Shine, sweet freedom, shine your light on me

[beanside]

After thinking about it during a looong afternoon yesterday, I decided to use my Wellness day, and take a mental health day and start my vacation a day early. So, I am freeee for 18 glorious days! Let the vacation begin!

Yesterday, I started my day with a virtual doctor's appointment with Plushcare to deal with my asthma being worse since Covid. I came out with a prescription for prednisone and montelukast (Singulair) and we'll see if that will settle my lungs down. It's not like I'm having trouble doing things, just that I've had to use my albuterol more than I should need to. Hopefully, the steroids will do what they're supposed to, and by the time we make it to Disney they're kicking in.

Then, I had Dad's care team meeting, which was...not great. They seemed to mostly think that he'll be using a wheelchair, but admitted that he can get up and walk. Apparently the asshole has refused therapy most of this week, which just pissed me off. Since I'm not sure he'd be able to get into the house, I think we're going to have East Coast Ambulance bring him home and take that worry off my mind. Once he's in, then we can assess how much help he needs, and plot accordingly. If we need someone to come in the morning for an hour or two and help my sister get him up and dressed, that's what we'll do. Care.com exists for a reason.

In the evening, we had a discussion about Dad and the realities of what we might be facing when he comes home. Jess is worried about me. They're concerned that if he's not in great shape, I'll be full of angst over going on vacation. I did not realize how much Jess disliked my father, and I feel horrible that they're his primary caretaker.

Then, I went to pick up four prescriptions, and only came back with three, because they forgot to give me one and I didn't notice.

Then, I took the ATM card to get gas, and forgot to give it back to Jess, and they got all the way out to the weed store, and couldn't get the money out to get their stash. They'll probably go back on Thursday and pick it up instead.

Today shall be the day we relax and prepare for Dad's return. I have to call the ambulance place, and get that set up, but aside from that, I don't have anything planned. Okay, I'll probably end up going over to visit Dad at some point, maybe.

Tomorrow will probably be very stressful, but we'll see how it goes.

For now, I'm going to get myself together and have more coffee. Everyone have a lovely Wednesday!

Comments

[nilchance]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel worse about your dad or like you needed to feel guilty. Most of my anger towards him us because of his treatment of you in particular, which is in no way your fault. It's hard to like someone who is deliberately mean to you, makes you cry, and doesn't seem to care enough to change his behavior at all. But caring for him lets me work from home, and I have been incredibly frustrated with him but it's still a chance to contribute to the household and help out with money. You have nothing to feel horrible about, because his bullshit is not your fault. I love you.

[beanside]

I love you, too.

That's my secret, Cap. I'm always guilty. He's just been SO badly behaved, and it makes me incredibly angry, but I don't deal well with angry, so I just feel bad instead, and sometimes that slips out sideways to guilt and feeling like I need to control everything.

You on the other hand, contribute plenty to the household even without taking care of him. You are valuable all by yourself.

[dine]

I'm glad you took that extra day and have started your vacation early - good for you!

I hope things go even semi-decently with your dad, and that he isn't more of a pain once he's home. I'm so sorry his behavior affects you guys so much; it's not fair to you at all

[beanside]

Honestly, after the way he's been the last few weeks, if it was solely up to me, he'd be staying in the rehab until his attitude changed. But alas, I do not get to make that decision. We shall see whether he's going to be a problem in a few hours, I suppose.

I decided that I would be useless trying to work, so I dipped.