Greetings on this lovely Wednesday! Happy Beltane!! Another night where I didn't sleep great. I'm not particularly tired, so it's definitely going to kick my ass later today.
Yesterday managed to go very slowly and very quickly. It was slow while I was waiting for MRI results, and once they came in, the rest of the day was kind of a blur. I did 54 calls, and around 30 appointments, so I continue apace. Right now, after I finish the call, I'm filling out a spreadsheet with the patient's name and appointment, so that my trainer can check them. That's taking an extra 45 seconds per patient, so once I'm allowed to stop that, I'll probably do more calls per day.
The results seemed to take roughly forever to come in. After I had such trouble holding completely still, I was terrified that they were going to say "we can't read this shit, do it again," but the report didn't say a word about that. I had told Jess that my biggest fear was that it would show something stupid like a muscle strain, and I was being a baby. I also said if it was going to be anything, I kind of wanted it to be pronounced, so it was more of a "how are you doing this much?" instead of feeling like I was wasting the doctor's time.
Around 2:30, the results finally dropped into my portal, and oooh, boy. To quote:
1. Full-thickness tear of the supraspinatus, measuring 1.5 cm AP dimension; tendinosis and low-grade interstitial tear of the infraspinatus; and tendinosis of subscapularis; mild diffuse rotator cuff muscle atrophy.
2. Moderate to severe acromioclavicular arthropathy.
3. Mild-to-moderate glenohumeral cartilage disease.
Nothing like dueling rotator cuff tears, plus moderate to severe damage to the joint and mild damage to the cartilage. Oh, and tendinosis and muscle atrophy. It's a lot to unpack. I spent the rest of the day in mild shock. I'm still kind of there, to be honest.
My thought process:
It's slowly sinking in all the things I shouldn't do. Mostly helping with dad. I cant pull the sit/stand any more. Pulling him up in bed just got more complicated, since I can probably only do it with one arm. I feel kind of bad that I'm not going to be able to help Jess as much.
With the primary care practice closing the office I went to and the doctor seemingly gone, I have no idea if they're going to call me to give me the results. Either way, I scheduled an appointment next Wednesday at 7:30am to see an ortho. It was for the 20th, but it occurred to me that I should check the other office, and that one they had a super early appointment, which is what I needed. I can't really take time off work until after my 90days, which granted is in 2 weeks, but still.
I'm really hoping we can try physical therapy and steroid shots to start. I'm not really into the idea of surgery. And if that's what it needs, it's going to be a few months before I can consider it, because I currently have 20 hours of PTO in my bank, and I don't think that's going to cut it.
As I mentioned to![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
poisontaster , I'm realizing how much of my self worth is tied up in what I can do for other people. I'm taking a bit of a hit there right now, and I'm not liking it. I'm also realizing that it might be a touch fucked up that I've been continuing to do my normal caretaking things while I was hurting. I mean, I don't know what else I could do, but in retrospect, it was probably not good.
Okay, time for me to consider pants for the day. Everyone have an excellent day!
Yesterday managed to go very slowly and very quickly. It was slow while I was waiting for MRI results, and once they came in, the rest of the day was kind of a blur. I did 54 calls, and around 30 appointments, so I continue apace. Right now, after I finish the call, I'm filling out a spreadsheet with the patient's name and appointment, so that my trainer can check them. That's taking an extra 45 seconds per patient, so once I'm allowed to stop that, I'll probably do more calls per day.
The results seemed to take roughly forever to come in. After I had such trouble holding completely still, I was terrified that they were going to say "we can't read this shit, do it again," but the report didn't say a word about that. I had told Jess that my biggest fear was that it would show something stupid like a muscle strain, and I was being a baby. I also said if it was going to be anything, I kind of wanted it to be pronounced, so it was more of a "how are you doing this much?" instead of feeling like I was wasting the doctor's time.
Around 2:30, the results finally dropped into my portal, and oooh, boy. To quote:
1. Full-thickness tear of the supraspinatus, measuring 1.5 cm AP dimension; tendinosis and low-grade interstitial tear of the infraspinatus; and tendinosis of subscapularis; mild diffuse rotator cuff muscle atrophy.
2. Moderate to severe acromioclavicular arthropathy.
3. Mild-to-moderate glenohumeral cartilage disease.
Nothing like dueling rotator cuff tears, plus moderate to severe damage to the joint and mild damage to the cartilage. Oh, and tendinosis and muscle atrophy. It's a lot to unpack. I spent the rest of the day in mild shock. I'm still kind of there, to be honest.
My thought process:
It's slowly sinking in all the things I shouldn't do. Mostly helping with dad. I cant pull the sit/stand any more. Pulling him up in bed just got more complicated, since I can probably only do it with one arm. I feel kind of bad that I'm not going to be able to help Jess as much.
With the primary care practice closing the office I went to and the doctor seemingly gone, I have no idea if they're going to call me to give me the results. Either way, I scheduled an appointment next Wednesday at 7:30am to see an ortho. It was for the 20th, but it occurred to me that I should check the other office, and that one they had a super early appointment, which is what I needed. I can't really take time off work until after my 90days, which granted is in 2 weeks, but still.
I'm really hoping we can try physical therapy and steroid shots to start. I'm not really into the idea of surgery. And if that's what it needs, it's going to be a few months before I can consider it, because I currently have 20 hours of PTO in my bank, and I don't think that's going to cut it.
As I mentioned to
poisontaster , I'm realizing how much of my self worth is tied up in what I can do for other people. I'm taking a bit of a hit there right now, and I'm not liking it. I'm also realizing that it might be a touch fucked up that I've been continuing to do my normal caretaking things while I was hurting. I mean, I don't know what else I could do, but in retrospect, it was probably not good.Okay, time for me to consider pants for the day. Everyone have an excellent day!
