot."
As Jared trotted down the stairs, Jeff tried to go back to the painting, but his thoughts kept swirling. Morgan's slave. Jensen. God, he'd been looking for so long that it hardly seemed possible.
And now, this. This twisted nightmare of everything he'd ever wanted.
A sharp noise from downstairs caught his attention, and Jeff sidled closer to the rail.
Jensen was on his knees next to the sofa, still tangled in the afghan. His hand was clenching at his shoulder spasmodically, his face twisted into a grimace of pain. When Jared knelt next to him, big hand stroking Jensen's other arm, Jensen started and tried to wrench away from him with panic in his eyes. Jared followed, murmuring slow comfort, resting his hand in the bend of Jensen's elbow.
It took a couple moments, but eventually Jensen shuddered and relaxed. Muscle spasm, Jeff thought, wincing. Too much time spent shackled. He'd lost track of the times Jared had woken screaming during those first two weeks, clutching at his knees or his shoulders, joints locked up tight.
For a few seconds, Jensen glared at Jared, pointedly ignoring his offers of help getting up. Jared being Jared, he just kept trying, talking softly, petting Jensen with a light touch. Pushing. Even from where he was standing, Jeff could see Jensen coiling to lash out. Jeff tensed, moving towards the stairs.
Still rubbing Jensen's good arm, Jared said, "So. Chasing rabbits in your sleep?"
Jensen stared at him. "What?"
"Bisou rolls off the couch a lot that way."
Nonplussed, Jensen sat back on his heels. Finally, an almost-smile ghosting around his mouth, he asked, "Did you just compare me to your dog?"
"Yeah. Dude, take it as a compliment." Grinning, Jared teased, "Bisou's smarter than anybody else in the house."
Jensen gave Jared a last assessing look, then grudgingly let himself smile back. "I can live with that."
"Good." When Jared shifted closer, carefully touching the shoulder that had spasmed, Jensen didn't shy away from the touch. "You want some heat for that? It helps."
Jensen ignored him for a moment, casing the situation in a few quick glances. "Is Jeff here?"
"He's finishing up something in his studio." Jared rubbed Jensen's shoulder with light fingertips, easing off when Jensen winced. "Feels like a tear. Might want to have a doctor look at that."
Jensen gave him a singularly exasperated look.
Watching them, Jeff felt a smile touch his lips. Whatever Jensen thought of him, he'd leave Jared out of it.
"I'm fine." Jensen's eyes narrowed a little, assessing, and Jeff felt himself leaning forward, waiting for whatever would come. "Can I ask you a question? It's... personal."
"Sure, go ahead," Jared grinned. "Oversharing is my middle name."
"Why--How can you let him fuck you?"
Jeff felt his jaw drop open. Well. He hadn't expected that.
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