If thine is the glory, then mine must be the shame

[beanside]

It's Saturday, and I managed to sleep til 7:30! Whoo, go me. It's later than it could be, so I'll take it as a win. Nothing planed today, so I don't even know if I'll get out of my nightgown. I may just lounge around watching "Next In Fashion" on my laptop. Tomorrow, it's back to work, and a game that I'm playing in at 5.

Yesterday was...challenging. Spent the morning anxious about Dad's care meeting, and then they decided to start the damn thing early, so. I only got there for the second half of it. They're going to do some labs, to make sure he doesn't have an infection, but otherwise, they have no real insight on why he went downhill so fast. They don't seem to think that the Pheno is the cause, which is scary as fuck.

I know sudden onset dementia is a thing that can happen. But Jess has done some research, and it seems to fit scarily well. Decreased appetite for anything not sugar, check. Memory problems, check, even before the rehab. Twitching and spasms, involuntary vocalizations, check. Beligerence, check. Everything points to Oh Shit land.

They're not kicking him out yet, but I get the feeling it's probably not going to be long. They asked if we had made plans for what we're going to do with him.

I have no fucking clue. My sister is going to be determined to bring him home, but I don't know that it would be the best option. I think it would be very difficult for us physically and emotionally. Apparently a diagnosis of dementia qualifies you for hospice, so that might be something to look into.

All in all, I'm heartsick and afraid and very sad. I didn't think I was going to have to start grieving this soon.

After the meeting, we had game and that helped a lot. It was a kind of silly game, in which I nearly killed my player characters repeatedly. But they felt challenged at least?

Okay, now I'm going to go forth and have more coffee, and consider trying to wake up.

Comments

[dine]

I'm sorry. that's an hard thing to be facing for everyone. I'm thinking of you guys, and hope you can figure out a good plan/place for your dad

[poisontaster]

I will say: as 'noble' and 'proper' (and I use both those terms loosely) as it is to keep one's relatives at home with a dementia diagnosis, I know from experience with friends and relatives: it's a terrible idea. Completely aside from the amount of labor (emotional and physical) that goes into it, knowing the person you loved is fundamentally dead, and now you're just taking care of the body until it catches up is AWFUL. Just rips your heart out with a straw. And if he gets violent, which can (and given the belligerence, seems likely to happen...you don't want that. You don't want it for you or your sister or for JESS. I promise you, you all are not equipped for that kind of 24/7 vigilance or what it does to your head and relationships. If he has dementia, do the right thing for all of you. I really have tried to wean away from giving people advice on how to live their lives, but on this one, I can't not say anything: if he has dementia, get him in a home, for all your sakes. I promise you.

[citygrownwillow]

I'm so sorry to hear about your father. Sending some love your way. <3

[epeeblade]

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. My grandmother had dementia, and it was really hard on my dad as caregiver. I know they hired a person to stay with her, because the family alone couldn't take care of her.