And I've been running uphill, panting, punching at the air, fighting what's been pushing me down

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It's Friday!! I'm a bit down this morning, because of course after a couple of extra expenditures (the coffee isn't coming til Monday and so I had to get some more. We did't have enough cheese for the fajitas. And Amazon took out the Music Unlimited Subscription from the wrong account) the farmer's market appears to be off for me this week. I'm actually really sad about it. It was the bright point I was holding on to after Jess' biopsy and the thought that I can't do it is really upsetting me. I should have had like $60 to play, but instead I can't even pay my Roll20 subscription. They'll give me a little grace period, but still. It just feels like I'm not allowed to get ahead.

Everything (except Roll20) is paid, there's just not anything left to do anything fun. I hate it. I hate it so much. I hate it even more when I see my sister getting extra things. I don't want to cut her short, but it also feels somewhat unfair that I'm struggling so hard, while she's getting non vital things. She makes less than me, so I don't know what bill she could take on, but it boils down that I'm paying half the rent, the gas and electric, cell phones, internet, and the bulk of groceries. That's a lot when you add in my car payment and car insurance. The cell phones rankle a little. It's a family plan, and it has Jess and me as well as my sister and her fiance/commonlaw/boyfriend of 40 years. Neither of them pay towards it, even though I'm currently paying for the bill and the monthly payment for my sister's phone.

I'm just tired of seeing no money in my account.

Aside from that, things are okay.

I made fajitas last night, which turned out really well. I made them from scratch all the way, from marinating the chicken in lime juice and and spices down to making the fajitas. I did buy two things I didn't strictly speaking need. One is a larger cast iron pan and one is a tortilla press.

They turned out really well. I was very excited with the results.







I had a small cast iron skillet, which I used for the tortillas.

Then for the fajita themselves, I used the enormous skillet. It's 14" and I filled it with peppers and onions and marinated chicken and sauteed on high heat. As it cooked, the chicken marinade got on the onions and peppers, giving everything a nice citrus flavor. With a little guac, and some cotija cheese, it was really tasty. I ate three fajitas and spent the rest of the night questioning my life choices.

No clue what I'm making tonight. Maybe some nice oatmeal cookies. Dinner, we'll see.

Okay, time for me to go forth and get myself together. Everyone have an most excellent Friday!!